Things got weird (girl with bf)

Conscious

Don Juan
Joined
Aug 5, 2004
Messages
24
Reaction score
0
Location
Richmond, VA
I had oneitis before, when I was an AFC. But I think this is different. This time there is solid ground for a relationship.

To make a long story short, there is a girl with a boyfriend of 3 years who goes to college 800 miles away. Recently I've been at the top of my DJ game, and for the last 2 months she has been all over me.

Over the past 3 weeks we've gone out on 3 dates. During each of these dates I give the time of her life. She calls me all the time, always wants to go out and seem me, everyone at school thinks we are a couple, etc. I do everything right, keep phone convos to 5 minutes, keep the DJ mindset, etc. And after our last date she told me how her boyfriend was boring and not fun, “there.. I said it, he is just good for sex everyone once in a while.” And with most other cases, I didn’t let her discuss her boyfriend any further.

Now I firmly believe that she is LTR material. That's what I want with her. And after our last date she wanted to hook up, but I kept my distance because she has a boyfriend.

2 days afterwards the boyfriend came back from college and now is with her all the time. She still makes an effort to talk to me, but I've really cut back talking to her. All of a sudden it just seems so weird between the both of us, like the boyfriend is the elephant in the living room. I really want a relationship from her and I am almost certain she was going to break it off with him, but she seems like a different person after this weekend. She seems almost sad, almost like she misses me. And I’m beginning to feel the same.

So what would be the best path for me to take, the best attitude around her, assuming that I want to stay with it?
 

I-am-someone

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Nov 30, 2004
Messages
477
Reaction score
2
Age
39
Location
the Netherlands
If she wants you, she wants you. The boyfriend has probably already noticed a decrease in her interest towards him and is probably doing the exact opposite of what he's supposed to be doing, making her even less attracted towards him.

The best thing you could possibly do is to just act the same around her. You should ask her out right now and hook up with her, make your intentions clear. She's not going to say no, you seem to know she wants you more than him. Doesn't really matter how you do it, judging by the way you said you two hang out together. She's probably just waiting for you to finally do it, so do it before the boyfriend realizes he's gonna lose her and begins to work for her attention again.

Just let it all flow the way it should. Sounds like nature is on your side ;)
 

Conscious

Don Juan
Joined
Aug 5, 2004
Messages
24
Reaction score
0
Location
Richmond, VA
I would prefer for her to break it up with him first. If she cheats on him what would stop her from doing the same to me?
 

I-am-someone

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Nov 30, 2004
Messages
477
Reaction score
2
Age
39
Location
the Netherlands
I don't know... you maybe? :D

As soon as you go to college 800 miles away, you might have to worry about her breaking up with you. I doubt you're going to do that, so right now you're quite simply better for her than the other guy.

Just because she leaves someone else to be with you does not mean she's going to leave you as well. She has a good reason to leave the other guy, as long as you don't let that happen you're safe.
 

I-am-someone

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Nov 30, 2004
Messages
477
Reaction score
2
Age
39
Location
the Netherlands
Oh, great. So then let's just pray to god that she brings up the courage to break up with her current boyfriend without you even speaking to her on a regular basis.

Come on, just do it and ignore people that think like Bussey - do not overanalyze. Act according to your feelings instead, it will get you where you want to be. If you wait for the perfect moment, you could be waiting for a long time.
 

Bussey

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Dec 8, 2004
Messages
376
Reaction score
4
Location
Toronto
Im just saying. Precedents are just that.

Don't necessarily shape the future, but you gotta remembe em.!
 

AC/DC

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jul 16, 2003
Messages
1,276
Reaction score
3
Age
36
Location
hyphy bay area, ca
Originally posted by Bussey
Im just saying. Precedents are just that.

Don't necessarily shape the future, but you gotta remembe em.!
lol what the hell?

What up Conscious... believe it not, I had a similar situation. This one girl with a boyfriend in college just kinda started talking to me one day over the internet. I eventually got her to make out with me (yeah I know it's not much but hey, better than nothing)

Talk to her about it! You can make this happen, but don't let your ambitions cloud your thoughts.
 

I-am-someone

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Nov 30, 2004
Messages
477
Reaction score
2
Age
39
Location
the Netherlands
Is this "so soon" then?
Don't you already know her quite well?
You said you gave her the time of her life on three different dates, that sounds like enough evidence to take action (depending on your definition of "time of her life").

Ofcourse I'm not you. If you intend to chicken out and regret that you did later on, be my guest.
 
Joined
Nov 16, 2004
Messages
366
Reaction score
0
Originally posted by Conscious
What about using some ganji (stop showing interest) tactics?
THATS NOT WHAT GANJI IS
OMFGGGGGGGGG
ganji is disspearing literally
NOT ignoring som1 when their right there or nearby, or see u on street,
learn sumthing !:mad:
 

Jerky Boi

Master Don Juan
Joined
Feb 10, 2004
Messages
554
Reaction score
0
Okay, I know some of you probably don't share the same opinions as me, but anyways, I wouldn't necessarily try and get with her just yet. She still has a boyfriends(argh, there goes those morals again).


Either way, keep treating her the same. From what you've said, it's working, so why stop?
 
Top