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The Ultimate Test: Her Rejecting You

bigneil

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Women are always testing us. There is no greater test to our mettle than her rejecting us. Why? Because she has rejected countless poor souls before us, and she has become familiar with the following.

What NOT to do:

1) Men crying.
2) Men begging.
3) Men calling her a "see you next Tuesday" (see Sopranos for example).
4) Men revealing her flaws "Oh yeah? Well I always hated your tattoos!"
5) Men sulking.
6) Men promising to change.
7) Men asking if they are attractive (while looking at the floor).
8) Men blowing up her phone.

(Enumerate yours here).


What to do?

1) Say "I guess that's it for us".
2) Say "It was fun when it lasted".
3) Say "I was good to you" (ideally you will mean it).
4) Say "You are attracted to me" (while looking her in the eye).
5) Say nothing and walk away.

(Enumerate yours here).
 

Infern0

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bigneil said:
Women are always testing us. There is no greater test to our mettle than her rejecting us. Why? Because she has rejected countless poor souls before us, and she has become familiar with the following.

What NOT to do:

1) Men crying.
2) Men begging.
3) Men calling her a "see you next Tuesday" (see Sopranos for example).
4) Men revealing her flaws "Oh yeah? Well I always hated your tattoos!"
5) Men sulking.
6) Men promising to change.
7) Men asking if they are attractive (while looking at the floor).
8) Men blowing up her phone.

(Enumerate yours here).


What to do?

1) Say "I guess that's it for us".
2) Say "It was fun when it lasted".
3) Say "I was good to you" (ideally you will mean it).
4) Say "You are attracted to me" (while looking her in the eye).
5) Say nothing and walk away.

(Enumerate yours here).
"Your loss, well give me a call when you change your mind"

/thread
 

bigneil

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"Your loss" is a key premise. That's why I am overly generous and ask for nothing in return (except complete submission on occasion).
 

Obsidian

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How is rejection a "test"? Are you implying that we should try to get her back?
 

bigneil

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Speculator E said:
I never liked using the "your loss" line. Sounds like butt-hurt to me.
To clarify, you should never say this to her directly, but this should be your attitude. In order for her to return, she has to stand to lose more than you, so be generous.
 

bigneil

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Obsidian said:
How is rejection a "test"? Are you implying that we should try to get her back?
Very few relationships do not involve one point of rejection. We learn to love through rejection, according to Robert Greene in Art of Seduction.

That said, you should never try to get her back if she rejects you. You must walk away and make her work to get you back, and work to make yourself better for all women.
 

Yewki

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Infern0 said:
"Your loss, well give me a call when you change your mind"

/thread
Meh, I don't know... comes off as bitter (shows you care) and tells her you'll take her back anytime (desperation)

And to say nothing and walk away... if in person, that's basically autistic. No. Over text, better but still shows you're butt hurt.

The best response is one where you're unaffected by the implications of the statement. No underlying bitterness, just casual acknowledgement as though discussing something of no consequence.

Most people here acknowledge this needs to be done but will fail at it because... they actually do care. A lot. And they're not great actors, so the girl sees through the act.
 

Infern0

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Yewki said:
Meh, I don't know... comes off as bitter (shows you care) and tells her you'll take her back anytime (desperation)

And to say nothing and walk away... if in person, that's basically autistic. No. Over text, better but still shows you're butt hurt.

The best response is one where you're unaffected by the implications of the statement. No underlying bitterness, just casual acknowledgement as though discussing something of no consequence.

Most people here acknowledge this needs to be done but will fail at it because... they actually do care. A lot. And they're not great actors, so the girl sees through the act.
The key is in the delivery, look them in the eye with a slight smirk and say it calmly. It really works and comes off pretty good
 

guru1000

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Often her rejecting you is your failure to read the signs of dissipating interest correctly. DJism is the ability recognize these signs early on and preemptively eject.

  • Has she gotten disrespectful?
  • Has she distanced herself?
  • Is her behavior incongruent with her words?
  • Has the tempo all-of-a-sudden slowed?
  • Has she gotten overly emotional over a matter which is frivolous?
  • Have the "terms of endearment" ceased?
  • Are you "not as funny" anymore?
  • Has her attitude gotten overly serious or less playful?

Inter alia ...

Heed the signs, and eject/take-a-break accordingly. You will not lose a girl by preemptively ejecting, but you will lose a girl by your callow disregard of her falling IL and her ejecting first.
 

Starwolf

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Heisenburger said:
'Yeah, cool. Take care'.

And never reply to her again.

:up:

except for the never reply to her again part.

always reply casually never hold a grudge.

don't hold entire conversations ..short polite and to the point.
 

Trump

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bigneil said:
Women are always testing us. There is no greater test to our mettle than her rejecting us. Why? Because she has rejected countless poor souls before us, and she has become familiar with the following.
1) If you are talking about rejection on the first encounter:

a) if she's nice, you say "that's too bad, I would have liked to get to know you."
b) if she's rude, you say nothing and walk away.

2) If you are talking about a relationship:

The better question would be: Why is she not feeling you anymore? What changed from the red hot passion at the initial stage of seeing each other to the boring, same, monotonous stage? It's your job to keep her interest, to make her excited, to make her realize she has a good thing.

No girl in her right mind would walk away from a good thing.
 

GS750

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Starwolf said:
:up:

except for the never reply to her again part.

always reply casually never hold a grudge.

don't hold entire conversations ..short polite and to the point.
Depends. If I get the feeling that she's just using me for attention or trying to keep me as a backup, I'll cut her off and ignore. No sense in being strung along.
 

Yewki

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Infern0 said:
The key is in the delivery, look them in the eye with a slight smirk and say it calmly. It really works and comes off pretty good
This is true, delivery is key. Texting some of this stuff might not work, but in person it can.
 

bigneil

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My most recent rejection was the BPD variety (which I confess meant her attraction level to me was not sufficient).

She met me for dinner Friday, came back to my hotel, I pulled her hair, she got 99% naked and after my best 30 minutes with her in 3 months of dating, with her panties half off she randomly freaked out over some minor word (her own first name when she goes by her middle name) and said "You want to see my Bipolar side?" in a voice from The Exorcist. She tried to then say she never cared about me, and asked "what makes you think I ever liked you?" But I just opened the door and said "Are you ready to go?".

There is an article called Hurt people hurt people. Remember that when people say mean things, it means they were hurt in the past and never healed. The only way to heal is to love the people you hate, otherwise you spread the hate. Most guys would have told her off but you should only say words that increase their interest level, or nothing at all. For these types, feel bad for them, have compassion, but get the hell away, at least until they work to get you back. And build a thick skin to historic rejections.
 
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bigneil said:
My most recent rejection was the BPD variety (which I confess meant her attraction level to me was not sufficient).

She met me for dinner Friday, came back to my hotel, I pulled her hair, she got 99% naked and after my best 30 minutes with her in 3 months of dating, with her panties half off she randomly freaked out over some minor word (her own first name when she goes by her middle name) and said "You want to see my Bipolar side?" in a voice from The Exorcist. She tried to then say she never cared about me, and asked "what makes you think I ever liked you?" But I just opened the door and said "Are you ready to go?".

There is an article called Hurt people hurt people. Remember that when people say mean things, it means they were hurt in the past and never healed. The only way to heal is to love the people you hate, otherwise you spread the hate. Most guys would have told her off but you should only say words that increase their interest level, or nothing at all. For these types, feel bad for them, have compassion, but get the hell away, at least until they work to get you back. And build a thick skin to historic rejections.
Those where some intense comments she made... Thing about it is if it really mattered to you whether she liked you or not, then they might have hurt your pride and ego a bit. You due to all your experience in the "field" knew exactly what was going on and it didn't bother your ego or confidence in the least.
 
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