"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

Read more...

Think C+F ruined chances with HB...

silverwex

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Just a quick summary.

Met a girl out last weekend, k&n closed her and went about my business.

Next day she text me:

HB: Remember me?

Silver: Which one were you again...?lol. :) Yeah, how are you? Did you leave a reminder on my phone?

(I had a reminder set for 4pm to 'TEXT HB' I think she may have put that in...)

HB: No, why would I do that?

Silver: Oh, ok no prob. So how was the party?

NO REPLY

A few hours later...

Silver: Wow, that good then was it!?

NO REPLY

Im gonna text her again tomorrow and thats the last time Im gonna try her. Heres what Im gonna say:

Silver: You dont talk much do you?! :) So you go out in town much?

I think the fact that I asked her (jokingly) 'Which one were you again?' may have fvcked up my chances.

Either that or shes outta credit.

If nothing happens thats fine as Ill just replace her next weekend with someone better looking/personality.

Any thoughts?
 

"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"

I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.

The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.

Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.

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Nighthawk

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You shouldn't have texted her before getting a response. She may be busy, or more likely testing you for desperation. One more text and you'll be dead meat.
 

silverwex

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Ah fvck it man, Im just gonna try it again and if it doesnt work out, it doesnt work out. Nothing to lose and Ill do better this weekend anyway.

I suppose it just something to keep me busy with til Saturday rolls around! :)
 

Jariel

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Hey Silverwex,

I think your text would be fine with a lot of women, but some women would take it the wrong way - especially in a text where they can't sense the joke in your voice tone - and judging by her humourless reply, she doesn't seem the type to get it. I took a girl like this on a date once, and she took my neghits as me making fun of her. People tell me she's a bit high strung and sensitive.

Anyway, the fact that she text you first implies she's interested for sure. However, I agree with Nighthawk it's always a mistake to text back before a response. She might be playing cool (even my gf does it with me and I to her) and I think you need to play it the same way.

Absolutely DO NOT text her now until she replies. Nothing kills high interest quicker than desperation. Then if/when she does, make her wait several hours to a day for your reply. Generally, just take it slow.

When we first met, my gf and I only text each other a few times a week, sometimes taking a day or two to reply to a question. We only started having more contact after we met a few more times and got more familiar.
 

S0LID

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GUYS, listen! ****y and funny needs to be vibe calibrated!!

If she's laughing her ass off, and you say calm down your cramping my style, you may pull it off.

If shes just talking and you bust out that line she may hate you.
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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TheTrader

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i agree the C+F can only applied when people are in rapport. in your situation i would delete her number, if she texts you back then add her number again and give her a second chance:D
 

\O/

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Any LSE-girl who doesn't know your style would respond badly (or not at all) to a comment like that...
 

Mr_knowit_all

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You guys care too much about what the girl thinks. You made a joke, so what? If she doesn't get it...who cares? Women get off on playing Ms Pouty pants. Don't text her again.
 

Alfie Crew

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C&F is hard to pull off with a text depending on the girl. And I wouldn't text her again there is no need to.
 

SamePendo

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Don't send messages that are likely to be ignored. Call her and ask her out, if that's your plan, if it's not, NEXT that ass out.
 

"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."

Attraction runs on a clock.

She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.

The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."

One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.

Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.

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Distant Light

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Originally posted by TheTrader
i agree the C+F can only applied when people are in rapport. in your situation i would delete her number, if she texts you back then add her number again and give her a second chance:D
???

u got it all wrong C&F is done only to gain attraction you should have stopped the C&f after you got that number, i think u were over doing the C&F.
 

silverwex

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thanks for the replies guys.

Good points.

Hold on for one second...there, just deleted her no so theres no way I can text her now even if I wanted to lol.
 

Dublinsfinest

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Originally posted by silverwex
thanks for the replies guys.

Good points.

Hold on for one second...there, just deleted her no so theres no way I can text her now even if I wanted to lol.
This is one of the most AFC threads I've seen in a while.

RING HER!

Stop mentally masturbating about texts. RING!
 

silverwex

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This is one of the most AFC threads I've seen in a while.

RING HER!

Stop mentally masturbating about texts. RING!
AFC? Me? Never! :)

Seriously, dublinsfinest, you know how it is over here - girls give you their nos initally so you TEXT them - ringing seems a bit 'weird' especially if its the first time you contacting them.

Argue that all you want but thats the way its down here in the SE anyway...

Oh and after that 'text episode' you want me to ring her? Isnt THAT AFC...? I dont have her no anymore anyway lol.
 

dirtycm

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I'm gonna add that ****y and funny can really cause problems somtimes. I am dating this smokin' 34 yr japanese chick, and sometimes when I try ****y funny to keep it interesting, she interprets it wrong and thinks Im being a jerk. Some might say its a language thing, but I just think that her and many woman just don't get CnF the same way we do.

As for your text issue, at this point why not write back and try. The line has already gone slack and you have nothing to lose. I just wouldn't put too much investment mentally into this one...-dirtycm
 

"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

Read more...

silverwex

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Yeah I think Ive been taking C+F way too far recently since REALLY getting into the whole PUA scene.

I think some girls are actually starting to dislike me a lot because of this - so Im gonna be nice(er) to them this weekened if I see 'em! :)

As stated already dirtycm, I deleted her no but i think I remember it (I only have to read a number once to remember it - weird!) so its 50/50 as whether to text or not. lol.
 

Jariel

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Originally posted by silverwex
Yeah I think Ive been taking C+F way too far recently since REALLY getting into the whole PUA scene.
Have a browse over this thread by Shezzler. There are some good points and good replies!

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?s=&threadid=94747

But don't focus too much on your c+f ruining your game here as I don't think it did. I think it was just the wrong type of girl to use it on and no reflection on you.
 
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