"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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The Ultimate Test: Her Rejecting You

bigneil

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Women are always testing us. There is no greater test to our mettle than her rejecting us. Why? Because she has rejected countless poor souls before us, and she has become familiar with the following.

What NOT to do:

1) Men crying.
2) Men begging.
3) Men calling her a "see you next Tuesday" (see Sopranos for example).
4) Men revealing her flaws "Oh yeah? Well I always hated your tattoos!"
5) Men sulking.
6) Men promising to change.
7) Men asking if they are attractive (while looking at the floor).
8) Men blowing up her phone.

(Enumerate yours here).


What to do?

1) Say "I guess that's it for us".
2) Say "It was fun when it lasted".
3) Say "I was good to you" (ideally you will mean it).
4) Say "You are attracted to me" (while looking her in the eye).
5) Say nothing and walk away.

(Enumerate yours here).
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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Infern0

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bigneil said:
Women are always testing us. There is no greater test to our mettle than her rejecting us. Why? Because she has rejected countless poor souls before us, and she has become familiar with the following.

What NOT to do:

1) Men crying.
2) Men begging.
3) Men calling her a "see you next Tuesday" (see Sopranos for example).
4) Men revealing her flaws "Oh yeah? Well I always hated your tattoos!"
5) Men sulking.
6) Men promising to change.
7) Men asking if they are attractive (while looking at the floor).
8) Men blowing up her phone.

(Enumerate yours here).


What to do?

1) Say "I guess that's it for us".
2) Say "It was fun when it lasted".
3) Say "I was good to you" (ideally you will mean it).
4) Say "You are attracted to me" (while looking her in the eye).
5) Say nothing and walk away.

(Enumerate yours here).
"Your loss, well give me a call when you change your mind"

/thread
 

bigneil

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"Your loss" is a key premise. That's why I am overly generous and ask for nothing in return (except complete submission on occasion).
 

Obsidian

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How is rejection a "test"? Are you implying that we should try to get her back?
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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bigneil

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Speculator E said:
I never liked using the "your loss" line. Sounds like butt-hurt to me.
To clarify, you should never say this to her directly, but this should be your attitude. In order for her to return, she has to stand to lose more than you, so be generous.
 

bigneil

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Obsidian said:
How is rejection a "test"? Are you implying that we should try to get her back?
Very few relationships do not involve one point of rejection. We learn to love through rejection, according to Robert Greene in Art of Seduction.

That said, you should never try to get her back if she rejects you. You must walk away and make her work to get you back, and work to make yourself better for all women.
 

Yewki

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Infern0 said:
"Your loss, well give me a call when you change your mind"

/thread
Meh, I don't know... comes off as bitter (shows you care) and tells her you'll take her back anytime (desperation)

And to say nothing and walk away... if in person, that's basically autistic. No. Over text, better but still shows you're butt hurt.

The best response is one where you're unaffected by the implications of the statement. No underlying bitterness, just casual acknowledgement as though discussing something of no consequence.

Most people here acknowledge this needs to be done but will fail at it because... they actually do care. A lot. And they're not great actors, so the girl sees through the act.
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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Infern0

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Yewki said:
Meh, I don't know... comes off as bitter (shows you care) and tells her you'll take her back anytime (desperation)

And to say nothing and walk away... if in person, that's basically autistic. No. Over text, better but still shows you're butt hurt.

The best response is one where you're unaffected by the implications of the statement. No underlying bitterness, just casual acknowledgement as though discussing something of no consequence.

Most people here acknowledge this needs to be done but will fail at it because... they actually do care. A lot. And they're not great actors, so the girl sees through the act.
The key is in the delivery, look them in the eye with a slight smirk and say it calmly. It really works and comes off pretty good
 

guru1000

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Often her rejecting you is your failure to read the signs of dissipating interest correctly. DJism is the ability recognize these signs early on and preemptively eject.

  • Has she gotten disrespectful?
  • Has she distanced herself?
  • Is her behavior incongruent with her words?
  • Has the tempo all-of-a-sudden slowed?
  • Has she gotten overly emotional over a matter which is frivolous?
  • Have the "terms of endearment" ceased?
  • Are you "not as funny" anymore?
  • Has her attitude gotten overly serious or less playful?

Inter alia ...

Heed the signs, and eject/take-a-break accordingly. You will not lose a girl by preemptively ejecting, but you will lose a girl by your callow disregard of her falling IL and her ejecting first.
 

Starwolf

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Heisenburger said:
'Yeah, cool. Take care'.

And never reply to her again.

:up:

except for the never reply to her again part.

always reply casually never hold a grudge.

don't hold entire conversations ..short polite and to the point.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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Trump

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bigneil said:
Women are always testing us. There is no greater test to our mettle than her rejecting us. Why? Because she has rejected countless poor souls before us, and she has become familiar with the following.
1) If you are talking about rejection on the first encounter:

a) if she's nice, you say "that's too bad, I would have liked to get to know you."
b) if she's rude, you say nothing and walk away.

2) If you are talking about a relationship:

The better question would be: Why is she not feeling you anymore? What changed from the red hot passion at the initial stage of seeing each other to the boring, same, monotonous stage? It's your job to keep her interest, to make her excited, to make her realize she has a good thing.

No girl in her right mind would walk away from a good thing.
 

GS750

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Starwolf said:
:up:

except for the never reply to her again part.

always reply casually never hold a grudge.

don't hold entire conversations ..short polite and to the point.
Depends. If I get the feeling that she's just using me for attention or trying to keep me as a backup, I'll cut her off and ignore. No sense in being strung along.
 

Yewki

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Infern0 said:
The key is in the delivery, look them in the eye with a slight smirk and say it calmly. It really works and comes off pretty good
This is true, delivery is key. Texting some of this stuff might not work, but in person it can.
 

bigneil

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My most recent rejection was the BPD variety (which I confess meant her attraction level to me was not sufficient).

She met me for dinner Friday, came back to my hotel, I pulled her hair, she got 99% naked and after my best 30 minutes with her in 3 months of dating, with her panties half off she randomly freaked out over some minor word (her own first name when she goes by her middle name) and said "You want to see my Bipolar side?" in a voice from The Exorcist. She tried to then say she never cared about me, and asked "what makes you think I ever liked you?" But I just opened the door and said "Are you ready to go?".

There is an article called Hurt people hurt people. Remember that when people say mean things, it means they were hurt in the past and never healed. The only way to heal is to love the people you hate, otherwise you spread the hate. Most guys would have told her off but you should only say words that increase their interest level, or nothing at all. For these types, feel bad for them, have compassion, but get the hell away, at least until they work to get you back. And build a thick skin to historic rejections.
 
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bigneil said:
My most recent rejection was the BPD variety (which I confess meant her attraction level to me was not sufficient).

She met me for dinner Friday, came back to my hotel, I pulled her hair, she got 99% naked and after my best 30 minutes with her in 3 months of dating, with her panties half off she randomly freaked out over some minor word (her own first name when she goes by her middle name) and said "You want to see my Bipolar side?" in a voice from The Exorcist. She tried to then say she never cared about me, and asked "what makes you think I ever liked you?" But I just opened the door and said "Are you ready to go?".

There is an article called Hurt people hurt people. Remember that when people say mean things, it means they were hurt in the past and never healed. The only way to heal is to love the people you hate, otherwise you spread the hate. Most guys would have told her off but you should only say words that increase their interest level, or nothing at all. For these types, feel bad for them, have compassion, but get the hell away, at least until they work to get you back. And build a thick skin to historic rejections.
Those where some intense comments she made... Thing about it is if it really mattered to you whether she liked you or not, then they might have hurt your pride and ego a bit. You due to all your experience in the "field" knew exactly what was going on and it didn't bother your ego or confidence in the least.
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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