Hello Friend,

If this is your first visit to SoSuave, I would advise you to START HERE.

It will be the most efficient use of your time.

And you will learn everything you need to know to become a huge success with women.

Thank you for visiting and have a great day!

The Psychology of Ignoring Women

Sleeperhead

Don Juan
Joined
Sep 12, 2022
Messages
39
Reaction score
43
Age
28
Trying to initiate a conversation with a girl is like trying to talk to a ****ing brick wall. It just turns them off. It indicates subordination and betaness to them. I have better uses for my time than to beg girls.

I can think of one instance that I asked a girl at work how she was doing and she responded with "****ing brilliant". My response was to walk away without saying anything, and I can tell from the way she was looking at me later on that a switch in her brain had flicked.
 

Divorced w 3

Master Don Juan
Joined
Nov 20, 2022
Messages
2,156
Reaction score
1,190
Trying to initiate a conversation with a girl is like trying to talk to a ****ing brick wall. It just turns them off. It indicates subordination and betaness to them. I have better uses for my time than to beg girls.

I can think of one instance that I asked a girl at work how she was doing and she responded with "****ing brilliant". My response was to walk away without saying anything, and I can tell from the way she was looking at me later on that a switch in her brain had flicked.
Go tell them the best thing about the men’s team getting knocked out is that they don’t have to share half of their money now with the women’s team. Worked the other night on an attractive 3 set and strictly my own fault I didn’t number close. She was buying some guy his drinks too it was really fun to see. This stuff works guys.
 

MtmVaott

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Jul 2, 2022
Messages
324
Reaction score
114
OP, I chose these quotes^ to respond to but I acknowledge all your postings on this thread and respect your experience.

I'm gonna start out by saying I have no doubt this "ignoring" approach works very well for you, obviously, otherwise you wouldn't be posting and I doubt you're making this up.

However, I thought very hard to determine if there was ever a time where a man (someone I had never met) ignoring me actually resulted in my developing an interest in him (per your second quote above), and I concluded it was never and I mean that sincerely.

Why was that I wonder? Why some women are intrigued and drawn to men who ignore them and why some women are not?

For me personally and perhaps for other women with a decent level of self-esteem, who are secure and not in need of constant external validation, when a man I find attractive expresses an interest in me by actually approaching me and speaking to me, it causes me to develop an interest in him!

Not much if anything is gonna happen on my end if said man chooses to ignore me; I'm either going to assume he's not interested, which is fine, I don't need his validation, when single I always had abundance.

Or he's playing some silly "chase me" game which was a complete turn off and a very poor reflection on him in MY opinion.

That said, there are women who will respond positively to being ignored and approach you (or give you a big window to approach them). I happen to know a few..

From knowing these women, despite their external beauty, they all have low-self esteem, are insecure and seek constant external validation.

These are the same women who make it their life's purpose to upload endless pics on IG and receiving constant validation via SM and wherever else they can get it.

So It really depends on the type of woman you seek I suppose, would you agree?

A beautiful women with a decent level of self esteem, not in need of constant external validation? Or entitled AF?

Who when an attractive man displays an interest in her by approaching and talking to her, she's flattered, will talk to him and determine if there's a mutual interest worth pursuing further?

OR a beautiful but insecure woman who does seek that validation, who craves attention wherever she can get it and is intrigued by men who ignore her because deep down she doesn't feel worthy of man's interest or love if it ever came to that.

Your (or any man's) call on that, no wrong or right as far as I'm concerned.
I noticed something: You presuppose you already expressed your interest to him. For you, the question is if he is ignoring you AFTER you gave him signals of interest.
And your husband, you were the one who was interested first. Your short-term ex, he was the one who was interested first.

What actually happens in most cases, or most cases of the guys on this site, is this:
Guy sees girl. Guy looks often to girl. Because of the attention, the girl gets interested. Girl gives signals. Guy approaches girl.

Now, the problem here is the girl was never interested, if it hadn't been for the attention. She might develop an interest later on, but I wouldn't want to rely on it. Plus, the imbalance is a great starting point to start simping.

So what you describe as a guy who is not ignoring you, is actually a man who has his eyes on his passions and own life, so you get interested and send signals, and then it happens to be he is interested enough in you to halt for a moment.
 

mikedee

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jun 26, 2022
Messages
774
Reaction score
870
There is a difference between ignoring women and being independent. Ignoring them rarely works in my opinion, they just gonna move to someone else, but being independent is an attractive trait of character.
 

We_ArE_VeNOM

Master Don Juan
Joined
Nov 23, 2022
Messages
1,001
Reaction score
790
Age
39
Ignoring women is a fantastic strategy that works 100% of the time. Since I started ignoring them not one single woman has rejected me.
See, when you are so caught up in trying to make lame jokes, you wind up saying false sh!t like this^.

If the ignoring method does not have women giving you obvious choosing signals then guess what; they ARE rejecting you.
 

We_ArE_VeNOM

Master Don Juan
Joined
Nov 23, 2022
Messages
1,001
Reaction score
790
Age
39
There is a difference between ignoring women and being independent. Ignoring them rarely works in my opinion, they just gonna move to someone else, but being independent is an attractive trait of character.
Nonsense. You are conflating two things that aren't related and comparing them and insinuating that one is better than the other...

Being independent doesn't have sh!t to do with the ignoring method...whatsoever.

So stop it.
 

HaleyBaron

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jan 25, 2021
Messages
2,272
Reaction score
1,955
All of this ignore science is stupid. Just have a purpose and this comes out naturally. I never felt like I was ignoring women until someone pointed it out to me that a girl was interested in me but I wasn't paying attention to her vibes or whatever. I told them I had things to go do that day.
 

mikedee

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jun 26, 2022
Messages
774
Reaction score
870
Nonsense. You are conflating two things that aren't related and comparing them and insinuating that one is better than the other...

Being independent doesn't have sh!t to do with the ignoring method...whatsoever.

So stop it.
You said it, a method, a tactic, mind games. Only losers use that to get women. I don't what you're trying to prove, you look very sensitive to what other people do and think. Like you're trying to show that you know everything, but actually you started to approach and date women a month ago. I was like you when I started my journey in the world of seduction, 15years ago. I wanted to impress people and was not flexible at all. I had to be right about everything, I had the ultimate knowledge. I didn't know sht. But you're 37, weird. You're so invested in proving that you're right, red flag!

Anyway good luck
 

Gamisch

Master Don Juan
Joined
May 2, 2022
Messages
3,070
Reaction score
3,839
What a thread.
- OP is kinda sensitive ( although he DEFINITELY has a point)

-both women are unable to see it torn a male POV.
- experienced members somehow cannot understand the OP. And that's bs.

And as useall the truth is somewhere in the middle. OP clearly stated, you are somehow close to the woman. We are not talking about a complete stranger where there is a 30 seconds window to operate. We're talking about a situation where you'll see her often.

Ofcourse the lesson is women wanna be approached. Nothing new there. Women are receivers, both mentally and physically they gotta allow a man to penetrate. Different ball game.

Both women defending their position, because that is all they know. There never was a day when either Cat or Be woke up and was like" oke I am on a 6 months dryspell I HAVE to do something ". neither they ever considered visiting a prostitute to get their needs met. Also,these women never were " average or below average ". Stll no knock on yall, at least we get an insight how women view this. Its positive encouragement for men with anxiety. " sir , you may talk to me".

Why dont I read about the attractive, arrogant man who likes "to play with his food". I made a post before where both women didn't respond to. I said what about the hottie who by default puts on her mask? Why cant a man use the same strategy? Why must a man play "love poker" and show his cards while the woman keeps her cards out of his sight constantly?

And what about the man who suffers from approach anxiety? It's easy to say,"always shoot your shot " but when a man gets rejected too often it will be detrimental to his self esteem. Or as Venom said, it might even cost him his job,or leads to him being uncomfortable and leave a favorite bar/gym whatever.

Op you might wanna be less aggressive towards fellow members. Yiu are the messenger, the band playing for a crowd. I feel like you are being a bully to people who disagree with you now and then, not necessary imo.
 

The Duke

Master Don Juan
Joined
Feb 4, 2008
Messages
5,259
Reaction score
7,650
Age
47
What a thread.
- OP is kinda sensitive ( although he DEFINITELY has a point)

-both women are unable to see it torn a male POV.
- experienced members somehow cannot understand the OP. And that's bs.

And as useall the truth is somewhere in the middle. OP clearly stated, you are somehow close to the woman. We are not talking about a complete stranger where there is a 30 seconds window to operate. We're talking about a situation where you'll see her often.

Ofcourse the lesson is women wanna be approached. Nothing new there. Women are receivers, both mentally and physically they gotta allow a man to penetrate. Different ball game.

Both women defending their position, because that is all they know. There never was a day when either Cat or Be woke up and was like" oke I am on a 6 months dryspell I HAVE to do something ". neither they ever considered visiting a prostitute to get their needs met. Also,these women never were " average or below average ". Stll no knock on yall, at least we get an insight how women view this. Its positive encouragement for men with anxiety. " sir , you may talk to me".

Why dont I read about the attractive, arrogant man who likes "to play with his food". I made a post before where both women didn't respond to. I said what about the hottie who by default puts on her mask? Why cant a man use the same strategy? Why must a man play "love poker" and show his cards while the woman keeps her cards out of his sight constantly?

And what about the man who suffers from approach anxiety? It's easy to say,"always shoot your shot " but when a man gets rejected too often it will be detrimental to his self esteem. Or as Venom said, it might even cost him his job,or leads to him being uncomfortable and leave a favorite bar/gym whatever.

Op you might wanna be less aggressive towards fellow members. Yiu are the messenger, the band playing for a crowd. I feel like you are being a bully to people who disagree with you now and then, not necessary imo.
Excellent contribution sir. Every word.
 

Gamisch

Master Don Juan
Joined
May 2, 2022
Messages
3,070
Reaction score
3,839
What a thread.
- OP is kinda sensitive ( although he DEFINITELY has a point)

-both women are unable to see it torn a male POV.
- experienced members somehow cannot understand the OP. And that's bs.

And as useall the truth is somewhere in the middle. OP clearly stated, you are somehow close to the woman. We are not talking about a complete stranger where there is a 30 seconds window to operate. We're talking about a situation where you'll see her often.

Ofcourse the lesson is women wanna be approached. Nothing new there. Women are receivers, both mentally and physically they gotta allow a man to penetrate. Different ball game.

Both women defending their position, because that is all they know. There never was a day when either Cat or Be woke up and was like" oke I am on a 6 months dryspell I HAVE to do something ". neither they ever considered visiting a prostitute to get their needs met. Also,these women never were " average or below average ". Stll no knock on yall, at least we get an insight how women view this. Its positive encouragement for men with anxiety. " sir , you may talk to me".

Why dont I read about the attractive, arrogant man who likes "to play with his food". I made a post before where both women didn't respond to. I said what about the hottie who by default puts on her mask? Why cant a man use the same strategy? Why must a man play "love poker" and show his cards while the woman keeps her cards out of his sight constantly?

And what about the man who suffers from approach anxiety? It's easy to say,"always shoot your shot " but when a man gets rejected too often it will be detrimental to his self esteem. Or as Venom said, it might even cost him his job,or leads to him being uncomfortable and leave a favorite bar/gym whatever.

Op you might wanna be less aggressive towards fellow members. Yiu are the messenger, the band playing for a crowd. I feel like you are being a bully to people who disagree with you now and then, not necessary imo.
Its funny, now there is a show called someting like " feckboy or good boy". The format is similar to ex on the beach and temptation island, but now they just ditched the subtlety.

This day and age being a feckboy gives you a better change to pull woman then being a good boy. Women dont realize that they
- want a good looking man
-who has a decent mouthpiece.

And that there is a HUGE change this will be a feckboy. Good boy ( who would be a way better fit for her) will be more reserved . Hence why there is even a Female dating strategy ", where women complain about these feckboys,completely ignoring maybe 70% of men. They just dont understand they narrowed down the market themselves.

Ams has some cred here I geuss. He always says, I DON'T approach cold. I'll be there where women are and get HER give me choosing signals. She must move closer to me, make eye contact ect. Only then he will step towards her and make conversation. He got roasted because there's footage of him walking past some girls. People expect him to have magic spells and be able to magically pull every woman at any moment.
 

Divorced w 3

Master Don Juan
Joined
Nov 20, 2022
Messages
2,156
Reaction score
1,190
What a thread.
- OP is kinda sensitive ( although he DEFINITELY has a point)

-both women are unable to see it torn a male POV.
- experienced members somehow cannot understand the OP. And that's bs.

And as useall the truth is somewhere in the middle. OP clearly stated, you are somehow close to the woman. We are not talking about a complete stranger where there is a 30 seconds window to operate. We're talking about a situation where you'll see her often.

Ofcourse the lesson is women wanna be approached. Nothing new there. Women are receivers, both mentally and physically they gotta allow a man to penetrate. Different ball game.

Both women defending their position, because that is all they know. There never was a day when either Cat or Be woke up and was like" oke I am on a 6 months dryspell I HAVE to do something ". neither they ever considered visiting a prostitute to get their needs met. Also,these women never were " average or below average ". Stll no knock on yall, at least we get an insight how women view this. Its positive encouragement for men with anxiety. " sir , you may talk to me".

Why dont I read about the attractive, arrogant man who likes "to play with his food". I made a post before where both women didn't respond to. I said what about the hottie who by default puts on her mask? Why cant a man use the same strategy? Why must a man play "love poker" and show his cards while the woman keeps her cards out of his sight constantly?

And what about the man who suffers from approach anxiety? It's easy to say,"always shoot your shot " but when a man gets rejected too often it will be detrimental to his self esteem. Or as Venom said, it might even cost him his job,or leads to him being uncomfortable and leave a favorite bar/gym whatever.

Op you might wanna be less aggressive towards fellow members. Yiu are the messenger, the band playing for a crowd. I feel like you are being a bully to people who disagree with you now and then, not necessary imo.
I literally just got out of a lunch meeting with my soon to be ex wife where I agreed to a fair and reasonable set of terms on parenting only for her to say, I’m coming for every last sent financially. So I was like alright well this was an entire waste of time - don’t be fooled guys they are in it for the $$$.
 

Gamisch

Master Don Juan
Joined
May 2, 2022
Messages
3,070
Reaction score
3,839
I literally just got out of a lunch meeting with my soon to be ex wife where I agreed to a fair and reasonable set of terms on parenting only for her to say, I’m coming for every last sent financially. So I was like alright well this was an entire waste of time - don’t be fooled guys they are in it for the $$$.
Yup. Once your biggest love,now your biggest enemy. Just had a case in court against my ex. Surreal experience tbh. Hope it turns out good for you.
 

BadBoy89

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jan 18, 2020
Messages
1,729
Reaction score
2,034
But anyways, here is the concept: when you ignore a woman, it creates a psychological effect that can draw her to you...and thus, you can draw her to you without even saying a word to her.

We shall call this method, the "Ignoring Method".

This method is best suited towards women of whom you are in contact with on a regular basis...

1. At school: She is your classmate.

2. At work: She is your coworker.

3. Public places: She works at a store that you frequent...or a library that you frequent often.

4. Neighbor: She lives in your neighborhood and you see her often.

5. Social circle: She is a family friend that you don't know well but see often, or she is a friend of your friends and you see her often.
So a man has to:

- Be in constant contact with an available, single, attractive girl
- has to look good, dress well, good student or good money
- the girl has to know him and trust him
- the girl has to be attracted to him

Once ALL these are SATISFIED, he should resort to IGNORING her so she ends up liking him?

That’s WAY too much work. If I had all the above, I’d be like “honey, you are NOT a virgin. You got 47 seconds to take off your clothes or get the hell out of my face.”
 

Divorced w 3

Master Don Juan
Joined
Nov 20, 2022
Messages
2,156
Reaction score
1,190
Yup. Once your biggest love,now your biggest enemy. Just had a case in court against my ex. Surreal experience tbh. Hope it turns out good for you.
Looks like she’s going to get a psych evaluation
 

ubercat

Master Don Juan
Joined
Mar 6, 2015
Messages
3,860
Reaction score
2,428
Location
Australia
Wow is this guy going for the record of pissing off the most senior members in one thread. He seems to be missing the foundational social strategy. It's better to make friends than enemies.
 

Gamisch

Master Don Juan
Joined
May 2, 2022
Messages
3,070
Reaction score
3,839
So a man has to:

- Be in constant contact with an available, single, attractive girl
- has to look good, dress well, good student or good money
- the girl has to know him and trust him
- the girl has to be attracted to him

Once ALL these are SATISFIED, he should resort to IGNORING her so she ends up liking him?

That’s WAY too much work. If I had all the above, I’d be like “honey, you are NOT a virgin. You got 47 seconds to take off your clothes or get the hell out of my face.”
Uhm yes he must check all these boxes. That's the burden of being a man. It is what it is. And it's not hard to imagine scenarios where you are in close contact with women you dont necessarily pursue right away; work, gym, hobby, (family/friends) party. Maybe she is in a (dying) LTR. Maybe she needs to be professional.


@kavi Made a great post about it, one I put in my personal collection of best posts. Dont wanna take his word out of context , but I feel like this is what's missing in this conversation. Read it yourself , but my interpretation was so.ething like ME BEINg ME =attraction. So I might as well NOT talk to her and still seduce her. I don't need to jump through any kinda hoops to get her attention. From that POV I might as well "play with my food" any way i like.

You are always ready to interact with any woman on any level. You always look best, smell best, fitness best, financially best, etc. No woman will catch you "off guard". The preparation to what she sees took place YEARS ago.

Soon as I am in close proximity to a woman SMV 6+ its GAME ON.they can't help it , and neither can I help myself,and been like this all my life. I assume at least 3 out of 10 women will be attracted to me ,where ever I go. Sometimes I must ignore women; i cannot be chasing puss 24/7 .
Thinking more on this, I think ignoring might work when a man and woman already know each other, have been interacting with each other (say at work or social circle) and she has an attraction to him, but for whatever reason she’s NOT giving him the necessary choosing signals/IOI for him to ask her out.

The idea being this gets her hamster wheels spinning wondering why he stopped talking to her and is suddenly ignoring her!

And as most people know, at least I do and own it, when a woman starts wondering about a man, and her hamster wheels begin spinning in overdrive, it will drive our attraction higher and push us to either giving him the necessary choosing signals/IOI to ask us out OR she will begin outright chasing him! I have seen it happen both ways.

I don’t believe it will actually create attraction for reasons stated earlier, she has no reference to draw from. Only him ignoring her. The attraction should already be there, at least on some level. My experience.

It goes hand in hand with the two theories - people want what they can't have and/or pull back and the object of our desire will move forward.

I realize Kim Kardashian became attracted to Pete Davidson when he ignored her, but let’s face it, the woman is about as self-absorbed and entitled as they come, I would not recommend basing how women respond to anything a man does on what SHE responds to, lol.

My $.02.
That's why you are a great contributor Cat.
 
Last edited:

ubercat

Master Don Juan
Joined
Mar 6, 2015
Messages
3,860
Reaction score
2,428
Location
Australia
Naughty cat I called out a problem without a solution. So at Xmas lets give peace a chance. For frictionless social interactions here's the

Seven huggy rules of ubercat

https://www.sosuave.net/forum/threads/don-juan-gold-tip-album.91429/page-6. End of page

As always feedback for better is welcome. But let's make it a top 7 as brain can only remember 7 items. And if think really it's a top 5 even better
 

We_ArE_VeNOM

Master Don Juan
Joined
Nov 23, 2022
Messages
1,001
Reaction score
790
Age
39
Wow is this guy going for the record of pissing off the most senior members in one thread.
Yeah, senior members of the forum who are on here giving out freshman-like game.

He seems to be missing the foundational social strategy. It's better to make friends than enemies.
Here is my fundamental life strategy; It is better to live and speak my own truth and make enemies, than live someone else's opinions and make friends.
 
Top