The *No Contact* Challenge! ( Read this if you just got dumped)

[5chm1dd1]

Stay strict NC from now on, this has been going on for way to long since she f#cked you over.
From here on out, she never existed.

 

[Carpathian]

A year today since the b1atch dumped me. I only know because I had to search through my texts for something from my daughter and found the texts from her consoling me a year ago. Was upset for three months but met another woman 8/10 HB and I have been doing great. It gets better guys, no matter how bad you may think it is now. The sun shines again eventually.

 

[Carpathian]

@sadface54 Disappear from her life. NOW. Not tomorrow or next week after that one "final" reach-out. You are going to do it NOW. Do not answer her calls, texts, letters or anything else. YOU ARE A MAN, you will not be treated like this. Is it hard? You bet. But what is the alternative? More begging and pleading? How does that make you look in her eyes? I will tell you. Pathetic. Women want strength in a man, their man, not a big, crying. wet-lettuce pu$$y. You are not a play thing of hers to be thrown away and reeled back in when she feels like it. You are going to pick up your ba11s and start ignoring her right now.

 

[Carpathian]

Your only option when dealing with a toxic woman, whether she's borderline, bipolar, HPD, NPD, a psychopath/sociopath, has daddy issues, or is otherwise just plain fvcking bad for you,

IS TO GO COMPLETE TOTAL NO CONTACT.

If you don't, you will continue to make yourself seriously mentally sick. And you might end up in jail - and xstang sounds like you already almost have.

Don't let the awesome sex fool you. Don't be clouded by thoughts of whether she is mentally ill or not. Do not blame yourself for the demise of the relationship.

Just evacuate and GTFO. Trust me, I've been where you guys have been a hundred times and the end results with these vampires is always the same - if you stick it out or go back to them you will be mentally clusterfvcked. They will carpet bomb you with severe mental and emotional abuse. Get out, get out permanently, and the sooner you get out the sooner you will start to get better.

Don't make the same mistake I (almost) made many times - you pine for this crazy b*tch only to meet an even better hotter one and then you find yourself still thinking about an insane woman who didn't even treat you like a human being.

Amen brother. I could not have put it better myself.
\Quote you pine for this crazy b*tch only to meet an even better hotter one and then you find yourself still thinking about an insane woman who didn't even treat you like a human being /Unquote
Dude, this is the gospel. Guys, you will save yourself so much pain by following this wisdom. I also speak from experience. Somehow you (just like I did) always feel your own situation is "different" and your love was "special". It is NOT. It is the SAME as everyone else. GTFO from these toxic people or else you will sink down with them.

 

[sadface54]

If she ever hits me again I'm not going to ignore but just let her know that I have no desire to have

@sadface54 Disappear from her life. NOW. Not tomorrow or next week after that one "final" reach-out. You are going to do it NOW. Do not answer her calls, texts, letters or anything else. YOU ARE A MAN, you will not be treated like this. Is it hard? You bet. But what is the alternative? More begging and pleading? How does that make you look in her eyes? I will tell you. Pathetic. Women want strength in a man, their man, not a big, crying. wet-lettuce pu$$y. You are not a play thing of hers to be thrown away and reeled back in when she feels like it. You are going to pick up your ba11s and start ignoring her right now.

I never begged...If she contacts me though I won't ignore...I'll let her know that I have no desire to have a platonic conversation with her and if she ever wants to talk to hop on that train and be prepared for a thrashing

 

[Carpathian]

If she ever hits me again I'm not going to ignore but just let her know that I have no desire to have


I never begged...If she contacts me though I won't ignore...I'll let her know that I have no desire to have a platonic conversation with her and if she ever wants to talk to hop on that train and be prepared for a thrashing

So, when she says "jump" (at her leisure when SHE feels like it, i.e. has the power) you are going to say "how high"? That's how you will come across dude. You are implicitly agreeing to be at her beck-and-call by answering her messages and she will construe this as "he is putty in my hands" and "he is still available for me as and when I want to yank his chain". Even if you want to get back with this woman, the way you go about it is not by agreeing with her every word but by showing her you are someone to be reckoned with. I tell you again, you should ignore this woman for a few weeks at least. Let her miss you and realize you are a man of strength.
Whenever a relationship breaks down it very, very rarely gets properly back on track again dude. They almost always break back down again. I would move on from this. Do what you need to do, you asked questions of this forum and we give you our time and advice. It is up to you to decide whether to take it or not. However, you will recall the name of this thread, the no contact challenge...... There is a good reason for that.

 

[Young_Don]

So It's been 31 days of NC for me today and I'm feeling a bit better since I've been more busy with work and gym but it's still painful to think about. I still have her best friend on facebook and she uploaded a pic of them last week at a hens night with a male stripper, that kinda sent me over the edge so instead of unfriending her i just deactivated fb all together.

I do miss her a lot and I'd be lying if I said I didn't want her back but I'm doing my best to use my time wisely on myself. I still feel the physical pain of heartbreak but talking to other girls has helped a bit.

But I've come to the conclusion that if there ever was a chance of her reaching out to me again the best thing to do is continue NC and doing what I'm doing. I don't knw if I'd even take her back or even reply tbh.. I just can't help but think that she really is happier without me since she hasn't given in to contacting me, I think that's what's eating me up the most. But I guess it just goes to show how full of shyt women can be, especially when their emotions take over.

 

[MrAddiction]

New
If she ever hits me again I'm not going to ignore but just let her know that I have no desire to have....
I never begged...If she contacts me though I won't ignore...I'll let her know that I have no desire to have a platonic conversation with her and if she ever wants to talk to hop on that train and be prepared for a thrashing

It is the Wrong way. I thought I was strong enough and went that way. Definately the wrong path. The wrong direction. All it does is keeping you off from healing and heading in your own direction. NC is the only way to go.

 

[sadface54]

So, when she says "jump" (at her leisure when SHE feels like it, i.e. has the power) you are going to say "how high"? That's how you will come across dude. You are implicitly agreeing to be at her beck-and-call by answering her messages and she will construe this as "he is putty in my hands" and "he is still available for me as and when I want to yank his chain". Even if you want to get back with this woman, the way you go about it is not by agreeing with her every word but by showing her you are someone to be reckoned with. I tell you again, you should ignore this woman for a few weeks at least. Let her miss you and realize you are a man of strength.
Whenever a relationship breaks down it very, very rarely gets properly back on track again dude. They almost always break back down again. I would move on from this. Do what you need to do, you asked questions of this forum and we give you our time and advice. It is up to you to decide whether to take it or not. However, you will recall the name of this thread, the no contact challenge...... There is a good reason for that.

If she contacts me, telling her not to contact me unless its to let me know she's coming to my house to be intimate isn't..when she says jump, I say how high. It is being an adult, and honest and letting her know not to contact me unless she plans on giving me what I want. The goal is not to be in a serious relationship with this woman. I'm not a game player. Make her miss me? To what end?

 

[Roober]

So It's been 31 days of NC for me today and I'm feeling a bit better since I've been more busy with work and gym but it's still painful to think about. I still have her best friend on facebook and she uploaded a pic of them last week at a hens night with a male stripper, that kinda sent me over the edge so instead of unfriending her i just deactivated fb all together.

I do miss her a lot and I'd be lying if I said I didn't want her back but I'm doing my best to use my time wisely on myself. I still feel the physical pain of heartbreak but talking to other girls has helped a bit.

But I've come to the conclusion that if there ever was a chance of her reaching out to me again the best thing to do is continue NC and doing what I'm doing. I don't knw if I'd even take her back or even reply tbh.. I just can't help but think that she really is happier without me since she hasn't given in to contacting me, I think that's what's eating me up the most. But I guess it just goes to show how full of shyt women can be, especially when their emotions take over.

Keep it up..

1. hit the gym hard and focus on your reps and muscle control... this clears the mind like you wouldnt believe
2. get fit and healthy, start researching how to eat well, and include lots of protein in your diet to bulk up
3. read, read, read... The Rational Male is a great book, as is the way of the superior man (for when you are spending more time with women)
4. Keep spinning plates and meeting new women. You will begin to see your ex really wasn't special at all. But, don't make it your focus in life. I would recommend 2-3 days a week on dates, and the rest doing things for you

At some point soon, missing her will turn more into something of not seeing someone for a while. You will like to see her, but don't feel that bond. Shortly after that, you will begin to forget about her. The more women you meet, the better... IT is time to focus on you, and everything you want to do with your life, that doesn't involve women!

 

[MrAddiction]

Out way too long. Having a bad Health day today what makes me again miss the good times/illusion of my Cluster B Ex. Even questioned my NC. But stayed strong. Just feel lonely today. Would have liked her company. My mind playing tricks on me and seems to forget about all the Bad things she has done to me.

 

[Killakittie]

Married three years to a physically abusive, bpd, pathological liar. All the signs were present in the beginning but i was very plugged in and not red pill aware. She love bombed me, then the physical and mental abuse began. You need only to look at my post history to see how mentally exhausted i became before i stumbled into this place. I'm much better now but she still won't go away.

After a year of separation and constantly trying to push her out of my life and not succeeding I've decided to give this a shot.

Until now I've done everything i know how. Blocked her, blocked emails, ignored, acted really hostile toward her, dated other women, bargained, all to no avail. She'd just make more emails, more instagram accounts, more Internet numbers..All the while she's still attempting to manipulate and gaslight me. Still claiming her behavior is my fault..Still claiming she loves me, even though she's talking and fvcking other men...complete insanity. I can't truly move on to full healing until she's gone.

I hope being here can give me something different i haven't tried before. Luckily our court date for divorce is in May. No kids, even though she's trying hard to get me to get her pregnant. I've been doing pretty good lately with ignoring, but i have moments of weakness. So starting tomorrow i will begin day 1 of no contact.

I have so far succeeded in not having sex with her or seeing her in person since the middle of last month. She's trying to get preg by me so no sex is crucial.

Today she texted me, i responded mainly because I'm sexually frustrated. She starts talking about god and how she prays that i become closer to Jesus (keep in mind she had an affair with someone in her own church while we were married and she's currently talking to some new guy) and that she's closer to god. She changes the subject to asking probing questions about what i was doing Sat night, this will lead to arguing so i ignore. Later tonight she calls twice on some random number. I answer the first time not knowing who it was and immediately hung up. She immediately calls back and i block the number (can't truly block Internet numbers) Like an idiot i started justifying calling her back. I was horney and thinking with my little head. I did and it went south immediately with her acting like i am irrelevant and worthless in her life (manipulation) (gloating) she then tells me she deserves better and she hangs up. I then decide i need to start this no contact challenge and give it a serious shot. Every time i communicate with her my self esteem takes a big hit and i feel slightly depressed. The longest I've gone without resounding to her is about a week. I have no issues getting dates with other women or talking to them but I've tried that and it doesn't help. More women doesn't seem to be the answer. Getting her out of my life is my main priority.

 

[5chm1dd1]

Day: I don't give a sh#t anymore (thank God, took me 6 F@cking months)

Dodged a bullet there guys.
Met a 28yo HB8 at a concert on Friday (I'm 23, so I'm kinda proud). Night and the following day were awesome, even though I have some gaps in my memory due to alcohol.
As we were both drunk a. F., we didn't realize the cond0m broke until the next morning. Well f@ck me.

This morning, she texted me that she just got her period.

Life 0:1 Me

We agreed to stay in contact and meet up sometime again, as she lives quite far away from me. So no stress for me, plus if I happen to be in Berlin I've got a safe lay. Perfect

 

[5chm1dd1]

Married three years to a physically abusive, bpd, pathological liar. All the signs were present in the beginning but i was very plugged in and not red pill aware. She love bombed me, then the physical and mental abuse began. You need only to look at my post history to see how mentally exhausted i became before i stumbled into this place. I'm much better now but she still won't go away.

After a year of separation and constantly trying to push her out of my life and not succeeding I've decided to give this a shot.

Until now I've done everything i know how. Blocked her, blocked emails, ignored, acted really hostile toward her, dated other women, bargained, all to no avail. She'd just make more emails, more instagram accounts, more Internet numbers..All the while she's still attempting to manipulate and gaslight me. Still claiming her behavior is my fault..Still claiming she loves me, even though she's talking and fvcking other men...complete insanity. I can't truly move on to full healing until she's gone.

I hope being here can give me something different i haven't tried before. Luckily our court date for divorce is in May. No kids, even though she's trying hard to get me to get her pregnant. I've been doing pretty good lately with ignoring, but i have moments of weakness. So starting tomorrow i will begin day 1 of no contact.

I have so far succeeded in not having sex with her or seeing her in person since the middle of last month. She's trying to get preg by me so no sex is crucial.

Today she texted me, i responded mainly because I'm sexually frustrated. She starts talking about god and how she prays that i become closer to Jesus (keep in mind she had an affair with someone in her own church while we were married and she's currently talking to some new guy) and that she's closer to god. She changes the subject to asking probing questions about what i was doing Sat night, this will lead to arguing so i ignore. Later tonight she calls twice on some random number. I answer the first time not knowing who it was and immediately hung up. She immediately calls back and i block the number (can't truly block Internet numbers) Like an idiot i started justifying calling her back. I was horney and thinking with my little head. I did and it went south immediately with her acting like i am irrelevant and worthless in her life (manipulation) (gloating) she then tells me she deserves better and she hangs up. I then decide i need to start this no contact challenge and give it a serious shot. Every time i communicate with her my self esteem takes a big hit and i feel slightly depressed. The longest I've gone without resounding to her is about a week. I have no issues getting dates with other women or talking to them but I've tried that and it doesn't help. More women doesn't seem to be the answer. Getting her out of my life is my main priority.

From here on, stay completely NC, except for the divorce stuff.

You need to keep her away from you as far as possible, otherwise she will proceed to try to destroy your life and you.

Keep your head up, May isn't that far away. Stay strong Bro!

 

[Daximus]

Hi all, fortunate enough to have stumbled across this site today. I'm 3 days into NC after 7 years. I like Exhausted suffer with an analytical mind and find it near impossible to have things left unresolved, it's pure torture. On top of the hammer blow that is being told after 7 years that she's 'not sure anymore'. Living out of a suitacse right now couchsurfing as we share(d) a house.. that I gave my blood sweat and tears to fully renovating over the 5 years we've been there. I was juggling building a business at the same time, near broke me in the porcess (of which was my fault when not being affectionate at the end of each day) and also dealing with her BPD issues. I'm stunned at how many of you have suffered at the hands of a BPD, surely there's a big correlation here? She would blow up all the time, and I would know the second she opened her mouth that she was the 'other' her. It could last a few hours, or a few months in one case, behaviour became cold, emotionless towards me, volatile and super nasty. This time she seems to have been there for about 6 weeks with only a few 'normal' appearances, and then she went as far as giving me the boot a few days ago. No lie, I love her to the ends of the earth, i've known her 10 years, and as i've read here, the highs in these realtionships do keep you hooked, and you suffer the downers blinded by the 'better' them. She's also a cracker, like the kind that everyone would comment on when we were at functions or such, some douchbags not even believeing she was with me (im not the worst looking guy), but she is a 10. This crazy her will have a new guy prob already, but she will eventually snap back at some point and come knocking, I know it. Need to get my head straight before that happens. F$$K it's hard. Her 30th tomorrow, going to be tough not breaking. Saying goodbye to the crazy side is damn easy, when the good side comes back, it's like the purest drug in existance. Long road ahead.

Ok... so I posted here in late January at the start of my NC! Been going through the motions since, some minor contact to deal with legal stuff on house etc, but I was making great headway. Secured myself an epic new job in London, like the f##cking pinnacle of my profession, dream come true kinda thing, got myself on tinder and met a few great girls for a bit of company etc, network of friends again and then BANG! She starts calling last week! I ignored for a week, but then something seemed wrong so I caved today. To cut anlong story short... we broke 12 weeks ago, her news... she's now 8 weeks pregnant.... with the rebound guy!!!!!!! And here's the kicker... she regrets every last bit of it, breaking with me, meeting him, getting pregnant etc! Now she's in "termoil" over her actions and feels like she ****ed up. Now of course I know my answer, but **** man, this is a heavy blow even with how well I was doing.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

Ok... so I posted here in late January at the start of my NC! Been going through the motions since, some minor contact to deal with legal stuff on house etc, but I was making great headway. Secured myself an epic new job in London, like the f##cking pinnacle of my profession, dream come true kinda thing, got myself on tinder and met a few great girls for a bit of company etc, network of friends again and then BANG! She starts calling last week! I ignored for a week, but then something seemed wrong so I caved today. To cut anlong story short... we broke 12 weeks ago, her news... she's now 8 weeks pregnant.... with the rebound guy!!!!!!! And here's the kicker... she regrets every last bit of it, breaking with me, meeting him, getting pregnant etc! Now she's in "termoil" over her actions and feels like she ****ed up. Now of course I know my answer, but **** man, this is a heavy blow even with how well I was doing.

So she did all her bs as reactionary off of her her "feelings"? And look @ her now... SMH

 

[QuadDeuces]

Itty bitty relapse, checked her public instagram account, saw selfies of her with a sad defeated face, and she went to an area with a lake side scenery I know must reminds her of my place since I live close to a lake where we always used to go.

Felt compassion and sympathy for her.
Shouldn't have looked at her pics, seeing her sad doesnt make me feel good at all.

 

[Young_Don]

@QuadDeuces social media is the devil bro. I made that mistake last night of looking at her public insta except she looks really happy, which made me feel like ****. It's insanely tempting but it does nothing productive for you, and if it's not helping you then get rid of it.

Told myself I'm staying off social media all together unless I'm replying to notifications/messages. Curiosity killed the cat.. But in your situation you should be cheering. You're the one who came out on top and she's openly admitting to you that she f'd up. It's not your problem now, focus on yourself man. Do you think she would give a crap about you if the roles were reversed? Even if you wanted to help her, you can't. 99% of the time women older than 24 are set in their ways and will go through all types of denial before they acknowledge that something should be done on their part.

Keep doing you and don't look back.

 

[NeedToGetOverBitch]

Hello guys. New guy here.
First of all, like you guys, I'm ****ing devastated. Problem for me, it's the first time. I'm 24 years old and we have been together for 10-11 months. So for me, it was my first relationship with a girl. She was 18 and I was 23 when we started dating. We met during work and we still work together (I'm a cook and she's a waitress). Basically I've never had 100% trust in her because of something that happened at the start of our relationship, but my trust improved. It still just wasn't enough and it kept making her sad. This friday, I ****ed up and asked her to show me a picture of a conversation between her and this ****boy who once tried to flirt with her during a night out. They had a very little flirt (just a tiny) which made me confused. That happened 2 months ago during our rough patch. The last 3-4 weeks was like honeymoon, we patched it up. But after I asked, she showed me and told me not to show up at her house this weekend (we were supposed to spend it together). I was very sad, but she was angry as hell. I just HAD to talk to her, so I called her and wanted to meet her but no, she just didn't. Well, long story short, she has since friday, been writing and talking to an ex-flirt all day and night. Basically she said she just needed someone to talk to and she wanted who had an objective perspective on this. Thing is, that mother ****er isn't objective, he wants her back. So obviously what happened, is that they have spent the last 3-4 days writing and she's now lost all feelings for me. 2 days ago I showed up at her house, she kept saying I needed to stay away and giving her a break, but this time. She, for the first time, treated me like garbage and like an ex. She was mean as hell and threw me home. It took me 50 minutes to get there and I was there for 15 minutes. I realized after that conversation, that our relationship was over. She said she needed some time, but was pretty sure it wouldnt work out. I accepted and left. Since then (it's been 2 days), I've realized it's over and it's only a question before she takes contact to me to make it official. I'm going to work with her on thursday again, should I just tell her to be honest with me and make it easy and break it up there? Because I don't think she's going to change her mind and suddenly miss me, because she's now flirting with her ****ing ex flirt. She was supposed to spend the next many days THINKING FOR HERSELF, missing me and maybe come back, because she still has feelings for me. Or well, she DID. Now Im sure she doesnt because of the ex flirt.

So next week, I'll probably start the NC and post here. The last 3 days have been rough as hell, my heart is broken, I can't eat or sleep.

 

[MrAddiction]

social media is the devil bro

That!!!!
I think guys on here do have to Understand that "stalking" the ex on Social Media is the just the same like breaking NC.
One reason to to NC is to not know what is going on in the exes life anymore so that your feelings can not get hurt by her telling you how Great she is doing. There is no difference wether it is her telling you or you getting the Info via Social Media. Both has the some negative effect on you. Therefore get rid of that Social Media. Ist only makes you breaking NC and starting all over. Good luck.