The *No Contact* Challenge! ( Read this if you just got dumped)

[Bling]

Beginning of Day 4:

Yesterday was very hard, and today is already feeling just as hard. It's been 2 days since she asked me if I wanted to try being in an open relationship with her, without any title(I didn't respond). I can't stop thinking about it. Friday night I had a long talk with one of our mutual friends. When I told him that she asked me to be in an open relationship his response was "do you really think it will be open? Do you really think she'll be going out trying to get other men?" That made me start thinking A LOT, because yes, I do. I feel like I'll just be a place holder for someone else. I know this kid really cares for both of us, and he knows her really well. He might even be right, and that's what I'm scared of. Now I feel like I'm missing an opportunity to get her back. I shouldn't feel that way, but I do. I also feel like now that I've learned discipline in terms of contacting her, I can apply that discipline when contacting her if we were in an open relationship. Please remember, this is my perfect woman in every way...that's the only reason I am considering this. I know I should focus on her flaws, but guys, there's only one. It's hard to focus on flaws when there is only one I can find. Could/should I try and play her?...ugh! I know the answer.

Lately the only thing that makes me feel better has been working out. As soon as I step on the treadmill I start feeling better. Two days ago I ran 7 miles in an hour...the day before I ran 6.5 miles. I just quit smoking 3 weeks ago...I have never ran like that before...but it gives me confidence, and helps me feel better.

I don't know her... but I'd imagine the whole open relationship thing is you being a place holder while she tries to **** other guys. Don't give in and find someone new.

 

[Purefilth]

Open relationship?

Naw man NEVER. I translates to. "I'm keeping you around till something better comes along because I like the comforting Idea of having a fallback guy"

QFT
(yup I just quoted myself )

 

[itdude]

no contact challange

Day One... and what a long on it IS!

Today is my first day of no contact. She moved out this morning. She still has a key and said she will come get her stuff over time. (we have dogs together and she wants to transition them slowly). My heart is broken but I decided to do the no contact challenge.

she just texted me now saying "How is your day going? I haven't been home all day! "

mmmm two things?

1. which home could that be? and why share this with me!
2. WTF!!

as you can see I clearly need this challenge but I am going to need some motivation and that is why I decided to join the forum.

 

[Vidrio]

Day One... and what a long on it IS!

Today is my first day of no contact. She moved out this morning. She still has a key and said she will come get her stuff over time. (we have dogs together and she wants to transition them slowly). My heart is broken but I decided to do the no contact challenge.

she just texted me now saying "How is your day going? I haven't been home all day! "

mmmm two things?

1. which home could that be? and why share this with me!
2. WTF!!

as you can see I clearly need this challenge but I am going to need some motivation and that is why I decided to join the forum.

Give her all of her stuff as soon as possible. The longer it takes for her to get her stuff, the longer you guys will be in contact, and the longer it will take for you to get over her.

 

[Kevin Matthew]

Day One... and what a long on it IS!

Today is my first day of no contact. She moved out this morning. She still has a key and said she will come get her stuff over time. (we have dogs together and she wants to transition them slowly). My heart is broken but I decided to do the no contact challenge.

she just texted me now saying "How is your day going? I haven't been home all day! "

mmmm two things?

1. which home could that be? and why share this with me!
2. WTF!!

as you can see I clearly need this challenge but I am going to need some motivation and that is why I decided to join the forum.

Welcome to the road to recovery my friend!! I just began day 5 of no contact, so I know exactly what you're going through. But let me tell you something, misery loves company!! If you ever feel the urge to contact her, message me instead. I'd be glad to hear your story, because I know that talking/venting about it can really help.

You're on the right path my friend!!

 

[Exoduso]

Day 47, only now starting to truly feel like I'm moving on.
Started seeing a new girl last week, things are going good so far... hopefully things stay that way.
I turned down an outing to a club on saturday because I knew two of my ex gfs would be there... glad I avoided that potential for disaster.

 

[astonmartinone77]

Well, I haven't talked on here in a while (IDK if that's good or not haha)

And I'll let you know I asked this other girl to prom. She of course said yes!

And in the way of my ex, after I broke NC, (which btw I honestly couldn't even have considered it NC in the first place because we saw each other all the time in school) I have felt much better. I only sent her that one text and she sent only that one response.

But anyways, I texted my EX ex that night I broke NC. AKA the girl I dated before this last one. And I talked to her about all the things that have been going on because we have remained decent friends since I started going out with my recent ex. She apparently is closer friends with my ex than I thought and they talked about me and stuff and apparently my new ex thought that I "just wasn't getting the hint" that we were over. Well, I don't know what bigger hint there could be aside from ACTUALLY FUC KING BEING OVER. haha. Since we hadn't talked at all since the breakup and the only contact we had was seeing each other in the hallways, IDK where she got that idea from.

But, unfortunately all has not been 100% well. There are still those thoughts I get about her. Not really about things we did in the past, but about the future. Like just the small things I assumed we would do together just get me. And also having one of her best friends sit next to me in one of my classes talking to another girl about everything they did over the weekend and how much fun the concert was and how they partied all night.... it goes on. And it doesn't help as you could imagine.

I have recently been taking sizable steps to hang out more with my friends, I have recently started working out again and running two miles every day, and I have sort of stumbled upon Mindfulness and how living in the moment can really help your mood and happiness in general. Since I started my attempt at being mindful just yesterday, I had already noticed that I have lost a great deal of my shyness and I have found it much easier to talk to girls and just people in general than I did before.

Anyways, I hope all you guys are doing well and I hope to hear back from ya!

"Happiness is not a destination, but a journey."

 

[itdude]

I assume it was her choice to break up and move out?

If so, that means she "doesn't want you" . So, give her that.

Tell her you want her stuff out by April 25th, because you are thinking of getting a roommate.

Cut this umbilical as quick as you can. The sooner you can get the dogs sorted out, the better, because I can assure you this is her way of keeping you around and on the hook in case single life doesn't pan out.

NOW someone tell me this? why is it that, when they no longer want to be with you, they still feel the need and the RIGHT to contact you over and over, starting the next day? Does anyone else think this is a bit FVCKED?

thank you for the harsh words but much needed. When I got home last night she was lying in the bath and haven't even started packing. said she is taking an overnight bag. this is total bull**** and I don't understand why she is still hanging around! I will check tonight and see if her stuff is gone. If not I will follow your advice.

 

[Kevin Matthew]

I'm about to go to bed, tomorrow will be day 7 of no contact, and I just got back from making out with a cute asian chick. Hopefully she'll be my first. Setting up a second date with a cute jewish girl as well. They're helping keep my mind of my ex, but looks wise they don't match her. I need to get a smoke show, ya know? Then i'll forget her.

 

[astonmartinone77]

See, you guys are lucky. Being in high school (can't wait till college) I am limited with my options for random hookups. They just don't happen here. And I've been searching for places and groups to meet new people and new girls, but I simply can't find any.

I just started helping at a food pantry/soup kitchen for the homeless and plan on helping out at an animal shelter, but alas, there are only old people I am working with.

I know how great of an idea it is to move on and find new people, but to be honest, I don't know where to look! My ex has a great resource in her youth group. She meets tons of new people every week through that and has tons of fun with them. It of course hurts, but hell, I am moving on, am I not?

I just guess I got my hopes up for something like that, but other than that one youth group (which I obviously can't join w/ her and her friends in it), there really aren't many options that I can think of.

Any suggestions guys? Thanks so much, you are always an amazingly awesome help!

 

[L_T_D313]

See, you guys are lucky. Being in high school (can't wait till college) I am limited with my options for random hookups. They just don't happen here. And I've been searching for places and groups to meet new people and new girls, but I simply can't find any.

I just started helping at a food pantry/soup kitchen for the homeless and plan on helping out at an animal shelter, but alas, there are only old people I am working with.

I know how great of an idea it is to move on and find new people, but to be honest, I don't know where to look! My ex has a great resource in her youth group. She meets tons of new people every week through that and has tons of fun with them. It of course hurts, but hell, I am moving on, am I not?

I just guess I got my hopes up for something like that, but other than that one youth group (which I obviously can't join w/ her and her friends in it), there really aren't many options that I can think of.

Any suggestions guys? Thanks so much, you are always an amazingly awesome help!

You could try the internet, if you're into that type of thing.

 

[L_T_D313]

Day 71? Somewhere around there

Her birthday is Friday, I won't call her though. Anyways just updating you all, I feel good *James Brown voice started a new challenge no pmo day 12!! If I could do this NC I can do this 90-however long day process. Peace hope all is well! Remember never break it you'll just end up hurt.

 

[astonmartinone77]

You could try the internet, if you're into that type of thing.

Well, as much as I hate to shoot down an idea...

I have dabbled in it and found any website aimed at letting teens interact was jam packed full of fat mexican men jerkin' it. Nothing against fat, masturbating Mexican men, but I don't find you attractive.

I'm more for the young, thin, American girls. But hell, if that's what you're into lol.

 

[L_T_D313]

Well, as much as I hate to shoot down an idea...

I have dabbled in it and found any website aimed at letting teens interact was jam packed full of fat mexican men jerkin' it. Nothing against fat, masturbating Mexican men, but I don't find you attractive.

I'm more for the young, thin, American girls. But hell, if that's what you're into lol.

Lmaooo, I don't know what type of sites you were visiting. I pray I never go there. There are plenty of sites with American chicks... I for one stopped online dating because for one I got my groove back and two I don't like my chicks with sticks.

Trust me once you go to the college there will be a surplus of women all over the place

 

[Razzled_TK]

Starting NC all over again.

Broke NC after 3 weeks, running on to some glimpse of hope. But ended up regretting it, immensely. **** it, Back to square one. For real this time. Facebook Blocked. All forms of social media blocked. Number deleted and blocked. May seem childish but :cuss: . Sick of her lies. She moved on so quick, its ridiculous. :box:

 

[itdude]

Starting NC all over again.

Broke NC after 3 weeks, running on to some glimpse of hope. But ended up regretting it, immensely. **** it, Back to square one. For real this time. Facebook Blocked. All forms of social media blocked. Number deleted and blocked. May seem childish but :cuss: . Sick of her lies. She moved on so quick, its ridiculous. :box:

hang in there. I am on day 3 and my thoughts are on her 24/7.

 

[astonmartinone77]

Starting NC all over again.

Broke NC after 3 weeks, running on to some glimpse of hope. But ended up regretting it, immensely. **** it, Back to square one. For real this time. Facebook Blocked. All forms of social media blocked. Number deleted and blocked. May seem childish but :cuss: . Sick of her lies. She moved on so quick, its ridiculous. :box:

Yep. It's amazing how happy they are and how much fun they are having without you right after the breakup, huh?

That's one of the hardest parts for me personally in getting over my ex. When I see her in the hallways, she ignores me and pretends I'm not there, but once she is with her friends, in or outside of school, she has a blast. Or at least she seems to have a blast.

I actually found a good article here: http://www.isnare.com/?aid=1003772&ca=Break-up

Just ignore the last paragraph where it wants you to buy a book that explains how to get your ex back. The stuff at the top is solid info.

Thanks guys, and good luck!

 

[itdude]

Day 3 I no contact and it has been an epic failure. At least she has now finally moved out. Tonight will be my first night alone with her stuff gone. In one way I'm relieved as I don't have to sit and worry will she be home tonight or not. So far I can see that this challenge is for me. So now back to no contact DAY ONE! Can anyone say what is the hardest part. For me the first few weeks and then going to bday parties and explaining to everyone the engagement is over.

 

[itdude]

thank you for your advice Mauser and Brad. I am going to repeat that over and over!! She has already phoned but I am not picking up. She said I must not ignore her. Now she thought of an excuse to contact me but I am still staying strong. I do feel very guilty for ignoring her texts and calls but as you say it is all just selfish bull****.

 

[Kevin Matthew]

today is day 8, and the beginning of week 2 of no contact.

God damn I miss her. Everyday it gets harder to not check her social media. I don't want to sound, or act like a stalker, but I want to know what's happening in her life right now. What is so important that she had to let me go. It's really hard having a lot of mutual friends...it's even harder knowing shes good friends with my brother's girlfriend.

I try to stay focused on other things, but at times it is fvcking hard. Whatever, right? **** that b!tch.