goddamn. probably true. took her virginity.
"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."
Attraction runs on a clock.
She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.
The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."
One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.
Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.
The *No Contact* Challenge! ( Read this if you just got dumped)
- Thread starter Daydream Engineer
- Start date
"I just moved here from Florida."
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
that's the thing. she really doesnt strike me as that type. more of a serial monogamist. i had better game than any dude before me and i had to wait a while to ****
That I don't doubt at all. That I am fine with. I've been awake a long time, so the shock is not as necessary for me
Day4..
I am a new member here, I created this account for the sake of keeping my NC. I read lots of your replies and you guys seem to do great, keep it up!
Anyway, this is not the first time we break up, (I'm 25 she's 22), the first time was painful like you wouldn't believe, I think this time is easier because well, I'm getting to know her moves and childish games. she was expecting me to call her first but I didn't. yesterday she called me twice and I didn't answer. to be honest, I miss her a lot but I don't feel like talking to her. I don't want to hate her though
We have been together for a year now. last time we broke up for a weak for something she did, she then called me crying, saying that she's sorry and didn't actually do anything wrong and saying it was all just a simple misunderstanding. I believed her because I wanted to. that was 4 months ago.
Since then, we've been happy and things were more than great! I can't think of a better match for me. She is loving and nice, I just loved her more than any other girl I ever met! she loved me too and always said she would never leave me and begged me not to leave her.
Anyway, a week ago we had a simple fight, then said I should leave her alone and get out of her life. I mean, she's a girl right? girls talk like that even if they don't mean it. but this time she did! she meant it and I know that for a fact. I tried to fix things but couldn't.. she left me and never replied my messages! I think she planned the whole thing and started the fight just to break up with me because it's insignificantly ridiculous and we had much bigger fights before but didn't make us breakup! however, I never contacted her again.
I know I am just angry now and there will be days when I miss her a lot. but right now I don't feel like talking to her anyway, I hope she finds someone better and stop calling me.
sorry for the long story, It's been on my chest for a while and needed to let it out.
I am a new member here, I created this account for the sake of keeping my NC. I read lots of your replies and you guys seem to do great, keep it up!
Anyway, this is not the first time we break up, (I'm 25 she's 22), the first time was painful like you wouldn't believe, I think this time is easier because well, I'm getting to know her moves and childish games. she was expecting me to call her first but I didn't. yesterday she called me twice and I didn't answer. to be honest, I miss her a lot but I don't feel like talking to her. I don't want to hate her though
We have been together for a year now. last time we broke up for a weak for something she did, she then called me crying, saying that she's sorry and didn't actually do anything wrong and saying it was all just a simple misunderstanding. I believed her because I wanted to. that was 4 months ago.
Since then, we've been happy and things were more than great! I can't think of a better match for me. She is loving and nice, I just loved her more than any other girl I ever met! she loved me too and always said she would never leave me and begged me not to leave her.
Anyway, a week ago we had a simple fight, then said I should leave her alone and get out of her life. I mean, she's a girl right? girls talk like that even if they don't mean it. but this time she did! she meant it and I know that for a fact. I tried to fix things but couldn't.. she left me and never replied my messages! I think she planned the whole thing and started the fight just to break up with me because it's insignificantly ridiculous and we had much bigger fights before but didn't make us breakup! however, I never contacted her again.
I know I am just angry now and there will be days when I miss her a lot. but right now I don't feel like talking to her anyway, I hope she finds someone better and stop calling me.
sorry for the long story, It's been on my chest for a while and needed to let it out.
Shootin4Dreams
Banned
- Joined
- Aug 28, 2015
- Messages
- 295
- Reaction score
- 32
It has been exactly 3 weeks of real no contact. I broke down bawling last night crying why didnt she care it was very spooky for me. Think I am starting to get where I went to mentally going to see therpaist one more time and I have been hitting gym I now weigh 189 I am overweight my new goal is hopefully in the 160s. Wish me the best.
"You Can't Argue a Woman Into Liking You"
You made your case like a lawyer. Stable job. Good guy. Ready for something real. All true. All irrelevant.
She weighed your points, nodded along, felt nothing — then fell hard for some tattooed bartender with a motorcycle and a gambling problem.
Logic is where attraction goes to die. The "22 Rules" work a level deeper, on the subconscious switches that decide within minutes whether you register as a MAN or as part of the furniture.
Stop presenting evidence. Start flipping switches.
Day 13.
She ended the flair a few months ago but I was still hung up because it was not a clean ending (very open-ended). So for three months I tried to repair things, but probably alienated her more by doing so. Chemistry started off great but worn off shortly after and I questioned myself why everyday. She never told me the exact reason, but I think I found my answer here; as one of the poster precisely pointed out - obsession is never attractive. At this point I just know initiating contact is not an option.
My situation is a little different and I'm sure a lot of people will chew me out on this. Finding new plate is not an option (trust me). This fling basically fell onto my lap, I was weak and couldn't say no. Feelings ran deeper than it should and things got complicated. In the end I was the only casualty. Going through withdrawal while maintaining sanity at home is a real emotional torment. I was able to identify a lot of the root causes from this thread and I just want to thank everyone who contributed. Every time I get the itch I will just read this to reinvigorate my promise.
She ended the flair a few months ago but I was still hung up because it was not a clean ending (very open-ended). So for three months I tried to repair things, but probably alienated her more by doing so. Chemistry started off great but worn off shortly after and I questioned myself why everyday. She never told me the exact reason, but I think I found my answer here; as one of the poster precisely pointed out - obsession is never attractive. At this point I just know initiating contact is not an option.
My situation is a little different and I'm sure a lot of people will chew me out on this. Finding new plate is not an option (trust me). This fling basically fell onto my lap, I was weak and couldn't say no. Feelings ran deeper than it should and things got complicated. In the end I was the only casualty. Going through withdrawal while maintaining sanity at home is a real emotional torment. I was able to identify a lot of the root causes from this thread and I just want to thank everyone who contributed. Every time I get the itch I will just read this to reinvigorate my promise.
BorisMoris
Don Juan
- Joined
- Oct 28, 2015
- Messages
- 37
- Reaction score
- 7
I'm back. Day 2.
I wrote a long post saying that NC was causing me hassle.
Long story short she started cosying up to me sending pics of her p!ssy etc, we got flirting and she arranged to see me Fri and Sat. (unknown to me at the time her **** buddy had called her a slut and ignored her for 2 weeks)
As im about to meet her Friday she tells me he suddenly called her for the first time in 2 weeks, she still comes over and I give her good licking, but she goes to uni in morning, then suddenly cancels the saturday - doesnt take a genius to work out why she cancelled.
Anyway, now doing nc properly, deleted het number,blocked for calls and texts, deleted everything to do with her.
Lesson learned: Once they turn renegade, they will always be like that.
Attention seeking ***** !!!!!!
I wrote a long post saying that NC was causing me hassle.
Long story short she started cosying up to me sending pics of her p!ssy etc, we got flirting and she arranged to see me Fri and Sat. (unknown to me at the time her **** buddy had called her a slut and ignored her for 2 weeks)
As im about to meet her Friday she tells me he suddenly called her for the first time in 2 weeks, she still comes over and I give her good licking, but she goes to uni in morning, then suddenly cancels the saturday - doesnt take a genius to work out why she cancelled.
Anyway, now doing nc properly, deleted het number,blocked for calls and texts, deleted everything to do with her.
Lesson learned: Once they turn renegade, they will always be like that.
Attention seeking ***** !!!!!!
hey there
its been 2 weeks since i've started nc.its all going well with me but just one question pops up in my head every single time i.e how to make the conversation going after nc.for eg.my 1st text after nc would be "hey do remember we went to (abc) place?can you tell me which way is it?i'm planning to take my friend there but am confused about which way is it!!" and her reply probably would be "bla bla bla" is the way bjt what do i do after that?how do i keep the conv.going?
its been 2 weeks since i've started nc.its all going well with me but just one question pops up in my head every single time i.e how to make the conversation going after nc.for eg.my 1st text after nc would be "hey do remember we went to (abc) place?can you tell me which way is it?i'm planning to take my friend there but am confused about which way is it!!" and her reply probably would be "bla bla bla" is the way bjt what do i do after that?how do i keep the conv.going?
dustmuffin
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Jul 21, 2015
- Messages
- 2,495
- Reaction score
- 1,423
- Age
- 63
Don't contact her ever...
Let her contact you
Day 16
The memories of her are becoming hazy over days, but for reason unknown they were exceptionally profound today. Tried to shut it out as best as I can but these god dam memories scream loudly in the background. Feels pretty awful.
She is a relationship veteran so these NC rules are simply childplays for her. Although I have not formally announced NC I'm sure she expected this card to be played at some point. There was no bad blood that ended us, but I have no desire to reinitiate contact, because nothing constructive will come out of it. On the other hand even if she contact me, it won't translate to anything either. Perhaps it is this helpless realization that nothing can be done to restore the harmony and intimacy we once shared has led to today's depression.
All my friends say time with heal, and I will find peace. I wish that day comes sooner.
The memories of her are becoming hazy over days, but for reason unknown they were exceptionally profound today. Tried to shut it out as best as I can but these god dam memories scream loudly in the background. Feels pretty awful.
She is a relationship veteran so these NC rules are simply childplays for her. Although I have not formally announced NC I'm sure she expected this card to be played at some point. There was no bad blood that ended us, but I have no desire to reinitiate contact, because nothing constructive will come out of it. On the other hand even if she contact me, it won't translate to anything either. Perhaps it is this helpless realization that nothing can be done to restore the harmony and intimacy we once shared has led to today's depression.
All my friends say time with heal, and I will find peace. I wish that day comes sooner.
"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
what if she doesnt contact me?now dont tell me that if she misses you she will contact you and of she doesnt its time to move on.most of the posts in google say that "they surely miss you during nc but they might not msg you at first as they have to seem consistent with their decision,it doesnt matter who initiates contact at first".and it has been said by many relationship experts.
PrettyBoyAJ
Master Don Juan
Fvck a no contact. Block the bvtch completely. Rid her out of your life for good!
Day 4
I did start my NC even before finding this place and reading what experiences guys had ...i must say i recognize myself a lots among the stories i read, a bit combined though...so here it is, my story...what i actually did was something i would never go for and would be horribly judgemental on guys who are doing it. I was dating a girl who i met as prostitute, and our first night we spent as client and hooker, as we met in night club. We had awesome crazy night and the next day we were like kind of "dating". Well, don't get me wrong i was really sexualy attracted to her and i found justification to do that only to get laid a lot but not being forced to pay. Day after day after day and we became a couple. And i seem to forget what she is in fact, a low moral person who cares of nothing but herself. I even doubted she's was keepling some clientele on FB and chatted with them over FB MSG but I never allowed to go more then just a doubts. She never added a single picture of me on her fb profile neither have mentioned me for about 2 years we've been together. I was not bothered with it as much i am now when i think of everything. I am 38 years and this is my 4th long relationship and I manage to be unwise and allowed all of this to happen. So after almost 2 years I got the new job in other country so i left ahead first by muself with plan to bring her over. Its been a year and she's been nothing more then playing me allalong, until she finally dumped me! But she did it only after i announced to her the wedding date which was 1 month ahead. (we had to be married for her visa) Of course no explanation one day she started being not interested and started to ignore me etc classic. And i was going mad, really mad and now after 4 days no contact i still go nuts every once in a while during the day....reading the posts here did made me calm though. Write later must catch train home aaa...
I did start my NC even before finding this place and reading what experiences guys had ...i must say i recognize myself a lots among the stories i read, a bit combined though...so here it is, my story...what i actually did was something i would never go for and would be horribly judgemental on guys who are doing it. I was dating a girl who i met as prostitute, and our first night we spent as client and hooker, as we met in night club. We had awesome crazy night and the next day we were like kind of "dating". Well, don't get me wrong i was really sexualy attracted to her and i found justification to do that only to get laid a lot but not being forced to pay. Day after day after day and we became a couple. And i seem to forget what she is in fact, a low moral person who cares of nothing but herself. I even doubted she's was keepling some clientele on FB and chatted with them over FB MSG but I never allowed to go more then just a doubts. She never added a single picture of me on her fb profile neither have mentioned me for about 2 years we've been together. I was not bothered with it as much i am now when i think of everything. I am 38 years and this is my 4th long relationship and I manage to be unwise and allowed all of this to happen. So after almost 2 years I got the new job in other country so i left ahead first by muself with plan to bring her over. Its been a year and she's been nothing more then playing me allalong, until she finally dumped me! But she did it only after i announced to her the wedding date which was 1 month ahead. (we had to be married for her visa) Of course no explanation one day she started being not interested and started to ignore me etc classic. And i was going mad, really mad and now after 4 days no contact i still go nuts every once in a while during the day....reading the posts here did made me calm though. Write later must catch train home aaa...
Day 19. Reset.
Threw me a breadcrumb a few days ago. I was wise enough to ignore it, but knew I had to reply eventually. Matter of fact it felt great throughout those 3 days when I shat on the crumb, knowing she reached out yet I did not entertain.
That all goes by the wayside now. Shot a quick reply saying I'm good and been busy, and the only reaction it drew was a simple acknowledgement. No effort in continuing the conversation nor salvaging the situation. Yup, feels pretty dumb now.
I have read so many posts mentioning breadcrumbs are mainly for ego boosting and such, but honest to god I have never believed in it. Most people in my social circle are fairly normal, and they don't need such ploy to build on their confidence. On top of it all I really did not think she is the type of people that practices these jedi mind tricks; at least not based on the image she portrayed in front of me.
Lesson learned.
Day 1.
Threw me a breadcrumb a few days ago. I was wise enough to ignore it, but knew I had to reply eventually. Matter of fact it felt great throughout those 3 days when I shat on the crumb, knowing she reached out yet I did not entertain.
That all goes by the wayside now. Shot a quick reply saying I'm good and been busy, and the only reaction it drew was a simple acknowledgement. No effort in continuing the conversation nor salvaging the situation. Yup, feels pretty dumb now.
I have read so many posts mentioning breadcrumbs are mainly for ego boosting and such, but honest to god I have never believed in it. Most people in my social circle are fairly normal, and they don't need such ploy to build on their confidence. On top of it all I really did not think she is the type of people that practices these jedi mind tricks; at least not based on the image she portrayed in front of me.
Lesson learned.
Day 1.
Day 3.
I stumbled across this site a couple of days after she blindsided me with the "I'm not ready for a relationship" line. We had been together for 3 months and everything seemed great. Met through a work friend after she noticed me making the rounds at the office. I guess that's the frustrating thing about all of this...SHE was the one that initiated things. Once we started talking, I knew I was hooked.
It's crazy because we never had one fight or argument. The relationship was respectful, fun, and invigorating. I think that's why I'm so torn up about it. It would've been so much easier if there had been a concrete reason to call things off. Now it's over. Out of the blue. She told me it was due to her not fully healing from her failed marriage but she left him 2 and a half years ago. How long does it take to heal from something like that? And why would she chase me to start with if she wasn't ready?
I can't get my mind off of her. We sent a few messages back and forth during the week (she cut the cord on Tuesday) and then she went to hang out with relatives and said she'd "think things over" and reply when she got back which was yesterday. I tried to explain to her how these connections don't come up often and to not be scared of something great. As of today, it's been 3 days since she sent that last reply and I haven't said anything since. I'm beginning to think she may not reply at all. If so, I guess I'll just have to take that as my answer and move on. It's really painful when you find someone that you really feel something for and that you're genuinely excited about only to have it blow up just as fast as it began...
I stumbled across this site a couple of days after she blindsided me with the "I'm not ready for a relationship" line. We had been together for 3 months and everything seemed great. Met through a work friend after she noticed me making the rounds at the office. I guess that's the frustrating thing about all of this...SHE was the one that initiated things. Once we started talking, I knew I was hooked.
It's crazy because we never had one fight or argument. The relationship was respectful, fun, and invigorating. I think that's why I'm so torn up about it. It would've been so much easier if there had been a concrete reason to call things off. Now it's over. Out of the blue. She told me it was due to her not fully healing from her failed marriage but she left him 2 and a half years ago. How long does it take to heal from something like that? And why would she chase me to start with if she wasn't ready?
I can't get my mind off of her. We sent a few messages back and forth during the week (she cut the cord on Tuesday) and then she went to hang out with relatives and said she'd "think things over" and reply when she got back which was yesterday. I tried to explain to her how these connections don't come up often and to not be scared of something great. As of today, it's been 3 days since she sent that last reply and I haven't said anything since. I'm beginning to think she may not reply at all. If so, I guess I'll just have to take that as my answer and move on. It's really painful when you find someone that you really feel something for and that you're genuinely excited about only to have it blow up just as fast as it began...
"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"
Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.
She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.
Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.
So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.
The words come later. The impression comes first.
Wisconsin144
Don Juan
- Joined
- May 24, 2015
- Messages
- 126
- Reaction score
- 9
You don't, no contact means no contact, trust me, I was in your situation months ago, lost the girl who I thought was the girl of my dreams, now almost seven months later, I'm in a three month long relationship with a girl I am proud to say I love, and truly loves me back. Stay away from your ex, if she comes back on her own so be it, otherwise, better yourself. And give zero ****s about her.
DAY 7 - Yesterday was day 6 and she texted me, i texted back and there we were in communication. I mean, the NC was broken and we had finally a decent conversation after more then a month. Its crazy, I know she's not good for me and most probably the life filled with misery is waiting but still i am going with my head through the wall. This i dont understand, how to beat down your heart and tell him to back off? Week in Thailand? Pataya could heal the wound...hmm...one thing is for sure, after those 6 days of NC i did recover a bit, so right now I am not expecting anything and start planning holidays in Pataya.
CuddleJunkie
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Nov 9, 2015
- Messages
- 769
- Reaction score
- 565
- Age
- 33
Day 1
I don't really want to contact her because I'm angry as hell and happy to lose her of my life, but I know that in a couple of weeks I'll want to talk things with her. So I hope to add an element of social shame with this, so I stay strong easier.
I don't really want to contact her because I'm angry as hell and happy to lose her of my life, but I know that in a couple of weeks I'll want to talk things with her. So I hope to add an element of social shame with this, so I stay strong easier.
DAY 8 - NC was not broken but interuppted for a while and then continued...still thinking of that stupid b...h, she was the one to initiate contact asking how I am...why? Does it mean she still has some emotions left or it is normal like this. Means probably she will not be contacting me anymore and who gives a ****. I figured, its hard to get through this but i will go through. Tomorrow is a new day...
troubled funk
New Member
- Joined
- Dec 1, 2015
- Messages
- 2
- Reaction score
- 1
- Age
- 55
New here and thank .... i found this site! It really does help reading these posts.
Anyway i'm 4 day's in NC and today it's killing me.
No LTR but 6 weeks of dating a girl i've always been crazy about.SHE initiated the whole thing,you'd think you'd won the lottery right?beautiful woman you crazy about asks YOU out....then 6 weeks of mixed messages,lotta hanging out,txting but ZERO contact..nothing.Not a hug,holding hand's,not so much as a flirting touch...i tried twice and she flipped that i'm pressuring her.What other conclusions can you drawn apart from she just aint that into you huh? F... it,thats my conclusion anyway so no way to another 6 weeks of feeling about as wanted as the f.....g elephant man
Call me a wuss but i didnt even try for sex,it really was easy does it and any attempt was met with a flip out!
She instigated a lot of date's,even cooked nice meals and quiet night's in,always said she was into me....but the action's spoke volume's and i had to walk.
Just got the wobbles now that maybe i was too hasty...i can be kinda rash at times to my detriment.
My 3 best female mates agreed 2 to 1 that she's not THAT interested.
F.. it,deleted her number so no choice but NC for me!!Excuse the cussin but it's tough doing NC
Cheers for your time people.
Anyway i'm 4 day's in NC and today it's killing me.
No LTR but 6 weeks of dating a girl i've always been crazy about.SHE initiated the whole thing,you'd think you'd won the lottery right?beautiful woman you crazy about asks YOU out....then 6 weeks of mixed messages,lotta hanging out,txting but ZERO contact..nothing.Not a hug,holding hand's,not so much as a flirting touch...i tried twice and she flipped that i'm pressuring her.What other conclusions can you drawn apart from she just aint that into you huh? F... it,thats my conclusion anyway so no way to another 6 weeks of feeling about as wanted as the f.....g elephant man
Call me a wuss but i didnt even try for sex,it really was easy does it and any attempt was met with a flip out!
She instigated a lot of date's,even cooked nice meals and quiet night's in,always said she was into me....but the action's spoke volume's and i had to walk.
Just got the wobbles now that maybe i was too hasty...i can be kinda rash at times to my detriment.
My 3 best female mates agreed 2 to 1 that she's not THAT interested.
F.. it,deleted her number so no choice but NC for me!!Excuse the cussin but it's tough doing NC
Cheers for your time people.
"She's Out of Your League"
You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.
Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.
She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.
Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.