The *No Contact* Challenge! ( Read this if you just got dumped)

[Twist of Cain]

nicely done, murphy

 

[MillionBillionaire]

Your allowed to post in here as many times as you want because it makes you feel just a little better right?

Well I have been in a cycle of getting excited for someone new.. having that flop... missing my oneitis.. get excited fir a new chick.. have that flop... miss my oneitis again..

I drink and watch too much porn on lows and am healthy and clean in the highs....

I just needed to vent. I'm on my 7th day in a row drinking... it has been like 90 days since last seen or heard from my oneitis.

 

[Jmurphy55]

Your allowed to post in here as many times as you want because it makes you feel just a little better right?

Well I have been in a cycle of getting excited for someone new.. having that flop... missing my oneitis.. get excited fir a new chick.. have that flop... miss my oneitis again..

I drink and watch too much porn on lows and am healthy and clean in the highs....

I just needed to vent. I'm on my 7th day in a row drinking... it has been like 90 days since last seen or heard from my oneitis.

One thing that I will say is I don't really thing alcohol helps.

I have a tendency to drink too much as well, especially when going through breakups, and I find that it seems to make whatever problems I have seem worse, especially the morning after.

I know it's tempting to drink as it temporarily improves your mood but if you're dealing with an unstable state of mind as you (and I) currently are, I think adding to that with inhibition lowering substances, alcohol or anything else, is not going to help. Better Togo to the gym to take your mind off it than drink

 

[zoom5]

Alcohol is not the answer...maybe a couple of drink to get the mood going ...everything beyond that makes you just depressed.
And also you are totaly in a bad mood the other day.
I always left the partie when i had nough because i was too deressed..usually i didnt even remember how i got home or why...
My frineds just told me I left.

So on my 3rd day of nc chalange, im doing fine... Dont think a lot about her, it doesnt kill my mood... But the weekend is coming and ill be home totaly alone and probably die of boredom and think about her -.-

 

[Building_and_Loan]

Yeah porn and alcohol are going to make you feel much worse. It may be tempting but going that route will lower your self esteem and value a hell of a lot.

In order to get rid of that ugly, empty feeling in my stomach I would watch YouTube videos/documentaries until it basically shut my mind off. Luckily the college football bowl season was going on too, so I could just lay on the couch watching football all day and then just go to bed.

 

[DJJD]

almost a month no contact.

I still think about her everyday..its starting to turn to anger....which upsets me because I am normally not an angry person. The worst part right now are the nightmarish dreams I have of her...brutal. Im ****ing depressed when I wake up....but am better than I was in the beginning.

Self help **** really helps me...and I listen to it pretty much all day. Its ****ed up how someone I barely knew can do this to me...whatever. She's gone..and I guess for the better.

Just to let everyone in this thread know....I feel you. I'm right there with you.

Thanks

DJJD

 

[Jmurphy55]

I find listening to upbeat music quite helpful, like clubbing traxks that are about partying and meeting girls.
That and remembering the fact that in my relationship I was clearly the more attractive, I'm training to be a lawyer and she works in a bar. Remember who has the more options, the better prospects, it puts it all into context.
Sure it's always gonna be hard because that won't kill the emotional side of things easily but the knowledge that she lost the chance to be with someone who's soon gonna be on a 6 figure income helps

 

[JohnyTheArrow]

You can't beat that guy ....

Had killer Alps pilot just been dumped? Claims depressed Lubitz was in 'love split' before he deliberately crashed plane - as it's revealed he was receiving psychiatric treatment until DAY before

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/art...pped-safety-net-devastating-consequences.html

 

[Lozboss]

Hey Guys,

Just wanted to say a quick hello from the UK, Joined this Forum because it's helped alot reading this and other posts post breakup. It's also a great set of people who seem to support each other.

I've just started the NC challenge.

Broke up in December 2014.

Recently re-engaged contact since Feb- argued and then made up. Been chatting and hoping to repair things- lots of mixed signals. Saw her Saturday with mutual friends. Ashamed to say in the evening when I got in I broke down.

On Monday we had a chat and after some prodding from me she told me 'at the moment I only find you attractive as a friend, when you're happy and confident in yourself it's attractive'. I said thank you for being honest and didn't message anything back.

I'm fed up of being sad over someone else and having them control my feelings. Fed up of Losing the power to her and feeling Beta for chasing her.

So on Monday afternoon following that bazooka line I deleted her Number, blocked her on FB. The only way we can communicate is if she contacts me. I haven't seen our mutual 'friends' and kept radio silence with them too.

I'm on day 4 of NC, she tried to whatsapp me yesterday and I read it (she will have seen I read it) and then deleted it- no reply- Holding strong

The hardest is when I go to bed and get up in the morning.

I'd appreciate anybody actives support. Also happy to help others and willing to share my skype or mobile for whatsapp via PM. Let's do this together!

Loz

 

[Lozboss]

almost a month no contact.

I still think about her everyday..its starting to turn to anger....which upsets me because I am normally not an angry person. The worst part right now are the nightmarish dreams I have of her...brutal. Im ****ing depressed when I wake up....but am better than I was in the beginning.

Self help **** really helps me...and I listen to it pretty much all day. Its ****ed up how someone I barely knew can do this to me...whatever. She's gone..and I guess for the better.

Just to let everyone in this thread know....I feel you. I'm right there with you.

Thanks

DJJD

Dude don't let it turn you into someone your are not.

The Anger is because you haven't moved on- sorry to say it but we need to be honest.

Watch this- forget it's Arnie https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vH0nP4NzS9M

It's great to put you in the right mind.

PM me your mobile if you have whatsapp and I'll send you mine- here for you bro.

 

[Yorkex]

Keep it this way , you he stated you want her and she decline. Chances are she will try to get info from your close friends , don't spill your secrets to them. If they ask just say you saw no point staying friends because you wanted more then switch topic. Don't reveal your weak moments to any of them and definitely DONT chase her anymore ; stay silent.
When she sees that she is really about to lose you for good she will try to play her last card ; and this is a crucial step if you want her back.
She will try to make it seem she has strong interest in you again , DONT and I repeat DONT make it easy for her and just take her back. Make her work for your time , and in turn you will see if her interest is real or fake. If it is fake , she will stop at soon as she senses you are still deeply in love with her.

Take this time to learn about your self and he'll go out for some drinks with girls if you can; just don't get pissed drunk.

 

[Lozboss]

Keep it this way , you he stated you want her and she decline. Chances are she will try to get info from your close friends , don't spill your secrets to them. If they ask just say you saw no point staying friends because you wanted more then switch topic. Don't reveal your weak moments to any of them and definitely DONT chase her anymore ; stay silent.
When she sees that she is really about to lose you for good she will try to play her last card ; and this is a crucial step if you want her back.
She will try to make it seem she has strong interest in you again , DONT and I repeat DONT make it easy for her and just take her back. Make her work for your time , and in turn you will see if her interest is real or fake. If it is fake , she will stop at soon as she senses you are still deeply in love with her.

Take this time to learn about your self and he'll go out for some drinks with girls if you can; just don't get pissed drunk.

Thanks for Listening and for the support Yorkex.

I'd like her back but I'm determined that I won't make this easy for her. I showed my cards and she wanted Friends- I'm not going to be her friend and emotional crutch if I'm not her boyfriend.

 

[Jmurphy55]

Ugh this really is ****.

I still can't believe how out of the blue it came, I never saw this coming 2 weeks ago and now look where I am.

I will be fine and I'm getting through this better than I anticipated but I really will have trust issues after this. The girl I was with was not as good looking as me, had worse prospects than me and was absolutely head over the hills in love with me to the point where she put down a large deposit on a holiday, paid a hotel fee outright for us (neither of which have happened and obviously now won't be,) I just think if she can do this to me, after over 2 years, what's the point? Who isn't going to do this because every girl I've been with its ended the same way.

 

[zoom5]

day 4.

So I want to tell you about this girl I went out with 2days ago.
She is my high school crush. I was a stalker and a creep back then so she reject me...I did all the bullsh*t all guys do... (texted her a 1000 a times and such.)
That was 3 years ago.
Now she went to this university that's in the same town as mine..We texted a bit a year ago about what's new...I asked her out, she said she has a boyfriend and that she loves him..
Now What happened is that 3 days ago she texted me by herself "are there any good clubs around here..." We texted a bit...also came to the point when she could have come to our place...but no one of my roomates was in the mood for drinking and we didn't have alcohol...
The next day I sent her a text "coffee?" and she said yes.
We went out, had a good time. I'm not sure if she has a bf now or not.
The thing worth mentioning is that she commented guys...Like how she doesn't want a guy to smoke and such.... Is that a message or something?
When i dropped her home she just sent me a text that she's going to get some sleep and then go to school and "see ya". I replied with okay hf etc... then 8 hours later I texted her "how's in school" and then today i sent her just a happy smiley.
She didn't respond.
I ****ed that up ... I know I shouldn't do that...
What are my chances ...what should I do?

 

[rsox28]

Ugh this really is ****.

I still can't believe how out of the blue it came, I never saw this coming 2 weeks ago and now look where I am.

I will be fine and I'm getting through this better than I anticipated but I really will have trust issues after this. The girl I was with was not as good looking as me, had worse prospects than me and was absolutely head over the hills in love with me to the point where she put down a large deposit on a holiday, paid a hotel fee outright for us (neither of which have happened and obviously now won't be,) I just think if she can do this to me, after over 2 years, what's the point? Who isn't going to do this because every girl I've been with its ended the same way.

Know what you mean, been there (very recently, in fact). Ex wasn't as attractive, had hinted that she hadn't been exactly drawing a lot of interest from others, seemed really into me...then she lowers the boom out of nowhere, after having initiated plans for our next date. Hate when they flake out like that.

 

[way2smart]

You can't beat that guy ....

Had killer Alps pilot just been dumped? Claims depressed Lubitz was in 'love split' before he deliberately crashed plane - as it's revealed he was receiving psychiatric treatment until DAY before

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/art...pped-safety-net-devastating-consequences.html

The takeaway from this is this: Being AFC is not only harmful to yourself, it's harmful to others as well.

Seriously, this guy should get the AFC of the year/decade award.

 

[Lozboss]

Jmurphy55- It's crap mate- but you need to finally move on, you clearly haven't. You also need to let these experiences educate you (notice I didn't say 'change'). Trust yourself that sooner or later you will find the right person that gives as much back as you give them (in all ways). Your Ex girlfriends aren't clearly like that.

Try dating people who are completely different from your normal type- it's refreshing and gives your perspective.

rsox - Yes buddy- but that tells you she's seeking your affection because she hasn't moved on or has tried to and failed. Leave her and find somebody worth your time. This was a tough mistake but a good mistake to learn from.

Zoom5 -Just go cold turkey a few days. You need to get power back. You like her so you chase her (this is fair enough) - but WRONG. Just cool your jets and let her come back to you. If she knows you're chasing her it will push her away. Give her some space and if she likes you then she will come to you.

Dating women is like getting back with an Ex - you just need to show interest but only the slightest bit, then let them come to you. It's like being a hunter and setting the trap- if you try and force them into it- they will just run.

 

[zoom5]

@lozboss

That is my intention, how long should I wait? Maybe I scared her off and she might not call this time...
But if I look it at a different perspective, I know her for 5year and she still hasn't ****ed me off even when I did all sorty of things needy guys do back then, this means
she likes me or something right?

 

[Suspens]

I just think if she can do this to me, after over 2 years, what's the point? Who isn't going to do this because every girl I've been with its ended the same way.

Watch for red flags next time and also work on your game. Live and learn.

 

[Lozboss]

@lozboss

That is my intention, how long should I wait? Maybe I scared her off and she might not call this time...
But if I look it at a different perspective, I know her for 5year and she still hasn't ****ed me off even when I did all sorty of things needy guys do back then, this means
she likes me or something right?

She does but don't let that lull you into a false sense of security.

Golden rule is that you treat everyone, even girls you like, like you can take it or leave it. You treat them special or put them on a pedestal they will resent you for it and pull away.

I'd give it a few days and let her contact you. The next step has to be hers (that way you can truly tell if she is still interested).
If she doesn't get in touch then I'm sorry she's not interested in being more than friends.


Day 5 NC for me

Haven't heard back from Ex since the whatsapp yesterday. Holding strong. If she's interested she'll chase me. I'm giving her nothing.