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The REAL reason most guys failt at Cold Approach/Daygame

devilkingx2

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Cold approach is one of the hardest methods of finding a girlfriend, it is not easier and it does not get easier over time.
It depends on what the comparison is.

a fruitful social circle is better than cold approaching, but a social circle that has little potential is not better.

OLD is infinitely harder than Cold Approaching.

Night game is situational and conditional. (If you suck at dancing, or don't measure up to the the attractiveness of the average club-goer or don't have the money for $15 drinks then daygame will be better)


What guys need to know is they have to be very mindful that the vast majority of women will not be interested in them at all no matter how good their game is.
I agree with this. 50% of them will be married. 80% of them will be boring to talk to for longer than 5 minutes.
 

devilkingx2

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I'm a stranger. There's nothing you're gonna say to me that's gonna pull me away from my errands for more than a few seconds, and even then it's only because I want you to leave me alone. Best case scenario. Worst case? I'm afraid of you. But I'm absolutely not "interested" in you.
There's women who are so introverted/tribalist that they wouldn't be open to meeting anyone new, but you wouldn't want to meet them either.
 

Zimbabwe

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There's women who are so introverted/tribalist that they wouldn't be open to meeting anyone new, but you wouldn't want to meet them either.
I've met women like this in my motherland, their parents have a laundry list of requirements for any man to have a chance to marry them.

It was an absolute nightmare...
 

Divorced w 3

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Yeah I can imagine. Most girls aren’t porn stars. Porn stars prep for a whole day before an anal scene I read somewhere
Women do it more than you think. One college girlfriend i would do it to as an end to regular sex quite a bit… an airline stewardess (nuff said) asked me to once unsolicited… chick this summer told me she felt as if it was something she did need to do just out of consideration… I think it’s like 1/4 of women or something if memory serves.
 

Divorced w 3

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I'm a stranger. There's nothing you're gonna say to me that's gonna pull me away from my errands for more than a few seconds, and even then it's only because I want you to leave me alone. Best case scenario. Worst case? I'm afraid of you. But I'm absolutely not "interested" in you.
Your body language would probably prevent me from coming up to you anyway, but then again if you’re walking around scowling you’d probably love that someone actually paid attention to you, since being in that frame makes it easier than average to stimulate your happiness, and odds are you’d love the fact that I did it….so i would call it out and say it looks like you’re having a great day, sarcastically , Because we all know that pulling someone out of the abyss creates the strongest of emotions, and then I probably wouldn’t call you for the aforementioned
 

Parallelophone

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Um. That is kinda my point. :rolleyes:



If you want it enough, you will make the time.



Well, that is a different story, isnt it?



Oh. Ok. Gotcha :up:



What makes you think that?
It's not a different story, it's the story the majority of the time. That's my point. That the majority of strangers are not hurting for sex so much that they'd rearrange their lives at random for someone they met on the street. The majority of people, if the mood strikes them, will set dedicated time/channels aside for that. The majority of people are swiping on Tinder or whatever, but aren't so horny that they'll take chances on random strangers.



Your body language would probably prevent me from coming up to you anyway, but then again if you’re walking around scowling you’d probably love that someone actually paid attention to you, since being in that frame makes it easier than average to stimulate your happiness, and odds are you’d love the fact that I did it….so i would call it out and say it looks like you’re having a great day, sarcastically , Because we all know that pulling someone out of the abyss creates the strongest of emotions, and then I probably wouldn’t call you for the aforementioned
If you say "Looks like you're having a great day" I would first be confused. Because I don't think I'm scowling. I think I look normal. But if it clicks for me that you're havin' a giggle at how I'm not smiling, I would give a tight lipped smile and nod in defeat. More like a grimace. And then I'd go on my way.

I'm pretty sure most people would too. I'm busy. I don't have the time to talk and you aren't an interesting person.
 

We_ArE_VeNOM

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It's not a different story, it's the story the majority of the time. That's my point.
But it is..

There is a difference between..

"Im not gonna approach her, BECAUSE I am not hurting for sex/affection" (which it sounds like you are saying).

and..

"DESPITE the fact that I am not hurting for sex or affection, I will STILL approach her" (which is what I am saying).

Sounds like you are insinuating that one be hurting (desperate) for sex just because he has the balls to approach a woman, which is bogus.

That the majority of strangers are not hurting for sex so much that they'd rearrange their lives at random for someone they met on the street.
No one said anything about rearranging their lives at random for someone they meet on the street.

So wtf are you talking about?

Man, guys will use every excuse in the book as to why they won't or shouldn't approach a woman...they will even go against sh!t that no one is even advocating.

It is a crying shame.

The majority of people, if the mood strikes them, will set dedicated time/channels aside for that.
Or they do both, like me.

The majority of people are swiping on Tinder or whatever, but aren't so horny that they'll take chances on random strangers.
Or they use swipe apps because they are afraid to approach women in person.

Funny, because even on Tinder, the woman is a "random stranger".

So it is ok to swipe for random women on Tinder and take chances....but not ok to approach random women in person and take chances.

Inconsistent, hypocritical logic.

If you say "Looks like you're having a great day" I would first be confused. Because I don't think I'm scowling. I think I look normal. But if it clicks for me that you're havin' a giggle at how I'm not smiling, I would give a tight lipped smile and nod in defeat. More like a grimace. And then I'd go on my way.

I'm pretty sure most people would too. I'm busy. I don't have the time to talk and you aren't an interesting person.
Like I said, any excuse.
 

SargeMaximus

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Women do it more than you think. One college girlfriend i would do it to as an end to regular sex quite a bit… an airline stewardess (nuff said) asked me to once unsolicited… chick this summer told me she felt as if it was something she did need to do just out of consideration… I think it’s like 1/4 of women or something if memory serves.
Been with all the women in the west have you?
 

Parallelophone

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But it is..

There is a difference between..

"Im not gonna approach her, BECAUSE I am not hurting for sex/affection" (which it sounds like you are saying).

and..

"DESPITE the fact that I am not hurting for sex or affection, I will STILL approach her" (which is what I am saying).

Sounds like you are insinuating that one be hurting (desperate) for sex just because he has the balls to approach a woman, which is bogus.

I'm talking about the approachee, not the approacher. The approachee is not so desperate that the approacher's "charisma" is gonna have any effect on them. Because the approachee isn't hurting for sex. Whatever magic you think you're about to work on women, women are too busy for that. Everyone is.

No one said anything about rearranging their lives at random for someone they meet on the street.

So wtf are you talking about?

Man, guys will use every excuse in the book as to why they won't or shouldn't approach a woman...they will even go against sh!t that no one is even advocating.

It is a crying shame.
If I'm out running errands, and I have to stop for several whole minutes to talk to someone, that's a rearrangement of my life that I don't have time for. I had specific things I planned on doing today, and you wanna be like "Hey, not only do I wanna pull you away from this and talk to you, but I'd like to see you again in the future, multiple times." That's a rearrangement of my life that I don't have time for. I being the approachee. If I'm a woman, I don't have the time or patience to pencil in random men on the street into my life.
 

characternote

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Cold approach 'works' in that it puts the numbers in your favour (More likely to be lucky enough to stumble upon a girl who thinks you are good looking, who is also single and happens to be a sociable person open too a complete stranger chatting them up)

But that's where the 'edge' ends. No PUA game/tricks etc is gonna cut any ice at all if she's not into you

This shouldn't even be a debate at this point. Just how many rejection compilations from professional PUA's do we have to see to come to the conclusion that 'game' is about getting efficient at closing the attracted girls (as opposed to 'making' them attracted with whatever attraction material you think you have lol)
 

Divorced w 3

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It's not a different story, it's the story the majority of the time. That's my point. That the majority of strangers are not hurting for sex so much that they'd rearrange their lives at random for someone they met on the street. The majority of people, if the mood strikes them, will set dedicated time/channels aside for that. The majority of people are swiping on Tinder or whatever, but aren't so horny that they'll take chances on random strangers.





If you say "Looks like you're having a great day" I would first be confused. Because I don't think I'm scowling. I think I look normal. But if it clicks for me that you're havin' a giggle at how I'm not smiling, I would give a tight lipped smile and nod in defeat. More like a grimace. And then I'd go on my way.

I'm pretty sure most people would too. I'm busy. I don't have the time to talk and you aren't an interesting person.
Again, I’m looking at a screen, and making inferences since your posts give the vibe off that you’re a peach but, I could be wrong and maybe you weren’t scowling.

Maybe you’re like Theresa who I met in the deli and you’re really positive with a Philly marathon training shirt and you’d humor me and answer my question as to whether you were group training with my neighbor or not … and then I stand there and wait a half a minute so you could digest what just happened, observe me and see if maybe you wanted to say something back.., which happened and the rest is history

I agree though, not everyone wants to be spoken to in the middle of the day, but not everyone enjoys smiling, attractive, tall people with interesting commentary either
 

kavi

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Day game approaching is generally a low value and low intelligence approach to meeting women.

Soliciting women in the street is low value because
1. It is weird and against social norms to attempt to 'socialise' with randoms on the street.
2. For a guy to go against 1. Above for a women it shows major desperation and weakness.

Approach anxiety exists for a reason. You can never overcome it and still be a healthy human being.

Approach anxiety exists because by doing cold approach you are either
1. Going against social norms and expectations, risking rejection and failure just for female validation and love
2. Bringing you personal value down by putting yourself in a position to be humiliated.

Alpha Males and High Value men always protect their value first and foremost.

Approach anxiety exists because subconsciously we men knw that by approaching we really are lowering our value and hence our psychology resists.

Notice that approach anxiety is much lower or non existent when we are given IOIs in social settings where men talkiing to women is normal.

Do you think Leo Caprio would ever approach a stranger on the street and give her the opportunity to reject and humiliate him. What about other powerful important men. Putin?

The way this in Nature is that a high value guy attracts women with what he has to offer. To solicit randomly on the street is the behaviour of low value men.

I am not against cold approach per se but no one can go around regularly doing it.

If you are spending that much time cold approaching you can simply direct that energy to other things.

Why not cold approach men to build friendships and social circles.

If you are not cold approaching men to make friends then it is weird you are cold approaching women and yet being cold and ignoring men. It means you only care about sex but talking to those ppl most similar to you has no value.

If we lived in a world where ppl talked and socialised on street level with strangers then cold approach would not be so weird. But that is not our society so it makes cold approach very low value and simping.

Dont listen to anyone telling u to go and spam approach 100 girls in a week or month or approach 1000 girls. Its all weak behaviour.

Cold approach can be done for fun or evry now and then for thrills or if you see someone you like but it cannot be your bread and butter.

The reason is cold approach puts you in a desperate and scarcity/neediness mindset that you are willing to go to the effort of approaching and entertaining a random stranger just to give her the opportunity to reject and humiliate you.
 

Divorced w 3

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Day game approaching is generally a low value and low intelligence approach to meeting women.

Soliciting women in the street is low value because
1. It is weird and against social norms to attempt to 'socialise' with randoms on the street.
2. For a guy to go against 1. Above for a women it shows major desperation and weakness.

Approach anxiety exists for a reason. You can never overcome it and still be a healthy human being.

Approach anxiety exists because by doing cold approach you are either
1. Going against social norms and expectations, risking rejection and failure just for female validation and love
2. Bringing you personal value down by putting yourself in a position to be humiliated.

Alpha Males and High Value men always protect their value first and foremost.

Approach anxiety exists because subconsciously we men knw that by approaching we really are lowering our value and hence our psychology resists.

Notice that approach anxiety is much lower or non existent when we are given IOIs in social settings where men talkiing to women is normal.

Do you think Leo Caprio would ever approach a stranger on the street and give her the opportunity to reject and humiliate him. What about other powerful important men. Putin?

The way this in Nature is that a high value guy attracts women with what he has to offer. To solicit randomly on the street is the behaviour of low value men.

I am not against cold approach per se but no one can go around regularly doing it.

If you are spending that much time cold approaching you can simply direct that energy to other things.

Why not cold approach men to build friendships and social circles.

If you are not cold approaching men to make friends then it is weird you are cold approaching women and yet being cold and ignoring men. It means you only care about sex but talking to those ppl most similar to you has no value.

If we lived in a world where ppl talked and socialised on street level with strangers then cold approach would not be so weird. But that is not our society so it makes cold approach very low value and simping.

Dont listen to anyone telling u to go and spam approach 100 girls in a week or month or approach 1000 girls. Its all weak behaviour.

Cold approach can be done for fun or evry now and then for thrills or if you see someone you like but it cannot be your bread and butter.

The reason is cold approach puts you in a desperate and scarcity/neediness mindset that you are willing to go to the effort of approaching and entertaining a random stranger just to give her the opportunity to reject and humiliate you.
Two words: head trash
 

Plinco

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Day game approaching is generally a low value and low intelligence approach to meeting women.

Soliciting women in the street is low value because
1. It is weird and against social norms to attempt to 'socialise' with randoms on the street.
2. For a guy to go against 1. Above for a women it shows major desperation and weakness.

Approach anxiety exists for a reason. You can never overcome it and still be a healthy human being.

Approach anxiety exists because by doing cold approach you are either
1. Going against social norms and expectations, risking rejection and failure just for female validation and love
2. Bringing you personal value down by putting yourself in a position to be humiliated.

Alpha Males and High Value men always protect their value first and foremost.

Approach anxiety exists because subconsciously we men knw that by approaching we really are lowering our value and hence our psychology resists.

Notice that approach anxiety is much lower or non existent when we are given IOIs in social settings where men talkiing to women is normal.

Do you think Leo Caprio would ever approach a stranger on the street and give her the opportunity to reject and humiliate him. What about other powerful important men. Putin?

The way this in Nature is that a high value guy attracts women with what he has to offer. To solicit randomly on the street is the behaviour of low value men.

I am not against cold approach per se but no one can go around regularly doing it.

If you are spending that much time cold approaching you can simply direct that energy to other things.

Why not cold approach men to build friendships and social circles.

If you are not cold approaching men to make friends then it is weird you are cold approaching women and yet being cold and ignoring men. It means you only care about sex but talking to those ppl most similar to you has no value.

If we lived in a world where ppl talked and socialised on street level with strangers then cold approach would not be so weird. But that is not our society so it makes cold approach very low value and simping.

Dont listen to anyone telling u to go and spam approach 100 girls in a week or month or approach 1000 girls. Its all weak behaviour.

Cold approach can be done for fun or evry now and then for thrills or if you see someone you like but it cannot be your bread and butter.

The reason is cold approach puts you in a desperate and scarcity/neediness mindset that you are willing to go to the effort of approaching and entertaining a random stranger just to give her the opportunity to reject and humiliate you.

This is 100% your perception.
 

SW15

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Daygame is tough. Recent technological advances haven't made daygame any easier.

Most men are invisible to most women. Unless a man is at least a 7.5-8, he's going to feel invisible a lot of the time. Heck, even some 7.5-8s might feel that too.

I'll take my experiences as a man with photo ratings around 6.5-7. Let's be conservative and say I've rated as a 6-7 on looks.

If I'm doing an approach session outdoors, this is what I notice. When I make eye contact with and smile at most women, the overwhelming majority of women do not even acknowledge my existence. There's zero positive body language. There's no indication that they want to be talked to. Some portion of those non-responsive women have boyfriends and are not looking for new penis. I'll never know that. However, there are some women that are actually available and open to new penis who might not be interested. I think it is better to do outdoor approaches when there's an IOI in place. If I have to do stops on women that give me no IOIs, the most common interaction is some interaction of 30-60 seconds or less that doesn't result in me asking them out on a date and/or collecting their phone number. It's a mostly meaningless interaction. While I am willing to approach a woman not wearing headphones/earbuds without IOIs, I won't approach a woman wearing headphones/earbuds without some IOIs. Most women, earbuds or no earbuds, are not acknowledging my existence. I only have a fighting chance with the women with no earbuds in. Those are a small part of the population now on outdoor walking paths. It's incredibly difficult to capture the attention of women wearing earbuds on a walking path, not to mention get a 5 minute conversation out of her that serves as the basis for asking her out on a date.

Fewer women wear earbuds in the indoor retail settings. The pandemic and indoor masking ruined indoor retail game for multiple years and we're just starting to see signs that women are willing to talk to strangers indoors again. Even still, most women do not consider talking to an unknown man in a mall store, mall corridor, grocery store, or book store to be a priority. Many of those women in the venues mentioned in the last sentence are not open to new penis, but it's difficult to know the boyfriend status of women in the grocery store who you open and the interaction ceases in 30 seconds.

The general gym floor has a massive earbud problem. Fitness classes (either at the gym or a separate studio type environment) are the earbud workaround. Fitness classes at gyms and class-based studios have better ratios but even pickup in those venues is a bit of a challenge. Getting dates from attending them isn't as easy as you might think. There are very narrow windows to approach. You have 5 mins before class and 5 mins after class. That's not much for quantity. Additionally, a lot of women are not very sociable before/after classes. That's true both for men and with other women in terms of female friendships. I have arranged dates at fitness classes but relative to the number of fitness classes that I attended over time, it was an inefficient time sink. The primary reason to go to fitness classes is if you enjoy the exercise style of the class. If you get any dates out of it, consider it a bonus. You can't build a pipeline around fitness classes. You'll likely have to supplement with other approaching venues.
 

kavi

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Drawing out, reading and correct response to IOIs is the most important thing imo in dealing with women.

Most guys into cold approach are completely ignoring this concept. That is because day game is least conducive to body language interactions that include IOIs.

Imo evry above average guy can get IOIs from SOME women if he dresses and carries himself a certain way. This body language is just the outside representation of having internalised alpha male knowledge and real inner game.

The ability to draw out IOIs is the biggest skill any high value guy can have cos evrything else happens off IOIs.

When you understand IOIs you understand deeper concepts and learn to observer and interact without just being a spam workhorse who is randomly shooting hoping to hit the target and losing inner game evrytime he misses but considers rejection, failure and humiliation something to be proud of.
 
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I do a lot of cold pitches for my job. Here are similarities and differences.

Similarities:
You are interrupting someone’s time randomly
You have to maintain a solid frame/posture
You could get told to fvck off then get a yes right after it

Contrasts

You call a list of qualified leads that could be a good fit for your product vs cold approach you are approaching any random girl

You are in a professional setting vs cold approaching you are on the streets

You are more in control of your product/marketing in cold approach AKA yourself
 
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