The Texting Revolution

[Janez]

Case closed. Lock the thread. Put it in the DJ bible.


(and someone might add "and ban the spammer" <D )

 

[ketostix]

There are a lot of points AGAINST texting that I don't deny.

Yeah and there's pros and cons with everything. There's drawbacks to calling too.

A lot of these drawbacks can also be advantages:

- It CAN be used as a buffer

A buffer is not always bad, I posted that in an another thread.

- It is impersonal and some of the info can be lost

Sometimes impersonal and vagueness is good. It creates a wanting or insentive in the girl to fill the void with in person contact.

- It can be seen by women as a "chump move" in some cases

But that's all in how you go about it. Calling can be seen as a chump move if done wrong.

But I stick to my original point that texting is becoming more prevalent and is actually a BETTER form of communication in some cases.

People are busy and can't pick up the phone sometimes. If they don't pick up the phone do you leave a voicemail? How is this better than a text? I suppose it has the benefit of vocal tone in conveying the message, but other than that, how is it different?

It is nothing more than a TOOL that in and of itself is not inherently good or bad. It is HOW you use it that dictates whether it is beneficial to you or not.

Yeah how is calling, showing up on her caller id and getting her voicemail any better than sending a text, and more often than not getting a reply back? Texting is just a tool that depends on how you use it. You can probably tell who is actively gaming new girls and who's not. I can't imagine someone doing it without using texting.

 

[horaholic]

the general idea is that txting is less intrusive to a girl's personal space

I see your point, and I have caught myself texting chicks because I was more or less afraid of disturbing them. The fact is, though, that was AFC on my part. A DJ isnt afraid to intrude on a girls space. Obviously, if you know she's at work or something, texting is the way to go, if it's necessary to contact her. I've sent texts asking if she's busy. If she DOESNT SAY YES, I'll call. I assume a no reply as a no.

We need to learn to use texting like real men. I'm not anti text, but I definitely see the point the others are making, as well.

Heres a few guidelines I've come up with. Add to them if you have more ideas. Lets make a DJ text rule book right now.

1. Dont text like a chick, with fluff talk, etc.

2. DONT text a chick, cuz you're afraid to call, or worried about disturbing her!!!! (I need to work on this one the most!) If anything, send an "are you busy?' text, followed by a phone call, if she doesnt say she is too busy.

3. Dont ask for a date through a text. Thats a wuss move.

4. If you dont recieve a text back in an hour, CALL and ask if she got it. Texts get lost in the airwaves sometimes. This bypasses the "i didnt get it," excuse. (Im sure this one will be debated, but I'm sticking to it, from now on.)

Everyone elses thoughts and criticsms are welcome on this.

 

[Rollo Tomassi]

A Buffer is bad when it blunts or insulates you from what would otherwise be a a valuable learning opportunity. Rejection sucks - experience teaches harsh, but teaches best. You will NEVER learn to accurately read a "real live" woman in real time if you're hiding behind a convenience that inhibits you from experiencing her completely.

IM, emai, texting, etc. makes you the Cyrano de Bergerac of the 21st century. Go meet real girls. If you must text, then use it to set up a face to face meeting.

 

[Janez]

Good point. Thank you.

 

[Knight's Cross]

Alright Men,
Here's my latest on texting. It's best that you set the frame early. I recently met a plate and let her know that I didn't like texting for more than a,"hey I'm at the gate, plane just pulled in" sorta tool. Now, once you set that frame, you STICK TO IT. Never sending a text ever. Respond only, and keep it SHORT and sweet. That has worked like a charm for me~
KC

 

[Jitterbug]

Normally I don't do it but just because of this thread, I used Facebook and TXT to set up a first date last night. I even went for the formulaic drinks + movie (although I picked some very unique venues for those that suprised her). She showed up, dressed to impress (so did I), we had lots of fun and a nice makeout session at the end + checking out the goods (would've gone for more but we both had to start work early this morning).

However, I did know her a couple months before this (dated other ppl at the time) and built up attraction over that period.

So yeah, TXT is a valid tool. I used to really hate it but since I've got an iPhone with the excellent onscreen keyboard, I don't mind it so much. Still limit the usage though. If I can call, I will call. Don't have much time to just sit there sending TXT messages.

 

[STR8UP]

So Rollo is trying to be a smartass and sends me a text today that says "Texting sucks and you know it". I replied that it's because he "texts like a girl" haha

I think Rollo's take is more about assuring that you aren't hiding behind it, and with that I do concur. My take is that it's becoming par for the course and it's better to learn how to use it to your advantage in the right situations than to shun it entirely.

I read something about how one of the PUA's would use text to blast a message to a bunch of women in his phonebook about getting together that night, and see who bites. THAT'S the way to use texting as a tool that works in your favor.

And I think there are other ways to use it to your advantage that haven't been explored due to the stigma behind it.

I'm just seeing it more and more every day and want to try to open up the possibilities of how to use it in a positive manner as well as what to avoid to ensure that it doesn't work against you.

 

[MisterMcGee]

Texting is convenient for ME. That's why I use it.
How is that chumpish?
Answer: it isnt

 

[Rollo Tomassi]

Texting is convenient for ME. That's why I use it.
How is that chumpish?
Answer: it isnt

If talking to a girl face to face were equally as convenient, which would you opt for? Your answer is what makes you a chump or not.

 

[STR8UP]

If talking to a girl face to face were equally as convenient, which would you opt for? Your answer is what makes you a chump or not.

Face to face is ALWAYS the best method of communication.

I can relate with a little story that probably just goes to back up the claim of "texting is bad", but whatever. This isn't a black vs. white discussion.....

For the longest time I had problems with my sales people answering the telephone at my store.

The customer would be calling for the first time, never having been to the store, and was trying to get information. They would see our TV commercials and get on the phone and ask vague questions, trying to get an idea of whether it was worth it for them to drive to the store.

The employee would ramble on, answering the customers questions without any attempt to get the customer excited about coming into the store.

I had to sit them down and tell them point blank "We don't take phone orders! We can't sell the customer a goddamned thing until we get them IN THE STORE. That is your job. To get them off the phone and into the store. you tell them that you are really busy, and if they are looking for a SPECIFIC price on a SPECIFIC model number you will be happy to give it to them, but our store is way too big to run through the entire room trying to describe everything. YOU HAVE TO GET DOWN HERE. WE GOT DEALS. HURRY, HURRY, HURRY!"

It's the same thing with women and email/phone/text. They want to sit around for hours and yammer on and on to feel you out and and to get the emotional rush they get from "communicating". Your job as a man is to get them face to face so you can "close the deal".

They will never know how awesome your store is until you get them through the door.

 

[Mr. Me]

Which is why I use a phone script for when a prospect calls, in order to turn that inquiry into an appointment. The goal of the phone call is to get the appointment, not sell my service. Otherwise, without my being purposeful, potential customers will use the phone to obtain information upon which then they'll make a decision.

When it comes to dating women, it's quite similar. The purpose of the phone is to arrange the date. It's on the date that they get "sold" on the guy. BUT when dealing with a new girl, you don't know what you're dealing with exactly, and that's when it's most prone to the flaking and games. So the idea is to be in control of the communications.

But with texting, you surrender such control. This is where she doesn't return the text or claims to have never gotten yours, if she got it at all. This is one of those areas where it can and will be used to frustrate your purpose.

You can't judge her interest by how soon she returns your text because you don't know when she got it. And since she can take the moments needed to figure out a response she wants to send, you lose the advantage of her true live reaction to what you're saying with which to gauge her interest.

Down the road, when you're in more solid with the girl, texting is fine. "Be there in 5". "I'm at 45th and 7th. Where's the bar?" "Just checked the dress code: No panties allowed". But don't set up the first bunch of dates with it or risk being ambushed.

You guys who posted stories about women interested enough to hit it up with you and texted you: again, that doesn't indicate that texting is a tool that "works" in creating dates, the girl already was agreeable to meeting up with you. You could've called or sent her a singing telegram or a smoke signal and she'd be there and then you'd be claimming that smoke signals "work". Don't be fooled by making such causal connections.

Like I said, I discouraged texting, so the chickie I recently met emailed me for a date when she couldn't text me. I called and spoke to her and made the date for next week. She just called me today a little while ago just to chat a bit. No back and forth texting needed and look, she'll actually get on the horn and call, which requires more effort and commitment then sending a text, while you have to keep in the back of your mind that someone who contacts you with a text and indicates they want to be with you is a kind of mixed message: if they want to be with you, why do they not want to actually find a moment somewhere to talk with you instead?

I think I can safely say that this helps me gauge her interest level more then I could tell if I received a text.
I think I can safely say that speaking on the phone nailed down the date faster and quicker then texting may.
I think I can safely say that nailing down the details live on the phone left no room for uncertainty as to when and where this date takes place. I know she knows. She knows I know. I know she knows I know.

Yeah how is calling, showing up on her caller id and getting her voicemail any better than sending a text

It's not. Yet, when calling, there's a chance she'll pick up - that won't happen with text. As such, why hand her yet another weapon for her arsenal by using texting to set things up?

If you don't receive a text back in an hour, CALL and ask if she got it.

I'd say don't do that, that's gonna send a signal of insecurity/impatience. Why not just call her in the first place?

txting is less intrusive to a girl's personal space

Which is why it's more of a buffer and why it's not as significantly useful/meaningful a tool as a phone call.

 

[ketostix]

Face to face is ALWAYS the best method of communication.

I can relate with a little story that probably just goes to back up the claim of "texting is bad", but whatever. This isn't a black vs. white discussion.....

For the longest time I had problems with my sales people answering the telephone at my store.

The customer would be calling for the first time, never having been to the store, and was trying to get information. They would see our TV commercials and get on the phone and ask vague questions, trying to get an idea of whether it was worth it for them to drive to the store.

The employee would ramble on, answering the customers questions without any attempt to get the customer excited about coming into the store.

I had to sit them down and tell them point blank "We don't take phone orders! We can't sell the customer a goddamned thing until we get them IN THE STORE. That is your job. To get them off the phone and into the store. you tell them that you are really busy, and if they are looking for a SPECIFIC price on a SPECIFIC model number you will be happy to give it to them, but our store is way too big to run through the entire room trying to describe everything. YOU HAVE TO GET DOWN HERE. WE GOT DEALS. HURRY, HURRY, HURRY!"

It's the same thing with women and email/phone/text. They want to sit around for hours and yammer on and on to feel you out and and to get the emotional rush they get from "communicating". Your job as a man is to get them face to face so you can "close the deal".

They will never know how awesome your store is until you get them through the door.

STR8UP this is a brilliant analogy. Like I said before, it makes little difference how you get her to the "store", whether it's through an "ad", phone call or text, they're all just tools and any of them can be used effectively or ineffectively. Texting is a medium that women use and it can be effective for getting them into the "store".

 

[R19]

I dislike texting women. It's so one dimensional. Why do so many chicks seem to love it so much?

(I'm over 25)

 

[Rollo Tomassi]

(I'm over 25)

Then put it on your profile.

 

[DMSR76]

I dislike texting women. It's so one dimensional. Why do so many chicks seem to love it so much?

(I'm over 25)

Simply put, because it's a passive form of communication. They can troll around you without "facing" you.

 

[Bluntmaster]

Simply put, because it's a passive form of communication. They can troll around you without "facing" you.

True. Basically they can lie, cheat and flake without having to look you in the eye, or talk to you. That's why many chics these days try to establish the text relationship early. .They will do EVERYTHING over text if you let them. They will type paragraphs and have conversations and most guys let them get away with it. It's ridiculous. It gives the woman power that's why they love texting.

If you care about the chic at all, don't let her establish the text with you.