The *No Contact* Challenge! ( Read this if you just got dumped)

[powersize]

Day 52

Damn...Yesterday I was checking Instagram and my ex appeared on one of the her friend's story who are in Spain right now. Today I had a dream with her. And I am feeling ****ty again. After that i have unfollowed all her friends to avoid such situations in future.

I just can't understand how it can be possible that when she dumped me over the text (which was a sign of my low value) and she texted that "I am important for her", and when I replied "I have nothing to say...good buy" she texted "Wait, I don't want to loose a contact with you" - that was the last message between us.

Later I have seen her couple times at the office (we work in the same company) and one time in a club. All these times I did not pay attention on her and never speak.

To be clear I have started healing since the break up, working on myself, and developing the right approach. I understand that it is just an emotion and after a couple of days I will be fine.

But how to understand the whole situation, why she acted like that? Was it just a polite way for her to brake up by lying to me (make it easier for her emotionally)?

Here are some red flags i have spotted during the we were dating:
she always replied after couple hours and at the end even next day;
she was in her phone texting in WhatsApp during the meeting with me (sometimes);
multiple times when we were parting she left me and concentrated on her friends and i was doing nothing on the parties where I know nobody;
she did not appreciate my gift on her birthday (it was quite expensive);
she forgot about my birthday and gave me nothing (2 weeks later she dumped me);
kisses without passing and bad sex;
when we had conversations where i was telling "What i don't like" she agreed on some points but did nothing do improve it (my female friend advised me to do that...P.S Now I will never listen to female advises when it comes to dating);
she lives in a hostel with other students who party couple times a week and she had that "student exchange program experience"
and the most important - She never confirmed that "We are dating" even though I was acting like a boyfriend and etc.

What do you think guys about the whole experience? I know I was needy and acted like a doormat. Was it a waste of the time from the very beginning?

 

[soulforge]

Day 52

Damn...Yesterday I was checking Instagram and my ex appeared on one of the her friend's story who are in Spain right now. Today I had a dream with her. And I am feeling ****ty again. After that i have unfollowed all her friends to avoid such situations in future.

I just can't understand how it can be possible that when she dumped me over the text (which was a sign of my low value) and she texted that "I am important for her", and when I replied "I have nothing to say...good buy" she texted "Wait, I don't want to loose a contact with you" - that was the last message between us.

Later I have seen her couple times at the office (we work in the same company) and one time in a club. All these times I did not pay attention on her and never speak.

To be clear I have started healing since the break up, working on myself, and developing the right approach. I understand that it is just an emotion and after a couple of days I will be fine.

But how to understand the whole situation, why she acted like that? Was it just a polite way for her to brake up by lying to me (make it easier for her emotionally)?

Here are some red flags i have spotted during the we were dating:
she always replied after couple hours and at the end even next day;
she was in her phone texting in WhatsApp during the meeting with me (sometimes);
multiple times when we were parting she left me and concentrated on her friends and i was doing nothing on the parties where I know nobody;
she did not appreciate my gift on her birthday (it was quite expensive);
she forgot about my birthday and gave me nothing (2 weeks later she dumped me);
kisses without passing and bad sex;
when we had conversations where i was telling "What i don't like" she agreed on some points but did nothing do improve it (my female friend advised me to do that...P.S Now I will never listed to female advises when it comes to dating);
she lives in a hostel with other students who party couple times a week and she had that "student exchange program experience"
and the most important - She never confirmed that "We are dating" even though I was acting like a boyfriend and etc.

What do you think guys about the whole experience? I know I was needy and acted like a doormat. Was it a waste of the time from the very beginning?

Dude this is a chick who had low interest in you and treated you rather badly.

Part of the mistake you made is, accepting poor treatment from this girl.

If a girl shows low or very little interest.. You Walk

If a girl shows you disrespect.. You Walk

If a chick isn't making you happy or filling you're needs.. You Walk

A girl who has very little interest in you, will eventually dump you.. The trick is to pick up on the signs of low interest EARLY and simply walk away.

Learn from this mistake.. You are young, plenty more puzzy to come your way yet.

 

[Robert28]

Day 52

Damn...Yesterday I was checking Instagram and my ex appeared on one of the her friend's story who are in Spain right now. Today I had a dream with her. And I am feeling ****ty again. After that i have unfollowed all her friends to avoid such situations in future.

I just can't understand how it can be possible that when she dumped me over the text (which was a sign of my low value) and she texted that "I am important for her", and when I replied "I have nothing to say...good buy" she texted "Wait, I don't want to loose a contact with you" - that was the last message between us.

Later I have seen her couple times at the office (we work in the same company) and one time in a club. All these times I did not pay attention on her and never speak.

To be clear I have started healing since the break up, working on myself, and developing the right approach. I understand that it is just an emotion and after a couple of days I will be fine.

But how to understand the whole situation, why she acted like that? Was it just a polite way for her to brake up by lying to me (make it easier for her emotionally)?

Here are some red flags i have spotted during the we were dating:
she always replied after couple hours and at the end even next day;
she was in her phone texting in WhatsApp during the meeting with me (sometimes);
multiple times when we were parting she left me and concentrated on her friends and i was doing nothing on the parties where I know nobody;
she did not appreciate my gift on her birthday (it was quite expensive);
she forgot about my birthday and gave me nothing (2 weeks later she dumped me);
kisses without passing and bad sex;
when we had conversations where i was telling "What i don't like" she agreed on some points but did nothing do improve it (my female friend advised me to do that...P.S Now I will never listen to female advises when it comes to dating);
she lives in a hostel with other students who party couple times a week and she had that "student exchange program experience"
and the most important - She never confirmed that "We are dating" even though I was acting like a boyfriend and etc.

What do you think guys about the whole experience? I know I was needy and acted like a doormat. Was it a waste of the time from the very beginning?

Hell at least you got dumped. I was in a similar situation and I had to eventually figure everything out by myself, which probably caused me to hang on way longer than I should have. We never had “the talk” to end whatever it was we were and I tried several times to get her to spill it but didn’t want to sound all needy. All I got was “I’ve just had a lot going on lately and have been in a bad spot mentally.” I said “I understand, well if you need to talk you know I’ll listen.”. Last I heard from her.lol You y’all about tough, try walking away when you have even been told to walk away or what made her act like that and try to figure it out when she won’t talk to you or to at least give you the “I don’t think we should see each other” line at the very least.

 

[soulforge]

Week 5 NC

Had abit of a crappy day.. not because I want her back.. I certainly don't.

Its just adjusting to single life again.. Missing things such as spending weekends together with someone etc.

I'm sure in time it won't bother me so much.

I'm looking at things in this way... Its short term pain, but in the long run it will be a gain!

I was wasting precious time with her.. Two years was enough, another 4-5 years more would have been a catastrophe!

Not that we would have made it through another 4-5 years when its a LDR.

 

[SoSuave666]

Hell at least you got dumped. I was in a similar situation and I had to eventually figure everything out by myself, which probably caused me to hang on way longer than I should have. We never had “the talk” to end whatever it was we were and I tried several times to get her to spill it but didn’t want to sound all needy. All I got was “I’ve just had a lot going on lately and have been in a bad spot mentally.” I said “I understand, well if you need to talk you know I’ll listen.”. Last I heard from her.lol You y’all about tough, try walking away when you have even been told to walk away or what made her act like that and try to figure it out when she won’t talk to you or to at least give you the “I don’t think we should see each other” line at the very least.

You do not need this closure. It is a false sense of security. If only I fixed this *one* thing that she said is the impetus for our breakup I will be successful with women!

The reality is that she broke up because she lost interest. She could tell you "you wear your socks funny" but you've been wearing them that way for the 5 years you've known her. Women don't have to work in relationships these days, especially 7-10 women. There is no fear of loss, so as soon as their attraction drops they will be looking for other suitors.

Short 3-6 month relationships are the way to go with little attachment. She wasn't yours, is was only your turn.

 

[powersize]

Dude this is a chick who had low interest in you and treated you rather badly.

Part of the mistake you made is, accepting poor treatment from this girl.

If a girl shows low or very little interest.. You Walk

If a girl shows you disrespect.. You Walk

If a chick isn't making you happy or filling you're needs.. You Walk

A girl who has very little interest in you, will eventually dump you.. The trick is to pick up on the signs of low interest EARLY and simply walk away.

Learn from this mistake.. You are young, plenty more puzzy to come your way yet.

Thanks mate. Actually i understood a bit the situation and was thinking a lot about to walk away at the time. I grew up based on respect and here i critically felt it. But for some reason it put my respect somewhere deep inside and tried to work it out. Can it be also the case that she never had any long term relations?

You do not need this closure. It is a false sense of security. If only I fixed this *one* thing that she said is the impetus for our breakup I will be successful with women!

The reality is that she broke up because she lost interest. She could tell you "you wear your socks funny" but you've been wearing them that way for the 5 years you've known her. Women don't have to work in relationships these days, especially 7-10 women. There is no fear of loss, so as soon as their attraction drops they will be looking for other suitors.

Short 3-6 month relationships are the way to go with little attachment. She wasn't yours, is was only your turn.

I remember the famous quote: "You have to love yourself as much to be able to walk away and never regret about it"

So the solution - you have to value yourself 7-10 which will allow you do not afraid to dump them or being dumped? And when they feel it - their attraction will only grow?

 

[Robert28]

You do not need this closure. It is a false sense of security. If only I fixed this *one* thing that she said is the impetus for our breakup I will be successful with women!

The reality is that she broke up because she lost interest. She could tell you "you wear your socks funny" but you've been wearing them that way for the 5 years you've known her. Women don't have to work in relationships these days, especially 7-10 women. There is no fear of loss, so as soon as their attraction drops they will be looking for other suitors.

Short 3-6 month relationships are the way to go with little attachment. She wasn't yours, is was only your turn.

Well I guess she met someone else while she was “dating” me because her interest dropped like a rock out of nowhere, a few moments of her “old self” in the last couple weeks we talked but mostly she was very distant and cold acting. We didn’t even hangout in those last two weeks, not once. I neber could get her to admit she’d moved on so I said fvck it I’ll make the claim that my ass had moved on without saying a word. I went out a week later with a REALLY cute girl that I went to college with cause she invited me out to drink. This girl has HOT friends and if you’re friends with her you’re basically “in” with them. I took some pics with them at their insistence, they texted them to me later that night. I said you know what, I’ll show this girl who’s low value, and I put them on Facebook I put the pics in story mode so I could tell who viewed them and guess who was the first? Her.

For 2 weeks she thought I was a chump because I was just trying to get some answers and she wouldn’t give me any. I think I made it clear who’s over who.

 

[Johnwic11]

coming up on two months for me. ran into her one time on st pats day. iwas pretty blacked out and grinding on some chick so don't remember the interaction so it didn't bother me and I don't really count it because it was unavoidable.

 

[soulforge]

Week 5 NC

I saw her profile pop up on POF the other day, to be honest it barely bothered me.

Atleast one thing is clear, she did not branch swing to anyone, that's why she put herself back on the market.

This chick is a Single Mom, with two kids, she has no career, barely makes any money, her looks are fading, and at best she is a hb6.

She has chosen the path of becoming a cvm dumpster on POF.

Anyway as each day goes by, I further realise I was completely wasting my time with this woman.

Seeing a woman once or twice a week for 7 years or more, is just fukin ridiculous.

She should had only been a fuk buddy..

My expectations of what I wanted out of a long term committed relationship should have been HIGHER.

I let myself down in that sense.. HOWEVER this is also a great lesson for me too.

Also I should be THANKFUL it ended now... Rather than later when I have wasted another 3-4 years on her.

Keep the NC solid guys!

 

[Johnwic11]

I never not had an ex at some time hit me up, which is weird in this situation. ive banged some girls friends to piss them off before. and other pot shots. this time I just went off the grid. she removed me from snap about a week or two after. still shocked she didn't at least attempt somme type of contact.

 

[soulforge]

I never not had an ex at some time hit me up, which is weird in this situation. ive banged some girls friends to piss them off before. and other pot shots. this time I just went off the grid. she removed me from snap about a week or two after. still shocked she didn't at least attempt somme type of contact.

They Always Come Back.. Sometimes months, sometimes years down the line.

Fuk em. Move onto bigger better things!

 

[Johnwic11]

They Always Come Back.. Sometimes months, sometimes years down the line.

Fuk em. Move onto bigger better things!

yea I hear that its just the ego in me. knowing that I had to go no contact cause someone got the best of me and I was truly never able to fip it

 

[powersize]

They Always Come Back.. Sometimes months, sometimes years down the line.

Fuk em. Move onto bigger better things!

What if she is walking through the same forum for women trying to find an answer on why he doesn't chase me haha?

 

[Johnwic11]

What if she is walking through the same forum for women trying to find an answer on why he doesn't chase me haha?

lol nah this chick just liked effing me. once it wore out I think is when she curb kicked me now she onto her next guy laying pipe. I accepted it for what it is.

 

[soulforge]

What if she is walking through the same forum for women trying to find an answer on why he doesn't chase me haha?

Who cares.. MONTHS down the line, you will look back and laugh at this entire situation.

Go live your life man!

 

[powersize]

Day 57

Today I bumped with her during the lunch where I was sitting and laughing with colleagues. She seamed pretty sad or maybe it is just my assumption. Usually in such situations i am rolling back emotionally but today i feel difference.

I have accepted the breakup itself and do not feel anger on her no more. I don't care if she has a new bf or a **** friend and don't care if she is going to move out the country tomorrow.

Damn it was a tough lesson but i think i am finally gained myself back.

 

[Johnwic11]

Day 57

Today I bumped with her during the lunch where I was sitting and laughing with colleagues. She seamed pretty sad or maybe it is just my assumption. Usually in such situations i am rolling back emotionally but today i feel difference.

I have accepted the breakup itself and do not feel anger on her no more. I don't care if she has a new bf or a **** friend and don't care if she is going to move out the country tomorrow.

Damn it was a tough lesson but i think i am finally gained myself back.

When I was y ounger, chicks I effed that rejected me I tried to turn them into something that didn't exist. now I acknowledge their existence but I think it helps me put them in just another notch in the bed post category.

 

[Johnwic11]

Day 57

Today I bumped with her during the lunch where I was sitting and laughing with colleagues. She seamed pretty sad or maybe it is just my assumption. Usually in such situations i am rolling back emotionally but today i feel difference.

I have accepted the breakup itself and do not feel anger on her no more. I don't care if she has a new bf or a **** friend and don't care if she is going to move out the country tomorrow.

Damn it was a tough lesson but i think i am finally gained myself back.

you and I are about on the same timeline. I bumped into mine st pats day. I was so hammered tho. my buddies said she left all salty. was grinding on a hot piece

 

[powersize]

you and I are about on the same timeline. I bumped into mine st pats day. I was so hammered tho. my buddies said she left all salty. was grinding on a hot piece

Man... First they dump you, and later when you are over, they actually start to experience all. And i bet first they don't value you enough and again, when you move on, you become the most important guy. It sounds like never be needy and always available, and you will never be dumped.

 

[Johnwic11]

yea I read all this stuff. some of it is just too over the top and I don't have the energy to be like that all the time. I mbusy with work, working out, officiating sports on the side and my friends. I am who I am now if a chick dumps me it sucks but I know ill be good. I'm 34 though now. youll learn in time. mine was 28 year old bartender who was super hot. goes distant on me right after her bday I called her out. set up a dinner to talk about it. she starts the its not you its me. I agreed with her. said I had fun wished her the best. and said catch ya later and left her at dinner with a glass of wine and rolled out. week later removing me from social media when I snap chatted myself at same place, with my dad lol. but it looked like it could or couldn't be a date. small dubs man