"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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The Power of Belief

Pimp101

Don Juan
Joined
Oct 27, 2005
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Belief

Belief is the single most powerful component of the human mind. Don’t believe me? Just try to convert a devout Christian to Atheism. Assuming that you gave up some way through the process, welcome back.

Beliefs shape our reality. They affect how we see things, the decisions we make, and the actions we perform. They have more effect on our lives than you can imagine. Keeping that in mind, ask yourself this: If you intellectually understand why you can’t approach women, if you understand why you’re insecure, why it is that no matter how much logic you apply to the problem, no matter how many reasons you give yourself not to be afraid, you still are?

That’s right, kids – you’re addressing the effect rather then the cause of the problem. The effect being the fear that you experience. The cause being your BELIEFS. If you believe deep down that you’re a loser, then no amount of logical arguments, no matter how much money you have, what car you drive or how big your biceps are will change it - because it is a BELIEF. Beliefs are concrete (that’s not to say that they can’t be reshaped with the right tools).

You might have heard the statement “Attraction is not a choice”. Similarly, FEAR IS NOT A CHOICE. You do not chose to be afraid, therefore it is impossible to logically convince yourself not to be afraid. Logic is used to manipulate ideas, but ideas and beliefs are two very different things. Beliefs are based on emotion, and in exactly the same way as you can’t convince a girl to feel certain emotions towards you with logic, you can’t change your beliefs with logic.

Ever been in a club standing around the dance floor with your friends checking out all the fly hunny’s, trying to psyche yourself up to actually approach? Notice how it never works? You’re trying to change your beliefs with logic! So stop trying to psyche yourself up and instead, change your beliefs to support your desired outcome. The rest will flow.

Now, that’s not to say that you should be a pvssy and not approach if you’ve got the slightest bit of anxiety :nono:. You gotta get yourself out in the field no matter what. But my point is that everything starts with BELIEFS.

Belief -> Thought -> Action

That’s how it goes.

So I hear you ask – How the hell do I change my beliefs!? No doubt, everyone will have their own strategies for this but to get started look to NLP. Heres a couple of links to get you started:

http://www.trans4mind.com/personal_development/mindMastery/changingBeliefs.htm
http://www2.hawaii.edu/~lady/archive/changing-beliefs.html


:rockon:
 

"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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brewbaron

Don Juan
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Oct 20, 2003
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good post man. its so true. you gotta get at the base of the problem. negative self-image makes things infinitely harder.

great book about that topic >>> psycho-cybernetics .. check it out
 
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