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The psychology behind it all?

ShePays

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I must have a special one then. My grandfather just passed away and I couldn't hold back tears a couple of times when being around a woman I'm seeing. Her maternal side came out and she did what she could to provide comfort. I think it's acceptable to show emotion in situations like this but the important thing is to return to normal. No person man or woman want to be around someone who is moping all the time, no matter what it's about.
Yeah. Don't make a habit out of seeking comfort from a woman. As a general rule, if you need a shoulder to cry on, drink beers with your oldest/closet friend (man), and get it right out of your system... because we give great advice, but we're not too big on the comforting...but, at least, you won't be crying in front of your woman.
 

ShePays

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Thanks for the responses. Unfortunately, my question still remains unanswered.
It's pretty much elemental that women want a solid and consistent man (yin/yang) and not a male equivalent counterpart. And while I agree with the above consensus, this is pretty much a given and does not explain this particular female behavior.

So far, the only theory I can surmise is that certain women may have masculine resentment. envy or jealousy. This is not some veiled way to self-proclaim myself as the poster-adult for masculinity or anything.. but it's the only explanation (so far) that comes to mind. I'm still open to other theories if any one reading this has one.

@Kotaix We share the same theory about avg. to lower IQ men in regards to female lay success. When I want to increase my odds at getting laid with some random gal, I always drink . The drinking isn't due to gaining new-found 'courage'... but because women are attracted to dumb and drinking dulls the brain. Before anyone reading gets into a tizzy and takes personal offense, I'm referring to random lay type women and not potential relationship type women.

Since (so far) the question remains unanswered, I'm going to tag a member that may perhaps offer an alternative perspective. @BeExcellent
The addendum to my previous post in this thread, which I've been meaning to but neglecting to add, is that when men give each other shiit, it isn't necessarily to establish dominance(unless inherently adversarial), so much as to test for camaraderie; on the other hand, when women give men shiit, particularly within a relationship(or its beginning stages), she's testing his dominance. In the odd case when a woman is attempting to assert her own dominance, she has already lost respect for the man, and the relationship has either entered its end stage, or will continue indefinitely, as an undead abomination, until the man either re-asserts dominance(if that's even still possible), or until the more sensible party mercifully puts it out of its misery.

Men test other men, to build armies/civilizations of competent men, who can be relied on to fulfill their roles, large or small, whether standing watch on the wall, leading armies into battles, leading civilization into productive peace, or building the walls on which the watchtowers stand. A man can recruit other men up or down, as long as there is a needed role he can competently and loyally perform.

When women give men shiit, they are testing for leadership. They aren't trying to fill any number of roles. They aren't organization builders, and aren't just as happy to meet a ditch-digger as a plumber, as a doctor, as a lawyer. They only have one opening to fill. They're looking for a daddy.

Of course, little of any of this ever occurs on the conscious level. It's mostly hardwired and automatic.
 

Howiestern

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Very good. There were some psychological tricks and manipulations that are "their" bread and butter and go tos. Many have anxiety, they will try to get on your nerves to give you anxiety and some how thru the power of psychology it reduces theirs. They are highly stressed, they will dump a big pile of dung on you to stress you highly, and somehow thru "transference" they feel less stress and you feel more. They do these tricks for a lot of their feelings. Guilt, inadequacy, fear, etc.
In the book Women are from Venus, Men are from Mars it talks about this in the context of how women deal with problems. They form groups and/or use other individuals to offload stress. Men don't. Men isolate and use physical activity to blow off steam.
 

Pavlitow

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In a way it seems to be like we would feel about male leaders that we pick. If a boss, mentor or political leader you look up to was to break down and show sadness, powerlessness we might feels sorry for them but lose respect?
mid that makes sense women have feelings for us as long as we can remains the leader she can look up to?
 

dude99

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I‘ve experienced a similiar situation last year.

When my mother got sick and I had to cancel the wedding and needed time for myself she went ballistic against me. She openly told me, she‘s pissed because she‘s not the focus of my life.

I‘m reading lots of parallels regarding this situation in this thread.

Bad relationship to her father, fear of abandonment, missing attention, loss of control...

Hope I‘ve got some time these days to go in deeper on this thread.
I hope you didnt marry her after that display of deplorable behaviour.

Your paragraph describing her, bad relationship with her father, fear of abandonment, ect etc.....that is the recipe for Borderline personality disorder.
 

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xplt

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I hope you didnt marry her after that display of deplorable behaviour.

Your paragraph describing her, bad relationship with her father, fear of abandonment, ect etc.....that is the recipe for Borderline personality disorder.
I ended this relationship last july. She was unable to forgive me the canceled wedding and one night out with the buddies without her. It was impossible to find a solution with her, whatever I tried failed. She made an on-off thing out of our relationship and did other things that killed my trust completely. Paradox behavior like harsh discussions till exhaustion and wanting to cuddle afterwards, discussing our problems in front of her whole family... I had finally enough and left her. If I knew what I know today, I had seen this coming. The way she treated me in the end was kind of the same treatment her father gets from her
 

BeExcellent

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Thanks for the responses. Unfortunately, my question still remains unanswered.
It's pretty much elemental that women want a solid and consistent man (yin/yang) and not a male equivalent counterpart. And while I agree with the above consensus, this is pretty much a given and does not explain this particular female behavior.

So far, the only theory I can surmise is that certain women may have masculine resentment. envy or jealousy. This is not some veiled way to self-proclaim myself as the poster-adult for masculinity or anything.. but it's the only explanation (so far) that comes to mind. I'm still open to other theories if any one reading this has one.

@Kotaix We share the same theory about avg. to lower IQ men in regards to female lay success. When I want to increase my odds at getting laid with some random gal, I always drink . The drinking isn't due to gaining new-found 'courage'... but because women are attracted to dumb and drinking dulls the brain. Before anyone reading gets into a tizzy and takes personal offense, I'm referring to random lay type women and not potential relationship type women.

Since (so far) the question remains unanswered, I'm going to tag a member that may perhaps offer an alternative perspective. @BeExcellent
My apologies for arriving late to this thread. I missed the alert due to goings on in my personal affairs. I agree strongly with @metalwater in his analysis. Real strength from a real man, a solid man reveals itself in vulnerability. A woman must have tremendous respect for a man in order to comfort him, defend him, nurture him and protect him in his vulnerable moments. She is his safe harbor and his guardian during these times.

Think of the movie Walk the Line and the scene where June Carter Cash runs bad men off at gunpoint while Johnny Cash is laid up going through drug withdrawals. That his being his protector and guardian during his vulnerability and that should be revered. She is his champion in that moment because of her love and respect for him.

A woman who deeply loves and respects her man will nuture, support, protect and defend him in his trials and his times where life is difficult, burdensome and uncertain. She is steadfast and loyal.

If she picks at him she doesn’t love him or respect him. If a woman acts as @Black Widow Void notes in his OP? She’s seeking to exploit you as a man.

Run fast and run far from her.

Real love is rooted in respect and will nuture, defend and protect no matter what emotions a man needs to show. She is his safe place to do so.
 
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