The power of knowing what is true

[Dryden]

Many times we try to achieve something with someone when the thing we try to achieve is already so. This is not knowing where you are and not knowing your condition.

You may say to a girl "Then you'll have to come and be with me" when the appropriate thing would have been to say "Then don't leave me like that."

The difference is that the first communicates that she is currently /not/ with you, while the latter recognises that she IS currently with you.

The difference is profound, because, in realisation that the first issues a statement of distance (when none is there) it can only CREATE that distance that didn't even exist. In this case (suppose the girl is walking past you complaining about the cold, as someone just was here) recognising that you don't need her to come near you, you just need to prevent her from leaving you: that's a different thing.

Not letting her leave recognises that she is with you and wants to be with you. Implying that she has to come to you suggests that she is not with you and does not want to be with you (in this case).

So you are communicating an untruth. At least I just was .

Very sorry. Very very sorry. Makes her feel lonely and alienated. I guess. But what do I know, I didn't ask her .

 

[Skyline]

"Assuming the sale."

I wouldn't go as far as to 'force her not to leave' but saying/implying that she is already with you is pretty a confident trait in my opinion.

 

[Dryden]

The idea is that circumstances are usually better than what you think it to be.

You can usually get away with more than what you think. In the sense that recognising what IS provides the path to the golden future.

 

[Chris80pitt]

answer

"Assuming the sale."

I wouldn't go as far as to 'force her not to leave' but saying/implying that she is already with you is pretty a confident trait in my opinion.

Yeah, I agree on that