The *No Contact* Challenge! ( Read this if you just got dumped)

[Reykhel]

Thanks man.

DAY 6

Yesterday was a weird day. I woke up feeling pretty good and then around 11-2 I sunk into DEEP depression with no warning. It was like a nice sunny day and then 20 minutes later a tornado is tearing everything apart. Somehow I recovered and then made a plan to meet a HB for a drink. It went pretty well in terms of my ability to make her laugh ect but I wasn't really attracted to her but pretended she was a HB10 because she drove to meet me so I might as well treat her to a good time. Later on in the day I sunk into depression again. My biggest problem right now is I feel my X stole all my dignity. I don't care that she left me for someone else as much as I care that I didn't act like a man, trust my gut, believed her when she showed me who she was through her actions, and walked away.

It feels weird.. like I was raped or something and I feel used.

When a women gets raped by a man he robs her of her innocence. I feel like I was robbed of my self dignity.

Anyways, I have a date on Tuesday with a pretty good looking girl. I met her 2 years ago before I started dating my X and I reached out last week and despite only talking to her for a week 2 years ago she remember my dogs name! That's high interest. Things are also progressing with my plate from a different city. We are going to skype in the next couple days or so and hopefully things will progress to the point that when she comes down in 3 weeks that sex is basically a given.

Thread carefully.

If you're still feeling like that..."like I was raped or something and I feel used", and you're throwing yourself
back into the dating world, you're walking into a potential minefield. If you get dumped, rejected or used by one of your plates or potential plates, is your frame strong enough to handle it? is your inner confidence strong enough to handle it? Is the essence of your ex out of your system or are you going to project her ghost onto your new plates?

If you start your new adventures with your plates with the same mindset that you have/had when you started your relationship with your ex, don't be surprised if history repeats itself......again...and again.

So you didn't feel that "you acted like a man, you didn't trust your gut, and you didn't walk away when she showed you who she was by her actions"

Can you change the past?
Can you learn anything from it?
Will it serve you to beat yourself up over it?
Will it serve you to learn from it?
What can you do differently to ensure past LESSONS don't need to be learned again?

 

[finality]

Thread carefully.

If you're still feeling like that..."like I was raped or something and I feel used", and you're throwing yourself
back into the dating world, you're walking into a potential minefield. If you get dumped, rejected or used by one of your plates or potential plates, is your frame strong enough to handle it? is your inner confidence strong enough to handle it? Is the essence of your ex out of your system or are you going to project her ghost onto your new plates?

If you start your new adventures with your plates with the same mindset that you have/had when you started your relationship with your ex, don't be surprised if history repeats itself......again...and again.

So you didn't feel that "you acted like a man, you didn't trust your gut, and you didn't walk away when she showed you who she was by her actions"

Can you change the past?
Can you learn anything from it?
Will it serve you to beat yourself up over it?
Will it serve you to learn from it?
What can you do differently to ensure past LESSONS don't need to be learned again?

I feel like no matter what I do I'm in danger. The best thing for me do is to forget about women for the next 3 months but at the same time there is a huge emptiness in my life now. Its hard to do the smart thing when I can go out and get my fix from another women. And I know that it wont even give me the fix that I'm looking for.

I think one of the biggest reasons I feel I need a new girl has to do with proving something to my X. Like telling her I've moved on and I don't care about her. Obviously I'm not operating from a healthy frame. But when I'm perusing other women, taking them out, for a little bit I don't feel depressed.

Felt pretty good earlier this morning and once again I having a feeling of being worthless. I know what I would say to someone in my situation - fuk this chick, make yourself a priority and everything good will fall into place - but its hard to take my own advice. I know this girl is dead but my mind wont let go.

The only way it will let go is by replacing her.... immediately.

 

[finality]

Today is day 7 of NC

I feel better than I did a week ago. My X and I broke up 6 times over 18 months so part of me is having a hard time accepting that it IS over. I had a dream last night that it was 6 months from now and my X showed up at my house and was trying to kiss me and pretend everything was back to normal but I didn't let her kiss me and told her to go.

 

[Reykhel]

I feel like no matter what I do I'm in danger. The best thing for me do is to forget about women for the next 3 months but at the same time there is a huge emptiness in my life now. Its hard to do the smart thing when I can go out and get my fix from another women. And I know that it wont even give me the fix that I'm looking for.

I think one of the biggest reasons I feel I need a new girl has to do with proving something to my X. Like telling her I've moved on and I don't care about her. Obviously I'm not operating from a healthy frame. But when I'm perusing other women, taking them out, for a little bit I don't feel depressed.

Felt pretty good earlier this morning and once again I having a feeling of being worthless. I know what I would say to someone in my situation - fuk this chick, make yourself a priority and everything good will fall into place - but its hard to take my own advice. I know this girl is dead but my mind wont let go.

The only way it will let go is by replacing her.... immediately.

"What does it mean when a man falls in love with a radiant face across the room? It may mean that he has some soul work to do. His soul is the issue.Instead of pursuing the woman and trying to get her alone, away from her husband, he needs to go alone himself, perhaps to a mountain cabin for three months, write poetry, canoe down a river, and dream. That would save some women a lot of trouble" Robert Bly

"A match has been found for me at last; I have fallen in love with a shrub oak." Henry David Thoreau

 

[Reykhel]

 

[_Dream_]

Day 75+
5 months after breakup?

Well it has certainly been an adventure. Since I have been through what many of you are living through right now, you might appreciate my perspective now.

No Contact works. You might have started it for the wrong reason, or it might not be helping you recover, but one thing it will do with 100% certainty: It will stop you from making things worse
RedPill and Manosphere stopped me from wasting my money, time and effort into a girl that hurt me in the worst way. I was cheated on and dumped after 6 years together. Girl I was planing to propose to this year.
This forum gave me company and people to talk to at the time when i needed them the most. It vital that after you get dumped you surround yourself with guys with RedPill mentality. Betas will only do you harm, trust me on this. So post here, dump your emotions, get some advice and hard critique and you will feel much better.
Secondly i want to list books that helped me the most:

• The Rational Male - Rollo Tomassi

Must read about female psychology, if you dont put in effort to read this you deserve all the bad things in life that will happen to you because of girls. Understanding how hypergamy drives female behavior is vital to making sense out of the mess you have in your head right now

• The rational male: preventive medicine - Rollo Tomassi

Continuation on the previous theme, but more focused on how age of a female affects her behaviors and attributes she finds attractive in males

• The Manipulated Man - Ester Vilar

I have never heard someone hating on female gender as this ( female ) author. If you ever catch yourself being all emotional and wanting a sweet little innocent girl in your life, read few chapters from this book. Its a bitter reality check of true female nature and at times hilarious read.

• The Mystery Method - The Venusian Arts

After putting yourself in right mindset this book gives you practical tools to gets girls. Basically how to game chicks. Its purpose is giving you training wheels for systematic practice of hitting on girls until you internalize those behaviors. I personally profited a lot from reading about Compliance checks, Indicators of interests and Kino-escalation.( I manage to make out and fool around with 4 different girls in 48 hours just because of those tips).

• RooshV - Bang

More down-to-earth version of previous book. Its written for average guy, so it doesn't go fully into depth of issues but instead gives solid and awesome advice. I recommend reading it in pair with Mistery Method just so you realize how MUCH those books really have identical principles.

• RooshV - Day Bang

How to get girls over the day at regular places ( where quality girls usually are). Basically a small-talk guide, from which you search for Indicatiors of Interest and then how to most consistently get a date ( phone number) out of it

• Bacherol pad economics - Aaron Clarey

This is a must read for every guy living on this planet. Its a modern man guide for smart usage of your money to maximise happiness in your life. Its heavily influenced by the RedPill mentality ( it even reffers to many of the man-o-sphere blogs). This book made me much happier with myself, and its the only on on this list that isn't centered around girls. Things that matter the most are freedom to do with your time as you wish, drive and friends
_____________________________________________________________________
So how am i feeling right now?
I do still think about my ex a lot ( 6 years are hard to erase ), I still get very sad and lonely at times. But one thing is certain: I DON'T WANT HER BACK.
I get sad because it had to end like this ( and there is no going back), i get mad because i let myself get so emotionally attached that the breakup hit me like a truck. Don't go spy on your ex, it will do nothing but prolong your misery. For few weeks i was extremely nihilistic, but with reading and self improvement it turned into true stoicism. It took a while for me to get how happy and fortunate i really am ( loss of your love can make everything feel disproportionately bad )

• I am 25 years old
• I have master degree in engineering.
• I have no debts and in my account i have saved as much money as an average person earns in a whole year in my country ( since im working in Norway atm)
• I am very popular in my town, and have 5 plates eagerly waiting for my return.
• Soon I will be free to works where i want, travel and do what i want.
• And most importantly bunch of great guy friends waiting for my return, so we can party as hard as we used to before i was in a committed relationship.

Sorry for the long post. Big Thank You for all the bros on this site, your little help meant a world to me when i was at my worst. Take care.

 

[CuddleJunkie]

Day 75+
5 months after breakup?

Well it has certainly been an adventure. Since I have been through what many of you are living through right now, you might appreciate my perspective now.

No Contact works. You might have started it for the wrong reason, or it might not be helping you recover, but one thing it will do with 100% certainty: It will stop you from making things worse
RedPill and Manosphere stopped me from wasting my money, time and effort into a girl that hurt me in the worst way. I was cheated on and dumped after 6 years together. Girl I was planing to propose to this year.
This forum gave me company and people to talk to at the time when i needed them the most. It vital that after you get dumped you surround yourself with guys with RedPill mentality. Betas will only do you harm, trust me on this. So post here, dump your emotions, get some advice and hard critique and you will feel much better.
Secondly i want to list books that helped me the most:

• The Rational Male - Rollo Tomassi

Must read about female psychology, if you dont put in effort to read this you deserve all the bad things in life that will happen to you because of girls. Understanding how hypergamy drives female behavior is vital to making sense out of the mess you have in your head right now

• The rational male: preventive medicine - Rollo Tomassi

Continuation on the previous theme, but more focused on how age of a female affects her behaviors and attributes she finds attractive in males

• The Manipulated Man - Ester Vilar

I have never heard someone hating on female gender as this ( female ) author. If you ever catch yourself being all emotional and wanting a sweet little innocent girl in your life, read few chapters from this book. Its a bitter reality check of true female nature and at times hilarious read.

• The Mystery Method - The Venusian Arts

After putting yourself in right mindset this book gives you practical tools to gets girls. Basically how to game chicks. Its purpose is giving you training wheels for systematic practice of hitting on girls until you internalize those behaviors. I personally profited a lot from reading about Compliance checks, Indicators of interests and Kino-escalation.( I manage to make out and fool around with 4 different girls in 48 hours just because of those tips).

• RooshV - Bang

More down-to-earth version of previous book. Its written for average guy, so it doesn't go fully into depth of issues but instead gives solid and awesome advice. I recommend reading it in pair with Mistery Method just so you realize how MUCH those books really have identical principles.

• RooshV - Day Bang

How to get girls over the day at regular places ( where quality girls usually are). Basically a small-talk guide, from which you search for Indicatiors of Interest and then how to most consistently get a date ( phone number) out of it

• Bacherol pad economics - Aaron Clarey

This is a must read for every guy living on this planet. Its a modern man guide for smart usage of your money to maximise happiness in your life. Its heavily influenced by the RedPill mentality ( it even reffers to many of the man-o-sphere blogs). This book made me much happier with myself, and its the only on on this list that isn't centered around girls. Things that matter the most are freedom to do with your time as you wish, drive and friends
_____________________________________________________________________
So how am i feeling right now?
I do still think about my ex a lot ( 6 years are hard to erase ), I still get very sad and lonely at times. But one thing is certain: I DON'T WANT HER BACK.
I get sad because it had to end like this ( and there is no going back), i get mad because i let myself get so emotionally attached that the breakup hit me like a truck. Don't go spy on your ex, it will do nothing but prolong your misery. For few weeks i was extremely nihilistic, but with reading and self improvement it turned into true stoicism. It took a while for me to get how happy and fortunate i really am ( loss of your love can make everything feel disproportionately bad )

• I am 25 years old
• I have master degree in engineering.
• I have no debts and in my account i have saved as much money as an average person earns in a whole year in my country ( since im working in Norway atm)
• I am very popular in my town, and have 5 plates eagerly waiting for my return.
• Soon I will be free to works where i want, travel and do what i want.
• And most importantly bunch of great guy friends waiting for my return, so we can party as hard as we used to before i was in a committed relationship.

Sorry for the long post. Big Thank You for all the bros on this site, your little help meant a world to me when i was at my worst. Take care.

Hey man, I remember you and your LMR story haha. I'm extremely happy you are doing so well!

 

[_Dream_]

Hey man, I remember you and your LMR story haha. I'm extremely happy you are doing so well!

haha yeah, those were some hard days . Thx for being there, I felt like i should leave some feedback since i got better. I hope you're doing fine too.

 

[CuddleJunkie]

haha yeah, those were some hard days . Thx for being there, I felt like i should leave some feedback since i got better. I hope you're doing fine too.

I am! And better each day!

 

[finality]

X called me about something she still had at my house. I shouldn't have picked up but I did. I talked to her for 90 minutes. Basically 90 minutes of her telling me why I was wrong for her. For some reason I listened and told her that I could be friends. She said she couldn't be friends because that would be disrespectful to her new boyfriend. She even told me about how her new bf took her to the mountains last week. Conversation ended when she said she will never talk to me again.

I feel like I took a huge step back. It feels like she just broke up with me even though she already broke up with me. Day one starting tomorrow I guess.

 

[Reykhel]

X called me about something she still had at my house. I shouldn't have picked up but I did. I talked to her for 90 minutes. Basically 90 minutes of her telling me why I was wrong for her. For some reason I listened and told her that I could be friends. She said she couldn't be friends because that would be disrespectful to her new boyfriend. She even told me about how her new bf took her to the mountains last week. Conversation ended when she said she will never talk to me again.

I feel like I took a huge step back. It feels like she just broke up with me even though she already broke up with me. Day one starting tomorrow I guess.

Yep, not to rub salt in your wounds, but you set yourself up to get rejected again.

In all seriousness, what the hell benefit would you get from being friends with your ex? You cannot renegotiate a relationship.

If you're not fvcking her, what use is she to you? this well is no longer giving water. staying here, you'll
die of thirst......

This is a serious question. You are dependent on her for something. You've got to search for the answers to that question. What ever you're dependent on her for and whatever you admire deeply in her.....are
more than likely holes in your personality that are looking to be filled. Deep, dark Jungian shadows
in your psyche. There are great big dragons guarding the answers behind these questions.....slay them
and you'll find riches and jewels beyond your imagination...

Kill the dependency, and work on being independent...........you and only you are responsible for your happiness, your wellbeing, your experience of life on this planet...

....You need a paradigm shift, which will take effort, but will be worth it in the end...

Every decision we make can be viewed as constructive or destructive....

Are you ready to move forward and set this albatross free?

 

[CuddleJunkie]

90 minutes of her telling me why I was wrong for her. For some reason I listened and told her that I could be friends. She even told me about how her new bf took her to the mountains last week. Conversation ended when she said she will never talk to me again.

Finality, read that again. She's a HUGE B!TCH. This girl is a B1TCH. Stop spending 1 more second talking with her. Get some delivery agency to give her her stuff and restart NC, and don't break it this time.
Seriously man, that **** she did is ****ed up.

 

[MrWood]

Well, that chick who wanted to meet and have sex from PoF is a complete nutcase. I had been talking with her through texts for about 3 weeks now. Talked to her on the phone once. I send her a text at around 9 this morning saying "Good morning. Hope you enjoy your day off." Several hours passed and she didn't reply. Then, around 6:30pm she sends this:

"For someone that supposedly likes me u sure don't text me any. like I said before im not gonna be ur last choice. id rather be alone."

Seriously, what the f***?!

American women... go date a Euro girl and you wont get that bro

 

[finality]

This is a serious question. You are dependent on her for something. You've got to search for the answers to that question. What ever you're dependent on her for and whatever you admire deeply in her.....are
more than likely holes in your personality that are looking to be filled. Deep, dark Jungian shadows
in your psyche. There are great big dragons guarding the answers behind these questions.....slay them
and you'll find riches and jewels beyond your imagination...

Great advice. In terms of what I was dependent on.. I always felt that no matter what this girl would NEVER stop loving me. Rookie mistake and after reading Rollo's first book last week I understand how stupid I was to hold that perspective. I guess I was dependent on her always being there for me. It was security to me. I think part of me fears I will never be successful in this world (I'm in school right now) but having someone that loved me made me not have to face those fears alone. By being with her I would NEVER face my fears. Now I have to.

I always wanted to say in my birds nest but she just threw me out and I'm forced to learn how to fly.

A new relationship is a new birds nest for me. That's why I believe I needed a replacement so soon. But what I really need to learn is how to fly.

 

[finality]

Finality, read that again. She's a HUGE B!TCH. This girl is a B1TCH. Stop spending 1 more second talking with her. Get some delivery agency to give her her stuff and restart NC, and don't break it this time.
Seriously man, that **** she did is ****ed up.

I know. I think I forgive her behaviors because doing so prevents me from admitting I was wrong about her. I'm pledging right now that I will finish my 60 days of NC starting tomorrow. I've always been fine in terms of not reaching out but when I see her number the crack is in the pipe and the lighter is in my hand.

She actually called me again 10 minutes after she hung up but it might have been a pocket dial. I wasn't near my phone or otherwise I might have answered.

 

[finality]

Day 75+
5 months after breakup?

Well it has certainly been an adventure. Since I have been through what many of you are living through right now, you might appreciate my perspective now.

No Contact works. You might have started it for the wrong reason, or it might not be helping you recover, but one thing it will do with 100% certainty: It will stop you from making things worse
RedPill and Manosphere stopped me from wasting my money, time and effort into a girl that hurt me in the worst way. I was cheated on and dumped after 6 years together. Girl I was planing to propose to this year.
This forum gave me company and people to talk to at the time when i needed them the most. It vital that after you get dumped you surround yourself with guys with RedPill mentality. Betas will only do you harm, trust me on this. So post here, dump your emotions, get some advice and hard critique and you will feel much better.
Secondly i want to list books that helped me the most:

• The Rational Male - Rollo Tomassi

Must read about female psychology, if you dont put in effort to read this you deserve all the bad things in life that will happen to you because of girls. Understanding how hypergamy drives female behavior is vital to making sense out of the mess you have in your head right now

• The rational male: preventive medicine - Rollo Tomassi

Continuation on the previous theme, but more focused on how age of a female affects her behaviors and attributes she finds attractive in males

• The Manipulated Man - Ester Vilar

I have never heard someone hating on female gender as this ( female ) author. If you ever catch yourself being all emotional and wanting a sweet little innocent girl in your life, read few chapters from this book. Its a bitter reality check of true female nature and at times hilarious read.

• The Mystery Method - The Venusian Arts

After putting yourself in right mindset this book gives you practical tools to gets girls. Basically how to game chicks. Its purpose is giving you training wheels for systematic practice of hitting on girls until you internalize those behaviors. I personally profited a lot from reading about Compliance checks, Indicators of interests and Kino-escalation.( I manage to make out and fool around with 4 different girls in 48 hours just because of those tips).

• RooshV - Bang

More down-to-earth version of previous book. Its written for average guy, so it doesn't go fully into depth of issues but instead gives solid and awesome advice. I recommend reading it in pair with Mistery Method just so you realize how MUCH those books really have identical principles.

• RooshV - Day Bang

How to get girls over the day at regular places ( where quality girls usually are). Basically a small-talk guide, from which you search for Indicatiors of Interest and then how to most consistently get a date ( phone number) out of it

• Bacherol pad economics - Aaron Clarey

This is a must read for every guy living on this planet. Its a modern man guide for smart usage of your money to maximise happiness in your life. Its heavily influenced by the RedPill mentality ( it even reffers to many of the man-o-sphere blogs). This book made me much happier with myself, and its the only on on this list that isn't centered around girls. Things that matter the most are freedom to do with your time as you wish, drive and friends
_____________________________________________________________________
So how am i feeling right now?
I do still think about my ex a lot ( 6 years are hard to erase ), I still get very sad and lonely at times. But one thing is certain: I DON'T WANT HER BACK.
I get sad because it had to end like this ( and there is no going back), i get mad because i let myself get so emotionally attached that the breakup hit me like a truck. Don't go spy on your ex, it will do nothing but prolong your misery. For few weeks i was extremely nihilistic, but with reading and self improvement it turned into true stoicism. It took a while for me to get how happy and fortunate i really am ( loss of your love can make everything feel disproportionately bad )

• I am 25 years old
• I have master degree in engineering.
• I have no debts and in my account i have saved as much money as an average person earns in a whole year in my country ( since im working in Norway atm)
• I am very popular in my town, and have 5 plates eagerly waiting for my return.
• Soon I will be free to works where i want, travel and do what i want.
• And most importantly bunch of great guy friends waiting for my return, so we can party as hard as we used to before i was in a committed relationship.

Sorry for the long post. Big Thank You for all the bros on this site, your little help meant a world to me when i was at my worst. Take care.

Thanks for posting the books. I plan on reading every one.

 

[Reykhel]

A new FRAME...no fvcks left to give

 

[CuddleJunkie]

American women... go date a Euro girl and you wont get that bro

You're wrong. Source: I'm european. lol

 

[finality]

Well today is day one of NC after I screwed up yesterday and answered her call. I don't think it set me back terribly and I'm more disappointed that I didn't have the will power to just let it ring.

I'm actually starting to develop strong feelings for a new plate and we have only talked on the phone and texted. The conversation is sooo effortless and this girl is cute as hell. I'm going out with her Saturday night.

 

[Reykhel]

Well today is day one of NC after I screwed up yesterday and answered her call. I don't think it set me back terribly and I'm more disappointed that I didn't have the will power to just let it ring.

I'm actually starting to develop strong feelings for a new plate and we have only talked on the phone and texted. The conversation is sooo effortless and this girl is cute as hell. I'm going out with her Saturday night.

Strong feelings for a new plate and you have only talked on the phone and texted???????????????????????????????????????????????????????????

Please tell me that you can see what your about to step into.....

This is pure projection. Your projecting your mixed up feelings on to this image that you've conjured up...........because she is only an image that you've concocted in your head, because you do not know her.......hell you haven't even seen her in person.....

Please enlighten me......how could you possibly have feelings for someone you haven't met yet?

...and what are "feelings"?????