GtarPlayr73
Senior Don Juan
I want to share some insights and observations I recently gained into the ways of the Sexually Manipulative Woman (SMW). I was in a great deal of frustration and confusion until I finally hit rock bottom and the pain of that experience forced me to forego the "dream" and finally see the obvious reality that was staring me in the face. What I realized had happened and why was so helpful to me that I wanted to share it with others on this forum.
The Sexually Manipulative Woman is a woman who does not have sex for healthy reasons such as pleasure, affection, appreciation, attraction, intimacy, etc. The SMW views sex as a tool to be used to get what she wants. And just what does she want? Power. Who does she want it over? You. Why? Because she is insecure and is incapable of trusting men. She has a low self-esteem and feels threatened by the power of man. Simply put, power makes her feel good....about herself. The SMW is selfish. She does not give two sh*ts about YOU. She does not care for you, she only cares about how you can enhance her. The SMW wants you to be utterly infected and consumed with oneitis for her. Nothing makes her more happy and you more miserable.
So how does the SMW get her power? Through sex and sex alone. For the SMW, sex is a switch that she flips on and off, according to the power dynamics of the so-called relationship that she is in. When the man holds the power, she turns sex on to bring the man down. When the man is utterly powerless, she turns sex off, but baits him with the promise of sex to keep him hooked. When the sex is on, the man feels appreciated, attractive, and powerful. If the man is an AFC, he happily believes he can trust this woman and anticipates continuous, wonderful, glorious sex. BUT, if he is not maintaining other women as active options, he will soon become obsessed with getting sex CONSISTENTLY from the SMW. Oneitis quickly sets in and dominates his every thought. She, being a woman, is incredibly attuned to the inner strength or lack thereof in the man. As soon as she detects that the man's focus has moved to the sole objective of getting sex from her, she will begin to feel and assume POWER and recognize sex as the source of that power. As her sense of power increases in proportion to the sense of sexual desperation and weakness in the man, she will give up sex less and less frequently, while all the time, perpetuating the illusion that she values and desires the man. The result is that the man, by willfully continuing to desire sex from her and only her, hands over his intrinsic power to the SMW and, like sand in a freshly-flipped hourglass, eventually, all of the power that was once his becomes firmly gripped in the hands of the now aloof, cool, uncaring, and arrogant Sexually Manipulative Woman.
Key to the whole process is the factor of male willpower. The process of losing one's power to an SMW is not an accident, nor is it the fault of the SMW, amazingly enough. No, a man loses his power to the SMW solely by his own will. He believes the SMW's lies and deceptions even after the sex has dried up. Only when he feels the painful emptiness of seeing the SMW full of herself, full of power, and holding the upper hand, does he see the reality of the situation. She never actually liked him or cared for him or wanted him. He realizes that he has been played by a woman who is not emotionally healthy. He's been used. He realizes then and only then, that he has lost power by WILLFULLY giving it to her. And he realizes that he gave it to her by WANTING SEX WITH HER. He realizes that he gave her what was once his: the ability to say no. And when this sinks in, a smile begins to appear on a face that once knew only despair and confusion...
So how does a man reclaim power in such a situation? He forces himself, by will alone, to no longer want sex from the SMW. Knowing that sex is the only source of power for the SMW and removing it from the equation effectively strips her of her power. When you no longer want sex from the SMW, she no longer has ANY control or power of you. Once the SMW knows that you no longer want her, she will instantly offer sex to you once again as BAIT to get back under her control. She is now desperate for that validation, desperate for that attention, desperate for ANY way to regain power over you so that she can once again, FEEL bigger-better-greater than she really is.
The SMW is only ready to see sex as the end instead of a means to an end when she knows that she cannot pervert it into a tool for manipulating men, including you. But as long as the men she encounters are willing to overlook her hatred for the concept of love and her inability to be emotionally vulnerable with men, they will continue to be victims by their own choosing. The SMW is a wounded bird. She cannot trust men. She is paranoid of being "dominated" by them. She sees all men as takers and "emotionally dangerous". She does not know what it is like to trust and love a man.
Where did the SMW learn this hatred and distrust of opposite sex? Almost always, she is the daughter of an emotionally unhealthy or emotionally negligent man. To put it simply, she did not have an emotionally healthy relationship with her father. Maybe he was physically abusive. Maybe he was an alcoholic. Maybe he was harsh and critical. But the bottom line is that if she was not able to experience emotional trust and intimacy with her father, she is not going to be able to experience the same with other men in her life. It doesn't take her long to realize the power of her body's promise to men and soon, she is using it, not as it was intended, but as a tool for experiencing what she so desperately craves: CONTROL over men. Power is nothing to her if it does not allow her to control men and thus feel...SAFE.
One final point, if you found yourself a willing victim of an SMW, consider the reason why. The SMW only gains power from you when you focus on getting sex from her. This single-minded and obsessive focus both leads to and results in oneitis. If you have succumbed to oneitis, it was because you did not have enough other "plates" spinning. You made this SMW the sole woman in your life and, being a man, it was only natural to want sex with her. The key, though, is that the SMW preys on men who are susceptible to oneitis. She thrives on men who have no other options. The SMW will not satisfy you as long as you focus on her. Regaining your power requires that you direct your sexual energy elsewhere, toward women who are capable of trusting you and appreciating you as the prize. Such women will approach sex not as a tool but the ends it is meant to be.
The Sexually Manipulative Woman is a woman who does not have sex for healthy reasons such as pleasure, affection, appreciation, attraction, intimacy, etc. The SMW views sex as a tool to be used to get what she wants. And just what does she want? Power. Who does she want it over? You. Why? Because she is insecure and is incapable of trusting men. She has a low self-esteem and feels threatened by the power of man. Simply put, power makes her feel good....about herself. The SMW is selfish. She does not give two sh*ts about YOU. She does not care for you, she only cares about how you can enhance her. The SMW wants you to be utterly infected and consumed with oneitis for her. Nothing makes her more happy and you more miserable.
So how does the SMW get her power? Through sex and sex alone. For the SMW, sex is a switch that she flips on and off, according to the power dynamics of the so-called relationship that she is in. When the man holds the power, she turns sex on to bring the man down. When the man is utterly powerless, she turns sex off, but baits him with the promise of sex to keep him hooked. When the sex is on, the man feels appreciated, attractive, and powerful. If the man is an AFC, he happily believes he can trust this woman and anticipates continuous, wonderful, glorious sex. BUT, if he is not maintaining other women as active options, he will soon become obsessed with getting sex CONSISTENTLY from the SMW. Oneitis quickly sets in and dominates his every thought. She, being a woman, is incredibly attuned to the inner strength or lack thereof in the man. As soon as she detects that the man's focus has moved to the sole objective of getting sex from her, she will begin to feel and assume POWER and recognize sex as the source of that power. As her sense of power increases in proportion to the sense of sexual desperation and weakness in the man, she will give up sex less and less frequently, while all the time, perpetuating the illusion that she values and desires the man. The result is that the man, by willfully continuing to desire sex from her and only her, hands over his intrinsic power to the SMW and, like sand in a freshly-flipped hourglass, eventually, all of the power that was once his becomes firmly gripped in the hands of the now aloof, cool, uncaring, and arrogant Sexually Manipulative Woman.
Key to the whole process is the factor of male willpower. The process of losing one's power to an SMW is not an accident, nor is it the fault of the SMW, amazingly enough. No, a man loses his power to the SMW solely by his own will. He believes the SMW's lies and deceptions even after the sex has dried up. Only when he feels the painful emptiness of seeing the SMW full of herself, full of power, and holding the upper hand, does he see the reality of the situation. She never actually liked him or cared for him or wanted him. He realizes that he has been played by a woman who is not emotionally healthy. He's been used. He realizes then and only then, that he has lost power by WILLFULLY giving it to her. And he realizes that he gave it to her by WANTING SEX WITH HER. He realizes that he gave her what was once his: the ability to say no. And when this sinks in, a smile begins to appear on a face that once knew only despair and confusion...
So how does a man reclaim power in such a situation? He forces himself, by will alone, to no longer want sex from the SMW. Knowing that sex is the only source of power for the SMW and removing it from the equation effectively strips her of her power. When you no longer want sex from the SMW, she no longer has ANY control or power of you. Once the SMW knows that you no longer want her, she will instantly offer sex to you once again as BAIT to get back under her control. She is now desperate for that validation, desperate for that attention, desperate for ANY way to regain power over you so that she can once again, FEEL bigger-better-greater than she really is.
The SMW is only ready to see sex as the end instead of a means to an end when she knows that she cannot pervert it into a tool for manipulating men, including you. But as long as the men she encounters are willing to overlook her hatred for the concept of love and her inability to be emotionally vulnerable with men, they will continue to be victims by their own choosing. The SMW is a wounded bird. She cannot trust men. She is paranoid of being "dominated" by them. She sees all men as takers and "emotionally dangerous". She does not know what it is like to trust and love a man.
Where did the SMW learn this hatred and distrust of opposite sex? Almost always, she is the daughter of an emotionally unhealthy or emotionally negligent man. To put it simply, she did not have an emotionally healthy relationship with her father. Maybe he was physically abusive. Maybe he was an alcoholic. Maybe he was harsh and critical. But the bottom line is that if she was not able to experience emotional trust and intimacy with her father, she is not going to be able to experience the same with other men in her life. It doesn't take her long to realize the power of her body's promise to men and soon, she is using it, not as it was intended, but as a tool for experiencing what she so desperately craves: CONTROL over men. Power is nothing to her if it does not allow her to control men and thus feel...SAFE.
One final point, if you found yourself a willing victim of an SMW, consider the reason why. The SMW only gains power from you when you focus on getting sex from her. This single-minded and obsessive focus both leads to and results in oneitis. If you have succumbed to oneitis, it was because you did not have enough other "plates" spinning. You made this SMW the sole woman in your life and, being a man, it was only natural to want sex with her. The key, though, is that the SMW preys on men who are susceptible to oneitis. She thrives on men who have no other options. The SMW will not satisfy you as long as you focus on her. Regaining your power requires that you direct your sexual energy elsewhere, toward women who are capable of trusting you and appreciating you as the prize. Such women will approach sex not as a tool but the ends it is meant to be.
