"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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The ridiculousness of the situation

lordson

Senior Don Juan
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Scene:

Me and my gf both at work. We are in retail in a shopping centre.

I finish at 2 and we planned to meet each other for lunch, when she goes on her lunch break.

At 2, i call her up and say that i can't meet her because i need to go to the toilet to take a dump and i hate using public toilets to take a dump. She gets pissy immediately and hangs up.

Afterwards i explained, that i really needed to go and its been boiling in me for the last 2 hours at work and i had to go home for it. I tell her public toilets are really dirty and i dont like taking a dump in them. Not only that, but i just tore a small chunk out of my finger at work and i especially didn't want to get it dirty.

She explains, that she was really hungry, told all her workmates to go on lunch before and without because she was waiting for me to have lunch with her after i finish work.

Now I tell her how was i supposed to know that when she just hangs up the phone on me. And she doesn't seem to get it through her head that i dont like to use public toilets to take a crap. She just doesn't get it, and doesn't seem to understand it.

Anyway, shes still pissy about me and bicthing and sulking and threatining a breakup and acting like a bloody woman.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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Brians_600rr

Don Juan
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Nov 10, 2007
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lol i feel you bro.. i cant take a sh!tta in public bathrooms either.

but hey u did wat u could.. u told her ur reason for not being able to meet for lunch. and she just needs to accept it.

hopefully u and ur gf dont break up over that fact that you dont like to take sh!ts in public restrooms.

good luck bro
 

KontrollerX

Master Don Juan
Joined
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If she's going to flip out on you over this fvck her.

Find someone better and more understanding.

I mean wtf man?

This was out of your control a bodily function lol its not like you were trying to p*ss her off.

If she breaks up with you over this just say to her "good I'm better off dating someone whose not so immature."
 

NSUballer

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Mar 30, 2005
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New Orleans
yea shes immature. hanging up on someone is the most immature thing you can do especially if it was only about you goin home to take a crap instead of meeting her for lunch.
 

PrinceBeavis

Banned
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lordson said:
Scene:

Me and my gf both at work. We are in retail in a shopping centre.

I finish at 2 and we planned to meet each other for lunch, when she goes on her lunch break.

At 2, i call her up and say that i can't meet her because i need to go to the toilet to take a dump and i hate using public toilets to take a dump. She gets pissy immediately and hangs up.

Afterwards i explained, that i really needed to go and its been boiling in me for the last 2 hours at work and i had to go home for it. I tell her public toilets are really dirty and i dont like taking a dump in them. Not only that, but i just tore a small chunk out of my finger at work and i especially didn't want to get it dirty.

She explains, that she was really hungry, told all her workmates to go on lunch before and without because she was waiting for me to have lunch with her after i finish work.

Now I tell her how was i supposed to know that when she just hangs up the phone on me. And she doesn't seem to get it through her head that i dont like to use public toilets to take a crap. She just doesn't get it, and doesn't seem to understand it.

Anyway, shes still pissy about me and bicthing and sulking and threatining a breakup and acting like a bloody woman.

You've GOT to be kidding!!! :crackup: That is SO DJ to tell a woman ALLL about the feces rotting in your bowels.....God, I wonder why she's not turned on! HAHA!!!!
You think women don't use filthy bathrooms? God, what a bunch of pansies! Go in, use an ass-gasket, do your thing, wash your hands, move on, go to lunch, go home, get laid! Simple!
 

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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