long story short, i've dating this girl for like 2 months we had an INCREDIBLE time together, things began turning cold for the past week, yesterday we decided to talk to see what was going on, and she told me her ex bf began to call her again saying her a lot of things btw she broke with him like 7 months ago and only stayed together like 3 months, she told me she wanted everything with me that I was better than him in all aspects and all that BS but she felt something for him and wanted to "clear" those feelings before we started something serious, I felt betrayed and disappointed, told her to fix her problems and i left, what do you guys think? should I stop talking to her, or should I fight for what I want, I get mixed tips from my friends and I dont know what to follow. thanks
Why "Whatever You Want" Keeps You Single
She says the movie looks dumb; you suddenly agree. She tests you with a little attitude; you apologize for nothing.
You think you're being easy to get along with. She reads something else entirely: a man with no edges. Nothing to hold on to. No friction, no tension, no reason to wonder what he really thinks.
The "22 Rules" taught me to push back — playfully, calmly, without needing her approval. Strange things happened after that.
The power of the ex-bf
- Thread starter david_r
- Start date
"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"
When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.
Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.
Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.
The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.
girlsarecrazy
Senior Don Juan
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Never fight for what you want through words.
Have this mindset: She's not going anywhere, she will not just get over you in one day.
Now what i am suggesting is to go on a break, end phone conversations, don't call her, try to keep busy, and act like you are living with your normal life happily. Don't get jealous, don't confess how much you love her, etc. It will drive her intrest level up and I think you will do fine.
Have this mindset: She's not going anywhere, she will not just get over you in one day.
Now what i am suggesting is to go on a break, end phone conversations, don't call her, try to keep busy, and act like you are living with your normal life happily. Don't get jealous, don't confess how much you love her, etc. It will drive her intrest level up and I think you will do fine.
yeah I think thats the better thing to do, and once again i have proved that women are emotion driven and thats what i cant understand she told me logic told her to go with me but she still had some insecurity, im better than his ex in every way that you guys know, looks, money-power, personality etc and still with all this in my side he was able to plant some insecurity in her and thats what disappoints me.
The Bad Ass Canadian
Master Don Juan
I've been in that situation a few times. It always sucks when the ex BF decides to try and get involved again. You meet somone who you click with really well and everything is great for a month or two, then bam... the Ex is back in the picture.
My advice is to just cut her off. Tell her you won't have anything to do with a triangle and that it's entirely for her to work her sh!t out. Tell her you really think she's a great girl and that there's the potential for you two to share something good, but you won't have any part of her issues with her ex. If, and when she sorts it out, she can come find you.
Leave it at that.
You save your pride and you tell her exactly how it's gonna be.
You need to stick to this plan, too. Cut her off, until she comes back. If she doesn't come around in a few weeks, move on.
My advice is to just cut her off. Tell her you won't have anything to do with a triangle and that it's entirely for her to work her sh!t out. Tell her you really think she's a great girl and that there's the potential for you two to share something good, but you won't have any part of her issues with her ex. If, and when she sorts it out, she can come find you.
Leave it at that.
You save your pride and you tell her exactly how it's gonna be.
You need to stick to this plan, too. Cut her off, until she comes back. If she doesn't come around in a few weeks, move on.
"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
Francisco d'Anconia
Master Don Juan
This is why you should never be the "rebound guy."
I hate to say it brother, but you're probably screwed. UNLESS she is a really honest, loyal and confident chick who can DECIDE once and for all to let the ex go forever and be with you. Unfortunately, most chicks are NOT like this, and even if you tell her that she cannot talk to him and she agrees, she still might behind your back. It's an ugly truth, but it's there nonetheless, so you should know about it. My advice: don't get into anything serious with her right now. Don't force her to do anything. Let some time pass and if she comes to you and tells you ON HER OWN that she's decided to let him go for good, then you know you've got something. This is the only way it's going to work; it has to be HER decidion, of her own FREE WILL.
Francisco d'Anconia
Master Don Juan
No, not at all (unless you are a vulture circling around her relationship to be the first to pick at it's carcass). If you find out that a woman is just out of a LTR, put her low on you sarge list. See her enough just to let her remember you.mountain said:won't you always be the rebound guy with any reasonably attractive girl?
Some other guy will jump up quickly to go out with her a handful of times until her baggage makes them leave or she decides to go back to her ex. Either way, let her get her dating legs under her again and get the ex out of her system before you put any serious effort into her.
"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."
Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.
Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?
You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.
Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.