The *No Contact* Challenge! ( Read this if you just got dumped)

[Freedom19]

Day 4

Thanks for the suggestion guys. I did not reply since yesterday and went to sleep instead. Read the messages and it was that she was to talk again and she misses me.. blah blah blah. I felt really bad about the whole thing but NC stays. She saw me online this morning and sent me another message asking me to respond to her. Its a mood killer these messages and I think I am going to take Allin's advice and write the short "give me space" message.

 

[Carpathian]

Yes you can reply that you need space and that she needs to stop contacting you. You can even add "text me only if you ever change your mind about us" if you feel like you really need to add that part.

But that has to be the ONLY message you send AND not longer than that.

Good luck man. You are doing great

Depends on the circumstances of the breakup and how long ago. If she dumped you recently (i.e. in the last month or so) and is trying to circulate around you again then ignore her. Certainly ignore her for a few months and let her miss you. It will be months and months before she gives up and moves on, indeed this will make her want you MORE. She must be made to understand you are not a toy that she can throw down as and when it suits her. If this is the second or more times this has happened ignore her and move on. If she is contacting you again after a year or so, no harm in seeing what she wants and playing it very, very cool - assuming you still like her and want to of course.

 

[Freedom19]

Depends on the circumstances of the breakup and how long ago. If she dumped you recently (i.e. in the last month or so) and is trying to circulate around you again then ignore her. Certainly ignore her for a few months and let her miss you. It will be months and months before she gives up and moves on, indeed this will make her want you MORE. She must be made to understand you are not a toy that she can throw down as and when it suits her. If this is the second or more times this has happened ignore her and move on. If she is contacting you again after a year or so, no harm in seeing what she wants and playing it very, very cool - assuming you still like her and want to of course.

We parted on 4 days ago. I have been on NC since the first day... I think she is going through a rough time but she has a history of becoming Dr. Jekyll when she is around her friends (specifically guy friends). Since today is the start of the weekend, I can imagine she is going to change her tune come this evening. Hence my hesitation of replying as well. At the same time, her messages kills my frame.

 

[Carpathian]

We parted on 4 days ago. I have been on NC since the first day... I think she is going through a rough time but she has a history of becoming Dr. Jekyll when she is around her friends (specifically guy friends). Since today is the start of the weekend, I can imagine she is going to change her tune come this evening. Hence my hesitation of replying as well. At the same time, her messages kills my frame.

Dude, you need to let go of your oneitis man. Ignore her messages or block her if her messages do that to your frame. If this is only four days ago and she dumped you there is NO WAY you as a self-respecting man should be entertaining the thought of messaging her or replying to her. Grow a pair and respect yourself. You can do better than this and deserve better than this from a woman. Half the population of this planet are women. Think that when you have a weak moment.

 

[finality]

Day 2.

I joined in March so its been almost 8 months of failed NC. We've had 2 or 3 recycles since then.

Banged a new one last night but these BPD women are hard to remove from your mind.

 

[BeTheChange]

Just thought I'd pop in the NC thread. You're all champions. Keep fighting the good fight.

Had a very sad but positive realisation tonight while buzzed on wine and vodka. In fact I'm typing this from my phone at my house party. Surrounded by boos and women. I can't remember what it was like to be in a relationship with my ex. I can't remember my identity as a "guy in a relationship". The idea of being with my ex seems foreign and unsettling. 3 months ago I couldn't have imagined being where I am.

I'm also living with my best mate and one of the most natural red pill guys I know. Can't stress enough how important it is to find a good friend who you can just level with and pour out your thoughts to with no expectations of judgement.

Keep it up lads. There's light at the end of the tunnel.

 

[Adz--]

Day whatever the f*ck it is

Tonight me and one of my boys went out for Halloween, we were killing it! Getting loads of attention from everyone for our costumes.

Half way through the night we bump into my ex and her new man, she immediately looked at me in a kind of shock and said that's my ex to her new guy and threw my drink out of my hand and tried to start a fight in the smokers area with her new boyfriend, I was down throw a few swings to this prick, I'm sick and tired of being taken as a mug\fool all the time.
My boy jumped in and told the guy to forget about it before he breaks his legs and so did her guy mates, we then partied on and hit a few more clubs and then went to one last one where we couldn't get in and she was walking out. I avoided her and she started crap again and so did her man so I went up to him and said what's your problem let's go right now, again my boy jumped in and so did her mates and talked it out, although Her and her new bf walked off lol.
We then started walking to McDonald's and her man and her tried started to provoke a fight again and he grabbed her for a kiss, I just turned my back and carried on walking. I don't have time for that bs in my life anymore.
Honestly guys I was really angey and had to control my sh*t before anyone got hurt. But let's just say her friends where taken slightly back with the things I said, I handled it like a man.
I don't want anything to do with that piece of sh*t anymore, she lost out on something special, a Don Juan.
Her new man from what I've heard just smokes weed all the time, also since I've hit the gym for 2 months straight I've put on quite a lot of muscle mass and I can see my frame now, that guy compared to me looked tiny, like how I was before gym. And a cheap Rip off me haha, she can have him.
The fact she caused all this crap twice shows that somethings still there for me after like 3\4 months since we last saw each other. F*ck her. I'm on to better things. Even if it means I'm by my self. I now need to learn again what my true value is and what it is to be a proper man in order to take care of my sh*t and move forward with my life and do the best that I can do for my self and my own motherf*cking God damn happiness. No one else is going to do it for me.
It's time I grew up, I don't like how I'm being treated by others then make it known and let them deal with It, who are they compared to my own sanity and happiness, why let all that shiz be bottled up.
If they don't like it they can either a) come and talk to me like a man or
B) come and fight me man to man, and If they bring their boys I'll bring mine and I will leave them burried 6ft deep or in hospital.
I'm sick and tired of being taken advantage off, taken off a fool and a scuirmy little fagg*t.

Adz--rant over and out.

 

[BeTheChange]

Adz next time don't even react. If you want to really do damage react with complete indifference, as if you're swatting away a fly. Because that's all she is anymore. An insect.

 

[CuddleJunkie]

A quick shout out to the brave guys going through this. It gets so much better.
It has been over a year since my first HARD oneitis cheated on me after a 5 years long relationship, 3 of them living together. And you know what guys? I don't even remember her anymore. Like, sometimes her thought will arise in my mind because the topic of conversation makes it so (talking about exes, or kinky **** girls we've been with did, you get it) and I would think "****, it's been so long since I thought about her".

This didn't come easy, though. It's been a hard year of working on my flaws, improving my strengths, letting go of a lot of hate (for her, too). It is SO FVCKING REWARDING. Just keep going on brothers, keep pushing yourselves to excellence, keep your mind and body busy, and in no time you will find yourselves thinking about how you don't think about her anymore.

 

[RoKKo]

Day1

We had a long-distance relationship which lasted a year. On the day before we met again, she told/wrote me about how i would be everything for her. The very next day afterwards she acted the completly opposide, asking me why i didnt like her anymore. I got totally confused and didnt know what to do in this situation. Shortly after she said she has no feelings for me and broke up. (Lets just be friends) Never in my life i felt this humiliated before. Betrayed, lied, left alone, i even lose hair to this ****...

After reading in this and other forums and especially after that "sudden swing" i noticed (hopefully this will change to "realized" soon) that i definitly have to change my way about how to treat women. For my and their sake. As a beginner in this scene, i will definitly read the basics here and test it on other women because i have to (and i want to) change my attitude Thanks for this forum and the community to be a source of information and helping me getting through this tough time for me.

Cu in a few days! - RoKKo

 

[Carpathian]

Day1

We had a long-distance relationship which lasted a year. On the day before we met again, she told/wrote me about how i would be everything for her. The very next day afterwards she acted the completly opposide, asking me why i didnt like her anymore. I got totally confused and didnt know what to do in this situation. Shortly after she said she has no feelings for me and broke up. (Lets just be friends) Never in my life i felt this humiliated before. Betrayed, lied, left alone, i even lose hair to this ****...

After reading in this and other forums and especially after that "sudden swing" i noticed (hopefully this will change to "realized" soon) that i definitly have to change my way about how to treat women. For my and their sake. As a beginner in this scene, i will definitly read the basics here and test it on other women because i have to (and i want to) change my attitude Thanks for this forum and the community to be a source of information and helping me getting through this tough time for me.

Cu in a few days! - RoKKo

The most important thing is to NEVER make her the number one thing in your life, or certainly, never let her THINK she is the most important thing. Now, that doesn't mean treat her like a ****. It means maintain your own identity as a man and continue to do the things you like to do, when you like to do them and let her fit around you (within reason), NOT the other way round. As soon as she detects signals from you that you are more into her than she is into you, by being too available, too easy, not being the leader, complementing her too much, being too generous (all beta male behaviors) the relationship is ultimately doomed and you will struggle to ever get it back. Been there and got the T shirt like most others on this forum.

 

[Freedom19]

Day 3 (Again)

Went on a trip out of the country this weekend to get a change of scenery and was not able to post here. She has been messaging me the whole of last week with declarations of undying love and inability to continue living etc... Cracked on Sunday and replied. A bit of a backstory on the break up. She was moving to another city and wanted to colocate with her "guy bestfriend" who happens to be a natural. Long story short, it did not sit right with me and we parted ways on this point. So anyway, I cracked on Sunday and replied if she stops the colocation, we can rediscuss, if not, well, stop messaging me... She thanked me for my ultimatum and wished me luck. I never replied since then and she hasn't messaged either.

I feel like crap about cracking hence I restarted the NC counter from Sunday again... Anyway, started running again.. Restarted my French classes. Joining a gym today. And picking up dance class tom.

 

[MrWood]

seems you got clarity and closure from her actions...

 

[finality]

Day 7

Second longest streak in 8 months

 

[Freedom19]

Day 4

I think she is cracking. 4 messages and 1 call from her yesterday. NC still in effect as I did not reply.

She wants to have one last discussion (phone call) about her choice of appartment and breakup overall. She seems to be suffering. I feel bad about that and am thinking it will not hurt to give her closure but am not sure about this point... Any advice?

 

[MrWood]

she has a history of becoming Dr. Jekyll when she is around her friends (specifically guy friends).

this is really all you need to know... isnt it?

 

[Freedom19]

this is really all you need to know... isnt it?

I guess that is all I need to know. Thanks!

 

[RoKKo]

Day 4

Hi folks, after i told my ex to not contacting me anymore, she really didnt contact me (which i feel "okay" to "good" about). I began eating a lot more, my hair seem to grow back and after all i feel a little bit relieved. It feels like a tiny bit of a huge rock-full of stress slowly falling apart from me. I didnt start to activly change myself in my behaviour right now (like strifing to my lifetime-goals or going to the gym). But what i did in the last days was asking about my fundamental beliefe system in what is the man i want to become really like about and what do i have to change to really become that man. i bought a tiny notebook to keep track about this thought process. I finally am able to stop thinking about her non-stop and stop beating myself down in the thought process on "what can i do to make she like me more". This thinking becomes more and more self-orientated. Had casual conversations to 2 women waiting for the bus. I also began to seeing other women as sexy instead of having only eyes for Her.

Carpathians' post is definitly worth reading it and it was a little eye-opener for me. Focusing on my own life instead of making other people happy is a thing i want to change about myself (and probably comes from an imagined low-self esteem). thanks for that post.

Cu in a few Days - RoKKo

 

[finality]

Day 8.

Have a date tonight with a girl I already banged. Tomorrow I have 2 first dates, one a walk with the dog and the other out for drinks.

Doesn't make a difference though..can't stop thinking about the BPD ex. I feel so defeated. That's just real talk.

I'll go out and put on a charming mask and game new women to bed but its all fake..I just miss my ex. Feel almost suicidal. These BPD women are devils.

 

[Roober]

Day 8.

Have a date tonight with a girl I already banged. Tomorrow I have 2 first dates, one a walk with the dog and the other out for drinks.

Doesn't make a difference though..can't stop thinking about the BPD ex. I feel so defeated. That's just real talk.

I'll go out and put on a charming mask and game new women to bed but its all fake..I just miss my ex. Feel almost suicidal. These BPD women are devils.

Stay strong man, it will pass!