The *No Contact* Challenge! ( Read this if you just got dumped)

[joker79]

Drakeamore, delete the ****ing number!

 

[drakeramore]

Number deleted.

Even my mother started bashing me for being such a wimp. Should have never broken the NC. Let her have her guilt of conceit or whatever guilt she is having.

The sad truth is I still had my hopes that she still loves me and every contact attempt made by her (even very, very slightly) reinforced my hopes that we will be back together one day because she misses me.

Sentimental and sensitive fool that I am. Actions speak louder than words. She left me, left the fvckin country for that matter to be with another foreign dude (she does not even speak his native language).

Fvck this situation, I have dug myself in a hole once again.

Day #1 all over again. Fvck this sh!t, I need to stop counting these days as when I count them I still remember why I started counting, I envision her and the times we had together. Funny thing is we were not even THAT happy together, it is just that my brain has decided to remember this period as a legendary-like era of complete and utter bliss, sunshine and rainbows. And when I compare it to now and take account that the only thing that has changed is her leaving - my logical brain makes the rationalization that indeed, she is the center and the key and the unique ingredient that can ever make my happiness become reality.

Complete Bullsh!t

If she calls me I will pick up to check on those fvckin pictures.

And after that - no 60 days challenge, no 90 days challenge - no contact forever it will be.
Or at least until I stop caring about her.

 

[mikey2012]

Number deleted.

Even my mother started bashing me for being such a wimp. Should have never broken the NC. Let her have her guilt of conceit or whatever guilt she is having.

The sad truth is I still had my hopes that she still loves me and every contact attempt made by her (even very, very slightly) reinforced my hopes that we will be back together one day because she misses me.

Sentimental and sensitive fool that I am. Actions speak louder than words. She left me, left the fvckin country for that matter to be with another foreign dude (she does not even speak his native language).

Fvck this situation, I have dug myself in a hole once again.

Day #1 all over again. Fvck this sh!t, I need to stop counting these days as when I count them I still remember why I started counting, I envision her and the times we had together. Funny thing is we were not even THAT happy together, it is just that my brain has decided to remember this period as a legendary-like era of complete and utter bliss, sunshine and rainbows. And when I compare it to now and take account that the only thing that has changed is her leaving - my logical brain makes the rationalization that indeed, she is the center and the key and the unique ingredient that can ever make my happiness become reality.

Complete Bullsh!t

If she calls me I will pick up to check on those fvckin pictures.

And after that - no 60 days challenge, no 90 days challenge - no contact forever it will be.
Or at least until I stop caring about her.

Weak fvcking weak

dude sorry but you seriuosly need to let go. she is not coming back. never. we are here to help but please dont make a fool of yourself. she is gone man. delete everything. go abroad for 2 weeks and have a holiday. dude do something stupid.. i dunno get arrested and go to jail. yes prision is better than where you are now. its hard but you gotta get away otherwise you will go mad. PM if you want

 

[drakeramore]

Thanks, Mikey,

I feel better right now. Still, damage has already been done.

I guess I deserved this for my moment of weakness. Anyway, I am thinking, if she aint coming back - isnt it all the same? ie me or her having the upper hand.

I just have to move on, it is still up to me, not to her.

I and I alone have that power and need to exercise it at last.

I guess her ego is satisfied and her hamster - exulting.

Let her have the last laugh, I will go dark once more, only if she calls me now for those pictures perhaps I will pick up to hear her say it she has deleted them.

Enough with me wishing her all the best all the time - it is now to a point of it getting ridiculous. I have only myself to blame. I guess it is another good lesson for me. I have lost count now how many lessons I have "learned". I guess your own experience is the best teacher. Reading here about those kind of situations also helps but you always wonder "what if" and want to believe that your case is special, that your ex girl is not like the rest.

Only natural it is, I guess. Alas, I am only human and make mistakes.

Life goes on.

 

[Jariel]

Hey there folks. I just thought I'd drop in to share this guided meditation:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4vgKzXdwtRE

It's quite a simple process that just involves taking a time out and observing and detaching from your thoughts. This is a process that really helped calm me down during my more obsessive period.

During the early stages of a break up it feels like the pain lasts all day and never gives up and you just want a break from it from time to time. It gets to the point where you treasure those moments of respite, how ever short they are. I found meditation really helps to give you more of those time outs from the pain and gives you more control over your mind.

Unfortunately there is no miracle cure. You have to go through this pain and like Jackson37 said, you should allow yourself the chance to grieve. The sooner you acknowledge your loss and grieve over it, the sooner you can move forward.

 

[adam225]

Even better - re program your subconscious mind to stop feeling upset.

First: http://www.hypnosisdownloads.com/learn-hypnosis

Second: http://www.hypnosisdownloads.com/all-downloads

You need to look under the "relationship help" section. And before anyone asks - YES it works. I've got around 20 different tracks off them, which I've benefitted off.

 

[orbion2013]

is there any point grieving over a girlfriend, whom was for the majority of the time, just a horrible human bieng

 

[Renegade357]

is there any point grieving over a girlfriend, whom was for the majority of the time, just a horrible human bieng

It sounds like you stuck around for the beating my friend.

When you're on the wrong side of things like every other guy in this thread including me the girlfriends do tend to be vile towards the end. The longer you remain clueless that they want to get rid of you and let it drag on the worse they'll get. That's why you gotta get out quick when things go beyond hope for repair.

Even the sweetest girls like my ex can turn into a straight hate filled harpy.

 

[orbion2013]

It sounds like you stuck around for the beating my friend.

When you're on the wrong side of things like every other guy in this thread including me the girlfriends do tend to be vile towards the end. The longer you remain clueless that they want to get rid of you and let it drag on the worse they'll get. That's why you gotta get out quick when things go beyond hope for repair.

Even the sweetest girls like my ex can turn into a straight hate filled harpy.

i did used to get out... i dumped her many times... couple of weeks later, she would come begging again... this girl was defo cluster b and serious passive aggressive

glad i,m out of the hell hole

 

[cgr68311]

Day 7 sucked big time

I did perfect all week, last contact (initiated by me) was last Saturday at noon. She broke things up on /12/23. I had given her an ultimatum text which she blew off. You guys may even recall I had a date couple days ago. That went fine, too. Last night I went salsa dancing and also met a very classy young puertorican gal, much younger (HB8) and child less as compared to my ex (33, 1 8 yr old child).

Yet on my way back I could not help but drive by her place AGAIN (similar to last Friday). That messed me up today pretty bad. I woke up thinking of all the promises I made to her to bed her (marriage, children, job, honeymoon, vacations, etc.) and got very unbearable. To top things off my kid wanted to go see my ex lover and her kid.

Then I bought Michael Fiore's text your ex back program. He actually states that this program is meant to get back with quality women and even then you may change your mind at the end of the 30 days of NC. He actually forces you to wait the NC before he reveals each of the individual program modules as well as the powerful top secret text messages to use on her/him, which he compares to Trojan horse [messages]. Nevertheless, he also states that by the end of the NC period you must have gone out on a few dates, improved yourself, etc. Nice overall, I am hoping that I can at least fool my mind so that I can go through this NC and then be ready to not give a f**k once it's over...

 

[orbion2013]

another weekend gone by... she has probably sent me some emails, but i do not even check anymore.

have to keep going and get this toxic woman out of my life... man it's hard at times

 

[jackson37]

Hey there folks. I just thought I'd drop in to share this guided meditation:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4vgKzXdwtRE

It's quite a simple process that just involves taking a time out and observing and detaching from your thoughts. This is a process that really helped calm me down during my more obsessive period.

During the early stages of a break up it feels like the pain lasts all day and never gives up and you just want a break from it from time to time. It gets to the point where you treasure those moments of respite, how ever short they are. I found meditation really helps to give you more of those time outs from the pain and gives you more control over your mind.

Unfortunately there is no miracle cure. You have to go through this pain and like Jackson37 said, you should allow yourself the chance to grieve. The sooner you acknowledge your loss and grieve over it, the sooner you can move forward.

Good stuff man. Ive been meditating daily for about 2 weeks now and it has wonderful effects, not just regarding dealing with the emotional stress/build up but it also boost serotonin and allows you to acknowledge feelings and let them pass (easier said than done haha).

I'll add this 20min clip to my routine and try it out before bed!

For all others suffering please consider meditation, what do you have to lose? Just try it




Cant believe I'm only on day 3......

 

[bateman72]

dude hang in there, the first few days are the toughest

Reading here about those kind of situations also helps but you always wonder "what if" and want to believe that your case is special, that your ex girl is not like the rest.

Only natural it is, I guess. Alas, I am only human and make mistakes.

Life goes on.

drakermore:

I broke off with my ex when I found her getting online dating messages and I believe she slept with a guy from okcupid.

I also badly wanted to believe that the object of my affection and love was somehow different. Friday night I reconnected with a friend that lives in her city. Turns out she was actually talking to this dude on OKC as well. I read through their entire message thread.

Earlier in the evening on Friday I found myself in a pretty hot sexual situation involving school girl uniforms and oral sex. The sad part of this experience is that I have to close my eyes and imagine my ex to have an orgasm.

So anyway I spent the entire Saturday pretty mad at myself for losing my **** over this particular girl. I been really focusing on making some new guy friends and getting some plates spinning. basically rebuilding my social life. Its actually working. The last three days I have been ok 80% of the time. The remaining 20% of the time has been spent angry at myself for getting myself in to the situation I am in. What seems to be going away is the obsessive replaying of scenes and scenarios involving my ex. I have had to train my mind a bit just to get some fvcking sleep and peace of mind.

I went out last night and got totally blown out by three women in a row. All solid 8's and 9's, it was almost like they could smell defeat on me. I ended up chilling on cold approaching and just hung out with some guys I met at the place. Around 3:00am I settled into a nice casual conversation with a cute (7) aussie girl. We talked and danced and then I left around 4:00 with her number.

I just finished a nice brunch with this aussie girl. Pretty charmed by

her in fact, a quality girl with a hot little body.


I have noticed a pattern in my hookups and my mental state. The first few times I was out or hooked up with a new girl, my mind was almost 100% focused on the fact that this girl was not my girlfriend and I spent the time fervently wishing she was.

The last couple of times however I am starting to notice qualities in the girl that are better than my ex. Taking this 7'ish aussie girl for example:

1) better dancer than my girlfriend
2) better tits than my girlfriend
3) infinitely better conversationalist than my ex
4) prettier feet than my girlfriend


The girls we are all suffering over are to some large extent, creations of our own minds. Based on my experience I can recommend that you guys use this NC period to radically increase your approaches and interactions with females. Any female. Try to find the things that are a clear improvement over your ex in these women. I think this might help you break down the perfect mental image in your head of your ex.

anyway...I am on day 9 after breaking contact on day 18. stay strong guys

 

[bateman72]

meditation....

Good stuff man. Ive been meditating daily for about 2 weeks now and it has wonderful effects, not just regarding dealing with the emotional stress/build up but it also boost serotonin and allows you to acknowledge feelings and let them pass (easier said than done haha).

I'll add this 20min clip to my routine and try it out before bed!

For all others suffering please consider meditation, what do you have to lose? Just try it




Cant believe I'm only on day 3......

Guys I noticed a lot of posts about meditation on this thread. I also noticed that Owen from RSD is pretty big on meditation.

I used to be a pretty serious meditator. One hour per day everyday and one group session per week. I have been on a 10 day meditation retreat before as well.

I know for a fact I wouldn't be in the situation I am in now had I maintained this practice and I am in fact turning back to the practice while I go through this experience with my ex.

I want to recommend a book to you guys that are seriously interested in getting mentally stronger.

http://books.google.com.sg/books/about/Beyond_the_Breath.html?id=iDB3tMENQKcC&redir_esc=y

check it out, this book really changed my life at one point. I am signing up for another retreat in February.

 

[yellowfever]

Day 7

My gf left me 1 week ago.

I still think about her too much. I will not contact her but I still care about her. If she contacted me, I am not sure what I would do. It's my birthday in a few days. I think I doomed our relationship early on. When we were together less than 3 weeks, I bought her a new phone for her birthday to replace her aging iPhone3. i bought her a Samsung Galaxy S3 which is a capable phone but it caused non stop headache. I never realized her Apple mania. This purchase was a big cause of friction in our relationship. I should have repaired my errors and bought her an iPhone but who really needs such a commercial/product driven woman.

I know she is trying to go back to her old bf from 18 months ago. They chat online all the time as he is in another country and will not be able to return until March at the earliest.

Since she left, she has an iphone. Good for her. I don't need to care.

I still pay too much attention to her messages (I have access to some of them) but I cannot read them easily as they are in another language. I know from the tone what is going on. I'm interested in her too much. I may have one of my friends translate some portions for me.

I often think about being vindictive and trying to poison their renewed acquaintance but I don't know what good it would do for me or bad to them.

In any case, he knows something about the relationship we had but not enough to know when it ended. I still feel lots of pain.

She was the best gf I ever had. When I met her, she was a simple innocent girl but over time I learned she is just another attention seeking woman unsure of her future and scared of being alone. She might have issues with confidence.

I failed in this relationship and I need to learn from it.

I am presently in Indonesia to meet my gf before this one. We ended nearly 18 months ago and I saw her once last year for a few days. I continued contact with her as I paid for her to go to school in Indonesia to improve her future.

I don't have the same attraction or feelings for her that I once had, probably because she is 'less' for me than the latest gf that just ended and for which I am doing the NC challenge.

I feel too that when she meets her ex-bf in March or later, that their relationship won't be the same. I'm sure we had the best sex of her life together. And I had some of the best most satisfying sex of my life with her too. I'm not sure but there is a good chance her relationship with the ex-bf will fail quickly.

We had a great sexual relationship but honestly NOT ENOUGH sex. At the start she 'offered' to provide sex 3 or 4 times a week but rarely did we have sex 3 times a week. A few months later she lowered the quota to 1 to 2 times a week. I can live with that but it is really too low. I was used to banging daily (or more frequently) with most of past gfs. I could accept her less than ideal quota because I was too crazy for her. When she put out it was wonderful. I was totally addicted to her.

It was absolutely great on last night of our relationship before she got on her plane and left and I got on my plane in another direction.

I'm looking for someone new to replace her. Someone with more beauty, more intelligence and more capability and someone with a higher libido. Someone just for me. I'm also working on myself, I need to lose a little more weight, work a lot harder for my future and become a generally happier person.

Until I find the one that excites me to no end, I will play the game and spin plates as they say.

 

[bateman72]

dude...

My gf left me 1 week ago.

I still think about her too much. I will not contact her but I still care about her. If she contacted me, I am not sure what I would do. It's my birthday in a few days. I think I doomed our relationship early on. When we were together less than 3 weeks, I bought her a new phone for her birthday to replace her aging iPhone3. i bought her a Samsung Galaxy S3 which is a capable phone but it caused non stop headache. I never realized her Apple mania. This purchase was a big cause of friction in our relationship. I should have repaired my errors and bought her an iPhone but who really needs such a commercial/product driven woman.

I know she is trying to go back to her old bf from 18 months ago. They chat online all the time as he is in another country and will not be able to return until March at the earliest.

Since she left, she has an iphone. Good for her. I don't need to care.

I still pay too much attention to her messages (I have access to some of them) but I cannot read them easily as they are in another language. I know from the tone what is going on. I'm interested in her too much. I may have one of my friends translate some portions for me.

I often think about being vindictive and trying to poison their renewed acquaintance but I don't know what good it would do for me or bad to them.

In any case, he knows something about the relationship we had but not enough to know when it ended. I still feel lots of pain.

She was the best gf I ever had. When I met her, she was a simple innocent girl but over time I learned she is just another attention seeking woman unsure of her future and scared of being alone. She might have issues with confidence.

I failed in this relationship and I need to learn from it.

I am presently in Indonesia to meet my gf before this one. We ended nearly 18 months ago and I saw her once last year for a few days. I continued contact with her as I paid for her to go to school in Indonesia to improve her future.

I don't have the same attraction or feelings for her that I once had, probably because she is 'less' for me than the latest gf that just ended and for which I am doing the NC challenge.

I feel too that when she meets her ex-bf in March or later, that their relationship won't be the same. I'm sure we had the best sex of her life together. And I had some of the best most satisfying sex of my life with her too. I'm not sure but there is a good chance her relationship with the ex-bf will fail quickly.

We had a great sexual relationship but honestly NOT ENOUGH sex. At the start she 'offered' to provide sex 3 or 4 times a week but rarely did we have sex 3 times a week. A few months later she lowered the quota to 1 to 2 times a week. I can live with that but it is really too low. I was used to banging daily (or more frequently) with most of past gfs. I could accept her less than ideal quota because I was too crazy for her. When she put out it was wonderful. I was totally addicted to her.

It was absolutely great on last night of our relationship before she got on her plane and left and I got on my plane in another direction.

I'm looking for someone new to replace her. Someone with more beauty, more intelligence and more capability and someone with a higher libido. Someone just for me. I'm also working on myself, I need to lose a little more weight, work a lot harder for my future and become a generally happier person.

Until I find the one that excites me to no end, I will play the game and spin plates as they say.

Ni hao peng you!


Dude...

stop buying sh.t for woman.

 

[Johnny Alias]

Day... 35.

Up and down. I miss someone who never existed. Unreal to think that. Pun intended. Cluster B nightmare. At 43 and her looks are going downhill fast. I thank god everyday for that. 45 in two years and I'll only be 40. What was I thinking? Major major abuse from a wrinkly gal with a fat ass? Woof.

Spinning many plates now. That feels good. Younger women that aren't going to be insane from pre menopause when I'm older. I like that.

Need to hit gym more, finish a book I'm writing, and do the improvements to my house I've been meaning to make.

That'll get me to 60 easily... But with this one? NC needs to be forever and a day. Personality disordered types absolutely destroy your self esteem. Mine was in the gutter at first. Nothing you do can fill that bottomless hole. NOTHING. Many men make the mistake of thinking that past good deeds account for something... That it all adds up into a big pile of brownie points and respect with these people... But they love in the NOW and nothing matters but their own gratification in this moment. Everything else is just a prop in their play.

No Contact forever. It amazing. Her oldest friends are running from her now. Everyone HATES her. That validates my decision. To hear her oldest friend of 15 years say "you did the right thing."

Scary to think how many more years I could have wasted on that drunken demon.

 

[orbion2013]

Day... 35.

Up and down. I miss someone who never existed. Unreal to think that. Pun intended. Cluster B nightmare. At 43 and her looks are going downhill fast. I thank god everyday for that. 45 in two years and I'll only be 40. What was I thinking? Major major abuse from a wrinkly gal with a fat ass? Woof.

Spinning many plates now. That feels good. Younger women that aren't going to be insane from pre menopause when I'm older. I like that.

Need to hit gym more, finish a book I'm writing, and do the improvements to my house I've been meaning to make.

That'll get me to 60 easily... But with this one? NC needs to be forever and a day. Personality disordered types absolutely destroy your self esteem. Mine was in the gutter at first. Nothing you do can fill that bottomless hole. NOTHING. Many men make the mistake of thinking that past good deeds account for something... That it all adds up into a big pile of brownie points and respect with these people... But they love in the NOW and nothing matters but their own gratification in this moment. Everything else is just a prop in their play.

No Contact forever. It amazing. Her oldest friends are running from her now. Everyone HATES her. That validates my decision. To hear her oldest friend of 15 years say "you did the right thing."

Scary to think how many more years I could have wasted on that drunken demon.

i know how you feel.....


mate i am week 6 no contact now

kinda feel like i made a lucky escape as the future would have been very bleak with her!

check this out... i am 36 years old, in good shape... i work out alot... i don't have any kids, so starting my own family is something i really need to do!

she is 46 years old with 4 kids... 3 of her kids have dumped her & left home... they decided she was a horrible mother & did not want to live with her anymore... also her best friend has stopped talking to her too... and other friends have deserted her too

most of her close freinds are single mothers, slvts without jobs, some take drugs, bisexual, pretty much low value woman...

these are the type who are her close circle... major red flag

she cannot give me any kids at her age... so what future do i have with her? i would be wasting my life away, looking after her & her kids, that she has had with OTHER men!

what do i get out of these deal? i would always come 3rd or 4th... her kids, her family & friends, even her f@cking ex would take a higher position than me..

then one day she would have shown me the f@cking door!


i,m not sure if my ex was bdp, but one thing is for certain, there was defo some major issues there.. i noticed these problems from day one, but stupidly ignored them... as i was mostly just banging her.

NEVER IGNORE THESE RED FLAGS, OR YOU WILL PAY A HEAVY PRICE LATER!

i would put her in the cluster b catogary... she is very immature for her age & 100% is a passive aggressive person... also narcassist traits

it's just not possible to have a relationship with these type of woman, unless you have a very thick skin & you don't care what the out come would be.

the only thing she had going for herself was her looks & our sex life was great... other than that, seriously she was a terrible girlfriend pretty much throught the whole relationship.

in 4 years time, she will be a 50 year old woman..her looks are fading fast, her health is going down hill big time... she is always ill & she has put quite a bit of weight on

one thing tho... i have learnt so much from this experience... looked at my own mistakes & things i should have done better... for example walking away sooner, and not putting up with any bullsh@t

this experience will make me a better stronger wiser man!

 

[orbion2013]

how many of you believe single mothers with more than one kid, is a waste of time?? especialy if you can't have kids with her??

 

[jackson37]

As I reach the end of day 4 its getting harder and harder not to contact. I'm still gonna stick to it cause I keep asking myself whats the point in contacting and being "friends" while she just keeps seeing this other dude. Its killing me but I hope these feelings fade...