"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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The problem is not that girls don't know how to love, but rather...

T

Trader

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The problem is not that girls don't know how to love, but rather girls don't know how to be grateful.

In general, men are active, women are passive.

To love someone is to be active - that is masculinity

To be loved, or more specifically, to be grateful - that is femininity

The problem is not so much that girls don't know how to love, it is that girls don't know how to be grateful for what her bf/husband/ or even men in general do for her.

A prototypical example is the feminists. They show absolutely no gratitude towards the sacrifices, innovations, and hard work, that men in general have poured out. And thus they become very unattractive in our eyes.

I think most of us guys would willingly work hard for the girl we care about, IF ONLY she would show gratitude for what we have done.

The disillusionment guys face is that they work so hard for the girl, and the girl is simply unappreciative and starts to complain about other things. Then we think: 'Why bother?' and then we think: 'Ok, whoever puts less effort in the relationship always wins.' And then the downward spiral starts.

A good litmus test to use on girls, is to see if she is grateful for what others do for her. For example, if a waiter provides extra good service, is she grateful or does she just act like a spoiled brat?

I've learned that gratitude is a beautiful character trait and I definitely need to screen girls on this.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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D

DMSR76

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I think you're on to something. The service occupation litmus test is always a biggie for me. There's nothing that chaps my hide more that a woman who is rude to hostesses, waiters, etc. without the slightest provocation. It reveals a lot about her sense of entitlement, and about her recognition of the Golden Rule.
 
5

5string

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Have to agree here on most everything. My wife is grateful for the things I bring to the relationship. Steady job, killer home, fun, respectful, etc. She shows her appreciation in many ways. Get's up and makes me breakfast every morning. Dinner is usually on when I come home. I don't come home to sweats and flip flops either. It's heels, designer jeans or dresses. Nice tops. We sit and talk for long periods of time when I get home from work and we both like that. Tomorrow I am taking her to New Orleans with me on business. She's packing her little black dress and we are both excited to do this together as she's never been there. Feminists would not approve of our masculine/feminine relationship, however, we both contribute and have accepted our respective roles. Works for us bigtime. She also likes the fact that I'm a guy's guy. Jeans n T shirts when I'm at the house. Hunt, fish, musician. Do alot of things for her, and she really really enjoys/likes that. Forget the flip flop gals and gitcha an HB who wears heels and takes care of herself.
 
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T

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5string said:
Have to agree here on most everything. My wife is grateful for the things I bring to the relationship. Steady job, killer home, fun, respectful, etc. She shows her appreciation in many ways. Get's up and makes me breakfast every morning. Dinner is usually on when I come home. I don't come home to sweats and flip flops either. It's heels, designer jeans or dresses. Nice tops. We sit and talk for long periods of time when I get home from work and we both like that. Tomorrow I am taking her to New Orleans with me on business. She's packing her little black dress and we are both excited to do this together as she's never been there. Feminists would not approve of our masculine/feminine relationship, however, we both contribute and have accepted our respective roles. Works for us bigtime. She also likes the fact that I'm a guy's guy. Jeans n T shirts when I'm at the house. Hunt, fish, musician. Do alot of things for her, and she really really enjoys/likes that. Forget the flip flop gals and gitcha an HB who wears heels and takes care of herself.
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That's a great story to hear. I think she chooses to put effort in her appearance as a way to show her gratitude for all you have done for her. A guy will definitely appreciate that.

Yes, your relationship is completely natural, you just be the man you were meant to be, and it appears that your wife knows 'how to be a girl.' No wonder your relationship is successful.
 

"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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Colossus

Colossus

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5string said:
Have to agree here on most everything. My wife is grateful for the things I bring to the relationship. Steady job, killer home, fun, respectful, etc. She shows her appreciation in many ways. Get's up and makes me breakfast every morning. Dinner is usually on when I come home. I don't come home to sweats and flip flops either. It's heels, designer jeans or dresses. Nice tops. We sit and talk for long periods of time when I get home from work and we both like that. Tomorrow I am taking her to New Orleans with me on business. She's packing her little black dress and we are both excited to do this together as she's never been there. Feminists would not approve of our masculine/feminine relationship, however, we both contribute and have accepted our respective roles. Works for us bigtime. She also likes the fact that I'm a guy's guy. Jeans n T shirts when I'm at the house. Hunt, fish, musician. Do alot of things for her, and she really really enjoys/likes that. Forget the flip flop gals and gitcha an HB who wears heels and takes care of herself.
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Good to hear some WIN.
 
W

WaterTiger

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The Muslims say hell is full of ungrateful women!

I mean really! Is it that hard to say "thank you"? Buy his favorite cookies for no reason (or bake them!) it's the little things that makes life good!
 
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22 Rules for Massive Success With Women
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