The takeaway...and handling the comeback

[Firelight]

OK so .... having done the following.

1. expressed some initial attraction
2. Had to do a takeaway due to lack of interest or rejection (hey, them's the breaks)

When they end up coming back from the "ganji games", how do you play it? Recently, both of the girls I did a hard next on after getting rejected came back around at me after a couple of months, but I didn't end up playing those properly either. So I'm wondering if there's a proper strategy for this.

I'm a pretty straight-forward guy and actually believe in being 100% responsive to people I know, so ignoring e-mails or calls goes against my grain. Maybe this hurts my chances. But something is telling me I ought to ignore the first couple of contacts before responding...and then, I'm wondering how soon to escalate or invite after that for the best percentages chances of turning the game around.

 

[Metaphysical]

What exactly is the situation? did you get dumped by her?

 

[Firelight]

More like made a move, got the cheek, then started getting IM's that she really enjoys hanging out with me but didn't want me to think that night was a date, etc. I cut her off and told her to meet me if she wanted to talk, but after talking to folks here, I canceled instead.

We had great rapport when we were out together, but I'm done investing on my end and the ball is in her court. I still run into her once in a while so I'll be friendly, but that's it unless she reinitiates.

Still, it got me thinking about the other couple of times I had to next hard and how they both came back trying to get ME to go out to lunch or dinner. I really don't know how to amp it up from that context.

 

[Firelight]

Three for three now. After about two months I ran into her at an event. She IM's me to say hi and too bad we couldn't catch up, then invites me to another thing happening on campus after hours. I'm already going somewhere else that night so I decline.

About a week later I invite her to a party/concert. She swings by to grab the ticket in advance, invites me to dinner, I decline again as I'm busy with friends over that night.

Keep in mind this girl never really invited me to do anything before.

At the concert, plenty of social proof with the other gals I am with in both directions, it's just fun all around, and she mails me the next day to say she had a ton of fun.

Not really sure what to do next. =P I don't want to cross vague boundaries so I might do Johnny Soporno's "unconditional friendship" offer thing.