"The Kiss of Death Mistake"
You replay the conversation at 2 a.m. She texted back fast yesterday. Today, nothing. Was that smile friendly or flirty? What did the shoulder touch mean?
Every hour you spend decoding her signals drains your confidence and hands her the controls. Women can sense that insecurity from across the room — and it repels them.
One of the "22 Rules" kills the obsession on the spot: assume she likes you, and act accordingly. Sounds too simple. Works anyway.
Her interest tends to rise to meet your expectations. Psychologists call it a self-fulfilling prophecy.
The *No Contact* Challenge! ( Read this if you just got dumped)
- Thread starter Daydream Engineer
- Start date
. Continue on this path."Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
PantyWhisperer
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Jul 21, 2016
- Messages
- 536
- Reaction score
- 350
Just checking in to report 123 days of NC and still going strong!
Carpathian
Senior Don Juan
@Juan Manuel Ask yourself this very simple, basic question.... Why the FUKK do you want to spend time and pine after a woman who does not want to be with you? You seem to be endlessly searching the Internet looking for validation and reasons to hope that you'll be back together someday soon. Why are you doing this to yourself? Have some self respect man! You want to be with someone WHO WANTS TO BE WITH YOU!!!!!!! You want someone who does not play these stupid games with you. If she doesn't see you as the great guy you are then that is her loss. See yourself as the great guy that you are! You will find someone better than her in time. She has done you a great favor. Improve your game. And then, one day, when she comes to your door begging you to take her back in six months, the new, lean, mean, smart Juan Michael with the hot new girlfriend you will laugh at her and you will tell her to get the fukk off your lawn.......
Get this ex woman off her pedestal right now dude. Put your oneitis in the garbage.
Get this ex woman off her pedestal right now dude. Put your oneitis in the garbage.
Day 37
Going NC was not that hard.After months of her basically toying with me,keeping me on the hook we eventually had a talk where after confronting her for her intentions she told me that she wants to talk to me every now and then because I am a person she loves and appreciates.Yeah,right...I didn't buy it for one second.I was determined to move on from this ungrateful woman.
The first couple of days were hard.However I had already decided it is time for me to become a real man and stop acting like the biggest sissy on this side of planet earth.What followed was better than expected.I started focusing on me and my goals in life,had sex with another chick,hitting the gym again,making and spending more money for the things I like doing and having a great time overall.Days came that I did not even think about her once.
Then,two days ago it happened.I was out with my mates when suddenly she walked by hand in hand with another dude.Hard to describe what I felt at that moment.I was waiting for my "princess",the holy,golden vag I put so high on that pedestal while she was getting her brains f*cked by someone else.Great,one more reason I felt glad I still had the chance.Even the smallest possibility of me having second thoughts about this was erased.
However I got to be honest with you.Emotionally I feel so empty when I picture this.moment.I clearly have been completely replaced.Everything I once were for her is now someone else.I am now totally insignificant in her life,a thing of the past,something long dead and gone.I know it sucks and I don't want to be the crazy lunatic still longing for something no one cares about.I know mine was the right decision,after all I broke up with her because she was a controlling freak who wanted to lock me up in a cage inside her home so all my life would revolve around her.
I hope I can use this as a hard lesson taught in life and fuel for becoming a true alpha like a man is destined to be.No woman should have the power to control your head like that.But since that event I have a problem concentrating on stuff I want and have to do.I have to develop the right mindset I guess.
Going NC was not that hard.After months of her basically toying with me,keeping me on the hook we eventually had a talk where after confronting her for her intentions she told me that she wants to talk to me every now and then because I am a person she loves and appreciates.Yeah,right...I didn't buy it for one second.I was determined to move on from this ungrateful woman.
The first couple of days were hard.However I had already decided it is time for me to become a real man and stop acting like the biggest sissy on this side of planet earth.What followed was better than expected.I started focusing on me and my goals in life,had sex with another chick,hitting the gym again,making and spending more money for the things I like doing and having a great time overall.Days came that I did not even think about her once.
Then,two days ago it happened.I was out with my mates when suddenly she walked by hand in hand with another dude.Hard to describe what I felt at that moment.I was waiting for my "princess",the holy,golden vag I put so high on that pedestal while she was getting her brains f*cked by someone else.Great,one more reason I felt glad I still had the chance.Even the smallest possibility of me having second thoughts about this was erased.
However I got to be honest with you.Emotionally I feel so empty when I picture this.moment.I clearly have been completely replaced.Everything I once were for her is now someone else.I am now totally insignificant in her life,a thing of the past,something long dead and gone.I know it sucks and I don't want to be the crazy lunatic still longing for something no one cares about.I know mine was the right decision,after all I broke up with her because she was a controlling freak who wanted to lock me up in a cage inside her home so all my life would revolve around her.
I hope I can use this as a hard lesson taught in life and fuel for becoming a true alpha like a man is destined to be.No woman should have the power to control your head like that.But since that event I have a problem concentrating on stuff I want and have to do.I have to develop the right mindset I guess.
Give it time and keep on working on yourself my friend, you're putting in work on yourself and keep that up.
It's hard I'm not going to lie, I'm roughly around the same amount of time of NC as you are.
I still get thoughts of her and all that bs, mine was a BPD phsyco who got Physicaly violent on top of that.
By the sounds of it, you got out before it got worse man, consider it a blessing, would you want to live the rest of your life with that?
Work on yourself man, onwards and upwards, she will come back and you will observe, you would have advanced and she wouldn't have.
As dory says in Finding Nemo "just keep swimming" hahaha
P. S I need to start following my advice lol
Adz--
"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"
You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.
For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.
Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.
The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.
Thanks watching you guys have the strength to keep with this no contact inspires me. I think in the last week, it has struck me how much of a woman it is easy to become in our relationships. At least for me - when you have put more into the relationship than the other side and you barely notice - this makes a breakup inevitable and I had it coming. The only thing is I didn't see it coming.
Still working on this ... NC would now be on 4 days. Still hit reset because she got me something on Monday and I was forced to just tell her that I can't accept gifts from her. That brought me out of NC because I feel bad with leaving her hanging. Maybe it shows I am hurt but I feel out of respect for the other side, you gotta tell them. I know these are only breadcrumbs.......
Still working on this ... NC would now be on 4 days. Still hit reset because she got me something on Monday and I was forced to just tell her that I can't accept gifts from her. That brought me out of NC because I feel bad with leaving her hanging. Maybe it shows I am hurt but I feel out of respect for the other side, you gotta tell them. I know these are only breadcrumbs.......
resilient
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Nov 15, 2005
- Messages
- 1,636
- Reaction score
- 1,366
Welcome. You're a newcomer and you helped a long time DJ like me stay NC last week.
NC is like a muscle, you have to consciously be aware of it and use it to your advantage. Also, no one can force you to do anything. You have free will. If you wanted to ignore the gift, ignore the gift or let her leave it on the doorstep or with a roommate until she gets the clue.
Once you're both broken up, you're not obligated to feel like you're leaving her hanging.
It's good that you realize what they are. Ignore and act accordingly. She'll get the hint and move one when she sees you've successfully moved on without emotional strings attached. Responses to texts, emails or phone calls always keeps you attached. This is where you need to detach if you want to truly move on.
Day 46
Ive messed myself up today. I ended up taking a look through her instagram and twitter.
Felt my heart pumping and all that other bs when I looked at it. That's my own damn fault. I should have known better.
She had a pic up of her and someone's arm holding on to her.
On a side note. Got into some bs with one of my friends who's a girl and need some advice. Long story short, she wanted to come and chill with me at work for the second day but she was ill and I said to her no. You're not coming I don't want to get ill and was being a bit of a d1ck. She got pissy and hung up.
I left it for a week but needed a favour from her, so I called her up. She said I'm annoyed at you bla bla bla, and is still bitter over it cos I made her feel like she's got aids and I'm gonna catch it.
I addressed that to her, and some other things and shes still the same. I dropped her a msg saying "come to my work place so we can sort this"
She replied with "U can come to me if you want to sort things"
Now this p1ssed me the f*ck off, cos shes twisting sh1t. But on the other hand I need some favours from her.
Can someone advice me on how to go about these things.
Adz--
Ive messed myself up today. I ended up taking a look through her instagram and twitter.
Felt my heart pumping and all that other bs when I looked at it. That's my own damn fault. I should have known better.
She had a pic up of her and someone's arm holding on to her.
On a side note. Got into some bs with one of my friends who's a girl and need some advice. Long story short, she wanted to come and chill with me at work for the second day but she was ill and I said to her no. You're not coming I don't want to get ill and was being a bit of a d1ck. She got pissy and hung up.
I left it for a week but needed a favour from her, so I called her up. She said I'm annoyed at you bla bla bla, and is still bitter over it cos I made her feel like she's got aids and I'm gonna catch it.
I addressed that to her, and some other things and shes still the same. I dropped her a msg saying "come to my work place so we can sort this"
She replied with "U can come to me if you want to sort things"
Now this p1ssed me the f*ck off, cos shes twisting sh1t. But on the other hand I need some favours from her.
Can someone advice me on how to go about these things.
Adz--
Day 50
So today, I was sitting around with my class mates having a beer when I got a phone call, Now I answered cos I thought it could be my counseling assessment or something (I self referred for some counseling\ therapy)
It was her (I didn't know it was her cos I don't have her number saved)
She starts saying why have you been talking to my family and met my brother.
I told her how it was, they contacted me first and he wanted to meet me.
She didn't buy it, no surprise. And said delete all their contacts they want f*ck all to do with you, and don't piss me off anymore then I already am.
I said what are you going to do, she said don't worry I'll see you soon
I said no you're not.
And hung up.
I've been feeling like crap for the last 49days cos of this shizz, but after today I'm fed up and starting not to give a damn about her or this whole thing.
If she comes to my home or anything like that I'll just get a restraining order on her or something. As for her family members part of things. If they want to talk to me then cool, If they don't then cool. Im not gonna reach out to them though and I have never done so.
That's it for now. Let you guys know what happens, also does this mean I'm back on day 1 again?
Adz--
So today, I was sitting around with my class mates having a beer when I got a phone call, Now I answered cos I thought it could be my counseling assessment or something (I self referred for some counseling\ therapy)
It was her (I didn't know it was her cos I don't have her number saved)
She starts saying why have you been talking to my family and met my brother.
I told her how it was, they contacted me first and he wanted to meet me.
She didn't buy it, no surprise. And said delete all their contacts they want f*ck all to do with you, and don't piss me off anymore then I already am.
I said what are you going to do, she said don't worry I'll see you soon
I said no you're not.
And hung up.
I've been feeling like crap for the last 49days cos of this shizz, but after today I'm fed up and starting not to give a damn about her or this whole thing.
If she comes to my home or anything like that I'll just get a restraining order on her or something. As for her family members part of things. If they want to talk to me then cool, If they don't then cool. Im not gonna reach out to them though and I have never done so.
That's it for now. Let you guys know what happens, also does this mean I'm back on day 1 again?
Adz--
So I've got to thank you guys. I have dated a lot of women(7 in like 8 months after NC if I recall) a lot of my girl friends started to look at me with different eyes, even date one of her. I've got to say that the sparkle with my ex just appeared yesterday, I wanted to be an assistant for a doctor/teacher in my university, after talking to one of her previous assistant, she send me a text (we haven't sent a text for like 8 months) saying that she will visit the doctor and that i should go to.
I did it, talk to her a little and even take her back with my car to the university and went to my class.
It'll be weird to be an assistant with her by my side and give class in the same room but well, I've to endure it keep forward.
She missed me, maybe as a bestfriend that I was, but more than that I don't know.
I did it, talk to her a little and even take her back with my car to the university and went to my class.
It'll be weird to be an assistant with her by my side and give class in the same room but well, I've to endure it keep forward.
She missed me, maybe as a bestfriend that I was, but more than that I don't know.
"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"
She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.
Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.
The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.
PantyWhisperer
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Jul 21, 2016
- Messages
- 536
- Reaction score
- 350
I'm at day 131 and still going strong!! Keep up the good work, friends!
B
BlueAlpha1
Guest
Yes, and the fact that you laid out a manuscript for us and then had to ask that question at the end means you made very little progress, which you should have in 50 days. When you heard it was her, why didn't you hang up immediately?
And why is someone still counting at 131 days??? I mean I understand "remembering" the general number of months or whatever...but come on, you're still counting by the day?
"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"
When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.
Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.
Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.
The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.
Carpathian
Senior Don Juan
Hang in there dude. You are doing great. You know in your heart you need to do this, ignore that demon monkey on your back telling you to reply.
Day 3
After 5 months of doing everything for her, we broke it off 3 days ago. I am supposed to the best guy she has ever met and yet she broke it off without looking back. She wrote me on the day after telling me how hard it was for her not to write to me etc crap... I did not reply. I have deleted all contact with her.
I am feeling weak though. Regrets and feeling of inadequacy plagues me now... I have to stay strong. NC. Thanks for being here.
After 5 months of doing everything for her, we broke it off 3 days ago. I am supposed to the best guy she has ever met and yet she broke it off without looking back. She wrote me on the day after telling me how hard it was for her not to write to me etc crap... I did not reply. I have deleted all contact with her.
I am feeling weak though. Regrets and feeling of inadequacy plagues me now... I have to stay strong. NC. Thanks for being here.
She wrote to me again. Stupid whatsapp shows status and she wrote to me when I was online. However, I did not read it or answer it... Wondering if I should answer back curtly and tell her I need space or just keep on ignoring her?
"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"
Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."
You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.
She's been waiting forty minutes.
Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.