"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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The "Unattainable" Reputation...

swingdaddy

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I was just given some information/feedback from a friend/acquaintance that I am not sure if it is a good or bad thing... it could be both.

The thing is, I have pretty high standards. As an example, an 8 or 9 to most other guys is probably a 7 or 8 to me, and so on. I'm also not a horn-dog that needs to get laid everyday, so my game isn't focused around that nor do I "settle" for the 7 when I could be gaming that 8, if you know what I mean. But I'm wondering if this is starting to bite me in the ass. I'll explain to you what was said to me and then you can let me know what you think.

First a brief background: I'm very busy with school, and my current major and classes have me spending a lot of time with fellow majors, as we all take the same classes at this point. It's kind of like when you start a new job, and start hanging out with people from that job -- I hang out a lot with people in my department. As much as I enjoy getting out and gaming other people, often times because of my schedule, I game mostly people within my department. This isn't bad, as I spend a lot of time with ballet dancers and they are a bunch of hotties. But the point being, when you spend time with the same people, you start to develop "reputations" that are vital in good and bad ways, that don't hold any value when you are around completely new people and what not.

Anyway. Case in point: If you've read my previous post, you know that I was at a big party last night. I actually wasn't even gaming that hard, but it was flowing left and right beautifully. Got a few numbers and a basic hook-up out of the night. Well, I just talked to that person I mentioned above, and she brought up the fact that I am "unattainable." At first this struck me as odd, but I urged her to continue and how she came to this conclusion. She says, "Well after talking with people last night, you've gained the reputation as the "unattainable guy" in the department. Quite honestly I was taken aback for a bit, but it makes sense; I'm not a "player" and I don't sleep around, or like I said, settle. And there have been a few girls in the department that were clearly interested in me, either on their own accord, or after I gamed them for a bit... all of which I decided not to continue with because I was no longer interested for one reason or another.

Now this "unattainable" reputation could hold good or bad weight, or both, from how I see it. For starters, it is a testament to my high standards -- I'm not just hooking up with any old girl. At the same time though, maybe I am TOO unattainable, and girls hate that s***, as if it's too hard to win you then they give up early.

What do you guys think? I'm not about to go sleep around or try to "change" this reputation or whatever as all I'm doing is being "me," the authentic me. But at the same time I'm wondering if I should lighten up a bit so people don't view me in such a way that they don't even bother with me, if ya know what I mean.

Your thoughts!
 

“The 22 Rules That Flip the Script With Women… And How You Can Use Them Tonight”

Most guys accidentally kill attraction before they even speak. They assume they need a bigger bank account, a better physique, or smoother lines. They miss the point.

Female desire operates on a specific set of psychological triggers.  Break them, and you're invisible. Follow them, and you become magnetic.

I learned this the hard way. Years of freezing up. Getting friend-zoned. Watching other guys walk away with the girl I wanted. Then I discovered a set of 22 simple rules that rewired my entire approach.

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Fuglydude

Master Don Juan
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Sounds like to me you're looking for an LTR with a high quality woman. I think this is what most guys want in the end anyways...

She obviously thinks you're a high quality guy. Based on your post, you seem to be intelligent and driven, which many women place a very high value on.

Instead of overanalyzing your reputation, go out and have fun with it, and use it boost your confidence and game to get the girl(s) you want...If you have high standards with women, then you should apply the same high standards to yourself...and you obviously have a pretty good start on this. Instead of overanalyzing it, pursue whatever makes you happy.

my 2 cents.
 

HK1

Don Juan
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Ok, so you have high standards. Good, but it also seems to me that you just might be thinking too much of this.

Have fun and dont worry about it.
 
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