The *No Contact* Challenge! ( Read this if you just got dumped)

[Glassguy]

A little late, but I am going to jump in on this. I was leery at first because I am at the point that it may be a constant reminder of her to put updates on here but I think I am past that stage.

I am on day 22 of no contact. My ex (3 yr LTR that ended surprisingly February 11th, we were engaged last October and the wedding was planned for May 28th of this year). At first I was butthurt and chased a little and tried to talk to her after the breakup. That lasted about 2 weeks. We sat down at one point for 2 hours to talk, 10 days after the breakup, which ended with her kissing all over me before I left and then a few days later she went cold again. So I dropped the chasing her real quick.

I thought that I had wiped her off all my social media but I didnt unfollow her on Instagram. Saturday night I scroll through and see a pic of her and a guy that says "This guy ". Funny thing is, when we first started dating, the first pic she ever put on social media of us said.....get ready for it...."This guy". Ironic lol.

So seeing the pic made me realize the importance of ending all for of communication, especially social media, IMMEDIATELY after a break up. Its not a good feeling.

My ex has never been married and no kids. I was married before and have a 12 year old daughter, and I am 12 years older than her The age was never a problem....but my daughter was at some points because I couldnt just up and go somewhere on a whim. She is 26 I am 38. Funny thing is the new guy is my age and has a 4 yr old son and an ex wife in the picture (they got divorced just months ago). I have full custody of my daughter and she is very independent. No baby mama drama lol. Its just me and my daughter.

So seeing this pic of her and the new guy on Instagram stung.....but I am pass the point of being butt hurt over it. I've got one young chick I've been smashing and several others lined up. So I did what any alpha male would do when I saw the pic.....NOTHING. She will not get a rise out of me over it if she is looking for one.

I just stepped back and grinned....if she couldnt make a 3 yr LTR and planned wedding in 2 weeks work with my situation, it will be fun to see how she handles a new man with a 4 year old son and pissed off ex wife in the picture. Get the popcorn out.

Now time to work on these other chicks that want to smash.

 

[alex_in24]

A little late, but I am going to jump in on this. I was leery at first because I am at the point that it may be a constant reminder of her to put updates on here but I think I am past that stage.

I am on day 22 of no contact. My ex (3 yr LTR that ended surprisingly February 11th, we were engaged last October and the wedding was planned for May 28th of this year). At first I was butthurt and chased a little and tried to talk to her after the breakup. That lasted about 2 weeks. We sat down at one point for 2 hours to talk, 10 days after the breakup, which ended with her kissing all over me before I left and then a few days later she went cold again. So I dropped the chasing her real quick.

I thought that I had wiped her off all my social media but I didnt unfollow her on Instagram. Saturday night I scroll through and see a pic of her and a guy that says "This guy ". Funny thing is, when we first started dating, the first pic she ever put on social media of us said.....get ready for it...."This guy". Ironic lol.

So seeing the pic made me realize the importance of ending all for of communication, especially social media, IMMEDIATELY after a break up. Its not a good feeling.

My ex has never been married and no kids. I was married before and have a 12 year old daughter, and I am 12 years older than her The age was never a problem....but my daughter was at some points because I couldnt just up and go somewhere on a whim. She is 26 I am 38. Funny thing is the new guy is my age and has a 4 yr old son and an ex wife in the picture (they got divorced just months ago). I have full custody of my daughter and she is very independent. No baby mama drama lol. Its just me and my daughter.

So seeing this pic of her and the new guy on Instagram stung.....but I am pass the point of being butt hurt over it. I've got one young chick I've been smashing and several others lined up. So I did what any alpha male would do when I saw the pic.....NOTHING. She will not get a rise out of me over it if she is looking for one.

I just stepped back and grinned....if she couldnt make a 3 yr LTR and planned wedding in 2 weeks work with my situation, it will be fun to see how she handles a new man with a 4 year old son and pissed off ex wife in the picture. Get the popcorn out.

Now time to work on these other chicks that want to smash.

Wow, reading your story makes me think of the mine as a piece of cake. You were 3 yrs together and engaged and she just went cold like that, and found a new guy ? AWALT. Same situation as mine, except we were not engaged and we were same age. Believe me, she will get over you in a blink of an eye, and if ur smart and alpha enough, u will do just the same.

Best way to get over someone, is to get under someone else. And yeah, go NC for lifetime. First 2 months maybe will be a bit hard, but after that, u wont even bother replying to her even if she messages u.

 

[Glassguy]

Yep...Engaged and supposed to be married in 4 months when she gave me the ring back. It was tough at first. It wasnt an easy pill to swallow. But I will not be a beta and give her the reaction she may be searching for. I will just store that emotion I had when I saw her pic of her and the new guy away and let it be a reminder if she ever reaches out.

 

[dustmuffin]

Yep...Engaged and supposed to be married in 4 months when she gave me the ring back. It was tough at first. It wasnt an easy pill to swallow. But I will not be a beta and give her the reaction she may be searching for. I will just store that emotion I had when I saw her pic of her and the new guy away and let it be a reminder if she ever reaches out.

She did you a favor. Now enhance your value and get some strange. My ex did me a favor too. She is a unique kind of crazy. Think about you exs bad qualities. This helps a lot when you have her on your mind

 

[Glassguy]

She did you a favor. Now enhance your value and get some strange. My ex did me a favor too. She is a unique kind of crazy. Think about you exs bad qualities. This helps a lot when you have her on your mind

You're 100% correct. It's hard to see until a few weeks/months apart take the rose colored glasses off! I'm 36 and have been smashing mid to upper 20 yr olds like nothing (7s-9s). The more I tell them I don't want anything more, the more they want. It's starting to be hard to juggle several at the same time. Tough life lol.

 

[Glassguy]

Day 23 feels just like day 22. Nothing lol.

A slight thought here and there but its better every day. Another smash prospect lined up for this weekend. Life is good.

 

[alex_in24]

Day 22 of NC

Starting to get attention and compliments on my looks from people i haven't met in a while. Complimenting my gains and saying that overall i look very handsome and seem happier.Gained about 10lbs/4kgs in about a month in the gym. Using creatine monohydrate, and it seems very benefical for me.

The past 2-3 days i really don't think bout her that often. Some thought here and there. And i am not even that busy and occupied so i could be distracted.

The only thing that i keep on my mind, is not going on the same routs and paths that she does, so i can't see her. Also avoiding ''our'' places because it can trigger my emotions pretty easily, but that is not backed up since I haven't been in any of our places for a while. So maybe i will act indifferent, who knows.

That's it for today i guess.

 

[Glassguy]

Day 24 and I honestly feel great. I didnt even think of the ex until I saw a browser open on my work pc with this forum up.

Yesterday I got a new lead.....seems down to smash. I have too many oars in the water so to speak so I mentally put one girl I have been smashing the past 2 weeks on the bench. She was getting a little clingy anyways after I clearly let her know what I wanted, no more no less.I will rotate her back into the starting lineup if one of the starters gets flaky.

Life is good.

 

[alex_in24]

Day 23

Why do i feel so good and manly because i hard nexted a plate today ?? As soon as i nexted her, i felt a huge blast of manliness haha and im being serious right now. Dunno why, but i feel way better after doing that.

 

[alex_in24]

Day 24

Not gonna lie. I feel sad. I miss her. I miss her laughter, miss her stupid jokes, miss her stupid face. Had a dream this morning, me and her laying in bed, she got her arms around me with one leg over my body. She was kissing me softly as i was laying there and just embracing the moment. That shook me honestly.

First day i feel like this after some good 7 days. I am aware of the ups and downs so i accept this, and i am trying to regain control over my emotions. Thinking about all the negative stuff i know and found out about her makes me a little bit better.

Why do i love her ?? why do i love the woman who did not respect me, who did not love me and who did not want to be with me ? Why do i love the woman that is fvcking my neighbor in just 2 weeks since the break up ?

Hope this sh!t ends, and i hope i am indifferent in the near future.

 

[Fireballs]

Day 24

Not gonna lie. I feel sad. I miss her. I miss her laughter, miss her stupid jokes, miss her stupid face. Had a dream this morning, me and her laying in bed, she got her arms around me with one leg over my body. She was kissing me softly as i was laying there and just embracing the moment. That shook me honestly.

First day i feel like this after some good 7 days. I am aware of the ups and downs so i accept this, and i am trying to regain control over my emotions. Thinking about all the negative stuff i know and found out about her makes me a little bit better.

Why do i love her ?? why do i love the woman who did not respect me, who did not love me and who did not want to be with me ? Why do i love the woman that is fvcking my neighbor in just 2 weeks since the break up ?

Hope this sh!t ends, and i hope i am indifferent in the near future.

I know what it's like, yesterday felt like day 1 again for me lol... We'll get there

 

[alex_in24]

I know what it's like, yesterday felt like day 1 again for me lol... We'll get there

I hope and believe we do. At the end of the day, god damn we are MEN. We are the dominant force in this god damn world.

 

[finality]

I'm back on day 3 of NC. I ended up sleeping with my ex last Friday.

Its hard when she calls/texts every day to ignore, ignore, ignore. I'm pretty much over her at this point though so the 30/60/90 days of NC is just a formality at this point. She broke up with me over two months ago so a better man would already be a 60 days but you live and learn. I played her game and lost, and while I will eventually look back at the past couple months and have a ton of regret how I handled the situation, the experience will make me a much better man.

I think the best advice I can offer someone reading this thread is that your situation is NEVER different. There is a lot of great advice offered here but you need to be willing to accept it. The other piece of advice I would offer is stay the hell away from relationship books. When my ex broke up with me I wanted to read all the information out there how be an expert with women but all that did is make me compare how I handled/should've handled different situations. I was keeping myself stuck in analytical relationship mode and it wasn't helpful for moving on or for grasping the information in a meaningful way.

Things are looking good for me though. I finish college this Sunday, I have a final interview today with a company that would pay me 20k more than I was making before, I've been working out twice a day and I'm in the best shape of my life, and I met a women that I have amazing chemistry with. I went out with 7 or 8 different women after my ex broke up with me and this is the first one that I NEEDED to get close to. We kissed like 30 minutes into our first date. She is coming over on Saturday

 

[alex_in24]

I'm back on day 3 of NC. I ended up sleeping with my ex last Friday.

Its hard when she calls/texts every day to ignore, ignore, ignore. I'm pretty much over her at this point though so the 30/60/90 days of NC is just a formality at this point. She broke up with me over two months ago so a better man would already be a 60 days but you live and learn. I played her game and lost, and while I will eventually look back at the past couple months and have a ton of regret how I handled the situation, the experience will make me a much better man.

I think the best advice I can offer someone reading this thread is that your situation is NEVER different. There is a lot of great advice offered here but you need to be willing to accept it. The other piece of advice I would offer is stay the hell away from relationship books. When my ex broke up with me I wanted to read all the information out there how be an expert with women but all that did is make me compare how I handled/should've handled different situations. I was keeping myself stuck in analytical relationship mode and it wasn't helpful for moving on or for grasping the information in a meaningful way.

Things are looking good for me though. I finish college this Sunday, I have a final interview today with a company that would pay me 20k more than I was making before, I've been working out twice a day and I'm in the best shape of my life, and I met a women that I have amazing chemistry with. I went out with 7 or 8 different women after my ex broke up with me and this is the first one that I NEEDED to get close to. We kissed like 30 minutes into our first date. She is coming over on Saturday

Dude if u are still fvcking ur ex, believe me, ur not over her no matter what u say to yourself. U mentioned u got some new girl going on. You want to mess that up because of ur ex ?? Think about it for a second. Or just make a decicison what u really want. This hot and cold game u are playing isnt bringing benefits to neither party. Either go full NC and try to work it out with the new girl, or get stuck in the past.

See how much benefits u have from breaking up with her. U are finishing college, and u are almost hired in a better and wealthier company. Like u said, u've never looked better EVER and u've had some adventures with more than 5 women EASILY!!!

I also noticed the word "NEEDED" in ur sentence..and i completely understand you what u meant by that because i've felt the same way. Believe me, u didnt mean that u NEEDED to get close to..u are just addicted to the closeness and the love that ur ex gave to u. And u are trying to find that feeling into this new girl. Dont rush things with her. I believe u are still not that sober so u can attempt to love some1 else. Just go with the flow, and be open for a relationship, dont be needy.

Before u go out with some girl next time, dress yourself, get a good haircut, get that pump from the gym, feel positive and TAKE A LOOK AT THE MIRROR! What do you see ? I'll tell what you will see. You will see a MAN that is desperately wanted by that chick waiting for u at the bar. That is desperately wanted by that company that u gave extraordinary impression. That is MAN enough to control his emotions, maintain frame at the worst possible moments and to never look back because thats a rude manner. That lives for today and plans and works for the better future.

Still want to sleep with ur ex ?? Yeah, I thought so

 

[Glassguy]

It does not serve you to judge your loving. Loving does not come from logic.

You are moving on from her. Don't judge the dreams and thoughts of her. You are detoxing, so to speak. Be kind to yourself through the process.

Remain aware of where your time and attention are best invested, for you and your life. Keep your focus on those things. You are doing just that. Remind yourself that you are right on track.

Very true. And realize that there ARE going to be great things that you miss from the relationship, but you have to block that out and start remembering the DISRESPECT and other things that you did not like. THAT is what is going to mentally get your mind right to not only move forward without her and eventually not care, but also put you on the path to YOUR happiness and ultimately find someone that is going to give you all of those good things (many times better) without all the bullsh!t negatives.

So after saying that, I am now on day 25 and I cant remember the last time I woke up with her on my mind, which used to be an every morning occurrence.

I have a lunch date scheduled with a 8.5/9 in just a few minutes that will lead to another date tomorrow night. Saturday night is booked with another 8.5/9 and I am still spinning plates.

Life is hard sometimes. You just have to make your mind up that a failed relationship, no matter how hard, lets you see the person in their true colors AFTER the break up (mind games, hatefulness, deceit, etc.) and make yourself understand that THIS is the person you were dating all along. I have been through this twice, once married and now a 3 yr LTR (engaged) that seemed like she really was the one. Society will make you guarded but do not let it keep you down! We all think "there will never be another like her" after a breakup. Trust me, you dont want another one like her! Now go out and find something better. Better yet, have 3-4 of them coming at you and pick your poison because you my friend have options!

 

[curtsnokc]

I have found that an easy way to figure out who to ignore all comes down to texting.

It seems that if a woman is really interested in a man, she will CALL or Come by to SEE him. Notice I didn't say TEXT him. Texting girls forever is just silly. Just use it to break the ice and establish a connection but after that if they won't see you, tell them to give u a call someday if they like to go out. I totally remove anything to do w texting now and say it's off limits unless I'm n a relationship w you. Man has it made the chics chase me and saved me so much time living in their fake, virtual BS world!

THE NO CONTACT CHALLENGE - Daydream Enginner

Hey Guys and girls,


Let's start the No Contact Challenge. This has personally helped me 2 years ago, and i have seen many members asking for "how to get my ex back", and after breakup questions. The idea is a simple one, for 60 days, you will not talk or communicate with the girl that bazooka your heart. In any way, form, or communication, and every time you feel like saying something to her, you will write what you were going to tell her, AND/OR why you want to contact her, in this thread instead. This has been field tested by me, and it works from selling your soul to the she-devil.

You are going to do No Contact for yourself, you need to get away from here and move on. You will feel a transformation at the end of your challenge, and the ex that broke your heart, won't be a parasite in your mind anymore. You might even get your ex's attraction back, but you will be busy thinking about other girls to give her a second chance.

Let's begin,
Here are the rules:

1. First of all, before you do anything, read these articles:

The "Just Got Dumped" GUIDE
http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=155594

The Ultimate Break Up Guide…
http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=38886

and....

No Contact - The Guide



...continued.

THE NO CONTACT CHALLENGE - Daydream Enginner

Hey Guys and girls,


Let's start the No Contact Challenge. This has personally helped me 2 years ago, and i have seen many members asking for "how to get my ex back", and after breakup questions. The idea is a simple one, for 60 days, you will not talk or communicate with the girl that bazooka your heart. In any way, form, or communication, and every time you feel like saying something to her, you will write what you were going to tell her, AND/OR why you want to contact her, in this thread instead. This has been field tested by me, and it works from selling your soul to the she-devil.

You are going to do No Contact for yourself, you need to get away from here and move on. You will feel a transformation at the end of your challenge, and the ex that broke your heart, won't be a parasite in your mind anymore. You might even get your ex's attraction back, but you will be busy thinking about other girls to give her a second chance.

Let's begin,
Here are the rules:

1. First of all, before you do anything, read these articles:

The "Just Got Dumped" GUIDE
http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=155594

The Ultimate Break Up Guide…
http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=38886

and....

No Contact - The Guide



...continued.

 

[alex_in24]

Day 25 NC


Feeling pretty well this morning. I wouldn't have come here to post this at all but as i opened my browser, SoSuave came up so..there we are.

Last night I was out with some old friends. We had a great night, spoke to some chicks with this friend of mine, didnt actually made out with them, but it was fun experience, we laughed at least.

But the thing is, wherever I go, whomever i am with, the questions about my ex always come up. And that really bothers me. This friend yesterday, I bet he came with us just so he can speak to me and laugh at my face about my break up. I played it cool, kept frame, but it really bothered me.

Also at my gym. I've been going with my ex in this same gym i am going now so basically everyone knows that we are/were a couple. Few days ago, the owner of the gym ( which i thought i was pretty close with) just punched the question at me out of nowhere : "so whats the thing between u 2, u broke up ??" I told him like, yeah we split friendly, whats enough its enough. But the thing is, u know how he knows that ??? Yeah, that neighbor of mine who is also going in the same gym, told him that HE is now ****ing my ex, and i bet that the owner just laughed at my face when i told him that we split friendly. And right now, I look like a douchebag in their eyes, like some played beta, like a beta who was so in love with his gf, and that girl is now branch swinging all around the town in just days after breaking up.

I really don't know how to act on this one. It turns out like i am so blind and stupid, and everyone laughs at me now because of my stupidness because i couldn't see how much of a sl*t my ex was/is and that I actually believed and pedestaled her.

thats it i guess

 

[MrWood]

if working out is an important part of your life, change gyms

 

[alex_in24]

if working out is an important part of your life, change gyms

I'm definitely changing the gym. Got 5 more days till my card is valid, and im changing it after that.

 

[dustmuffin]

I'm definitely changing the gym. Got 5 more days till my card is valid, and im changing it after that.

Don't worry about what others think of you. If another asks why you broke up just say it didn't work out and leave it at that. As far as your ex f uck ing everyone in town that's on her. She is no longer your concern.