Hello Friend,

If this is your first visit to SoSuave, I would advise you to START HERE.

It will be the most efficient use of your time.

And you will learn everything you need to know to become a huge success with women.

Thank you for visiting and have a great day!

The sex always goes to ****

captain55

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in my experience, sex is very much what have you done for me lately with these women. You can get the nastiest borderline narcissistic slut to be writing you love letters about how she wants a future with you and fully commited to you as long as your hitting it right. She will remain attached for about 4-5 days and come back for the sex inevitably. She will be a good girl too. Eventually your ability to **** the **** out of her will wear off once the novelty wears off and she does something that turns you off.

just my personal experience from dating tons of borderlines and hot narcissists over the years. Dump them around the 4-5 week mark and go out like a g with dignity. Wish I would of all these years, spent a lot of time trying to play captain save a hoe with dumb chicks. And time is everything In this game fellas. I cringe at the amount of ***** I passed up on being in stupid relationships in my early and mid 20’s....game everything you can. Date as many women as you can, do not commit before age 30 ..unless it’s for financial gain or you have a girl with great genes you want kids with. Make a list of all the qualities you want in a woman and if she doesn’t check all the boxes next her ass.
 

2Rocky

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When I got divorced I seriously made a checklist. Both of characteristics I wanted and deal breakers. Women just seemed to cull themselves from my life because I had that conscious mindset.

  • Is she available to commit to a relationship with me?​

  • Do I love her for who she is right now, who she is today?​

  • Does she blame her ex, kids, other people, or circumstances for her life situation?​

  • Is this what I really want?​

  • Would I want to spend the rest of my life with this woman (and her kids and ex) exactly as they are?​

  • Am I afraid to be alone?​

  • Does she talk too much (especially about herself) and tend to monopolize the conversation?​

  • Does she appear to be poor listener?​

  • Do I find myself wanting to “help” or rescue this divorced or divorcing woman because I see her potential?​

  • Is she emotionally distant?​

  • What kind of effort does she make to really connect?​

  • Does she walk her talk? Does what she says about herself appear to match reality?​

  • What am I most attracted to about her?​

  • Do I find myself focusing on one important quality (sex, fun, humor, money, etc), while ignoring unmet relationship requirements?​

  • Do we share values?​

  • Is she pessimistic or negative about things that matter to me?​

  • Does she appear to still be pining for her ex or another past relationship?​
  • What do this woman and I have in common?​

  • What are the glaring differences between me and my partner?​

  • Am I avoiding looking at the differences, because of the important things that we have in common?​
  • Does she appear to accept feedback, take responsibility, and be willing to self-examine?​

  • Is she honest in dealing with people, money, etc?​

  • Does she appear to lack integrity?​

  • Am I trying to change this woman to fit what I want, instead of accepting her for who she is?​

  • Does it feel like I’m on an emotional roller coaster, and that there is regular and recurring emotional drama in this relationship?​

  • Does this woman tend to react to frustration with anger, rage and/or blame?​

  • Does she try to control everything (including me)?​

  • Would I want this woman to raise my child?​
  • Is this woman looking to me to make her life better (especially if her life is particularly problematic?)​
  • How is her attitude?​

  • Does she appear to be overly judgmental toward herself or other people?​

  • Does she have an active addition (or addictive disposition)?​

  • If she has an addiction or addictive disposition, does she rationalize it as “not a problem”?​

  • Can I depend on this woman to keep agreements?​

  • Does this woman tend to be immature, impulsive, and/or irresponsible?​

  • Would I want my child to be exactly like my partner?​
 

captain55

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You are correct, identify cluster b fast and be purely selfish in your dating with them. Avoiding altogether is not really an option for some of us.
you hit the nail on the head. Trying to find an 8 plus that isn’t a npd or bpd is pretty difficult. I moved halfway across the country from a. Superficial city to a small town in the south and still found one lol
 

LiveYourDream

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From the Heart and Soul, of a Woman
When I got divorced I seriously made a checklist. Both of characteristics I wanted and deal breakers. Women just seemed to cull themselves from my life because I had that conscious mindset.

  • Is she available to commit to a relationship with me?​

  • Do I love her for who she is right now, who she is today?​

  • Does she blame her ex, kids, other people, or circumstances for her life situation?​

  • Is this what I really want?​

  • Would I want to spend the rest of my life with this woman (and her kids and ex) exactly as they are?​

  • Am I afraid to be alone?​

  • Does she talk too much (especially about herself) and tend to monopolize the conversation?​

  • Does she appear to be poor listener?​

  • Do I find myself wanting to “help” or rescue this divorced or divorcing woman because I see her potential?​

  • Is she emotionally distant?​

  • What kind of effort does she make to really connect?​

  • Does she walk her talk? Does what she says about herself appear to match reality?​

  • What am I most attracted to about her?​

  • Do I find myself focusing on one important quality (sex, fun, humor, money, etc), while ignoring unmet relationship requirements?​

  • Do we share values?​

  • Is she pessimistic or negative about things that matter to me?​

  • Does she appear to still be pining for her ex or another past relationship?​
  • What do this woman and I have in common?​

  • What are the glaring differences between me and my partner?​

  • Am I avoiding looking at the differences, because of the important things that we have in common?​
  • Does she appear to accept feedback, take responsibility, and be willing to self-examine?​

  • Is she honest in dealing with people, money, etc?​

  • Does she appear to lack integrity?​

  • Am I trying to change this woman to fit what I want, instead of accepting her for who she is?​

  • Does it feel like I’m on an emotional roller coaster, and that there is regular and recurring emotional drama in this relationship?​

  • Does this woman tend to react to frustration with anger, rage and/or blame?​

  • Does she try to control everything (including me)?​

  • Would I want this woman to raise my child?​
  • Is this woman looking to me to make her life better (especially if her life is particularly problematic?)​
  • How is her attitude?​

  • Does she appear to be overly judgmental toward herself or other people?​

  • Does she have an active addition (or addictive disposition)?​

  • If she has an addiction or addictive disposition, does she rationalize it as “not a problem”?​

  • Can I depend on this woman to keep agreements?​

  • Does this woman tend to be immature, impulsive, and/or irresponsible?​

  • Would I want my child to be exactly like my partner?​
Great list! Sorry you had to go through whatever you did, to gain the wisdom and insight displayed on your list.
 

LiveYourDream

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It’s easy for all of us to want to see someone else’s potential. If only they...fill in the blank...adjust this or that. Your desire for the adjustment or theirs. Do not create a relationship with someone based on a fantasy or hope or projection of who they could be.

I think it is super important we each learn to see people and chose partners exactly as they show themselves to be, right now, and through their actions, over words.

Best someone never choose a ltr/marriage partner based on yours or their own projected potential of them. Even if they promise you they will change something, be disciplined that what you see and currently experience is what you will get. If you are not genuinely satisfied and have any lingering desires for anything to be different, that person is not a suitable LTR/marriage partner. Consider that, in many areas you are likely still in the honeymoon phase with the person, and understand some aspects will diminish. Men consistently experience diminished looks and sexual frequency from their ltr/marriage partners. Be honest with yourself about what will satisfy you.

Do not imagine your partner to improve in any way. Be 10000% satisfied now or do not commit. Do not commit yourself based on a game of fantasy roulette.

Live happily in the here and now with them, as things are, or move on. Should anything get even better, than simply consider that a bonus.

Any other expectations of change are fertile soil for deep disappointment. There is a saying along the lines of, when a person shows you who they are, believe them (the first time).

In a healthy relationship, I certainly anticipate positive change and growth with my partner, as we evolve individually and as a couple. At the same time, the ability to be happy with exactly what is, without expectations is super important. It is a paradox. Life is change.
 
Last edited:

EyeBRollin

Master Don Juan
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When I got divorced I seriously made a checklist. Both of characteristics I wanted and deal breakers. Women just seemed to cull themselves from my life because I had that conscious mindset.

  • Is she available to commit to a relationship with me?​

  • Do I love her for who she is right now, who she is today?​

  • Does she blame her ex, kids, other people, or circumstances for her life situation?​

  • Is this what I really want?​

  • Would I want to spend the rest of my life with this woman (and her kids and ex) exactly as they are?​

  • Am I afraid to be alone?​

  • Does she talk too much (especially about herself) and tend to monopolize the conversation?​

  • Does she appear to be poor listener?​

  • Do I find myself wanting to “help” or rescue this divorced or divorcing woman because I see her potential?​

  • Is she emotionally distant?​

  • What kind of effort does she make to really connect?​

  • Does she walk her talk? Does what she says about herself appear to match reality?​

  • What am I most attracted to about her?​

  • Do I find myself focusing on one important quality (sex, fun, humor, money, etc), while ignoring unmet relationship requirements?​

  • Do we share values?​

  • Is she pessimistic or negative about things that matter to me?​

  • Does she appear to still be pining for her ex or another past relationship?​
  • What do this woman and I have in common?​

  • What are the glaring differences between me and my partner?​

  • Am I avoiding looking at the differences, because of the important things that we have in common?​
  • Does she appear to accept feedback, take responsibility, and be willing to self-examine?​

  • Is she honest in dealing with people, money, etc?​

  • Does she appear to lack integrity?​

  • Am I trying to change this woman to fit what I want, instead of accepting her for who she is?​

  • Does it feel like I’m on an emotional roller coaster, and that there is regular and recurring emotional drama in this relationship?​

  • Does this woman tend to react to frustration with anger, rage and/or blame?​

  • Does she try to control everything (including me)?​

  • Would I want this woman to raise my child?​
  • Is this woman looking to me to make her life better (especially if her life is particularly problematic?)​
  • How is her attitude?​

  • Does she appear to be overly judgmental toward herself or other people?​

  • Does she have an active addition (or addictive disposition)?​

  • If she has an addiction or addictive disposition, does she rationalize it as “not a problem”?​

  • Can I depend on this woman to keep agreements?​

  • Does this woman tend to be immature, impulsive, and/or irresponsible?​

  • Would I want my child to be exactly like my partner?​
This is an outstanding checklist.
 

RickTheToad

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When I got divorced I seriously made a checklist. Both of characteristics I wanted and deal breakers. Women just seemed to cull themselves from my life because I had that conscious mindset.

  • Is she available to commit to a relationship with me?​

  • Do I love her for who she is right now, who she is today?​

  • Does she blame her ex, kids, other people, or circumstances for her life situation?​

  • Is this what I really want?​

  • Would I want to spend the rest of my life with this woman (and her kids and ex) exactly as they are?​

  • Am I afraid to be alone?​

  • Does she talk too much (especially about herself) and tend to monopolize the conversation?​

  • Does she appear to be poor listener?​

  • Do I find myself wanting to “help” or rescue this divorced or divorcing woman because I see her potential?​

  • Is she emotionally distant?​

  • What kind of effort does she make to really connect?​

  • Does she walk her talk? Does what she says about herself appear to match reality?​

  • What am I most attracted to about her?​

  • Do I find myself focusing on one important quality (sex, fun, humor, money, etc), while ignoring unmet relationship requirements?​

  • Do we share values?​

  • Is she pessimistic or negative about things that matter to me?​

  • Does she appear to still be pining for her ex or another past relationship?​
  • What do this woman and I have in common?​

  • What are the glaring differences between me and my partner?​

  • Am I avoiding looking at the differences, because of the important things that we have in common?​
  • Does she appear to accept feedback, take responsibility, and be willing to self-examine?​

  • Is she honest in dealing with people, money, etc?​

  • Does she appear to lack integrity?​

  • Am I trying to change this woman to fit what I want, instead of accepting her for who she is?​

  • Does it feel like I’m on an emotional roller coaster, and that there is regular and recurring emotional drama in this relationship?​

  • Does this woman tend to react to frustration with anger, rage and/or blame?​

  • Does she try to control everything (including me)?​

  • Would I want this woman to raise my child?​
  • Is this woman looking to me to make her life better (especially if her life is particularly problematic?)​
  • How is her attitude?​

  • Does she appear to be overly judgmental toward herself or other people?​

  • Does she have an active addition (or addictive disposition)?​

  • If she has an addiction or addictive disposition, does she rationalize it as “not a problem”?​

  • Can I depend on this woman to keep agreements?​

  • Does this woman tend to be immature, impulsive, and/or irresponsible?​

  • Would I want my child to be exactly like my partner?​
Your list of requirements reminds me of this video:

 

mrgoodstuff

Master Don Juan
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Yeah, I mean I have dated some good and attractive women but the numbers and experience don't lie. I have actively tried to date women from good families too. Dating down seems like a good choice, but it doesn't work in practice. They get too insecure and sabotage, they have egos based on different criteria including massive fear of rejection. So, we are stuck in this market where 50% come from broken homes and have developed personality disorders or bare minimum avoidant attachment style. Then you get to the extremely controlling and domineering, incompatible personality types that predominate the remaining 50%.
And what can you accomplish with a "controlling" and "domineering" type?
 

EyeBRollin

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nothing. some younger siblings and mommy issues men like that, but I can't. A woman beautiful inside and out is rare indeed.
I mentioned in another thread I’ve hit a sweet spot with 6s. They’re cute enough to date, especially if they are fit and get dressed up. They have considerably less ego than 8+.
 

bat soup

Master Don Juan
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When I got divorced I seriously made a checklist. Both of characteristics I wanted and deal breakers. Women just seemed to cull themselves from my life because I had that conscious mindset.

  • Is she available to commit to a relationship with me?​

  • Do I love her for who she is right now, who she is today?​

  • Does she blame her ex, kids, other people, or circumstances for her life situation?​

  • Is this what I really want?​

  • Would I want to spend the rest of my life with this woman (and her kids and ex) exactly as they are?​

  • Am I afraid to be alone?​

  • Does she talk too much (especially about herself) and tend to monopolize the conversation?​

  • Does she appear to be poor listener?​

  • Do I find myself wanting to “help” or rescue this divorced or divorcing woman because I see her potential?​

  • Is she emotionally distant?​

  • What kind of effort does she make to really connect?​

  • Does she walk her talk? Does what she says about herself appear to match reality?​

  • What am I most attracted to about her?​

  • Do I find myself focusing on one important quality (sex, fun, humor, money, etc), while ignoring unmet relationship requirements?​

  • Do we share values?​

  • Is she pessimistic or negative about things that matter to me?​

  • Does she appear to still be pining for her ex or another past relationship?​
  • What do this woman and I have in common?​

  • What are the glaring differences between me and my partner?​

  • Am I avoiding looking at the differences, because of the important things that we have in common?​
  • Does she appear to accept feedback, take responsibility, and be willing to self-examine?​

  • Is she honest in dealing with people, money, etc?​

  • Does she appear to lack integrity?​

  • Am I trying to change this woman to fit what I want, instead of accepting her for who she is?​

  • Does it feel like I’m on an emotional roller coaster, and that there is regular and recurring emotional drama in this relationship?​

  • Does this woman tend to react to frustration with anger, rage and/or blame?​

  • Does she try to control everything (including me)?​

  • Would I want this woman to raise my child?​
  • Is this woman looking to me to make her life better (especially if her life is particularly problematic?)​
  • How is her attitude?​

  • Does she appear to be overly judgmental toward herself or other people?​

  • Does she have an active addition (or addictive disposition)?​

  • If she has an addiction or addictive disposition, does she rationalize it as “not a problem”?​

  • Can I depend on this woman to keep agreements?​

  • Does this woman tend to be immature, impulsive, and/or irresponsible?​

  • Would I want my child to be exactly like my partner?​
I´m going to print out that checklist and use it.
 
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