Things my gf said....

[golazen12]

im new but i have been reading this forum for a while... so i decided to join.

my situation: We are both in late 20's and together for little more then a year.
So we were out celebrating new year and she was drunk... I heard her say some stuff that really made me think.

She was talking to one of my friends and i do not know the whole story but she said that her priorities are like that 'girl friends FIRST, boyfriend (me) second'... the thing is that i actually figured that out pretty soon into relationship and thought she needs little more time to fall for me but it hasnt changed much. For an example - there were many occasions when she rather spent her time with her girl friends (having drinks or a ladies night out) then with me.The other thing that hurt me much worse is that she said to my friend that she wants to have a baby in the next 2 years and Im gonna be a father or someone else will be.

I mean after hearing this I feel like Im completely unimportant as a person/boyfriend - just a mean to her end, just a tool for her desires... And we have never even discussed topic like that before.
And from time to time im feeling and Im pretty certain that she doesnt give a s**t what i want, my desires and wishes are unimportant and disposable... its like she is so self centered she doesnt actually see that or she does and is just plain selfish...

Are those statements in your opinion strange or am I overreacting? its like she is settling for 'Mr good enough' and is not really into me as a person - im thinking like that because of the frequency of sex too. But its important for her to have a relationship and have me playing a role of a boyfriend on display for her family and friends when it suits her... and dont ask me about the sex. she is not into it and Im getting it like twice a month (we do not live together). She always find something more appealing to do when she is invited or she she needs some convincing to come. You are asking me I m staying with her right? Because I do not have relationship experiences and because she is my 1st longterm/serious gf. I cant let her go. Beside that she is affectionate with me when we are together - she often initiates dates (when it suits HER of course), we hear each other every day, she initiates hand holding and kissing, buying me stuff from time to time, paying for dinner like half the time when we are eating out, etc... dont know what to do.

Any experiences regarding this topic?

 

[Rainman4707]

Her comment "Im gonna be a father or someone else will be." dose'nt make her sound like suitable LTR.

You should see other girls & when you find her replacement dump her.

Your mentality of I can't let her go is wrong. You need to believe that you're better than that!

 

[Glumix]

You are not overreacting. Your reaction is normal.

What she said is only the trigger that makes you come here.
You already knew deep inside that the relationship was broken.

Build yourself a life so that you have many other things to do, you know, like she does.
You have to retake the dominant position. You set dates otherwise she does not see you anymore.
If she sets the date, you say NO, sorry Hon, I am busy, we see each other some other time.
This will create a full 180° in your behavior so prepare for the confrontation because there will be one.

Stop asking for seks.
Double the dose of condoms when you have seks.
Seks is not enough. She has to be willing to give you seks!

Affectionate is NOT enough. She has to be respectful!

You are currently a beta puppy she uses to achieve her life's imperative.
Do a check-up of your self-worth. What are your life's imperative? Don't you think that you could have some?

 

[grayclif]

So we were out celebrating new year and she was drunk...

En Vino Veritas - a Latin statement which means "In wine, truth".

 

[hithard]

Run and don't look back. This relationship is a waste of time. You want to wake up at 60 from this miserable existence and realize you wasted your life.
Not only does this piece of trash treat you bad, but she will erode your confidence as a man. And turn you into a "Yes Dear" zombie.
You also have to deal with all the bitterness from her friends while the scheme up ways to make your life miserable.

Right now the above may sound over the top. But give it a few years and it will probably be worse. You deserve to be treated as 'the man'. Grab your nuts and be proud and don't give this biatch the satisfaction of grinding you down.

 

[Tictac]

You can't let her go?

Bullsh*t.

Can't and won't are two different things.

You choose. So cut the crap.

 

[golazen12]

look i know its fuc*ed up but i do have feelings for her. you do understand she is my 1st gf and that im unexperienced right?

btw tnx for all replies

 

[NSX-R]

Ooh she hurt your feelings? What a shame. Do you still sleep along with your teddy bear at night?

Man up you dumb@$$. You are an afc . That chick is full of red flags.
Go read the dj bible to come into your senses.

 

[YawataNoKami]

Step 1 : Go to the closest mall.
Step 2 : Sit. Pretend you are reading or doing something with you iphone, tablet or whatever.
Step 3 : Watch carefully those men in that mall. The emptiness in their eyes while carrying bags or babies. Out of shape , hopeless , consumed.Take a good look.
Step 4 : Take a look at yourself because those men at the mall are you in 4 years when she "ooopppppsss" you.

 

[Bible_Belt]

For the millionth time, taking a woman's words seriously leads to problems.

I think of it as the Vaginal Prerogative - the right to say any stupid thing she wants, while I nod my head, because I know I'm going to fvck her later.

That rule is paramount in all conversations with women. I don't argue or disagree, and I don't make far-reaching extrapolations that attach far too much value to drunken bimbo babble.

 

[AttackFormation]

As usual, I only comment in this forum section when I'm certain I can add something valuable despite my age. And I tell you this. There is a plague in this world which appeared in the 20th century, destroying the futures of children, driving fathers to depression and suicide and capsizing female happiness. It does this by killing families and it is called Third Wave Feminism. This engineered disease created in the West for that express purpose of the family's death, this scourge of the future must be cured, fought and destroyed with the utmost of urgency.

These kinds of women are half the reason why we have so many wasted and broken childhoods today which has lasting, grave consequences into adulthood. Not just mere psychological comfort but in terms of education, income, incarceration rates, drug abuse, a host of stuff, children who grow up without a father are screwed. My childhood was the product of irresponsible parents. These women don't give a sh!t about you OR their children. Some demonstrate it even with words (like your woman), some state they do care but their actions are careless, selfish and destructive (like getting kids with a sh!t father and/or divorcing the father). The reason why she wants kids is not because she cares about you or because she wants to invest in her kids to make them the best they can be and will love them. The reason why is that she wants to be a mother.

I re-iterate. Many women don't care about who their children will turn into. They say they do, but they don't. It is a weakness of character. The future of their children is secondary to them compared to their own whims and comforts. That woman is such a person and you should not be with such a disrespectful woman, let alone have kids with her. You'll be miserable, and watch your kids grow up to be dysfunctional when she divorces you. Then after she has taken them she will turn them against you and everything will be your fault (in her and the brainwashed childrens' minds and objectively because you didn't take our advice).

Stop crying and snivelling like a freaking little baby about WAAAAH this is my first ltr, WAAAAH she gives me the time of day so I love her, WAAAAAAAAAAAAAH. You already know what I said is the truth and you admit more things yourself that I haven't brought up in this post, because I wanted to focus on the most important part. So when are you gonna act? when are you gonna realise, you do have a pair of balls! At least I hope so - what you say in your own ego's defense after you admit she treats you like sh!t and is a bad woman casts doubt on it, maybe you're castrated? being a man was too much for you?

Dump her @ss hard and never form a relationship with women like this again. And when you have sex with these women, make sure she actually is taking birth prevention and check for holes in condoms.

 

[golazen12]

i think my main problems are - that im unexperienced, she is my 1st, she is hot and i dont have any game... at the same time my gut feeling is telling me something is not right. because it isnt!

you guys are right. ill take your advices. tnx for your time and support!

 

[grayclif]

i think my main problems are - that im unexperienced, she is my 1st, she is hot and i dont have any game... at the same time my gut feeling is telling me something is not right. because it isnt!

you guys are right. ill take your advices. tnx for your time and support!

You'll never dump your first piece of puzzy.

 

[NSX-R]

You'll never dump your first piece of puzzy.

Haha that's fcking true. I'm glad i was one of the rare exceptions.

 

[sodbuster]

She's not that into you. She has girls nights out to look for a better man, but if not, she has you on the string. Sex only 2 times a MONTH? I did better with my ex wife right up until she filed for Divorce. Your girl isn't even PRETENDING to like sex with you.....

 

[Glumix]

Haha that's fcking true. I'm glad i was one of the rare exceptions.

I did that too. Even dumped her twice. Then I turned into a complete AFC and she dumped me thrice. Good first LTR, very enlightening.

 

[NSX-R]

I did that too. Even dumped her twice. Then I turned into a complete AFC and she dumped me thrice. Good first LTR, very enlightening.

I know of a guy that broke up and went again together with a chick for 7 times.

 

[Glumix]

I know of a guy that broke up and went again together with a chick for 7 times.

I feel much better now. Thank you !

 

[Atom Smasher]

You are not overreacting. Your reaction is normal.
Stop asking for seks.
Double the dose of condoms when you have seks.
Seks is not enough. She has to be willing to give you seks!

Affectionate is NOT enough. She has to be respectful!

Just a note: You can type "sex" here.

 

[Colossus]

Agree with all the above.

There are more female sociopaths now than in any point in human history. This girl does not give one TRUE fvck about you , OP. If you can dump your first gf you truly will have a huge set of balls and this decision will positively impact you for years to come.