The reason that makes a serious relationship unbearable to me are the continuous tasks

[SW15]

A woman of a bygone era. Like most good things in our society it is becoming a thing of the past.

True. I've not met many women who seem a lot like @The Duke 's mother. How many Millennial and Gen Z women sew?

If all modern day woman can provide is looks, sex, and companionship then she certainly isn't special enough for marriage.

That's a non-marital longer term girlfriend who you don't live with.

Today's women lean on men too much and bring too little to the table. They are simply too damn selfish and overvalue themselves. And they all wonder where all the good men went and why men don't want to marry. lolz My own mom is disappointed in modern day women.

My maternal grandmother from the GI Generation (born early 1920s) died in the 2010s. She mentioned in the 2000s and 2010s that she was unimpressed with the younger women of that time (1980s born Millennials). She didn't think they were worth marrying for the most part. 2 of her grandsons got divorced from 1980s born Millennial women, though the divorces happened after she died. I have never married.

My Boomer mother was not as traditional as my maternal grandmother. Someone could argue that my Boomer mother was a bit of a precursor to later generation women.

 

[The Duke]

It's a woman's utmost duty to keep her man happy. If she can't she needs to go. Bible says it best:

In the current societal structure, this includes girlfriends too.

How many wives/long-term girlfriends that lived under your roof for at least 3 years have you experienced?

 

[Gamisch]

Sounds like shyte tests to me...

I remember reading an article where dude said to ALWAYS end the relationship after max a year,and 6 months if you're a black dude...

These are the types of men who sent your woman back after a short stint. She won't ever get the chance to become as annoying as described in the OP. When she does she gets replaced, period.

The problem starts when a man feels like he's unable or unwilling to replace her!!!

Its simply impossible to keep frame infinitely. And yes ,women are ruthless. Like a window, a small crack will become a huge hole sooner or later.

Once the nagging starts,its over . If you want to you can play the game tho..now you're in a TOXIC relationship where anything goes..

Let's not forget that this behaviour always is combined with the occasional love bombing. Push push push pull , rinse and repeat...

 

[BackInTheGame78]

How many wives/long-term girlfriends that lived under your roof for at least 3 years have you experienced?

My guess is zero.

 

[Scaramouche]

Sounds like shyte tests to me...

I remember reading an article where dude said to ALWAYS end the relationship after max a year,and 6 months if you're a black dude...

These are the types of men who sent your woman back after a short stint. She won't ever get the chance to become as annoying as described in the OP. When she does she gets replaced, period.

The problem starts when a man feels like he's unable or unwilling to replace her!!!

Its simply impossible to keep frame infinitely. And yes ,women are ruthless. Like a window, a small crack will become a huge hole sooner or later.

Once the nagging starts,its over . If you want to you can play the game tho..now you're in a TOXIC relationship where anything goes..

Let's not forget that this behaviour always is combined with the occasional love bombing. Push push push pull , rinse and repeat...

Hi Gamisch,
You have learned to Slap the Dew-Lap on you have worked as a Painter in the Building Trade,maybe picked up a few transfer skills as well....When word gets out you may well learn.....I whinge about this too,but really it allows me to get a few Giggles....This year out of the blue an attractive Malaysian Chinese Plate who dumped me ten years ago sent me an EMail....Scarra I am desperate,can you help me throw a Bird Net over my Cherry Tree?(She is a Gardener)...So I chucked a few things into my Old Ford Wagon and went into town...A few Tomato Stakes,some Flower pots and a few Long Nails and We got the net on...So we are walking back to her Kitchen and she points to over the Door,the Security light is dangling on a wire,can you fix that?...Sure but not today honey LOL....This Bird is only 4foot ten or so but built like a Centrefold Pin Up and Knocks like a Shvit House Door in A Hurricane!

 

[BackInTheGame78]

If EVERY woman is giving OP the same problems, it's not women that are fvcked up - its OP.

The question nobody else is asking that is the most important one...

Why the hell is OP scheduling dates with women when he wants to spend the time alone by himself doing nothing?

The solution is simple. If OP feels like staying at home doing nothing, then do that by himself and stop involving them in it, which he shouldn't be doing to begin with.

He isn't living with them so it's not like he is around them 24/7 that they can be in his business all day. He is choosing to put himself in that position, then complaining when it happens.

The obvious is to not put yourself in that situation to begin with.

 

[LTG71]

It seems like women are hard coded to be restless and turn restless the man that has the misfortune of being in her proximity for too long.

I kid you not, I never had a woman at my house that allowed me to sit my ass on the sofa for more than a hour without demanding actions, time or assigning tasks.

The same moment your ass cheecks hit the pillow surely and quickly comes a "can you help me with..." or "let's go to ....", "are you really just gonna sit there and do nothing"?

Just like kids their brain cannot understand the concept of beind idle to rest and recover, they either sleep or they need non stop entertainment.

But what really makes them unbearable to me are the tasks they feel the need to assign wheter is to get an object in the room they can get themselves, close the curtain, throw away the trash on demand, check for something and so on.

The average man generally says "later" which means your demand has no priority and I dont want to interrupt what I'm doing for it.

Me personally I realized that the "later" only makes them more annoying and restless so given the outcome I simply started to ignore their demands which in fact equally frustrates them.

Just like the need for silence, the need for peace is probably the biggest drive not to engange in a serious relationship at least for my taste.

This even before the non stop social activities they need and feel the need to drag their man on.

They apparently cant get the fact that those 2 hours socializing at the gym after the 5 hours at work fulfil the basic needs for most men.

Do you relate?

Can relate 100%. My wife has a six sense in which she can tell that I’m trying to relax. If it’s not mindless tasks that she can do herself, it’s what I call the “royal we.“ Like, “we should pull the weeds in the courtyard”, “we should paint these baseboards”, “we need gas in the car…” Countless tasks she can do while I’m away at work. Last doctor visit showed I had elevated blood pressure and she says you need to relax more. As I’m trying to relax and read a book, she suggests a task that “needs“ to be done, lol. Can you STFU so I can relax?

I totally get the “entertaining“ vibe as well. They can’t just be with themselves in silence. Can’t have a relaxing weekend without going out or doing something. I think social media has poured gas on this fire with all the FOMO and envy from seeing what other people are doing. What I recognize with the women in my social circle is that none of them have any hobbies. Nothing to entertain themselves other than eating and drinking. All the husbands get out and enjoy some kind of hobby.

One solution I have found for this is to go outside and ”work” on said suggested tasks. Like cleaning the yard. Clean the yard while watching the game in the garage and sipping a cold beer. Enjoy the peaceful sounds of a 2-stroke engine and take your time. You’re doing the suggested task but to your liking.

 

[manfrombelow]

I kid you not, I never had a woman at my house that allowed me to sit my ass on the sofa for more than a hour without demanding actions, time or assigning tasks.

1. This is one classic trait in the female species that I believed was hardwired into their DNA since day 01.

Do you relate?

2. Yes of course. The fact that I cannot rest and be a lazy sloth in my own place somehow makes me stressed and tired all the time during the lifespan of all relationships that I'm in. Even if I outright refuse her assignments, the entailed silence treament and sh!tty attitude from her surely guaranteed the rest of the day is fvcked. Women cannot leave you alone.

 

[DonJuanjr]

I don't have relationship experience, so if this is obvious you'll forgive me. Couldn't one just re-frame "I'm fine with you doing it, if it's bothering you. Otherwise I'm not bothered by it and will tend to it when it bothers me."

 

[Fruitbat]

Standard SoSuave response:

“I would NEVER allow any woman to act like that, she would be out the door the moment she asked me to bring her hairbrush upstairs. You’ve revealed you’re a low quality man and only have yourself to blame”

my actual response:

Yes, women have evolved basically to want men to solve their issues. Thing is, you get plenty in return. I mean, if women had a huge laundry list of sechsual things which I had to shave my balls for etc that would kind of be a drag. Yes, you may get lumbered with some annoying jobs as a man in a LTR but you can decide your lines. If it gets too much for me I just ask “don’t you have legs/eyes?” and often that stops it. However, I will be fine taking the rubbish out, killing the mice we have. I do all the physical housework tasks which take some effort (I’m 6 3 and my wife is a delicate 5 foot and 95lb - some household tasks are really hard work for her but easy for me) but she cooks all my kids food and does a lot of other stuff. Just draw the line.

one thing is certain: they will test how much they can get you doing. Women don’t have a “fairness” chip and most I’ve been with are inherently lazy.

the other thing is they are NEVER satisfied and that’s the other really annoying thing. It doesn’t matter what you make or do, they will always scroll social media enough to find someone doing better and then feel thoroughly depressed that they can’t spend their entire life being waited on hand and foot being fed grapes.

my wife can be super lazy and I get a lot of BS work like going to the shops etc but to be fair she puts a lot of effort into things which make our sechs life very satisfying for me. This takes quite a bit of effort on her part so I’d rather a lady who works hard to satisfy me but delegates me some crap work, than a lady who does equal share but then won’t be bothered to be a feminine woman when I want it.

It would be nice to have both but I think it’s rare.

 

[Westminster]

Sounds like shyte tests to me...

I remember reading an article where dude said to ALWAYS end the relationship after max a year,and 6 months if you're a black dude...

These are the types of men who sent your woman back after a short stint. She won't ever get the chance to become as annoying as described in the OP. When she does she gets replaced, period.

The problem starts when a man feels like he's unable or unwilling to replace her!!!

Its simply impossible to keep frame infinitely. And yes ,women are ruthless. Like a window, a small crack will become a huge hole sooner or later.

Once the nagging starts,its over . If you want to you can play the game tho..now you're in a TOXIC relationship where anything goes..

Let's not forget that this behaviour always is combined with the occasional love bombing. Push push push pull , rinse and repeat...

Why only 6 months if you're Black but a year otherwise?

 

[Bible_Belt]

It's a woman's utmost duty to keep her man happy. If she can't she needs to go. Bible says it best:

In the current societal structure, this includes girlfriends too.

The famous Bible quote actually tells each spouse to submit to each other.

And I dont mean this toward you, but rather the rest of the people here...Men marry their mothers. It would seem useful as a therapeutic device to compare any woman who has wronged you to your mother.

 

[Manure Spherian]

Mine is an insensitive b1tch, honestly, and that explains a lot of my relationships.

Are you married to her?

 

[CyrusTheGreat]

The famous Bible quote actually tells each spouse to submit to each other.

No, it doesn't. It commands women to obey their husbands and men to love their wives. Here is the exact quote:

Ephesians 5:22-33 MEV

Wives, be submissive to your own husbands as unto the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, just as Christ is the head and Savior of the church, which is His body. But as the church submits to Christ, so also let the wives be to their own husbands in everything. Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for it, that He might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word, and that He might present to Himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing, but that it should be holy and without blemish. In this way men ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as the Lord cares for the church. For we are members of His body, of His flesh and of His bones.

How many wives/long-term girlfriends that lived under your roof for at least 3 years have you experienced?

None myself. I have a handfuls of Muslim middle eastern friends however, whom their wives worship the ground their husbands walk on.

This has made me thinking that the main problem of men in the west is their deviation from religions, which if you think about it is the most stupid thing western men have done since religions such as Christianity and Islam provide a strong framework for men in dealing with women and clearly set the duties of women in regards to their husbands.

Back to your question, after seeing my Muslim friends, I will not settle for less than that, even if that means I'll be single forever.

 

[AureliusMaximus]

But what really makes them unbearable to me are the tasks they feel the need to assign wheter is to get an object in the room they can get themselves, close the curtain, throw away the trash on demand, check for something and so on.

The average man generally says "later" which means your demand has no priority and I dont want to interrupt what I'm doing for it.

I have seen/experienced this too many times. They just can't help themselves and cannot fking sit still like kids.
I would argue this is part of the of the concept of "Betatization through 1000 concessions".

Its the "Yes dear" thing.

Most men are too weak to say no or "Do it yourself" and refuse to do it - sort of a relationship never ending mini shyte test because if you cave in then you let her take lead which will eventually lead to her resentment of you.

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

I have seen/experienced this too many times. They just can't help themselves and cannot fking sit still like kids.
I would argue this is part of the of the concept of "Betatization through 1000 concessions".

The thing that is interesting to me is why someone would marry someone who acts like that. I mean, most of those things will reveal themselves in the first six months of the relationship. Who are the men who ignore these red flags and marry them?

 

[Manure Spherian]

Who are the men who ignore these red flags and marry them?

Those who can’t rectify the situation, are desperate, and/or believe that such restlessness is a quirk they have to deal with.

 

[Manure Spherian]

If we expect the women to stop running wild in the streets and acting like wh0res then men will need to stop chasing after them.

For all their complaining, men feed feminism and wh0redom.

 

[Westminster]

The thing that is interesting to me is why someone would marry someone who acts like that. I mean, most of those things will reveal themselves in the first six months of the relationship. Who are the men who ignore these red flags and marry them?

I think it varies a bit. They can emerge more slowly and amplify over time, especially if a woman becomes influenced by family, 'friends' or others who stir trouble and promote dissatisfaction. Women are often more easily influenced by outsiders and expectations change over time.

Plus men are often blind to red flags early in the relationship. It's easy to be distracted. I know I was.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Standard SoSuave response:

“I would NEVER allow any woman to act like that, she would be out the door the moment she asked me to bring her hairbrush upstairs. You’ve revealed you’re a low quality man and only have yourself to blame”

my actual response:

Yes, women have evolved basically to want men to solve their issues. Thing is, you get plenty in return. I mean, if women had a huge laundry list of sechsual things which I had to shave my balls for etc that would kind of be a drag. Yes, you may get lumbered with some annoying jobs as a man in a LTR but you can decide your lines. If it gets too much for me I just ask “don’t you have legs/eyes?” and often that stops it. However, I will be fine taking the rubbish out, killing the mice we have. I do all the physical housework tasks which take some effort (I’m 6 3 and my wife is a delicate 5 foot and 95lb - some household tasks are really hard work for her but easy for me) but she cooks all my kids food and does a lot of other stuff. Just draw the line.

one thing is certain: they will test how much they can get you doing. Women don’t have a “fairness” chip and most I’ve been with are inherently lazy.

the other thing is they are NEVER satisfied and that’s the other really annoying thing. It doesn’t matter what you make or do, they will always scroll social media enough to find someone doing better and then feel thoroughly depressed that they can’t spend their entire life being waited on hand and foot being fed grapes.

my wife can be super lazy and I get a lot of BS work like going to the shops etc but to be fair she puts a lot of effort into things which make our sechs life very satisfying for me. This takes quite a bit of effort on her part so I’d rather a lady who works hard to satisfy me but delegates me some crap work, than a lady who does equal share but then won’t be bothered to be a feminine woman when I want it.

It would be nice to have both but I think it’s rare.

That's actually where a lot of men fail eventually...trying to solve all women's problems.

We are hardwired to "fix" things and when it comes to women and they have issues we try to help them "fix" them.

However, many times the woman doesn't want your help to fix it, she just wants to feel secure that she can communicate those issues with you and you just listen to her.

I've learned that many times just listening and saying something like "yeah, that must be a really tough position to be in. What do you think you'll do?" and then she will say what she plans on doing and then you can offer your opinion and then leave it up to her to fix.

She will respect a man far more if you listen and let her fix her own issues than trying to fix them for her. That's one of the areas that leads to slowly losing her respect over time if it happens often enough.

Sounds weird but it really isn't when you step back and think about it.