The question below is for men who are generally opposed to getting married

[Josh Davidson]

Would you marry a woman who was beautiful, younger than you, earned more than you, her family was wealthy, her family had connections that could be good for your career, neither of you want children, you are both really into each other, and she lets you make the major decisions for the two of you (or she makes them if you're the type of man who doesn't like to make decisions).

I know a woman's sexual market value decreases and a man's sexual market value increases, but given this situation, would you marry her?

 

[Juanto]

In an open marriage? Maybe. Monogamous? No

 

[Josh Davidson]

In an open marriage? Maybe. Monogamous? No

Is it because of women's declining SMV, you want to be able to have sex with whoever you want, or why? I'm just curious.

 

[Plinco]

Would you marry a woman who was beautiful, younger than you, earned more than you, her family was wealthy, her family had connections that could be good for your career, neither of you want children, you are both really into each other, and she lets you make the major decisions for the two of you (or she makes them if you're the type of man who doesn't like to make decisions).

I know a woman's sexual market value decreases and a man's sexual market value increases, but given this situation, would you marry her?

"Never advise anyone to go to war or to marry"

Spanish proverb

If you want my opinion, the fact that she makes more than you do is a major red flag. But then again if you think your income potential is higher than hers with her family connections, then the rest is up to you.

 

[Josh Davidson]

"Never advise anyone to go to war or to marry"

Spanish proverb

If you want my opinion, the fact that she makes more than you do is a major red flag. But then again if you think your income potential is higher than hers with her family connections, then the rest is up to you.

Why is the fact that she makes more than I do a red flag?

 

[EyeBRollin]

I’m of the opinion that there is no benefit to marriage for non-elderly folks that don’t want children.

 

[Plinco]

Why is the fact that she makes more than I do a red flag?

A woman will not respect a man who makes less than she does.

 

[Josh Davidson]

A woman will not respect a man who makes less than she does.

I'm not sure if this is always true or not. What do other people think?

 

[Plinco]

I'm not sure if this is always true or not. What do other people think?

Let me give you a more detailed explanation

Human being have animal instincts built into us. It takes discipline to focus away from impulses and onto constructive activities. This is why it takes energy from you to focus for periods of time. Because of the way human interaction has evolved, women are far, far less likely to curb their impulses then men are. You can bet on 99.9% of women to act on their biological interests as much as they can get away with it. The most common exception to this is when a woman curbs her impulses for the sake of the children; unfortunately as our civilization degenerates this is becoming less common. There are also the rare 1/1000 women (maybe less) that act in a rational way, like Martha Stuart or an Ayn Rand, but those are the extreme exceptions.

 

[Josh Davidson]

Let me give you a more detailed explanation

Human being have animal instincts built into us. It takes discipline to focus away from impulses and onto constructive activities. This is why it takes energy from you to focus for periods of time. Because of the way human interaction has evolved, women are far, far less likely to curb their impulses then men are. You can bet on 99.9% of women to act on their biological interests as much as they can get away with it. The most common exception to this is when a woman curbs her impulses for the sake of the children; unfortunately as our civilization degenerates this is becoming less common. There are also the rare 1/1000 women (maybe less) that act in a rational way, like Martha Stuart or an Ayn Rand, but those are the extreme exceptions.

I see your point. Women certainly tend to act irrationally and this may be why I tend to have so much difficulty understanding them.

 

[Plinco]

I see your point. Women certainly tend to act irrationally and this may be why I tend to have so much difficulty understanding them.

Women think in an emotional gestalt. It's a quick way to judge and calculate whether something is in their interest or not. It is not good for abstraction though.

 

[RickTheToad]

Zero reasoning to do this unless you like losing your stuff you've acquired over the years.

 

[SW15]

A woman will not respect a man who makes less than she does.

Divorce rates support this line of thinking. Plenty of non-marital relationships fail because of this.

Zero reasoning to do this unless you like losing your stuff you've acquired over the years.

If she earns more and has a wealthy family, how much would you lose? My sense is that guys lose more stuff in divorce when they earn more money than the woman and/or have more money. A man who earns less than a woman might not end up owing the woman anything.

I’m of the opinion that there is no benefit to marriage for non-elderly folks that don’t want children.

I am a non-elderly person without kids. I changed my mind when I was younger about marriage. There are times in the past where I thought I would marry even though none of my relationships were close to it. As I assessed my life more, I didn't see my behavior and my desires as being compatible with marriage. I am open to having kids but don't plan on having them.

I am who you describe.

 

[Black Widow Void]

I've had relationships with more than one woman that claimed that they didn't want to raise children. Fast forward, they are married and with children.
A friend of mine married a gal because he thought that they were on the same page about not wanting children. When she was approaching egg expiring time, she wanted a child. He considered divorcing her, but stuck with it and they have a daughter now in college. He really loves his daughter, but he's also told me in private that he would have rather had a childless marriage.

As to your question, only you can answer this. Personally, there's no amount of money and lifestyle that I'd trade for my independence and freedom. Honestly, I like the concept of marriage, but I'm not the gambling type. There's easily an 80 % chance that you'll end up divorced or unhappily married. Why take that type of risk, if you don't have to.

 

[Josh Davidson]

I've had relationships with more than one woman that claimed that they didn't want to raise children. Fast forward, they are married and with children.
A friend of mine married a gal because he thought that they were on the same page about not wanting children. When she was approaching egg expiring time, she wanted a child. He considered divorcing her, but stuck with it and they have a daughter now in college. He really loves his daughter, but he's also told me in private that he would have rather had a childless marriage.

As to your question, only you can answer this. Personally, there's no amount of money and lifestyle that I'd trade for my independence and freedom. Honestly, I like the concept of marriage, but I'm not the gambling type. There's easily an 80 % chance that you'll end up divorced or unhappily married. Why take that type of risk, if you don't have to.

I see your point. Women can change. In fact: WOMEN DO CHANGE! This reminds me of a conversation I had with a female friend who admitted that if I marry a woman she will change after we are married. Maybe I should stay unmarried!

 

[SW15]

There's easily an 80 % chance that you'll end up divorced or unhappily married. Why take that type of risk, if you don't have to.

What I've quoted can't be emphasized enough.

When a man marries today, there's is ~80% likelihood of AT LEAST ONE of the following 3 things happening.

• An affair (either you, her, or both of you)
• A divorce
• A mediocre to subpar soul killing relationship that feels like it goes on interminably. This phase often precedes an affair or occurs after one or both partners has an affair.

If a man marries today and decides to have kids with a woman, it is more likely than not that he will no longer be in a romantic relationship with that woman by the time the first child born of that woman turns 18. This has been the case since at least the 1990s.

Many of the friends I've made since moving to my current city got married between 2015 and 2020. None of them have divorced yet. I sense at least one divorce is coming though these divorces are slow to come to fruition.

The only times today that I think marriage has a greater chance of lasting "till death" is if you have two people 18-24 from devout religious backgrounds getting married and the woman has a 0 or 1 notch count entering the marriage. Otherwise, the odds are not good.

 

[Josh Davidson]

What I've quoted can't be emphasized enough.

When a man marries today, there's is ~80% likelihood of AT LEAST ONE of the following 3 things happening.

• An affair (either you, her, or both of you)
• A divorce
• A mediocre to subpar soul killing relationship that feels like it goes on interminably. This phase often precedes an affair or occurs after one or both partners has an affair.

If a man marries today and decides to have kids with a woman, it is more likely than not that he will no longer be in a romantic relationship with that woman by the time the first child born of that woman turns 18. This has been the case since at least the 1990s.

Many of the friends I've made since moving to my current city got married between 2015 and 2020. None of them have divorced yet. I sense at least one divorce is coming though these divorces are slow to come to fruition.

The only times today that I think marriage has a greater chance of lasting "till death" is if you have two people 18-24 from devout religious backgrounds getting married and the woman has a 0 or 1 notch count entering the marriage. Otherwise, the odds are not good.

Interesting. How can we know their notch count? I mean, I know how to check if its 0 but other than that, I have no idea? I could ask her, but she'd probably lie. I once heard that if you ask a woman her notch count, multiply it by 3 to get an accurate idea.

 

[RickTheToad]

Divorce rates support this line of thinking. Plenty of non-marital relationships fail because of this.



If she earns more and has a wealthy family, how much would you lose? My sense is that guys lose more stuff in divorce when they earn more money than the woman and/or have more money. A man who earns less than a woman might not end up owing the woman anything.



I am a non-elderly person without kids. I changed my mind when I was younger about marriage. There are times in the past where I thought I would marry even though none of my relationships were close to it. As I assessed my life more, I didn't see my behavior and my desires as being compatible with marriage. I am open to having kids but don't plan on having them.

I am who you describe.

My ex-wife technically earned more than me, but I still spent over 20k to untie the knot in legal fees. So, don't kid yourself on that earnings bs.

 

[corrector]

Would you marry a woman who was beautiful, younger than you, earned more than you, her family was wealthy, her family had connections that could be good for your career, neither of you want children, you are both really into each other, and she lets you make the major decisions for the two of you (or she makes them if you're the type of man who doesn't like to make decisions).

I know a woman's sexual market value decreases and a man's sexual market value increases, but given this situation, would you marry her?

What is the religion of this hypothetical woman?

 

[Josh Davidson]

What is the religion of this hypothetical woman?

Same as me.