@Young_Don,
@finality.
Listen, guys, I was in your place 2+ months ago when I started NC. Before that, I spent three weeks leading up to the break-up in a neurotic mind-fvck state that landed me back in the therapist chair. As a result, I'm most likely going to a fail a hard online class a month from now. Long story short is that I let this girl distract me from an important class I need to get into grad school. I'll most likely have to take the class over and I've been hard on myself for that. I let myself fall apart. I lost 15 pounds earlier this year from an accident and depression then another 5 lbs loss on an already small frame after the breakup. 60 days of solid NC got my life refocused. I started a 12-week lifting program in the gym and gained 17 pounds of muscle back. I don't look like a frail ghost that I was at 136 lbs now that I'm 152 lbs. You can read more of my process in previous pages. I also became a social group organizer of a group of a couple of hundred people with added responsibility. That has given me social proof, where before people thought I was invisible. People look up to me now to lead and that feels great. I actually enjoy leading now where before I was always the follower. I bought an electric and acoustic guitar that I practice daily for an hour or so and go to weekly lessons. That has helped me get my mind off the ex and women tremendously in general.
I'm writing this post to give you guys hope.
One of the toughest lessons you need to learn is to
never ever hand over your self-esteem to another woman. She'll take your self-esteem and ride all over it like the dirt of a monster truck rally. No fvcks will be given by her. Never allow yourself to be self-validated on the basis fact that a woman wants a LTR or not with you. Your validation comes from you. Never make a woman your #1 priority. Your success comes from the hard work that you invest in yourself. That could be your education, career, personality, hobbies, looks/style, gym, etc.
Women are going to have branches to jump to now thanks to social media, OLD, good ol' fashion proximity (school, work, professional networks, social spheres, etc.). So who cares about what branch she jumps to. It could be any guy who happens to be at the right place at the right time. And even then who knows how long she'll stay with that branch until moving on to another branch. It's all relative.
What are you proud of? Celebrate in those good things and continue to make your strengths even stronger. Continue your Don Juan transformation, so that if a girl breaks up with you or you break up with her, the wheels don't come off the wagon. Build a solid foundation around yourself, life, values and goals. Put in the hard work for yourself and never stop improving.
Women come and go in this world. There will be many plates dropped. What remains? You. So invest in yourself. You are the one thing that remains constant and you have everything in your power and will to change what you want moving forward.
Leave the ex in the past, learn from your mistakes, and shake off the dust. Life awaits.
