There is no way in HELL that "divorce rate" is only 50%

[Kailex]

I am willing to bet that it is not 50% of "all" marriages end in divorce, I think it is more like 100% of MODERN marriages end in divorce.

100%?
Really?

That's way too much of an absolute for me.

 

[zekko]

So why did you get divorced after 10 years? Was it the marriage deteriorating year after year or did it suddenly get bad?

I wasn't married for 10 years. The relationship was 10 years, we were married for six. The last year was pure hell. Up until then it was fine. Basically we weren't getting along, we were arguing all the time. Irreconcileable differences I guess you'd call it.

Somewhere around the five year point she seemed to change. I actually think she went a little crazy (there were others who agreed with me). She suddenly became very controlling, making unreasonable demands about who I could talk to and what I could or couldn't do. Being a man of self respect, I did not give in to these demands because I considered them unfair. Which only made her more hysterical. Reasoning with her did no good.

We began to argue constantly. She yelled at me, and if I yelled back then of course I was "being abusive". I was willing to compromise and take my share of the blame. But from her point of view, she was responsible for nothing. Everything was 100% my fault, and she was a blameless victim. That's what really frustrated me.

So when she left, it was a great relief. I had already gone through all the grief and pain. Had I been on SoSuave at the time, I would have known it was pointless to argue with a woman. But even if I hadn't given in to arguing with her, I don't think it would have helped, because I was just so frustrated with her behavior.

I'm still not entirely sure what happened to cause the change. I suppose that part of her had been there all along, hidden, but I never say it coming. Maybe she had a breakdown of some sort. Going into the marriage I was totally sure I had found the right one. But I guess you never really know.

 

[5string]

zekko...for what it's worth, I'm sorry for what you went through. But glad you landed on your feet. Good job. That stuff hurts, and sometimes it can be really hard to recover.

 

[5string]

she got half of everything despite the fact that she made about 1/4 what I did. Ouch! A very raw deal.

Ouch indeed!

AND, she got to collect more money from the job that she surely maintained after she divorced you.

That's why SMART women get married...often! For most women, a marriage represents financial security, and a divorce represents even MORE financial security because it's going to be the biggest financial windfall of her entire life!

Actually, she got laid off of her job a few weeks after the divorce was final. It did hurt like I said. Lost half of everything despite raising her 2 kids and putting them through college. I was an awesome stepdad.

 

[DMSR76]

she got half of everything despite the fact that she made about 1/4 what I did. Ouch! A very raw deal. Actually, she got laid off of her job a few weeks after the divorce was final. It did hurt like I said. Lost half of everything despite raising her 2 kids and putting them through college. I was an awesome stepdad.

Curious... Do the kids keep in contact with you? I wonder what their take was on the situation.