The *No Contact* Challenge! ( Read this if you just got dumped)

[joker79]

one chance per girl per lifetime. Don't look back.

 

[JJ07]

one chance per girl per lifetime. Don't look back.

I'm trying my hardest. I hate that I have all this lust for her still. And right now other girls cannot compete

 

[joker79]

Hit the gym, hang out with friends, learn a new language, free your mind whatever it takes. Would you lust her if she was a ugly one? What if she was a HB5? your brain is infected by the perception that she's a your snowflake and other girls cannot compete. WRONG!! that's why women wear make up, dress to impress, flirt and lie. To confuse you. Have a look to Rollo's blog and look up for hypergamy and social conventions, it'll be enlightening.

 

[theonersss]

day 5

5 year relationship. i never committed, we drifted apart. painfully slow on and off break, then break up ,then back then break up again over the course of two months just tore me apart. I did all the wrong things. begged, pleaded, mass text, went to her house. god! Calmed down enough to have some rational conversations with her. she met me for coffee last week. I kept it lite, didnt talk about the relationship at all. It was amazing, we just stared into each others eyes. it was like we first met. I left after a half hour. she texted me in ten min and said she had to walk home she was so excited, said she loved me. I waited a day and guess what......."would you like to get together for lunch?" "No, ive thought about this and i cant go backwards. no i wont go to lunch with you". I said ok, ok. I told her i just cant hang around and be her "friend". I said nc. if you have a change of heart let me know. This is incredibly hard. One of the hardest things i have ever done. I keep waiting looking at the phone hopeing she will text me. Then christmas eve, christmas day, god. how thw hell am i going to get past new years eve? ok...day 5 today, tough day.

 

[cgr68311]

Going NC Day 3

Short story:

Her 36 single mom from a married guy, married a 54 yr old dude when she was 27, kept flirting with older guys so dumped her on Thxngiving, took her back, then got dumped for being violent in front of my son (I slammed my car dashboard because she began having contact with her ex husband and refused to introduce me). I know this was wrong but I did it because she kept pressuring me to hire her for a job I had promised her which technically got me laid. We were together for 6 months.

I picked up my stuff on day 0 where she hugged and kissed me yet warned me to keep the good bye nice or else she would call the cops... I immediately left and sent her a good bye email telling her what I really thought of her (not having boundaries with ex, possibly sleeping with me only because of that job promise, etc. I also told her that I would start healing and forgetting as soon as I pressed SEND and hopefully it wouldn't be too late when she realized me. I also told her that she can keep excusing herself from life long commitments because of seldom angry outbursts such as what I did or what her ex hub did (slam a door on her kid - end result = divorce. Last, I used the same PS. line as one of her last bf's good bye email: 'P.S. Try to get out of that room' (she still lives with her parents)

Since then, I deactivated my phony FB profile, and had gone no contact. I have zero reminders, links etc. I just have my exwife (whom my exgf had added as a contact) telling me that she is logging into her whatsapp constantly and has only done that the two times we've broken up. In any case, her kid's electronic stuff stayed in my car and she just texted me asking for it.... so far these are the options I contemplated:

1. ignore her

2. reply and tell her to f** off

3. reply 'I left it at X police station, exagerada (means exaggerating person in Spanish)'

4. reply I dumped it near her house along with the rest of her junk

5. drop it off at her place by leaving in the yard or porch

6. reply only if you tell me why you really dumped me

7. tell her okay, to meet me at X place and beg her to forgive me, that I am remorseful, responsible and willing to provide restitution

 

[theonersss]

funny, your mind is a funny thing, I picture her partying and screwing every guy she meets. Not thinking about me or careing and all i do is think about her ALL THE TIME. but in reality it was 5 years together! shes probably going thru the same thing i am.

 

[cgr68311]

funny, your mind is a funny thing, I picture her partying and screwing every guy she meets. Not thinking about me or careing and all i do is think about her ALL THE TIME. but in reality it was 5 years together! shes probably going thru the same thing i am.

That's a hell of a long time bro. hang in there, did you really screw up where you need to implement the three R's?

 

[theonersss]

haha naw, i have three boys and their names all begin with "r". im trying to hang in there. i am. god its tough.

 

[theonersss]

i put some of her stuff in a box to mail to her, then i stopped myself. she didnt ask for this stuff your just trying to break the rule. i didnt mail it. one day at a time.

 

[cgr68311]

haha naw, i have three boys and their names all begin with "r". im trying to hang in there. i am. god its tough.

is she hot? mine is and hurts like hell. so I am trying to think of how her beauty is depreciating at a fast rate (she is 33 going on 34) her skin is beginning to sag a little yet has a freaking hot body. I also think of how broke she is (cleans homes, offices, sells jewelry on the side along with her 64 yr old mom) and how stupid she is to let me go (make over 100K, educated, handsome, fun, attractive) and how stupid I was to play along with her crap for that long of a time. I also remind myself of how she was such a reformed slut and acted so prude yet corrected me on the # of condoms that come in those small boxes sold at 7-11 and how she would keep saying that she was saving her cooch for her future husband to which I'd just laugh so hard and she would roll her eyes!

 

[JJ07]

I can stop playing through my head the other night when I saw her and trying to figure out if she truly does want me or not. I remember she wanted and expected me to let her have my jumper as it was cold. But I still keep thinking things like if I gave her my jumper would the night if ended better than it actually did.

I know I'm just wishful thinking. There isn't anything we can do

 

[Lotus Effect]

No JJ

There is not. Sorry for sounding bitter. But there ain't anything you can do at all.

And you will keep replaying lots and lots of moments in your head. The good. The bad. The pathetic. All of them will be replayed.

Just make sure you keep your sh*t together, swallow the pain on your own, and keep moving forward!

 

[theonersss]

ill tell you what i have been doing. im only on day 5 but here it is, I keep telling myself....well you tried all the words, how did that work out for you? nothing left to say. it helps....a little bit

 

[cgr68311]

Short story:

Her 36 single mom from a married guy, married a 54 yr old dude when she was 27, kept flirting with older guys so dumped her on Thxngiving, took her back, then got dumped for being violent in front of my son (I slammed my car dashboard because she began having contact with her ex husband and refused to introduce me). I know this was wrong but I did it because she kept pressuring me to hire her for a job I had promised her which technically got me laid. We were together for 6 months.

I picked up my stuff on day 0 where she hugged and kissed me yet warned me to keep the good bye nice or else she would call the cops... I immediately left and sent her a good bye email telling her what I really thought of her (not having boundaries with ex, possibly sleeping with me only because of that job promise, etc. I also told her that I would start healing and forgetting as soon as I pressed SEND and hopefully it wouldn't be too late when she realized me. I also told her that she can keep excusing herself from life long commitments because of seldom angry outbursts such as what I did or what her ex hub did (slam a door on her kid - end result = divorce. Last, I used the same PS. line as one of her last bf's good bye email: 'P.S. Try to get out of that room' (she still lives with her parents)

Since then, I deactivated my phony FB profile, and had gone no contact. I have zero reminders, links etc. I just have my exwife (whom my exgf had added as a contact) telling me that she is logging into her whatsapp constantly and has only done that the two times we've broken up. In any case, her kid's electronic stuff stayed in my car and she just texted me asking for it.... so far these are the options I contemplated:

1. ignore her

2. reply and tell her to f** off

3. reply 'I left it at X police station, exagerada (means exaggerating person in Spanish)'

4. reply I dumped it near her house along with the rest of her junk

5. drop it off at her place by leaving in the yard or porch

6. reply only if you tell me why you really dumped me

7. tell her okay, to meet me at X place and beg her to forgive me, that I am remorseful, responsible and willing to provide restitution

NEWSFLASH! I am on my way to her house... planning on replying to her text:

I'm outside. my kid just asked about yours, lets talk please. I am calmed down and very remorseful and want to be responsible, make up for my actions

 

[Renegade357]

And you will keep replaying lots and lots of moments in your head. The good. The bad. The pathetic. All of them will be replayed.

Yep, I'm still doing it every day after 5 months. It just hurts a lot less now. For whatever reason the memories linger. It doesn't bother me as much anymore because I accept it.

 

[bateman72]

Well I am at day 17. She made an effort to contact me at day 9 and day 10 which I ignored and I have not heard from her since.

I have hooked up a few times and they didn't remotely compare to my ex.

I feel like I am moving to the next phase of NC. The first couple of weeks were all about waiting her out and getting her to call me.

Moving forward it seems like it is going to be all about me getting ok with her not contacting me.

I know she is probably hurting as well. The difference between her and I is that she is surrounded by an almost infinite amount of attractive hook up opportunities and only needs to leave her house to be validated and forget.

I think my road to recovery will be a lot tougher than hers. If our paths do cross however in the future. I will be a changed man. she probably wont change at all.

good luck with maintaining NC today guys. I am really not looking forward to the upcoming new year.

 

[joker79]

NEWSFLASH! I am on my way to her house... planning on replying to her text:

I'm outside. my kid just asked about yours, lets talk please. I am calmed down and very remorseful and want to be responsible, make up for my actions

I wouldn't do that. You're not calmed down. Wait a week at least to do anything

 

[Lotus Effect]

I think my road to recovery will be a lot tougher than hers. If our paths do cross however in the future. I will be a changed man. she probably wont change at all.

You can bet your ass on that mate!

It is easier on them, and that is why they don't grow up. They will always remain 20 something in their minds, but their bodies will not keep up.

And that is why nowadays you see a lot of single moms, and lots of "mature" women alone, who cannot keep a man for more than 2 months.

Their blessing is also their curse!

 

[cgr68311]

I wouldn't do that. You're not calmed down. Wait a week at least to do anything

Reasonable. But still went for it. I could not hang on to her kid's toy (portable game player) much longer without (most likely) pissing her off.

This is what happened:

I pulled up to her house, drop the toy on her windshield, then texted her:

"I'm here. A** (my son) just asked for Y*** (her son). Let's talk please. I am calmed down. I'm very remorseful, really. and want to be responsible, make up for my actions."

1 minute later she replied: "Give me 5 mins please"

Then just bowed my head down inside my car and waited. She stood in front of my car and waited for me to come out. I stood up to her and she caressed my face with her hand. She had just taken a shower. I still have my head down and blurted some words and she's like what?? and I said:

"I have sinned against heaven and you, please forgive me" so she caressed me some more and said "I've forgiven you, I offer you my friendship".

I kept my cool and did not respond to her offer, just kept staring down and then uttered: "I was thinking perhaps our pastor could counsel us"... she waited a few seconds and said: "I will analyze it"....

We stood there hugging for a few seconds, then I walked to her car, she followed me and handed her the video player. She then started making conversation about how sad her son was, because his Christmas gift was in fact a game for this console. I just said 'sorry' and she was like 'oh it was not your fault'. then we hugged for a couple more minutes and she stood there until I drove away.....

 

[joker79]

mate, not sure what your plans are with her but "I offer you my friendship" doesn't sound good