The *No Contact* Challenge! ( Read this if you just got dumped)

[[email protected]]

So, I saw her this morning. It wasn't intentional, and it was from a distance. I didn't make eye contact or anything else, but it still ****ed me up for some reason. Oh well. Gonna be one of those days, I guess. I'm going to have to learn to deal with seeing her once in a while. We work in the same building..

 

[beatscostmoney]

going on 2 weeks now

Broke up with this hot 21 year old filipina after a 1 year LTR. I'm 33 and she definitely was the hottest female I've ever laid hands on. Problem is even knowing all this game stuff, I still fell into a lot of man traps. Over providing, jealousy, insecurity etc. Do you know how hard it is to keep constant frame with a 21 year old HB10 who gets more male attention in a day then most women see in a year? Guess I like a challenge.

She basically moved in with me within a month of us dating, and then we proceeded to get our own place together 6 months in. Big ****ing mistake. Never move in with a girl who is not going to become your wife. It makes things overly difficult and makes it near impossible to keep her interest level high.

Anyway, after a slew of arguments and bull****, she moved out. Her interest level had been going down for some time and I just got frustrated with her being the one who cares less. We broke up. I handled the break up itself pretty well. No begging or professing my love or anything gay like that. Went NC for a week after she moved and then I slipped up with a text. Tried to play the friendly I really don't give a **** role. She played into it of course, then I folded. Letting her know I missed her and what not. Could have been a lot worse but it definitely ruined my progress.

Currently 12 days NC. I've been exercising, focusing at work, reading, making beats. Keeping myself occupied and accomplishing goals. I'm really not too butt hurt about the break up. They are a pain in the ass at that age. I have opportunities to hook up with some other gals but I'm going to wait it out. I feel like hooking up with a less attractive girl would just make things worse and bring back the oneitus. I figure if I got one that hot, I can find another just as beautiful. Although they are more rare it CAN BE DONE. Focusing on getting back in shape and making something of myself for a couple months. This spring I'm going to start approaching every 10 I can find in Chicago.

 

[DonnyJuanny]

Day 2

Broke up yesterday and she left to go back home. It is what is. **** her. Time to get this **** done fellas.

 

[[email protected]]

2 weeks of NC. Today she texted a buddy of mine at work to ask how I was doing. I was pretty proud of him for how he handled it. He said "I don't know. He's been busy and we haven't talked much, and when we do you haven't come up." She said, "Oh ok. Well I hope he's doing good." Haha. Taking the power back fellas

 

[way2smart]

That's how you do it. Good job. Eventually you'll lose track of the days and realize that almost an entire year has flown by and you haven't dropped in on her page once. Take pride in not being like lord knows how many other dudes who do otherwise.

I still haven't looked. Doing great, I am even forgetting about it.

 

[DonnyJuanny]

Day 3

Feel great today. Somehow. I got the closure that I was desperate for and upon realizing this I know that she holds no power over me. This chapter is closed. My book still has many unwritten pages. Who knows? Maybe she will make an appearance later. Maybe not. Can't predict that. All I can do is go and write this page today. Still. **** her for what she has done to me but the closure is where she went wrong. She gave me that and it let me off the hook. I know needing closure is ridiculous but it's what I wanted and I got it. Time to go do me. I know there will be bad days ahead but good lord do I feel great today. Best day I've had in months. The bad part of me wants to text her how ****ing great a day that I've had but absolutely not. Oh also today would have been one year. Fuuuuuuuuuuuccccccccckkkkkkkkk you. She had me and chose to not have me anymore. You choose that and you're dead to me. I owe her nothing and she owes me nothing. She will never hear from me again. Never again.

 

[DonnyJuanny]

Day 4

Doing surprisingly well. Was sad this morning upon waking but I made it through it. I did. No one else. Me. Because this is my life. It doesn't seem to hurt as much as I remembered. I got my closure and I'm thankful she isn't like many exes that have withheld closure from me to this very day. We had a great time together but it's over for now. Maybe in the future. Who knows? I can't worry about the future. All I can worry about is right now and right now she doesn't want me. So, I'll go off and live my awesome life while she does the same. I'll improve everyday. I've already lost 55 lbs since the breakup so that's improvement. Keep it going, fellas.

 

[DonnyJuanny]

Day 5

Today has gone well. I have thought about her certainly but I tell myself "**** her. get out of my head" when I catch myself thinking of her. She's a liar and I don't deal with being lied to. If I find out then you're dead to me. She knew that and did it anyway so **** it. Actions speak louder than words. I thought she was one of best people I knew but it turns out she wasn't. Maybe I'm most angry that I got fooled?

Overall, I know that I'll be just great without her. My life has many many good things happening in it. She made the choice to not be a part of them. Is that going to stop me from achieving goals that I have set out for myself. Not in the ****ing least. See ya later.

I was thinking about something earlier. NC is hard and it takes a strong person to do it. You, me, we are doing it. We are strong people. Every single day you make it is a tinnnnnnny bit easier. Does day 8 suck? Sure it does. Does it suck even a tiny bit less than day 7? Of course it does. You know what though? Day 7 or 8 or, hell even day 74 sucks sooooooo much less than the day 1 you will be on if you break NC.

 

[[email protected]]

Today has gone well. I have thought about her certainly but I tell myself "**** her. get out of my head" when I catch myself thinking of her. She's a liar and I don't deal with being lied to. If I find out then you're dead to me. She knew that and did it anyway so **** it. Actions speak louder than words. I thought she was one of best people I knew but it turns out she wasn't. Maybe I'm most angry that I got fooled?

Overall, I know that I'll be just great without her. My life has many many good things happening in it. She made the choice to not be a part of them. Is that going to stop me from achieving goals that I have set out for myself. Not in the ****ing least. See ya later.

I was thinking about something earlier. NC is hard and it takes a strong person to do it. You, me, we are doing it. We are strong people. Every single day you make it is a tinnnnnnny bit easier. Does day 8 suck? Sure it does. Does it suck even a tiny bit less than day 7? Of course it does. You know what though? Day 7 or 8 or, hell even day 74 sucks sooooooo much less than the day 1 you will be on if you break NC.

I can personally attest to that last part. I've failed at NC more than once, and the day that you break it is always, without question, even worse than the fresh break up. I'm a slow learner I guess, but I'm making it now. Eventually we all have to realize that as bad as letting go hurts, hanging on is SO much worse. I read a million pieces about no contact on the Internet, as I'm sure most of the guys on this thread have. One of them really stood out to me. It said "60 days or a lifetime?" And I think that is so true. You can let go and put yourself through it now, or keep wasting your life in a painful cycle. Hard to live by sometimes, but it makes perfect sense.

 

[DonnyJuanny]

I can personally attest to that last part. I've failed at NC more than once, and the day that you break it is always, without question, even worse than the fresh break up. I'm a slow learner I guess, but I'm making it now. Eventually we all have to realize that as bad as letting go hurts, hanging on is SO much worse. I read a million pieces about no contact on the Internet, as I'm sure most of the guys on this thread have. One of them really stood out to me. It said "60 days or a lifetime?" And I think that is so true. You can let go and put yourself through it now, or keep wasting your life in a painful cycle. Hard to live by sometimes, but it makes perfect sense.

Exactly. Suck it up and concentrate on yourself. This is your life. You tried to involve the ex in your life and they CHOSE not to be in it. That's their choice and they have to live with it. Just like you do. But why sit there and wallow in despair? Just like they had the choice to be with you or not, you have the choice to make today ****ing great or not. You choose whether to be sad or not. Listen to uplifting music, dance around, do something besides sitting there in despair.
If, God forbid, you still want your ex back the only way to do it is for you to become 10, 100, 1000 times the person they left. Go do it.

 

[[email protected]]

Exactly. Suck it up and concentrate on yourself. This is your life. You tried to involve the ex in your life and they CHOSE not to be in it. That's their choice and they have to live with it. Just like you do. But why sit there and wallow in despair? Just like they had the choice to be with you or not, you have the choice to make today ****ing great or not. You choose whether to be sad or not. Listen to uplifting music, dance around, do something besides sitting there in despair.
If, God forbid, you still want your ex back the only way to do it is for you to become 10, 100, 1000 times the person they left. Go do it.

Amen to that, brother. Great outlook.

 

[JohnyTheArrow]

Never take ex.Take revenge on her by not giving **** about her and living great life.Each ex want you to live in pain and miss her forever, when they realize you stop giving **** about them it always hit them even that they dont want you anymore.

Improve to piss them even more.Nothing pisses off more than the fact person we walked over got up and got better.Ex wants you to be little pathethic miserable loser to feel good about themselves.It will hurt them a lot to see they actually helped you to being stronger.,better and more happy because you didnt broke to pieces.

It will hurt them that person once who begged and cried for them doesnt need them anymore.

 

[DonnyJuanny]

Day 6

Busy day today, guys. However, I have been rewatching House of Cards recently. There is a character on there that used to be an alcoholic and he says the following about his sobriety.

"But the most important count I do has nothing to do with work. It's the number of days since April 4, 1999. As of this morning, that's 5,185. The bigger that number gets, the more it frightens me, because I know all it takes is one drink to go back to zero. Most people see fear as a weakness. It can be. Sometimes for my job, I have to put fear in other people. I know that's not right. But if I'm honest, like the fourth step asks us to be, I have to be ruthless, because failure is not an option. The same goes for my sobriety. I have to be ruthless with myself. I have to use my fear. It makes me stronger. Like everyone in this room, I can't control who I am. But I can control the zero. **** the zero."

Apply this to your ex. They're in the rear view mirror. Don't go back to zero. Stay strong.

I don't know if it helps anyone else but one thing that helps me is to listen to some really confident rap. Currently listening to Jay-Z Blueprint album and Kanye Graduation album. They help me to feel better and I want to pass them on to everyone here. I know rap isn't for everyone, I love all music, and I especially know Kanye ISN'T for everyone but one thing you cannot deny is his unshakeable confidence. That's what we need gents. Nothing keeps you down unless YOU let it.

In addition, last night she called me while she was getting on her plane to leave. Obviously, I didn't answer. She left a voicemail. It went as follows, "Hey, DonnyJuanny. Umm... I know we aren't really talking right now but I just wanted to let you know that I'm on the plane and umm... heading back. I just wanted to thank you so much for the couple days that I had with you. They were absolutely perfect and I wouldn't have them any other way. Umm... I hope you're doing well and I love you. Bye."

Cool. Cya.

 

[[email protected]]

So it's been like two and a half weeks of no contact. Today I was on a little bit of an emotional roller coaster, but I had a unique moment, almost like an epiphany. It was the first time the thought actually entered my mind that I would be ok without her, and that my life could actually be better without her. Kind of like, if she's not supposed to be in my life or doesn't want to be, then she doesn't deserve me, and that this is a sad ending for her, and not for me. This is a new beginning for me. I'm sure there are going to be more bad days and moments ahead of me, but does anyone else remember having a moment like this? And is the beginning of a shift in my thinking? Could this be me seeing the first signs of moving past all of this? I hope so, because I'm tired of having the mood swings, of going from being hurt to being angry with her. I don't want to hate her. I just want to be happy. Input?

 

[DonnyJuanny]

So it's been like two and a half weeks of no contact. Today I was on a little bit of an emotional roller coaster, but I had a unique moment, almost like an epiphany. It was the first time the thought actually entered my mind that I would be ok without her, and that my life could actually be better without her. Kind of like, if she's not supposed to be in my life or doesn't want to be, then she doesn't deserve me, and that this is a sad ending for her, and not for me. This is a new beginning for me. I'm sure there are going to be more bad days and moments ahead of me, but does anyone else remember having a moment like this? And is the beginning of a shift in my thinking? Could this be me seeing the first signs of moving past all of this? I hope so, because I'm tired of having the mood swings, of going from being hurt to being angry with her. I don't want to hate her. I just want to be happy. Input?

So much yes. Keep it up brother. You will be fine without her. No. You will be better without her. Do not let yourself think anything else. She ****ed up. Let her live the rest of her life realizing that while you go off and realize that she did you the biggest favor of your life. Of course you'll never let her know how big of a favor she did you. Let that hampster spin forever.

 

[Twist of Cain]

she dumped me on xmas (we had been on and off for months - she even drove 6 hours to see me in november..) - texted me 3 weeks later, i took 2 weeks to respond.. first meet up went great, she's in a new city an hour away.. 2nd meet up, i could she was kinda cold and frumpy..

i texted periodically for a 3rd hang out, but she said "I dunno I have to think about stuff.."

about a week later, i told her to call me - she never did..

fast forward a week after that, i randomly see her at the gym i train at.. it went okay enough that..

she said “text me later”

monday, 4 days later, i texted her:

me: hey doll in town for a week on course.
tnight or thurs after 9 i should be available for trouble

(5 hrs later) her: Hey! I’m busy tonight and
Thursday I close. In the process of getting
another job at a restaurant

..while i was waiting for her reply – i picked up a girl at a corner store – we made plans for that evening..

3 hrs later I text back: thats fine babe found someone else 2 go with

her : (a-ok sign) awesome! Good for you

she texted me 45 secs later..

I obviously haven’t replied back. she mentioned last time we chilled if I liked the ‘chase’.. either that or why don’t i chase..

either way, I asked her to explain herself, she said she believes if a guy truly wants a girl he should chase after her..

It obviously mind****ed me – I’m not sure how to proceed.

 

[way2smart]

I obviously haven’t replied back. she mentioned last time we chilled if I liked the ‘chase’.. either that or why don’t i chase..

either way, I asked her to explain herself, she said she believes if a guy truly wants a girl he should chase after her..

It obviously mind****ed me – I’m not sure how to proceed.

If a girl asks you to text later, you NEVER text!
And you never chase a girl! You should have told her right there and then "Sorry, I never chase girls!"

Remember, if a girl truly wants you, she will make it easy for you! In fact an interested girl will walk on broken glass to meet with you. She isn't interested, move on!

And she wants you to chase because she wants to have a beta orbiter around, who doesn't? You have to stand up for yourself man.

 

[Twist of Cain]

it's funny because i told her at the gym, when i asked her to clarify - i told her i'd never chase you. I don't chase girls etc..

she's a dirty high. i lust for her, so it was a temptation too strong..

 

[way2smart]

it's funny because i told her at the gym, when i asked her to clarify - i told her i'd never chase you. I don't chase girls etc..

she's a dirty high. i lust for her, so it was a temptation too strong..

You need to go NC for life with this girl. She is only using you for attention, to get her ego boost and probably wants you as a beta orbiter.
You need to STOP all contact, stop replying to her messages. She is done. Meet other girls, you will forget about her in no time.

 

[Twist of Cain]

after 3 years brother it'll be tough..

interesting how you laid on the NC for life.. obviously i won't be initiating any communication..