The Secret to a Healthy Relationship

[christie]

These days have an options is just as likely to make your women insecure and sabotage the relationship on her own then it is to have any other positive effect because of your demeanor

This is a tiny, tiny percentage of the normal girls.You're right LA(I just said 'LA' like they say in the season 5 episode of Letterkenny I borrowed from library, lol)
We say on sosuave to keep options because its the only way to avoid oneitis on the deranged bpd-archetype girls after they give up their sex then start selfdestructing and destroying the relationship.

Some girls should just not be p&d'ed nor have dread/competition anxiety played on them. Just avoid.

 

[oldmanofthesea]

These days have an options is just as likely to make your women insecure and sabotage the relationship on her own then it is to have any other positive effect because of your demeanor

I have definitely experienced this. I have learned I need to scale back a bit on verbalizing my value or telling women who my exes are (assuming they would know them and didn't know we dated). Don't get me wrong, I'm not bragging to women about my value, as they would see right through that, but there are subtle things you can say casually during certain conversations. I just need to stop that all-together. I think at this point in my growth, I am exuding enough value that women already sense it without my having to say anything, so if you say something, it pushes them over the edge. Like one example would be, if a girl I'm dating seems to be asking a lot of questions about my ex wife, "What was she like? Was she tall, short, thick, thin?" etc, I'll dig up a flattering pic of my ex wife from social media or whatever, and given that my ex wife is extremely hot, it ends up making the girl feel very jealous and insecure, even if she herself is hot. The last girl I dated was very slender (like 117lbs) and after seeing a pic of my ex wife, she lost like 8lbs in three or four weeks and kept it off. Crazy how much stuff like this impacts them. Another example is, let's say the topic gets on actors/actresses and then she says, "One of my girlfriends has dated a handful of actors and she says they were all D-bags," to which I might reply, "Yeah, I've dated a handful of actresses and they were all nuts." It IS true, I have, and it's not like they were super famous ones but they did have small speaking roles in various movies and TV shows, but just saying what I said will make a girl insecure. I've learned at this point, to keep my mouth shut and just be more mysterious instead. They can still somehow smell the value on you, while you also tell them very little.

 

[christie]

Agreed, but actually once youre in your 30s it seems like women want beta bucks and stability

man, you're right of course but you have to be her dashing lover too. Work on your muscles and grooming like a maniac in your 30's. You'll want that good base of prime and trimmed steak for the lifting workouts you'll have when you're way older. I'm sorry it seems like your 30's is even harder work than your 20's but you're capable of it. Set the tone for the rest of your masculine life in your thirties. You can do it.

 

[corrector]

There is always the option to exit. If the woman is doing this Ill tell you more often then not the man causing it.

Yeah, the hordes of beta simps that give instant validation. So of course other guys are causing inflated value so women can leave after the first argument and its not rosy anymore.

Of course, there is always an option to exit into a long dry spell or inceldom.

 

[Georgepithyou]

Well it depends on how you see the world man. I don't think its exclusively simps. Feminism and a post WW2 massacre of masculine traits played z part.

Simps are a byproduct of the the alpha males sacrificing their lives in both world wars. Just look what happened to Japan.

 

[Ricky]

In my experience the best way to keep things exciting is what I said in the first post, to keep things effortless. A man is most creative in his relationship(or with anything in life) when he's completely uninhibited.

That's why being aloof is always touted. Being aloof is a byproduct of being uninhibited. A woman operating purely or mostly off feminine instinct will sense this aloofness and be drawn to it naturally.

Declining her sexual advances in an LTR also keeps things hot. Teasing her and letting her get worked up before giving her a release, it reminds her you hold the power.

There are plenty of ways to check a woman's lame attempts at power or control. In the end they want to crater to you, and if you come off as dominant without even trying then you appear godly to them.

I thought i had a great, healthy one until this fall. We were having lots of sex, then i brought up some wild fantasies and admitted to some stuff i had done in my past. My wife got real cold real quick. I am struggling to win her back now. One of the biggest pieces of advice i have been given is to be aloof again.

I used to give her tons of space. Once the problems started in the fall, i got a little needy. There were other confounding issues. I don't want to get a divorce or separate so have had to play it real cool despite some blatant disrespect.

 

[christie]

You're such a sweetie!

No, you are! *batting eyelashes*

 

[metalwater]

probably this would be best answered by a man that has been in a 30+ year LTR and is happy about it.

Is it more successful to keep a relationship or end it?

the two extremes seem to work.
1- the couple rarely see each other and each does as they please. usually have enough money.
2- the couple sees each other all the time and establishes us against the world view. They don't look for validation they work together to just kick ass.

 

[ubercat]

Fair bit of truth in the old saying - love grows in the spaces between you.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

man, you're right of course but you have to be her dashing lover too. Work on your muscles and grooming like a maniac in your 30's. You'll want that good base of prime and trimmed steak for the lifting workouts you'll have when you're way older. I'm sorry it seems like your 30's is even harder work than your 20's but you're capable of it. Set the tone for the rest of your masculine life in your thirties. You can do it.

Prime steaks makes the mouth water, huh?

 

[christie]

Prime steaks makes the mouth water, huh?

I finally saw one again. Doing cardio only for the next 5 weeks while off work and from about 50 ft away he made my blood race.

Thank God he was far enough away not to notice me intently studying every move he made as he filled up his water bottle. I think I can approach. My hunter instinct flipped on(I hunt waterfowl and deer/moose) and felt the steel in my veins needed to go complete the task.
I have improved so much but I feel I'm not tight enough looking so I had a slap of low selfesteem/selfdoubt and I stopped myself from walking up to him. Next time I go to the gym I will heavily selftalk with positive affirmations reminding myself how good I'm doing and how far I've come so I don't get that wave of insecurity again.

Where's that thread on picking up at the gym? Time of day is crucial. He must of been there on his lunchbreak and I would have never seen him before as I'm at work normally at that hour. Big smile! I'll see what I can accomplish tomorrow or this week or when when I see him if that was just a coincidental theory about his lunchhour.
Just saw another one. Could have been his brother. He put himself right in front me, moving slow.
Assume attraction right? So I blurted out 'Are you in the CFL? He says "The what?" "Are you a football player? like for the Sask Riders? You look like a football player" and then I just pointed accusatory at his biceps then waved across his broad chest in a gesture with my hand all while talking loud through my mask because he had those headphones on.(which he had taken down)
"No, but thanks" and then he turned away from me.

Hey at least I broke the ice.
At least he answered me and was polite.
Next time I'll ask if he's in a different pro athlete sport. I'll keep doing that until he laughs or asks me to stop.
I got a buzz from opening him.