"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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The ultimate example of C&F (Video)

Eulogy

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"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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Omega

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Lmao that was NOT c/f, but hillariously funny none the less.
 

Eulogy

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Originally posted by R3N3GAD3
Lmao that was NOT c/f, but hillariously funny none the less.
Well, he didn't have it in his intentions to pick up the girl. All he wanted was a meat-free meal. :D

It's all good.
 

Dirtheart

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Nope, it was neither ****y nor (imo) funny, just some very obnoxious and irritating guys with nothing better to do.

Speaking as someone who has worked in retail, people like this who think they're being clever and funny get pretty annoying after the 100th time.
 

sunnyman

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those girls were definately digging the dude, though. and IMO, that was freaking hilarious... 8 minutes of that is quite impressive.

as for the guy who is in retail, I've never worked fast food, but I know that I'd be cracking up if somebody did that. Work can be dull and slow and boring as hell sometimes, and if you get the chance to have somebody brighten your day, then what's wrong with that?

I don't think these guys are making like Bam Margera's money or anything, so they probably just wanted to have fun, and the subway babes seemed to enjoy it.
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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