"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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The Waitress

tomyv

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Hello gentleman, I used to post here but haven't been around lately. For the last month or so I've been taking a break from women in general to catch up on my house and career.

BUT

I go out to dinner to the same restaraunt about once a week with a few friends. The waitress is always making eye contact, smiling, etc. My friends (male and female) notice it, and tell me constantly "that girl likes you."

This is all well and good but I go by the rule that if it's a waitress/bartender don't bother because they are paid to be nice.

What do you guys think, should I break the rule?
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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GirlCrazy

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What do you have to lose? Worst she can do is say no, or maybe burn your food.
 

tomyv

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Good point, that's what I am thinking, probably would have pulled the trigger but like I said, I"ve been on "sabitical" for a few.
 

Kenturkey

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trial by fire.

There's only one way to tell if she's being nice because she wants tips, or if she wants your, um, 'tip'. :) Ya gotta ask.

If you think she might be interested based on her body language, I'd try to catch her off away from the table and your friends. Just say something like, "hey, i've noticed you the past couple times i've been here. I couldn't help but wonder if you're single."

She can answer however she wants. If she's interested, she'll be more than impressed enough by the fact that you made the effort to chat her up.

If you have no idea if she's interested, you can always play some flirty games with her at the table. See how she reacts.

Or, you can always leave a business card with your tip. Write something on the back like "Hey <her name> it's hard to start a conversation with all these people around. I'd love to talk to ya sometime tho. Give me a call at <your number>"

There's nothing to lose. Everything to gain.

Chris
 

GirlCrazy

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Years ago I used to be embarrassed about being rejected in front of my friends. Now I know better. Having the balls to make a move is never anything to be ashamed of.

Maybe it's time for you to go "back on the clock" :cheer:
 

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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thesynergist

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Had a buddy in with a similar situation some time ago at a Perkins. He eventually strapped em' on one night and approached her away from the table.

She shot him down, saying she had a boyfriend. HOWEVER, from that point on she was seriously cool every time we went back. She always seemed happy to see us and it was kind of like the two of them had this inside joke going. I'd say you got nothing to lose.
 

nosexbox

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Waitresses are "on" ALL the time. They know that the more they flirt, the more tips they make. This makes reading them very difficult.

Myself being terrible at reading signs, it's almost impossible for me. I don't even bother.
 

nosexbox

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Well, true. But I get stressed out and hate being rejected. Why throw myself into situations where my likelihood of being shot down is higher than normal?
 

thesynergist

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Well, true. But I get stressed out and hate being rejected. Why throw myself into situations where my likelihood of being shot down is higher than normal?
So you won't hate rejection. So it won't stress you out. So you'll seize golden but challenging opportunities instead of standing still and watching them walk away untested.
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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Francisco d'Anconia

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Originally posted by NewMan
If you don't bother, you'll never learn.

The glass is half full - remember.
:up:
 

Francisco d'Anconia

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Originally posted by nosexbox
Well, true. But I get stressed out and hate being rejected. Why throw myself into situations where my likelihood of being shot down is higher than normal?
Out of curiosity, what other experiences do you avoid in your life? I mean life is no where near perfect and it's hard to imagine that you do not engage anything that isn't a sure thing; or do you just lock yourself in your house each day?
 
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