Master Don Juan
- Nov 15, 2009
- Reaction score
The 'habit' to expose yourself to that type of behaviour is not really a conscious choice, it's more of an automated response. Perhaps it's easier to understand when you think of people having a phobia.Slickster said:SmoothTalker I am in no way trying to discount you or anyone's terrible experiences with BPD women. I'm sure it can be hell.
The point I take issue with is when she starts acting up and the guy allows it to happen. As you say you are telling your friends tales of her insanity and they don't even believe it because it is so ridiculous.
The fact that you continue to expose yourself to this type of behaviour knowing full well it is wrong is where I don't understand. Would you accept this type of behaviour from any other person in your life? What about a guy friend? What about a real ugly girl?
What about if during your relationship with a BPD girl you start seeing a REALLY great and beautiful normal girl on the side? She's level headed, smart, fun, super sexy, sexual, and pretty much perfect in every way possible. What happens to your BPD addiction then???
If you choose the normal girl then were you really addicted to the BPD? If you choose the BPD then are you anything but weak?
So that is why I say that you guys need to take some responsibility for your BPD addictions. It seems to me that you are choosing sex over your own sanity.
For example, a guy has a phobia for cats. You can take away every rational thought that makes him afraid: show the guy that no harm comes to other people when they come close to the cat. You could even remove it's teeth and claws! Eventually the guy will still be afraid, even if he himself admits there is no rational reason to be afraid! It's an automated response, rational thought won't make it dissapear. In this case the automatic response is more of a simple physical reaction..but on a deeper level, the same principle can be applied to more complex human behaviour and explains why some people cling to a person who mistreats them, even though they rationally know that it will make them feel miserable.
Most of the time, these people are conditioned to ignore the realization that they could and should leave the person who mistreats them. Like when you're fat and decide to stop eating junkfood, you'll still crave for it..and sometimes you'll say to yourself: "Fuck it, I need a hamburger right now!" and just buy one. The realization that it's bad for you and that you had promised yourself not to do this anymore, is simply put aside with the thought "So what..I don't care..." while you shrug your shoulders. Some people are just conditioned to do things that are bad for them..the conditoning takes over their thoughts, feelings and behaviour to a point where even their rational thinking is conditioned to come up with all kinds of counter-thoughts in order to neutralize any thought that will lead them to stay away from the person they cling to.
And yes, in the case of people clinging to BPD's, the conditioning lies in their childhood and was done by their parents... But I'll shut up about that before I get the predictable: "Sure...and all little boys want to fuck their mommies and kill their daddies, right?"