"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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They'll talk about their dating life, but...

Leashed

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Had a short fling with a girl a few years back before she left overseas for work. We had crazy strong chemistry then, but decided with her job there was really no point of keeping much contact because it'd be best to move on and find somebody else.

She recently got back, and nothing's changed. Still an awesome girl, we still click, and we still have fun together.

Getting to the point here, we've both had our share of relationships in the last few years. She'll openly and at times excessively talk about hers, but not want to hear a word about any of mine. I've got a vague idea of what this means, but looking for some clarification/validation, and wondering what you guys think.

She's gone again at the end of the summer, which sucks, but I kinda prefer random hookups haha. Less draining on the emotional side.
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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IBreatheSpears

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I'd guess talking about her relationships is ****-testing to see if you'll be an emotional tampon for her. Not wanting to hear about yours maybe means she's a bit jealous. What do you think?
 

Willard

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My last girlfriend would talk about her previous relationships, I told her I don't like hearing about them, I didn't want to imagine her with anyone else. She said sorry and didn't bring them up again. A couple of times after I would talk about an ex she would say we have an agreement about not talking about it, So I stopped. Problem solved. The girl I'm seeing now, doesn't talk about her exes at all, and I don't ask, she asked about my last girlfriend, I told her about her, she even asked to see a picture of her, I showed her a pic of us together, she said I looked cute, nothing about the girl. I'm kind of glad she asked to see a pic, because even though the current girl is a lot more attractive the ex is still very attractive, I think she knows I only date attractive women now.
 

Leashed

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I totally agree that past relationships should stay in the past within a settled relationship. What makes it tricky is the fact we're not exclusively in one together. Obviously feelings and the hope for the chance for it is there, but it isn't feasible.

I'll mostly bring things up after she brings her history up to gauge her reaction.

I personally think it's a test, to see if she can rattle me, it doesn't work, but it seems like she gets easily rattled with hearing my experiences.
 

Bokanovsky

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Leashed said:
Getting to the point here, we've both had our share of relationships in the last few years. She'll openly and at times excessively talk about hers, but not want to hear a word about any of mine. I've got a vague idea of what this means, but looking for some clarification/validation, and wondering what you guys think.
You instinct is correct. She does not want a relationship with you.
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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nismo-4

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Your princess is in another castle. But she doesn't mind the attention you give her.

Case closed.
 

VladPatton

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I'm on Bokanovsky and nismo's wavelength. Why the fück are you even hanging with this girl if you ain't bustin nuts in her??? So you can her about how other guys banged her? How she liked swallowing loads from her last bf? Come on, man. All this cὀckteasing and she'll leave in a few months. What's in it for you? Are you just content that a cute girl is giving you the time of day? She gives such niceness to waiters and bank tellers, too.

This, at best, is a complete time waster for you.

I hope you'll see the light on this soon.
 

Leashed

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I've been fvcking her. Plenty and often. Trust me, I wouldn't be around if I wasn't.
 

Leashed

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Leashed said:
Still an awesome girl, we still click, and we still have fun together.
Next time I'll be a little clearer on the 'have fun' part, didn't think you guys would misconstrue that with playing checkers or doing crosswords together.
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

Read more...

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