"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."
Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.
Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?
You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.
Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.
The *No Contact* Challenge! ( Read this if you just got dumped)
- Thread starter Daydream Engineer
- Start date
"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."
Attraction runs on a clock.
She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.
The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."
One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.
Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.
Sometimes I'm really tempted to get in touch with her after all this time because I do miss her and I hope that she feels the same way however surely she would contact me or maybe she thinks I don't want to hear from her.
It was her idea to break up and it kind of came out of nowhere, we did go on a break before we finished. All those happy memories and I haven't heard from her at all. I know contacting her is not the way to go but you never know. I don't have her number now so I'd have to go to her place or message her through Facebook.
Need some advice guys
Darrenez said:
OK well I sent her a simple How are you message over FB,now I know it is going against NC however I read this article : http://torontosnumber1datedoctor.com/blog/who-should-initiate-reconciliation-dumper-or-dumpee/
At the of the day, I had nothing to lose except a little bit of pride. Obviously I probably won't get news I want to hear but so what, I've been brave enough to take the risk of contacting her so what will be ,will be.
I was in a similar thing fella. Around the same period of time relationship. And then gone - nothing. It takes time, it's just coming up to the 1 year anniversary of the breakup for me - it does get easier.....Darrenez said:
I was exactly the same as you. We had a lot of stuff to sort out, a house, mortgage, finances etcDarrenez said:
It took months to seperated everything - and I clung to hope all the way through the process......
Like you, it was her idea to split up. And mate, I gotta be honest, as you go through the process you'll finally realise and notice that she was slightly ahead of you in that process, so although you think you're 3 months broken up, she's probably more like 4.......Darrenez said:
I don't really know how long nc I am with her - and I don't really care, we're actually on good terms now
And by that I mean she'd class us as friends, and I could talk to her without feeling anything for her if I wanted to talk to her but to be honest I don't bother.
Eventually you'll get to the same mindset as me, it just takes time and every time you contact her it puts you back a bit.....
You're obviously struggling a bit, 7 years with her to nothing isnt easy,
I suggest you start looking after yourself more. Get out with mates, take up some new hobbies, try some of the things you've always wanted to try but never gotten round to.
Get out and enjoy life - do not dwell on the past and don't dwell on her
Hi there.. I hope you can advice me regarding my situation..
There s alot of twist of my story.. I broke up with my ex boyfriend but i didnt think that he would agree.. We have this fighting and breakups always but still we manage the trials and be back together..but this time it ends... He dont want to comminicate with me and he avoided me.. I try the no contact rule but it doesnt happen the 60days.. Because everytime i do this after 2weeks he keeps on calling me and im answering thinkin that he would tell me that he want us to be back together..but it doesnt happen because he just say sorry and hi hello...and i found out that they are together with his ex girlfriend. I dont know what hapen but it goes like that.., after communicating with him we again texting and talking thinkin thatwe again can be together..but then it the same..so i did stop again all the means of communication.. For almost 4months we are like that... Having no contact but after two weeks or more than two weeks he keeps calling texting and want to see me.. I do always agree thinkin that we will be back because i really do love my ex boyfriend..i am thinkin that he will be my forever...but then it doesnt goes like that... Still he is with another girl but he is still texting calling me.. the treatment is just the same when we are in a relationship..the only difference is that we are not in a relationship right now.. Its too complicated..i do understand him that he cant fight his love for me because its against all odd. I am a muslim and he is a catholic... He also explain to me that he just chose what is good for both of us.. But i am confuse with what his saying and what his doing.. He dont want us to be in a relationship because he have his girlfriend now but he keeps seeing and talking to me everyday..the routine when we are in a relationship is still the same.. I really dont know what to do.. I am afraid that if i stop comunicating with him he will forget me and move on but on the other part im afraid to comunicate cause maybe he will realize and stay friends forever.. I really want him back.. Do advice me ..thanks..
"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"
I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.
The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.
Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.
She closed them with you by leaving youDarrenez said:
Stop, don't leave them open, if she wants you, she knows where to find you.
This is a power struggle to see if she can still keep you around.
DO NOT FALL FOR IT! ALL OF YOU!
"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"
She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.
Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.
The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.
Thanks for the advice... I really appreciate... And i understand what your saying.even if its hard for me i will start the nc again... I hope after the nc we will be back together.. Its really hard to be in this complicated situation.
It is hard, but it gets easier.Ashte said:
You need to try and occupy yourself to take your mind off of him
At the moment he has his cake and eats it. He gets everything he wants physically from his new partner and still gets the talky stuff that he had with you still from you
Whilst he has both if these things he will never change the situation he is in, unless eventually he moves all the talky stuff to her.....
Don't put yourself through this (I went through the same thing, cut him off now and don't give in!!!)
Like I said I was in the same situation as you.Ashte said:I hope after the nc we will be back together.. Its really hard to be in this complicated situation.
You need to stop hoping you'll get back together, as long as you cling onto that hope the longer it will take for you to heal.
Hypothetical - say you did get back together, what's to say he won't start talking to another girl behind your back like he's doing to this girl!!
And, for him to come back to you is like you are the consolation prize, go nc!!! Show him that he doesn't get what he used to have if he's not with you.....
A problem I have though is that I'm constantly checking her social media profiles, twitter, quora, etc...and that may be contributing to me having hard time moving on...
"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"
Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.
She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.
Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.
So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.
The words come later. The impression comes first.
Cerwin Vega
Master Don Juan
Well after breaking NC of 110 days I messaged my ex yesterday on Facebook. We had a innocent discussion about work etc. So today I message her a simple message and she's read it but hasn't replied.
It was a basic how was your day message. I don't get how someone can read the message and not be bothered to reply even a simple message back would have done. Bang out of order tbh. I know we aren't together anymore but I'm hardly a stranger.
I guess I know where I stand and to be honest I'm not too disappointed I broke NC as the dust had settled between us. I just wanted to open the lines of communication and now they are back down again. I'm actually tempted to delete my Facebook account al together now so she doesn't have any to check up on me,not that she would.
Any opinions on this guys please.
StuffofLegends
Don Juan
- Joined
- Jul 25, 2014
- Messages
- 82
- Reaction score
- 1
I just don't understand how we could spend 3yrs of our lives together and now she doesn't care a thing about me at all?!?! Why we she rather be spending time with and kissing another man other than me?! Makes no sense??? We were so close... Just needed to rant. Thanks for reading if you did. I'd rather rant like a mad man here than send a text to her asking these questions lol. Day 51 almost done but true hardcore NC starts over tomorrow day 1 of no more social media stalking.. God help me!
Basically, what did you gain by breaking NC ?Darrenez said:Well after breaking NC of 110 days I messaged my ex yesterday on Facebook. We had a innocent discussion about work etc. So today I message her a simple message and she's read it but hasn't replied.
It was a basic how was your day message. I don't get how someone can read the message and not be bothered to reply even a simple message back would have done. Bang out of order tbh. I know we aren't together anymore but I'm hardly a stranger.
I guess I know where I stand and to be honest I'm not too disappointed I broke NC as the dust had settled between us. I just wanted to open the lines of communication and now they are back down again. I'm actually tempted to delete my Facebook account al together now so she doesn't have any to check up on me,not that she would.
Any opinions on this guys please.
Here is what I think (because I think I can relate)
You opened the door because deep deep down, you wanted to get back with her. You still had that hope and maybe you still have it...
I think it set you back a little, not a square 1 tho.
I was tempted to delete my fb account. But I just deleted her early after the break up.
Thanks for sharing btw. It reinforces me and the idea of never breaking NC.
Of course I still think about her everyday, even after 100 days something of NC. But like I said, it's not painful. I'll say I am like 80% over her. Now the last 20% is about not thinking about her. And it happens less and less as I keep myself busy.
@Cerwin
Damn man, you know, because of you and Darrenez, I THOUGHT about breaking NC. Just a thought.
Now I'll never do it and I'm good.
I'll religiously follow your other thread
Hope I'll see the progress, it will also help me I think.
Hang in there bro
best of luck
Thanks for the advice pal. She did message me back but yes of course I want her back which is why I had hope. I did delete her from my Facebook but of course if I want to I can still contact her via message. This is why I'm tempted to delete my Facebook account completely.Shaka said:Basically, what did you gain by breaking NC ?
Here is what I think (because I think I can relate)
You opened the door because deep deep down, you wanted to get back with her. You still had that hope and maybe you still have it...
I think it set you back a little, not a square 1 tho.
I was tempted to delete my fb account. But I just deleted her early after the break up.
Thanks for sharing btw. It reinforces me and the idea of never breaking NC.
Of course I still think about her everyday, even after 100 days something of NC. But like I said, it's not painful. I'll say I am like 80% over her. Now the last 20% is about not thinking about her. And it happens less and less as I keep myself busy.
@Cerwin
Damn man, you know, because of you and Darrenez, I THOUGHT about breaking NC. Just a thought.
Now I'll never do it and I'm good.
I'll religiously follow your other thread
Hope I'll see the progress, it will also help me I think.
Hang in there bro
best of luck
"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"
You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.
For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.
Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.
The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.