"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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The stress of outperforming the competition can sometimes be too much

MatureDJ

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GigaChad actor Calum Von Moger (oh my, what an appropriate surname! o_O) - who portrayed Arnold Schwarzenegger in the (original legendary bodybuilder) Joe Weider biopic Bigger - has attempted autodefenestration:
 

“The 22 Rules That Flip the Script With Women… And How You Can Use Them Tonight”

Most guys accidentally kill attraction before they even speak. They assume they need a bigger bank account, a better physique, or smoother lines. They miss the point.

Female desire operates on a specific set of psychological triggers.  Break them, and you're invisible. Follow them, and you become magnetic.

I learned this the hard way. Years of freezing up. Getting friend-zoned. Watching other guys walk away with the girl I wanted. Then I discovered a set of 22 simple rules that rewired my entire approach.

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BillyPilgrim

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"autodefenestration" (rare, nonce word): The act of hurling oneself from a window.

"Jabberwocky" is another example of a nonce word.
 
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