The problem with "choosing signals"

[mrskinnypantz]

Is what exactly?

What's wrong with scanning for choosing signals? When you want something too much , you end up ruining it. Has she done any casual flirting, touching or anything that says she may be interested? If the answer is no , then why bother? She probably isn't sexually or Romantically attracted to you .

You can still try anyway and I wouldn't hate you for doing it. Maybe she's conservative and doesn't send out choosing signals or maybe she feels like she doesn't have to

 

[Striker_93]

There's 2 sides to everything and pros and cons to both.

Some girls don't make the first move, some girls are shy, some girls are intimidated by you(if you have high SMV) some girls are waiting for you to come to them first ect.

On the other hand, when a girl wants to fvck a guy or is interested then she will usually make it known, this hurts lots of guys egos but it's true.

when a girl wants you she will actively seduce you, for the non believers, I have experienced it and have always had high status/high smv friends who I've seen it happen with, if it's hard to believe then said person should except his low smv then work to increase it so he can then see how aggressive women can be.

So you see ? There two sides to this, either way, it's not worth the discussion(it's been talked to death) find what works for you, different strokes for different folks, there's more than 1 way to skin a cat.

 

[fastlife]

Waiting for choosing signals is a passive mindset that limits your options and places the girl in the driver's seat. It's basically prioritizing her frame over yours. Furthermore, generally speaking, the hottest girls are going to give the least obvious interest--or even convey active disinterest since they have more social value at risk and are actively screening for guys who feel entitled to them and don't have to base their confidence off of external feedback.

Furthermore, most guys suck d1ck at reading interest to begin with--so they're probably not even seeing those choosing signals the vast majority of the time. Furthermore, girls have gotten worse at conveying interest and less socially attuned in general. Furthermore, you're way more likely to get choosing signals from girls who are low SMV and it's easy to rationalize those girls as what you want out--or what you deserve--out of fear of rejection (same thing that happens in OLD, which is also safe and low effort--most guys end up batting way below their potential). Furthermore, sometimes girls don't even notice you because they're talking to their friends, or trying to order drinks, or whatever else.

Now, should you totally ignore a girl's body language or overall receptivity pre-approach? No, that information can help you structure your approach and sometimes you can get some really good layups just from paying attention. But I shoot my shot REGARDLESS lol--because you never know and some of my peak experiences with women were with girls who didn't convey interest or give me much to work with until I ran my mouth a little bit. And rejection is free--it's costs are totally imaginary unless you're at work or some sh1t, so it's all potential upside with no downside.

 

[mrskinnypantz]

Waiting for choosing signals is a passive mindset that limits your options and places the girl in the driver's seat. It's basically prioritizing her frame over yours. Furthermore, generally speaking, the hottest girls are going to give the least obvious interest--or even convey active disinterest since they have more social value at risk and are actively screening for guys who feel entitled to them and don't have to base their confidence off of external feedback.

You're not supposed to "wait" for choosing signals , you are supposed to recognize them and man up and make the approach.
Going after a woman who displays "active disinterest" is a direct reflection of what you feel you deserve and screams desperate and needy
Especially if they have high social value, she thinks her value is higher than yours ...you have been disqualified at that point.
True confidence comes from positive reinforcement and real life success.
Otherwise you're just delusional and you're bullsh1tting yourself. And if guys can tell , you know the women are picking up on it.
If you do manage to somehow weasel your way in you're not gonna get that good s£x , it will just be something for her to do when she's bored. And if you decide to take her seriously , she will inevitably break it off or cheat. Not because she's evil, but because she was never interested in the first place.

 

[Striker_93]

You're not supposed to "wait" for choosing signals , you are supposed to recognize them and man up and make the approach.
Going after a woman who displays "active disinterest" is a direct reflection of what you feel you deserve and screams desperate and needy
Especially if they have high social value, she thinks her value is higher than yours ...you have been disqualified at that point.
True confidence comes from positive reinforcement and real life success.
Otherwise you're just delusional and you're bullsh1tting yourself. And if guys can tell , you know the women are picking up on it.
If you do manage to somehow weasel your way in you're not gonna get that good s£x , it will just be something for her to do when she's bored. And if you decide to take her seriously , she will inevitably break it off or cheat. Not because she's evil, but because she was never interested in the first place.

This guy gets it

 

[fastlife]

You're not supposed to "wait" for choosing signals , you are supposed to recognize them and man up and make the approach.

And if you don't get choosing signals? You're waiting lmao. But you can rationalize it however you want.

Going after a woman who displays "active disinterest" is a direct reflection of what you feel you deserve and screams desperate and needy

Nope. I know that she'll probably like me--even if she doesn't know it yet (not always true obv--but often enough). Idgaf about what her perception is of me before I open my mouth--or after, for that matter, but that's a much more accurate indicator.

Especially if they have high social value, she thinks her value is higher than yours ...you have been disqualified at that point.

Nope. You've disqualified yourself if you're basing your social value on her perception of it...or worse yet your narrative about her perception of it based on her outward behavior before you show her what you're about. Plus, perception is perception, it's dynamic, it can be manipulated--largely people determine your social value by your behavior and how others react to you, both of those are more demonstrable over time.

True confidence comes from positive reinforcement and real life success.

Lol. Now you're sounding like a fortune cookie.

Otherwise you're just delusional and you're bullsh1tting yourself. And if guys can tell , you know the women are picking up on it.

Successful people are always "delusional" until they get results. But, nah, no longer delusional at this point.

If you do manage to somehow weasel your way in you're not gonna get that good s£x , it will just be something for her to do when she's bored.

Lol you're only fvcking girls who only show strong initial interest...how would you know?

And if you decide to take her seriously , she will inevitably break it off or cheat. Not because she's evil, but because she was never interested in the first place.

More KJing. I'm talking about the first 5-15 minutes. Sometimes you have obvious interest and high compliance, sometimes you don't--both of those can change over time.

 

[Bigpapa]

And if you don't get choosing signals? You're waiting lmao. But you can rationalize it however you want.



Nope. I know that she'll probably like me--even if she doesn't know it yet (not always true obv--but often enough). Idgaf about what her perception is of me before I open my mouth--or after, for that matter, but that's a much more accurate indicator.



Nope. You've disqualified yourself if you're basing your social value on her perception of it...or worse yet your narrative about her perception of it based on her outward behavior before you show her what you're about. Plus, perception is perception, it's dynamic, it can be manipulated--largely people determine your social value by your behavior and how others react to you, both of those are more demonstrable over time.



Lol. Now you're sounding like a fortune cookie.



Successful people are always "delusional" until they get results. But, nah, no longer delusional at this point.



Lol you're only fvcking girls who only show strong initial interest...how would you know?



More KJing. I'm talking about the first 5-15 minutes. Sometimes you have obvious interest and high compliance, sometimes you don't--both of those can change over time.

it is irrelevant if she gives you iois or not , as long as she gives you the opportunity to seduce her and is compliant

High smv women are the hardest to read . Actually women in general are very difficult to be read by guys

Look at most of the questions men have about women “ does she like me or not ? “

once I have dated a girl that was super shy . She did not any iois . Actually she looked like a scared cat when I was talking , and at some point I even asked her if she understands what I am saying

she was super interested

If I would have followed advices from people that mental masturbate , j would have said that she is not interested

 

[mrskinnypantz]

And if you don't get choosing signals? You're waiting lmao. But you can rationalize it however you want.

If you don't get choosing signals you dont worry about it, why would I waste my time worrying about someone who has showed disinterest wether actively or indirectly?

or worse yet your narrative about her perception of it based on her outward behavior before you show her what you're about.

Me trying to show her what I'm about is essentially me trying to earn her. I've had a girl tell me once "you're the one who approached me " the second I began to rebel on her bullsh1t , because she had the leverage ,it wasn't mutual
I'm only going to show her what I'm about if she's interested in getting to know what I'm about. At least moderately

Lol you're only fvcking girls who only show strong initial interest...how would you know?

I've fvcked chicks with 50 or lower percent interest ,but it took longer




Lmaoo no you're the fortune cookie

"confidence comes from within" no tf it doesn't lol
Confidence comes from having repeated success , not repeated failures or rejections.

 

[Bigpapa]

If you don't get choosing signals you dont worry about it, why would I waste my time worrying about someone who has showed disinterest wether actively or indirectly?

I believe that not caring if you get any Ioi is part of the advanced game , because only then you will have a good understanding about your own smv and also how to be socially savvy

without knowing these 2 things you will always think if it is because of your smv or it is because your verbal game is still not there

also but not having a good idea about these 2 things you also have a high chance of appearing like a creep

 

[bat soup]

Is what exactly?

What's wrong with scanning for choosing signals? When you want something too much , you end up ruining it. Has she done any casual flirting, touching or anything that says she may be interested? If the answer is no , then why bother? She probably isn't sexually or Romantically attracted to you .

You can still try anyway and I wouldn't hate you for doing it. Maybe she's conservative and doesn't send out choosing signals or maybe she feels like she doesn't have to

Women are passive. If males also become passive, the human race will become extinct in about 50 years.

 

[Bigpapa]

Women are passive. If males also become passive, the human race will become extinct in about 50 years.

nope , when a woman likes you , unless you are retarded you will know

but mainly you will get laid within social circles , like in the high school years

 

[mrskinnypantz]

nope , when a woman likes you , unless you are retarded you will know

 

[Bigpapa]

not when you barely meet her . When you first meet her compliance is the only thing that matters

You will only have a good idea if she likes you or not in a social circle environment

women , if she is not a flirtatious and thus a tease , have little to no idea about how to flirt with a guy that they barely met

 

[DonJuanjr]

Its called "flirting" and these autistic numbskulls over complicate it.

It's because they are not socially adept, and no one goes in to detail about such an esoteric thing like flirting. It seems obvious to those who are socially aware, but then if these guys were, they wouldn't be on the spectrum would they.

 

[derringerG]

Is what exactly?

What's wrong with scanning for choosing signals? When you want something too much , you end up ruining it. Has she done any casual flirting, touching or anything that says she may be interested? If the answer is no , then why bother? She probably isn't sexually or Romantically attracted to you .

You can still try anyway and I wouldn't hate you for doing it. Maybe she's conservative and doesn't send out choosing signals or maybe she feels like she doesn't have to

1. the lower your SMV, the fewer of these "choosing signals" you will get. Therefore, average to below average looking guys will be waiting inordinately long periods in between "choosing signals"

2. "choosing signals" tend to become more obvious and common in specific situations and during specific times: if you don't like going to bars and clubs during late night hours on weekends, again, you'll likely receive relatively few of these signs

3. most girls are very aware of their surroundings for obvious reasons, but they have work, school, chores and travel they need to attend to and they can't constantly scan for guys they are interested in during every waking moment

If you are VERY high on the SMV scale, then yes, you can rely solely on "choosing signals" if you so choose. For the 90 to 99% of guys who are not, you cannot.

 

[Striker_93]

It's because they are not socially adept, and no one goes in to detail about such an esoteric thing like flirting. It seems obvious to those who are socially aware, but then if these guys were, they wouldn't be on the spectrum would they.

Sucks for them.......

Only the strong survive, the weak will perish.

Nobody tells them the truth, everyone is not meant to be good with women, just like everyone can't be rich, everyone not going to the NBA.

 

[mrskinnypantz]

1. the lower your SMV, the fewer of these "choosing signals" you will get. Therefore, average to below average looking guys will be waiting inordinately long periods in between "choosing signals"

Here we go , this is the real issue

if you're not getting choosing signals why not raise your smv?

not every man is going to be a 10 but there's always room for improvement.
If you really want to date hot women you should put effort into your raising your SMV , there's no excuse for not wanting to improve your life , even outside of dating.

 

[BadBoy89]

If you really want to date hot women you should put effort into your raising your SMV

How do you do that?

 

[DonJuanjr]

Yes and If you go outside enough to parties, festivals, bars, clubs etc. You will gain the fundamental exposure

People that aren't on the spectrum sure. Are you sure that would help for those who are on the spectrum? I knew an autistic person, and all throughout social interaction in school, he didn't improve significantly by observation. He was diagnosed with "social autism" not even full blown... I'd think they would need specific examples to get a frame work. Like the other poster said, they could be lost causes, but you can't blame them for being on the site, and wanting to improve.

 

[DonJuanjr]

Im not specifically talking autism here. If you really have autism seak professional help. Im reffering to a normzl zone of people getting out of their comfort zone

I'm not autistic.

I was talking about autism though. I was replying to your "autistic numbskulls" comment. I feel sorry for the guy I knew, being autistic and not having a chance at getting much pusssy throughout his life. He didn't make the decision to be autistic. So instead of criticism for people that didn't make that decision, how about have some empathy for them. If they don't "get it" then explain it to them.

Criticize the obese fvcks that did it to themselves. I don't care about that.