The ONLY THING that makes something you say or do look weird or stupid...

[Duke]

Sometimes I have flashes of greatness. I had some tonight.
When I'm totally laid back and comfortable with myself, *I* *am* *awesome.*

If you still feel anxiety, then you are insecure about something. Figure out what it is and do something about it. Expect people to like you and find you funny and cool. Be expressive. Rock the boat.

An example of when I was "on" tonight:
I'm walking back to my dorm and I see a HB8 and a HB6 WALK OUT OF THE MEN'S room with the amog who wore the spongebob pants (long story haha
He tries to get social proof from me by going "hey man what up?" And I look at the girls and go "Hello, Gentlemen!" with a big smirk. And amog goes, "Gentlemen?!" and looks at the girls like I'm stupid, trying to get the frame. I ignore him totally and look at the girls and go "Yeah, ya'll just walked out of the men's room" and the HB8 cracked up. And I felt that I was the fvcking man
Not only because I was funny and laidback, but because I just PASSED BY and OWNED THE FRAME
I didn't even need to get in a conversation. Just wam bam thank you mam. Attraction spike from HB8

All because I just said what flowed and DIDNT GIVE A SH!T.
I wasn't scared that I would look stupid. Or that they wouldn't like me.

Cuz frankly I *DID* *NOT* *CARE*. Cuz I am internally validated. I know im cool and that people like me and want to be around me, so its not a problem.

Thing is, people will only like you and want to be around you once you assume that they do and don't give a sh!t. Thus the paradox that you must break by changing your thinking to match what you want to see happen in reality
Manifesting reality...

Thing is, they aren't going to think you're dumb if you SAY something truly stupid. Alpha guys say the DUMBEST sh!t and HBs think its HILARIOUS. I'm sure you can think of that alpha class clown guy who was very very stupid, but who all the girls laughed at. Everything out of his mouth was brainless. Yet they thought he was funny as all hell.

You can say ANYTHING, and I mean ANYTHING as long as YOU assume it's cool and truly believe it and DON'T seek approval.

**The ONLY THING that makes something you say or do look weird or stupid is if you are unsure about what you are saying or doing or if you are seeking approval.**

Then people SENSE that underlying motive that you're seeking their approval and they lose respect for you.
So be expressive, project with your voice, use natural facial expressions, be relaxed, and say what comes to mind.
And people will think ur the greatest thing since sliced bread.

That's what happens when I'm "on." And thats wht I've figured out.

I could go into a girl's dorm room right now and just bust open the door and go "hey guys, newsflash... IM GAY!! who wants to try to convert me?!" with a big sh!t-eating grin on my face and if I said it with enough confidence and enthusiasm, WITHOUT WAVERING, I would have them in a wonderful state, giggling and sh!t-testing me
If i said the same thing, but I slowly opened the door and peeked in.. then i looked around all nervous and had a static facial expression and a monotone voice, they would just think i was weird.

It will come to you naturally when you are comfortable with yourself. This is all within you.

You KNOW what it takes to get girls.

**In general, I have found that the FREER a man is, the more girls like him.
The more inhibited, the less **

Be comfortable with yourself! Say what you want, and kino.
But do it without hesitation and with enthusiasm
And it will seem COOL regardless of what it is you're saying or doing.

**SHE WILL BE COMFORTABLE IF YOU ARE COMFORTABLE.
SHE WILL BE UNCOMFORTABLE IF YOU IF YOU ARE UNCOMFORTABLE. **

**You don't realize much power to influence and move people you have. **

**People RESPECT YOU if you hold them in your frame and they enjoy it because it's positive and they feel good because of it. **

It doesn't matter if its girls or guys, either.

Hold these concepts in mind, especially the ones offset by stars, and watch your game improve itself.

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These are the most important things in this post:

1. The ONLY THING that makes something you say or do look weird or stupid is if you are unsure about what you are saying or doing or if you are seeking approval.

2. The FREER a man is, the more girls like him. The more inhibited, the less.

3. She will be comfortable if you are comfortable. She will be uncomfortable if you are uncomfortable.

4. You most likely don't realize much power to influence and move people you really have.

5. People RESPECT YOU if they feel good and enjoy themselves in your frame. For this reason, don't hesitate to stay in your frame and welcome others to join you.

 

[Duke]

Moderator: This was a double-post. Please delete this reply.

 

[Duke]

Originally posted by Sazuki
Nice read Duke. You're right about if you are anxious you have some work to do, simple point but sometimes easy to forget and so you stay inside some comfort-zone without really realising it. I still have this fear of talking to a group of people, but I will handle that this year.

Some questions; what is a DHV? And what are some good articles/posts about frames? I never really thought about frames but after reading your post I realise the importance of knowing what frame you are in or what you have created.

Also is the mystery method downloadable somewhere? Or is it seminar only?

Seems you're doing good duke, keep it up!

A DHV is anything that Displays Higher Value. A DHV story might be a story about how you went sky-diving or how you saved a friend from drowning. DHVs can also come in the form of frame dominance, cool clothes, vocal projection, etc.

Frames are very important. I reccomend listening to David Deangelo's advanced audio series to learn more about it. You should also be able to find a lot about frames by doing a search on fastseduction.com

For Mystery Method, do an archive search on fastseduction.com and type "Mystery" into the 'Author' field. You should find it in the first page of results.

-Duke

 

[Bonhomme]

Displaying Higher Value

Good post. Lots of good stuff in there.

The paradox about displaying higher value is that most guys' attempts to do so by talking actually end up displaying lower value. Better to show than tell.

 

[Brak86]

i dont know what i wouldve done if i hadnt joined this forum. This post, along with many others are helping me slowly change my life for the better. As silly as it might sound, I feel very fortunate to be on this forum.

great advice my man.

 

[The Monkey]

Oh yeah, I totally agree. It's all in the way you say it.

Last night I was at Chess Club and a 10 year old started using the table as a drum. Mom looked over and said "Is that you?" - I replied, without thinking about whether it would make me look stupid or not, "No mom, that's me 6 years ago." I could hear the girls off to my left just cracking up!

I would say the key to humor is 1/3rd being aware of your suroundings and 2/3rds completely believing that you are cool and not caring what others think about you.

 

[Duke]

Thanks for the props, Bonhomme and Brak! Soda, what Bonhomme meant was that it's much more powerful to SHOW some accomplishment or attractive attribute rather than just say it.

Instead of saying "I'm a funny guy" tell a funny story.

If you're RICH, then instead of saying "Look at me, look at all these cars I own!" it would be much more powerful to just pull up in a Ferrari or just tell her that you don't work when she asks what you do.

Monkey-Man, you got the essence of my post and summed it up in a paragraph!

"I would say the key to humor is 1/3rd being aware of your suroundings and 2/3rds completely believing that you are cool and not caring what others think about you."

YES! Very cool and concise way of putting it! Also, interchange "pickup" with "humor" and it's equally true!

 

[Jizamurai]

Awesome post Duke!

One thing worth mentioning is how all this obviously also applies to taking things to a PHYSICAL level with women.

I just about crap myself when i think about all the times in the past when i had my best game on the entire night and when it came to the time where i should have went in for a kiss, i froze up and panicked. The chatterbox in my head:

"What if she rejects me???" i thought.
"She'll be turned off and it will be awkward!!"
"I'll blow any future chances with her!!"

blah blah blah

Whatever. The fact is, even if she does for some reason not kiss you back, the only way the situation will feel awkward is IF YOU LET IT. So don't! There isnt a good reason to feel awkward anyway. I can't think of one.

All you really did was show her you had some balls!!!

Instead, if she senses that you're cool with it and really couldnt give a sh!t whether she kisses u back, then there's really nothing to worry about. Just continue to do what you were previously doing or move on to someone else. Forget it and HAVE FUN.

Some girls aren't going to crack just like that on the first attempt. You might need to work at them a little longer than others.

Once I was dancing with this one cute redhead at a party for a good while when I felt like the time had come to go in for a kiss.
I did. She wasn't too receptive. I thought 'oh well, i had fun dancing with her anyway'. Time to move on. Me and my buddies then went on to another party that night where i would eventually see the cute redhead again.
I was now dancing with this other girl and having a blast. As soon as the new girl went off to say hi to some friends, who do you think ran up to me all excited? Yes, the redhead from the first party. She was even more fun the second time around. And of course by the end of the night, the second kiss attempt was a lot different from the first.

So remember, just keep it cool no matter what happens. The important thing is to have fun.

JUST LET GO!!

 

[Duke]

Hey Jizamurai!

For sure! I'm surprised I didn't see that, but you are spot on!

I was browsing Woodhaven's posts on ASF just now and I came across this interesting lil tidbit:

"For example, when I first met Dimitri, I was shocked. The first thing I said
to myself was: "There is no way this is Dimitri." Then I thought "There's NO
WAY this guy actually gets laid." (No offense my man, just first impressions!
) My own success had come from a natural style heavily influenced by the
predominant crews here on mASF, what I saw that day blew my mind. His style
was unique and fresh. Completely spontaneous and completely his own, I could
not correlate a single bit of his game with mainstream ASF game. He violated
all the rules and had utter disregard for current models and trends. We would
open a 3-set, and while I was demonstrating the power and consistency of
opinion openers, Dimitri would come in and physically PICK UP ONE OF THE GIRLS
AND SWING HER AROUND! And they LOVED IT! People walking by in the mall were
shocked, but he DIDN'T care - no one mattered BUT HIM. That's what being alpha
really is - doing exactly what you want with no hesitation and complete
certainty it will work. "

http://www.fastseduction.com/cgi-bin/search.cgi?action=retrieve&grp=6&mn=1103104262196206

 

[Bud Wiser]

I can't agree enough with this post.

This is IT in an easy-to-carry package.

Whenever I've had outstanding success, what Duke describes here is at the very heart of it.

This thread should be permanently "bumped," or made Chapter One in the DJ Bible.

As Kenny Banya on "Seinfeld" would say, "this is gold, Jerry. GOLD!"

 

[alphawolfx]

good duke. you're getting it.

 

[MVP]

1. The ONLY THING that makes something you say or do look weird or stupid is if you are unsure about what you are saying or doing or if you are seeking approval.

2. The FREER a man is, the more girls like him. The more inhibited, the less.

3. She will be comfortable if you are comfortable. She will be uncomfortable if you are uncomfortable.

4. You most likely don't realize much power to influence and move people you really have.

5. People RESPECT YOU if they feel good and enjoy themselves in your frame. For this reason, don't hesitate to stay in your frame and welcome others to join you.

Duke, you speak of the truth here. Your post captures the essence of what the difference is between my past as an AFC and what I am today. I saw in one of your posts you said you were introverted, which is what I was born. But by just releasing the person I am inside, it's like the world changes.
Seeking approval is definetly the wrong frame. Being free and saying whatever you want without seeking their validation will make you confident and comfortable with yourself which will in turn make her comfortable being with you. Enjoy life and release your inner power.

 

[check_mate_kid_uk]

wow duke, your such a duke!

+1

I find this to be extremly true, i can have girls laughing over stuff which to put it simply is just not funny, stuff guys would not laugh at. I want them to laugh so they do.

Its just like i noticed that when people know you to be funny, its easy to make them laugh, you can say something less funny and they will still laugh because they see you as someone who is funny.

Example female freind of freind i just met at a club comes back to the table after buying drink and says to us "arent you going to let me sit down" (there where not seats left) so i replied "yeah sure, you can sit down on the floor over there *points*" she laughs and then says "thats mean"

 

[FM 3321]

This is a great post. I need to re-read it again to soak it in. Great stuff.

 

[Gubby]

Can you give me an example of this? How do you "show" one of your stories? if it is a DHV story....?

If you let them descover it by themselves, i.e. hearing you talk about it incidentally with a friend, seeing photos with you doing it, etc, they think, "holy ****! He's that awesome AND he didn't need to tell me!" Not useful for 3-minute pickups though.

 

[Jariel]

1. The ONLY THING that makes something you say or do look weird or stupid is if you are unsure about what you are saying or doing or if you are seeking approval.

2. The FREER a man is, the more girls like him. The more inhibited, the less.

3. She will be comfortable if you are comfortable. She will be uncomfortable if you are uncomfortable.

Great post and great advice! I tried for so long to try and get past my insecurities and build confidence. I tried acting confident, affirmations, copying film characters and so on. But the key is just being comfortable and free and not taking yourself too seriously.

When some people refer to the "don't give a fvck" attitude, they seem to think it means acting like a pr!ck and not caring who you offend, but that's stupid! What Duke has written here is what you should be aiming for.

 

[Bvbidd]

This is bull****, there is obvioulsy more to it. Such as looks.

If an ugly old man walked in and was totally comfrotable with the girls and had complete confidence, would they **** him?

That's not the ONLY thing that will make you look weird.

The weirdest people are comfrotable with themselves.. does not make them normal at all.

When insecure people do weird things people just think their shy.

When secure people do weird things people just think their insane. Not normal.

Either way both are not the greatest things. But most women are more open anyways and don't care.

 

[Technical1]

um... uh.... bump?

 

[DJVladdy]

No bump, tech...

To me, judging by the way OP is writing, he is one of those artsy-fartsy/magic cards/dungeons and dragons nerds.

 

[robstar]

What you were in is called STATE.