Think I screwed myself (socially) by moving to where I am

[StrayCat]

So, in short, a few years ago, I moved out of the city (Manhattan) of 20 million people and bought a house. I hated apartment living and over the years I've rebuilt the house and fixed it up. I looks really nice now. The only negative part is that it's in a rural area about 45 mins for the city, 30 mins from the closest city with over 100k in people.

I restarted online dating and I only get messages from attractive women in Manhattan or Brooklyn, or hog beasts around my area. I've messaged about 20 women who live around me (with 20 mins), but none have replied. Now I know what you are going to say, just go see them in the city. Well, Brooklyn is about a 2 hour drive through two bridges or a bridge and a tunnel. Manhattan is about 45 mins, and you still have ridiculous tolls and parking fees. Plus, drinks in Manhattan are crazy expensive. To get into Manhattan and parking, you are talking 50 bucks easy. That is not including fuel and drinks. Brooklyn is even worse. Additionally, most do not have a car, so chances of them ever coming to me is slim because no car.

Am I fvcked? I really do not want to move as I love my house, but I am at a loss here on what to do.

 

[logicallefty]

IMO you made a good decision. My opinion might not mean much considering how redneck and rural I am. I'm 45 minutes to two cities over 100k and a solid two hours from downtown Chicago. I love to visit Chicago frequently and even considered taking up a second residence there at one point for during the work week. But I would never ever trade in my rural life permanently. Especially not for women. Sometimes I just want to get away from people, PERIOD. I would say focus on the women that are nearest you as your first line of women. Then as an alternate find some in NYC who are willing to meet you half way. Since around Christmas I have been seeing somebody now who lives over an hour away. For the first meeting we met in the middle. And of course, as I expected, she could not resist me. Since then I have been to her place once and she has drove the hour+ to my house 5-6 times. I bet in your case if the interest is high enough, they will come to you from NYC once you meet them the first time.

 

[marmel75]

You havent screwed yourself you just havent figured out what works yet. Are you doing rhe same thing regarding rhe messages? If so common sense says if something isnt working after a number of attempts then you obviously need to change what it is that you are doing.

 

[StrayCat]

IMO you made a good decision. My opinion might not mean much considering how redneck and rural I am. I'm 45 minutes to two cities over 100k and a solid two hours from downtown Chicago. I love to visit Chicago frequently and even considered taking up a second residence there at one point for during the work week. But I would never ever trade in my rural life permanently. Especially not for women. Sometimes I just want to get away from people, PERIOD. I would say focus on the women that are nearest you as your first line of women. Then as an alternate find some in NYC who are willing to meet you half way. Since around Christmas I have been seeing somebody now who lives over an hour away. For the first meeting we met in the middle. And of course, as I expected, she could not resist me. Since then I have been to her place once and she has drove the hour+ to my house 5-6 times. I bet in your case if the interest is high enough, they will come to you from NYC once you meet them the first time.

Apparently, these women must have cars as they have pictures with them in the drivers seat. I really cannot stand the city, but it seems avoidable. This was one of the reasons why I was seeing that other woman who lived about an hour away. I have no problem with people, usually, but I was tired of apt living, so I bought a fixer-upper. How do you know if the interest is high enough? Should I see if they'd meet me over the George Washington Bridge in NJ for a drink, or am I asking too much? I just do not want to be out 150 bucks + for a first meet. This is Manhattan by the way.

 

[sosousage]

cold approach maybe you will find some young gurls there

 

[StrayCat]

You havent screwed yourself you just havent figured out what works yet. Are you doing rhe same thing regarding rhe messages? If so common sense says if something isnt working after a number of attempts then you obviously need to change what it is that you are doing.

I think I messaged around 22 women so far, liked a few more than that. Some of the messages, depending on the profile and pics, I used either

+10 for enjoying life and not looking like a stiff
+5 for quality over quantity
-3 for being an Aries, nothing but trouble

or

Well, you seem like a potentially fun and interesting girl. But how do I know you're not actually a crazy cat lady who stays in all weekend to watch Bravo 24/7? Early nights in bed before 9pm aside, what is your ideal weekend like?

No response.

I then read their profiles, picked something out of them or an interesting picture and received 2 replies. The first one was like thanks and where the pic was taken. Then I asked where else she has been, she replied. I replied I also been to so and so. I then asked what do you like to do for fun and excitement, no reply. The other one I've not read yet, but she did message and like my pics, so I assume there is interest there. Ages are 29 and 31 for these two. The others ran the gambit from 27 - 39.

About a year ago I tried this before. I e-mailed 250 + women over 3 months and received 2 dates. One woman was a b!tch and cursed at me for asking how her day was (she's still active). Another one just said no thanks. The two I met were disasters and didn't look like anything like their pics. I prefer thin or athletic. They looked like size 10 or higher.

Granted this time is a bit better, but the only ones who are liking me or showing an interest now are hog beasts, women with children or attractive women from Manhattan and Brooklyn. My profile states what I am looking for. I do not state no NYC, but I state:

My perfect lady is between 5′- 1″ and 5′- 6″ tall, slender, and in great shape with an as body. Health & exercise is a huge part of her life as well.

I also state, no single mothers. Do they even read the profiles?

 

[StrayCat]

cold approach maybe you will find some young gurls there

What's that?

 

[fanatic22]

Apparently, these women must have cars as they have pictures with them in the drivers seat. I really cannot stand the city, but it seems avoidable. This was one of the reasons why I was seeing that other woman who lived about an hour away. I have no problem with people, usually, but I was tired of apt living, so I bought a fixer-upper. How do you know if the interest is high enough? Should I see if they'd meet me over the George Washington Bridge in NJ for a drink, or am I asking too much? I just do not want to be out 150 bucks + for a first meet. This is Manhattan by the way.

You're better off looking for women in Hoboken or Jersey City than NYC. Yes, asking someone who relies on public transportation to come to NJ is a big ask, especially on OLD.

Now, alternatively, I would recommend the app and website Smooth Parking if you want to see where you can park for free in NYC. Also I strongly recommend going out in the Lower East Side if you're looking for NJ girls, though they're mostly in their early 20s. For whatever reason everyone I meet there is from Jersey. I even had two instances where I drove a girl home and stayed the night at her place. I stay in Jersey when I go out in NYC so that was pretty convenient.

Your other option is working on your day game and frequenting malls, parks, etc.

 

[StrayCat]

I am messaging NJ women as well, but it hit or miss. JC is about an hour from me, Hoboken a bit more. I do not mind the drive, however, it seems the ladies may. I tend to try to stay out of the city as much as possible. Don't get me wrong, I love the city, but the traffic and cost to get there from where I live is insane. Sometimes I wish I never moved here. When I lived in the city and NJ, I had no issues with getting interest from women. Ever since I moved up here, it's really hard. Hog beasts, single mother's, not an issue. If that is the case, I'd rather be single or have to consider moving; which I really do not want to do. I live in Orange County, so women are really turned off by that. I moved up here after my parents died and my marriage fell apart. I just wanted solitude and to be alone. This was several years ago. It seems I've built my own fortress of solitude. Which, outside of dating is fine. When I get women to come to the house, they love it. I have a strong feeling that may had been a big reason for the last dating failure.

Not a day game player. I run a company during the day with employees and multiple locations. I barely have enough time to take a ****, let alone cruise the malls and parks. Basically, it seems I am sh!t out of luck here.

 

[sosousage]

What's that?

uh you dun know whatcha gurl is?


also, forget who are you messaging. old is a joke for 80% of men. doesnt matter if they from NYC or your neighbourhood. theyre all entirelly broken, entitled and OLD works in their favor.

actually you are better if you cant reach them, you dont waste nerves and time.

seriously girl from tinder is last person u want to spend time with, and probably the only reason is her vagaina

 

[StrayCat]

Yea, I am not sure what whatcha gurl is. I hate being on Match. I'm embarrassed. Never tried Tinder.

 

[sosousage]

Yea, I am not sure what whatcha gurl is. I hate being on Match. I'm embarrassed. Never tried Tinder.

yeah gurl is gal

 

[Spaz]

If you could hook up with women in cities then rural areas should not be a problem, in fact its easier in my experience.

Even in a small town of 7k there would be lots of women there.

 

[Trainwreck]

lmao that sounds like hell. Idk why people try to buy houses in these bfe ****holes because some fat Christian person on personal finance reddit or citydata convinced them because of “equity”. I lived up in some small ass town in an isolated plain state and it was about 90 miles from the nearest city. The logistics killed my dating life and it was really risky to drive 90 miles for a first meetup. Needless to say, I quit my job and moved back to Nashville after my lease ended in a heartbeat. However, you sir are screwed because you are buying a house. My advice is to just try and find a local woman there because dealing with women and logistics are a horrible mix.

 

[sosousage]

lmao that sounds like hell. Idk why people try to buy houses in these bfe ****holes because some fat Christian person on personal finance reddit or citydata convinced them because of “equity”. I lived up in some small ass town in an isolated plain state and it was about 90 miles from the nearest city. The logistics killed my dating life and it was really risky to drive 90 miles for a first meetup. Needless to say, I quit my job and moved back to Nashville after my lease ended in a heartbeat. However, you sir are screwed because you are buying a house. My advice is to just try and find a local woman there because dealing with women and logistics are a horrible mix.

there must be women but i believe they are low quality and taken.

on suburbs = no competition, they can be low quality

 

[Trainwreck]

there must be women but i believe they are low quality and taken.

on suburbs = no competition, they can be low quality

well he's **** out of luck lol

 

[fanatic22]

If you're unwilling to make a trip to a city and unwilling to go outside and talk to girls (even if it's just on weekends) then yes, you're screwed. But that's more to do with your attitude than your situation. I live 2 hours from NYC and drive there nearly every weekend while working on the very small number of girls locally. I've gone through several plates in both areas but it's been a consistent effort on my part. I plan to move to a city which will make my life much easier but I have definitely not been lacking in women. Change your mindset or sell your home.

 

[ImTheDoubleGreatest!]

Don’t listen to what anyone else tells you. Location matters, and it matters a great ****ing deal. I moved twice within 5 years and noticed an immediate difference between all of the places I lived at. They’re all sort of within the same general area, but too far to keep relationships with people. All I can tell you is that you either need to make a change (as in move somewhere else), or just deal with it (via celibacy or driving 45 minutes for some poon).

 

[StrayCat]

lmao that sounds like hell. Idk why people try to buy houses in these bfe ****holes because some fat Christian person on personal finance reddit or citydata convinced them because of “equity”. I lived up in some small ass town in an isolated plain state and it was about 90 miles from the nearest city. The logistics killed my dating life and it was really risky to drive 90 miles for a first meetup. Needless to say, I quit my job and moved back to Nashville after my lease ended in a heartbeat. However, you sir are screwed because you are buying a house. My advice is to just try and find a local woman there because dealing with women and logistics are a horrible mix.

Paid cash. It was a fixer upper and it looks amazing now. I did all the work myself with permits and town approval. House is worth more now that what I bought it for. Financially, it wasn't a bad deal, just fvcking wise.

 

[StrayCat]

yeah gurl is gal

Still have no idea what you mean.