Had an interesting experience about three months ago which lasted less than a month...
A friend and his now ex moved to the city I live about a year ago and that is when I met her. The first couple of times we hanged out (when they were still together) I noticed how she looked and smiled at me even in his presence, but never made any approach and it was like she did not exist for me up until six months later when she decided to tell me that they have now broken up (after a 4-year relationship). Fast forward six months (to September this year) and we are texting quite frequently, even met up for the first time after I last saw her (November last year).
Amazing first unofficial date, a lot to talk about, tons of smiles and banter. It all kicked off from that point and we started going out at least once a week (as long as she was free - busy work schedule). She was very affectionate - tons of kisses and hugs, but I got shut down for sex every single time it came up, always finding an excuse for it to not happen (working early tomorrow, changing accommodation, etc.). That should have been the first red flag, but I went AFC very quickly in all this and it was like someone pulled a curtain in front of my eyes. While we were on this stage, she kept talking about introducing me to her inner circle, which I found very strange as it was not exactly aligned with how things are going between us. We actually went out once with a friend of hers and she was acting with me like we are exclusive or w/e.
Anyway... Two days after we celebrated her birthday, I had an accident with my bike (car involved), got injured pretty badly and I stayed home for a week while taking quite strong painkillers. Without being able to work out, go outside and meet people, and after a huge fight with my BFF I started losing my sh*t pretty quickly, she was like the only thing I was hanging on to at this point (HUGE MISTAKE). A week after the accident I wanted to see her as I was in a really bad state, which she might have felt to be the case. Anyway, a pint or two later after we sat a local bar, I didn't feel like staying there anymore (painkillers and booze is not a good idea) and hinted to her we should go home together and again I received a refusal. At this point the hamster in my head started spinning and as I was on my way home I texted her that I wanted to meet her before we go to a gathering her colleagues were hosting at their place on Sunday. Funnily enough she knew what I wanted to meet her for and I decided to ask straight: what the hell is going on? I am being introduced to your inner circle, you are acting with me like we are exclusive, but we haven't even spent a single night in bed. At that point she told me that she was not sure if it is going to work out between us and all that crap, but for the rest of the day at her colleagues' place she was more affectionate than the females in the couples there (WTF?).
The next day she went silent, not a single message all day up until the evening when she decided to tell me via Facebook that it is not going to work out and we should stay friends. That drove me nuts and we actually met each other two days later when I received the usual crap - you will find someone better than me, I am not sure if I am going to live here anymore, etc. etc....
Went NC at that point, but lasted about a week before I texted her and for some reason (still unknown to me) I agreed to go to the cinema, although I was thinking about flaking... Anyway, half way through the movie she started rubbing her legs against mine and pushing her arms slightly against mine at which point I didn't do anything because just a week before that she was spinning the friendzone record...
Fast forward two days later, we were texting and I told her how bad I took all this that happened and she went ballistic at that point, started blaming me that I want to make her feel bad about her choices. I just said that's not the case and went NC. She kept ghosting me for more than a month until she started liking a lot of my posts on Facebook, but I finally pulled the trigger and removed her accounts. On top of that she won't stop liking whatever her ex posts and I got sick and tired of seeing this sh*t. I just hope she doesn't decide to text or call at some point...
That's the first time I ever experienced anything like this. Reflecting back on her behaviour, it felt like I was a rebound for her (minus the sex). The worst thing was that I couldn't resume my normal life after all this due to the accident (no working out, no late nights with friends...)... October and part of November was a very dark period.
A friend and his now ex moved to the city I live about a year ago and that is when I met her. The first couple of times we hanged out (when they were still together) I noticed how she looked and smiled at me even in his presence, but never made any approach and it was like she did not exist for me up until six months later when she decided to tell me that they have now broken up (after a 4-year relationship). Fast forward six months (to September this year) and we are texting quite frequently, even met up for the first time after I last saw her (November last year).
Amazing first unofficial date, a lot to talk about, tons of smiles and banter. It all kicked off from that point and we started going out at least once a week (as long as she was free - busy work schedule). She was very affectionate - tons of kisses and hugs, but I got shut down for sex every single time it came up, always finding an excuse for it to not happen (working early tomorrow, changing accommodation, etc.). That should have been the first red flag, but I went AFC very quickly in all this and it was like someone pulled a curtain in front of my eyes. While we were on this stage, she kept talking about introducing me to her inner circle, which I found very strange as it was not exactly aligned with how things are going between us. We actually went out once with a friend of hers and she was acting with me like we are exclusive or w/e.
Anyway... Two days after we celebrated her birthday, I had an accident with my bike (car involved), got injured pretty badly and I stayed home for a week while taking quite strong painkillers. Without being able to work out, go outside and meet people, and after a huge fight with my BFF I started losing my sh*t pretty quickly, she was like the only thing I was hanging on to at this point (HUGE MISTAKE). A week after the accident I wanted to see her as I was in a really bad state, which she might have felt to be the case. Anyway, a pint or two later after we sat a local bar, I didn't feel like staying there anymore (painkillers and booze is not a good idea) and hinted to her we should go home together and again I received a refusal. At this point the hamster in my head started spinning and as I was on my way home I texted her that I wanted to meet her before we go to a gathering her colleagues were hosting at their place on Sunday. Funnily enough she knew what I wanted to meet her for and I decided to ask straight: what the hell is going on? I am being introduced to your inner circle, you are acting with me like we are exclusive, but we haven't even spent a single night in bed. At that point she told me that she was not sure if it is going to work out between us and all that crap, but for the rest of the day at her colleagues' place she was more affectionate than the females in the couples there (WTF?).
The next day she went silent, not a single message all day up until the evening when she decided to tell me via Facebook that it is not going to work out and we should stay friends. That drove me nuts and we actually met each other two days later when I received the usual crap - you will find someone better than me, I am not sure if I am going to live here anymore, etc. etc....
Went NC at that point, but lasted about a week before I texted her and for some reason (still unknown to me) I agreed to go to the cinema, although I was thinking about flaking... Anyway, half way through the movie she started rubbing her legs against mine and pushing her arms slightly against mine at which point I didn't do anything because just a week before that she was spinning the friendzone record...
Fast forward two days later, we were texting and I told her how bad I took all this that happened and she went ballistic at that point, started blaming me that I want to make her feel bad about her choices. I just said that's not the case and went NC. She kept ghosting me for more than a month until she started liking a lot of my posts on Facebook, but I finally pulled the trigger and removed her accounts. On top of that she won't stop liking whatever her ex posts and I got sick and tired of seeing this sh*t. I just hope she doesn't decide to text or call at some point...
That's the first time I ever experienced anything like this. Reflecting back on her behaviour, it felt like I was a rebound for her (minus the sex). The worst thing was that I couldn't resume my normal life after all this due to the accident (no working out, no late nights with friends...)... October and part of November was a very dark period.
