The input I have on this subject is becoming increasingly more narrow, which for me is a good thing.
I can say with authority that I am starting to feel better these days. Having the opportunity to have so many people respond to my threads has been so helpful for me. I am glad I had that privelege instead of coming here and having someone direct me towards old threads (I found the older ones and read them all anyways).
Reading so many different stories over and over has helped me as if I were in group therapy. It helps to talk things out and keep talking about them until YOU
get sick of talking about it because that is when you are healed enough to talk about it less.
I can see what some of you guys mean by this stuff getting old because that is a sign of me healing. Its about point of view. I might see a thread in the Anything Else section about adding peanut butter to the blender when makign protein shakes and I choose
not to read it. The BPD threads will never get old because there will always be people out there who are going through what I went through. People wouldn't be so inclined to talk about it so dang much if it wasn't a real issue that they felt they needed to talk about or read.
When I feel like it I will look inside those threads and add my .02. When I don't, I won't. And when I don't, it doesn't necesarily mean that they shouldn't be there. I wouldn't want to have been denied the privelege of having fresh views on my problems just because of when I got here.
I've come to many conclusions after all the reading and writing on the topic. I feel so much better like I have been able to get it ALL out.
I am reopening this thread because there seems to be a therapeutic need to discuss these BPD relationships (past, present and future).
Therapy is sometimes defined as the act of caring for someone.
I think several of the BPD posters are recovered, but just like to help others through the process. I think this is very important and necessary to help anyone move past any sort of trauma. Make no mistake, BPD's are traumatizing.
Reading all your feedback on my experience has definitely helped me feel like people care for me and have experienced similar things as me and it has helped. By helping others who are experiencing what I went through, I will continue to become stronger.
Interestingly enough I welcome you to consider a bold conclusion I have come to
. My ex was unknowingly using me as a therapist for the latter part of our relationship. Always complaining and b1tching and moaning to me about her pathetic life. This helped her as if she was in therapy, as if she was on this board doing what some of us do. After a while it altered the dynamic of our relationsh1t. Sometimes I was in a great mood and then I hung out with her or she called and it was a srious buzz kill. The mood was all messed up, the spark was fvcked with, the romance and attraction were pissed on. I believe this was part of the reason why she walked away with what seemed like my joy as DJDamage
referred to. Its because the relationsh1t ending was the same fvcking thing as her walking out of a long a$$ therapy appointment.
Learn to recognize wtf is going on in your relationsh1ts and do something about it.
Now to that 2nd point. How often is the failed STR/LTR really a combination of a guy who is extremely AFC/insecure and the women tries repeatedly to end it in her way (indirect). The AFC doesn't get it and it blows up on him. He finally comes here in search of an answer and being able to diagnose her Cluster 'B' makes him feel better, it wasn't his fault, etc.
BPD or not, if a b1tch starts doing drugs (X, acid, pot) and having sex at 13 she is FVCKED in the head. My problem was being scared sh1tless and not knowing how to hit the eject button (found out too late - I was already emotionally hooked) coupled with bad timing (they always seem to leave you when they are most comfortable i.e. when they have someone else lined up
and/or you are 'going through' something of your own in your life regardless of whether you were 'there' for them when they went through similar sh1t or worse). How fvcking convenient it all seems.
My point is I have come to the solid conclusion in my case that I am not just an 'AFC' who is daydreaming up this idea of BPD to enable myself to blame 'her', feel better, and heal under false pretenses.
Thank God I found this forum when I did.