The *No Contact* Challenge! ( Read this if you just got dumped)

[Romezu]

I'm right there with you, brother. It's been just over a week for me, and I know EXACTLY what you're going through. You're lonely, you wonder how someone that supposedly loved you could just drop you, you feel like you're crawling out of your own skin. The anxiety sucks. Thinking about her being with someone else literally makes you sick. I know all of this, and I think we all go through it. You're not alone. Stay strong, and if you want, you can pm me. We are both in the early stages of no contact. Maybe we can help keep one another on the right track. Hang in there, bro!

Im trying my best but its so hard. One night stands dont help at all. Its fun and all but in the moring i feel so bad because its some random chick instead of the one that i love. This was my 2nd serious relationship, we were together for almost 2 years. Last time when i got dumped by my exex it took me over 1 year to get over her, i met this new girl and started dating her, at first i just liked to hang around her but i would still think about my exex but sooner than i knew i fell in love with her so badly and got over exex completly. So i know that i will get over this girl aswell, but i just dont want to be in same situation for like 1 year or so. That was worst year of my live.

Also why she doesnt text or calls bothers me. She doesnt care at all or what? Actually i know that all her friends are talking **** about me so maybe they managed to brainwash and turn her against me totally. Maybe she met someone on Tinder or in bar. My head is gonna explode soon from all these questions. I wont ever give 100% of myself to anyone anymore because when they leave you u will have nothing left, biggest mistake a man can do.

 

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Im trying my best but its so hard. One night stands dont help at all. Its fun and all but in the moring i feel so bad because its some random chick instead of the one that i love. This was my 2nd serious relationship, we were together for almost 2 years. Last time when i got dumped by my exex it took me over 1 year to get over her, i met this new girl and started dating her, at first i just liked to hang around her but i would still think about my exex but sooner than i knew i fell in love with her so badly and got over exex completly. So i know that i will get over this girl aswell, but i just dont want to be in same situation for like 1 year or so. That was worst year of my live.

Also why she doesnt text or calls bothers me. She doesnt care at all or what? Actually i know that all her friends are talking **** about me so maybe they managed to brainwash and turn her against me totally. Maybe she met someone on Tinder or in bar. My head is gonna explode soon from all these questions. I wont ever give 100% of myself to anyone anymore because when they leave you u will have nothing left, biggest mistake a man can do.

I know it's hard, because I fight the same thing, but it's better if you don't try to figure out what's going on in her head. You'll never figure it out anyway. I feel better on the days when I don't try to "crystal ball" what's going on in her life. We never really know anyway, right? Even if you were to ask her you would spend all of your time second guessing if she's even telling you the truth. I've already had a couple of one night stands myself, and I know it's just a temporary fix. You always feel worse the next day. You have to heal first before you can have anything meaningful again. At least that's what I believe. Just be careful that you aren't leading someone else on and hurting them when you're trying to make yourself feel better. If it's a roll in the hay, make sure they are aware of that or else you may be putting someone else in a position to feel the way that you do now. Any one of us that is posting here obviously has feelings, or we wouldn't be here, so I'm sure this is something that you wouldn't want to purposefully do to another person. God knows I wouldn't put my worst enemy through what I'm feeling now. Hang in there, bro. I'm trying to do the same. At least you're not alone.

 

[Romezu]

Picture 19 years with the same woman, married 16 of those. Then she pulls the pin, taking your kids, half of everything, you have to pay alimony and child support. Kinda puts your situation in perspective, I hope.

I came through allright and you will too. It is time to focus 100% on YOU. Get fit. Learn to make money, invest money and stay the hell out of debt. Stop looking for "the one" Let time pass.

Ouch. That must hurt... You are true that now its time to focus 100% on myself. Maybe its just too early to even think clearly but i am just trying to survive day by day. I hope i wont break NC and stay strong. Sometimes i also feel that even if she would want me back i would not want her anymore because of what she is making me going trought right now so i guess thats positive eh ?

 

[Romezu]

I'm at just over a week now of no contact. I had a couple of decent days in there, but I had dreams about her last night and that set me back. I guess you can't control your dreams though. I just can't believe all of this is easy for her. I'm tired of feeling this way, but I'm also hating myself for whining about it still. i keep hoping that sooner or later my mind will just break and I will be able to tell myself "enough is enough. Pull yourself together." I still want her back, and I find myself still thinking that if I leave her alone it just makes it that much easier for her to forget and go on. I know that's not right, and I shouldn't even be thinking about winning her back, but my mind doesn't seem ready to let go just yet. Can anyone relate to this? Was there a period of time that you were still hoping for reconciliation before your mind let go? I know the point of no contact is to allow yourself to heal, but I'm still in the stage where I'me not interested in healing. I'm just interested in having her back. Will this eventually take care of itself, or is there a way to trick yourself into thinking the way you're supposed to. Help please. I don't want to fail at this again.

I am kinda in a hurry but i just wanted to say thanks for helping and that i appreciate that you offered to talk in PM. For some reason i cant PM you here. Maybe skype or something else?

 

[[email protected]]

@ Romezu. I sent you a PM. I hope that will solve your problem with PMing me. If not, we can work something else out. @ Mauser96. Great advice bro. It's hard advice to follow in the beginning, and sounds harsh, but I have no doubt it's true. Hope everyone who is a novice at this no contact thing like me is doing well, and I hope we can all look back on this someday and say that it's the best thing we've ever done for ourselves.

Peace and love,
Josh

 

[Between_The_Lines]

Maybe that. Like the other day I was laying in my bed after banging this plate and I actually looked at my ex's profile while the plate was taking a shower.

No no a billion times NO. Stay out of there. I understand it's difficult, but you must develop the discipline to resist the urge to check up on her, or it will take you much, much longer to move on from her, and it will likely only get worse with time if you maintain that bad habit (ex. watching her add one potential prospect after another, possibly seeing her bash you in some way, seeing her together with a new guy). My suggestion is to begin to view that kind of behavior as something beneath you, offensive, malignant, self-destructive, on par with smoking meth.

 

[GS750]

I'm at just over 4 months no contact. She has contacted me several times during that time period, but I delete without even reading it. A few days ago I got a text from her that was obviously a manipulation attempt, it was something we used to joke about all the time. Trying to be all nostalgic on me and sh*t. DELETE.

 

[way2smart]

No no a billion times NO. My suggestion is to begin to view that kind of behavior as something beneath you, offensive, malignant, self-destructive, on par with smoking meth.

Word. Will try thinking that way.

 

[JohnyTheArrow]

No no a billion times NO. Stay out of there. I understand it's difficult, but you must develop the discipline to resist the urge to check up on her, or it will take you much, much longer to move on from her, and it will likely only get worse with time if you maintain that bad habit (ex. watching her add one potential prospect after another, possibly seeing her bash you in some way, seeing her together with a new guy). My suggestion is to begin to view that kind of behavior as something beneath you, offensive, malignant, self-destructive, on par with smoking meth.

TRUE

It is one of the most emotionally painfull experiences you can give to yourself.It affects your mental and physical state and can lead to serious illness because of strong emotional stress. Is it worth ?

Also remeber ... ex most probably suspects you look and may post stuff like pictures or words just to hurt you. When you still love her she thinks and talks about you as 'the looser'.Why you miss and try somebody who thinks so low about you ?

For EX you are always 'the looser', this way she protects herself, she can't talk or think good about it because it would mean me she was wrong. So when you miss your princess, think highly about her - she thinks exactly opposite you a piece of trash in her mind.After breakup women will look for 1000000 ... bad things in you to justify they left you to protect their mind.

 

[zorg198]

I'm in 3 month's of NC.

I'm dating a new girl. few days ago we had sex and the face of my ex was in my eyes. this really pisses me off. i know its been 3 months but i cant shake her memory from my head. i don't know what to do.... i will never contact her because i gave my word i and i stick to it.

Joe.

 

[JohnyTheArrow]

Dress yourself impressive,get new haircut,look great and walk the streets ladies will notice and when you see you get attention from cuties, you will feel much better.

To not to look at fb ... just disconnect yourself from internet completly for few weeks to build resistance.

Everywhere in flat post postit notes with offensive stuff about her, like 'she is *****' 'she is liar' 'she sucks now other guys dlck' 'she is stupid' 'she is not worth even checking fb' ... now it wont hurt her because she will nwver known but will help you take princess image off your mind by connecting negativity with her.

We all suffer because we have delusional snow white image of her in our minds but she doesnt think about you snow white,to break up she painted you all black long time ago.You dont break with somebody you think high of.You are painted black,paint her black too in your mind,imagine its you who broke first,and find reasons to do so.

 

[GS750]

GS750, can you remind us how your breakup happened?

It really wasn't anything big, no argument or cheating or anything like that. We just weren't on the same page as far as interest level...hers being much higher than mine IMO. She wanted full commitment, talked about moving in together, etc. I wasn't looking for that. So we split, she had a new BF in about 2.5 minutes, pics all over FB of them, etc. She doesn't want to be alone, I get it. That didn't bother me. But she tried to keep tabs on me, saying she missed me, texting regularly, etc. all that crap. I found that a little odd since she was with someone, so I went ghost. No interest in love triangles, thank you. She kept contacting me after I told her to stop. That's when I went into hardcore NC ignore mode and have been there ever since. But I still get little "ping" texts from time to time. It's been so long I have no idea why she still contacts me, but that's women for ya.

 

[Noyou]

Chins up ladies and gents,

I've been silent from the board for about a month because I've recently been inquired by a very important company in a job offer and I'm being flown for an interview tomorrow.

I wouldn't have thought in my wildest dreams I'd be involved with them in terms of work. Glad the ex got rid of me
Would have never lead to this opportunity if I was still with my toxic ex. KEEP UP THAT NC

Wish me luck.

 

[zorg198]

Good luck brother.

 

[way2smart]

Okay, I didn't look at her profile for 2 days. I'm doing great. It helps to think that it's pathetic and really unmanly thing to do.

 

[Between_The_Lines]

Okay, I didn't look at her profile for 2 days. I'm doing great. It helps to think that it's pathetic and really unmanly thing to do.

That's how you do it. Good job. Eventually you'll lose track of the days and realize that almost an entire year has flown by and you haven't dropped in on her page once. Take pride in not being like lord knows how many other dudes who do otherwise.

 

[Yorkex]

I suggest having a quick read if you are in NC & thinking about moving on with your life or getting an ex back.

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=224446

I know this is a low time in life for most of you BUT don't neglect this huge learning experience. You can come out of this stage a completely different person that women throw themselves at you. Have a read and apply some of the tips.

 

[[email protected]]

Thanks for that Yorkex! I'm already starting to hate the guy I was a week ago! The pain is still there, but I have the strength to continue. I consider all of this a test of manhood, and when I come through it I'll be the man I was always supposed to be.

 

[plocky001]

I know it seems hard to find a girl and also hard after being dumped by the one you think is the one but hey, always keep in mind something and ask yourself.... did I do something wrong? by something wrong I mean cheating or treating her disrespectfully if u haven't then at least you know as a couple you did what was needed. however always try to improve in your personal skills like keeping a female entertained not only in bed but also in a conversation. for that you can visit the link on my signature it will help you a lot

 

[hockeyfreak79]

NO CONACT MEANS NO CONTACT!
I went NC a solid 21 days. Then I get a text: "hangout" blah blah

I'm thinking screw this I can handle this sh*t whatever, I'm already over her.
2 weekends in a row booty call. DON'T DO THIS! IT'S NOT WORTH IT!

So this past weekend after a f*ck I thank her for the early bday present. She's like what, when?

Her hamster starts spinning like crazy. I say: Yup that's why this ended, I remember now. Her face was priceless.

The relationship is dead & has been, I knew it was just f*cking & getting release but man what a kick in the nutz.

Oh well, I should know better.