The *No Contact* Challenge! ( Read this if you just got dumped)

[itcantgetworse]

good stuff guys ,interesting reading

 

[SandraBaxton]

Since I was dumped 7 daus have passed. I was crying, hating everyone around but then I realized that there is no need to use this NC rule for getting them back, no need to be back with a person who didnt want you, who never appreciated you. NC rule is for YOU. To calm down, to forget, to start a new life. And maybe right down the corner you will meet a person who will delete all the bad memories and all the pain you have inside- as I met my new friend just one day ago. Of coz I still think how I was left outside alone with many bad words but now I dont ask myself WHY. I accepted it, also I know for sure that he will be back. But now I wont be there for him. Now I am here for myself and for my own happyness. And I will survive these black days with the help of God, parents, friends and new love. I wont wait him to come back but he will. I wont be angry at him, wont talk behind his back abt him to his friends, wont do anything. Each pain goes away, especially pain which occured by being dumped. Treasure yourself and with you lots of true love with no games in New Year!

 

[Desdinova]

Never read this thread until I needed it today. It is essential to this forum. *Stickied*

 

[sadonomspa]

So 2 weeks and counting. Saturday was probably the best day. Yesterday and today sort of sucks. I keep just thinking of what I could have said. I put up no fight for her and feel I have regrets for not doing so, but then again how can you make someone want you.

I wanted to contact her but won't. I saw another post on here that made me relize I would feel much worst. I can't picture how that is possible but I am listening to the people on this forum who were in this.

I am not mad, angry, just depressed. Heck id rather anger and hatred than depression.

I feel as if iam not fighting for my right to tell her how wrong she is. That's what iam encountering right now.

 

[pinkfl]

So 2 weeks and counting. Saturday was probably the best day. Yesterday and today sort of sucks. I keep just thinking of what I could have said. I put up no fight for her and feel I have regrets for not doing so, but then again how can you make someone want you.

I wanted to contact her but won't. I saw another post on here that made me relize I would feel much worst. I can't picture how that is possible but I am listening to the people on this forum who were in this.

I am not mad, angry, just depressed. Heck id rather anger and hatred than depression.

I feel as if iam not fighting for my right to tell her how wrong she is. That's what iam encountering right now.

You have to think of it like this: you are clearly committed to the relationship. When she left, she basically said "I don't want to work things out with you anymore". She isn't committed. She left you, not the other way around.

The only time you need to "fight" for someone is if you messed up and they are mad and you feel its worth the struggle to earn their trust back. When someone leaves you...they are not worth fighting for.

 

[Purefilth]

Never read this thread until I needed it today. It is essential to this forum. *Stickied*

Nice one, I was wondering why it hadn't happened before. You read through the whole thing?

 

[Desdinova]

Nice one, I was wondering why it hadn't happened before. You read through the whole thing?

Not the whole thing, just a few pages.

The last time I contacted her, I was trying to fix what I thought was 'jumping the gun' with ending the relationship. I figured I may have read her questions and discussion the wrong way (which I've had a problem with since my marriage ended) and sent her a very positive message on FB. She responded by telling me that the relationship needed to end (although she mentioned how it was painful to tell me.) I didn't respond. She apologized yet again through text the day after. Again, I didn't respond.

I'm glad that my last message to her was confident, positive, loving, and even humorous - every single thing that I aimed to give in a relationship, and everything a woman needs to receive. It's her last memento of me and it has no trace of desperation or neediness. It's one of the greatest things I've ever written to a woman.

I'm on day 16 of NC.

 

[sadonomspa]

Way to go, poison is slowly leaving.

 

[SmartDating]

If she starts texting or calling before the 60 days are over, ignore the calls and delete the voicemails and textings without reading them. She will bombard you with more and more attention and pleas, but you must not communicate with her...... even if she says she wants you back, or wants to talk. No contact means No contact, and i doing no contact too, im on day 3.

Man, in This level we gotta to shut down our Emotion totally, No Heart Feeling, just Use Your Brain simultaneously.

For some situation, its necessary.. LOL

 

[SmartDating]

If she starts texting or calling before the 60 days are over, ignore the calls and delete the voicemails and textings without reading them. She will bombard you with more and more attention and pleas, but you must not communicate with her...... even if she says she wants you back, or wants to talk. No contact means No contact, and i doing no contact too, im on day 3.

Man, in This level we gotta to shut down our Emotion totally, No Heart Feeling, just Use Your Brain simultaneously.

For some situation, its necessary.. LOL

 

[bigdrov1x]

I just sent my GF the last text that I am ever gonna send her. It says "Happy New Year" Be safe!! I am the biggest beta ever. It is amazing how I ever got laid in my life, but I cant complain. My girl resume has been strong in my life. I can honestly say that I know what it is to be the guy in the club that other men wish they were because of the girl on my arm. What they did not realize is all the work and bull**** that beautiful women can be, and that "everything is temporary". Anyways I am sick of always being the one to initiate. Calling or texting, and not getting a response or a late response. It used to be an almost instant thing to get a response. Well I am done with that noise. Sure it will suck because I thought that this girl we had chemistry or something. But as much as it sucks, it is better to get out like this, than be the chump fool who calls and texts with no reciprocation. I have known about NC since the movie "swingers". But have still had beta game..Go figure. I am gonna concentrate on ME from now on. Save $$, workout, and then travel overseas and slay some young ass. (im 40 btw). Thanks to you guys for this site because whenever I feel like giving in, I come here and get resolve. Happy 2013 everyone!!! Also you youngsters, a piece of advice: Hang with your family as much as you can because they r the only ones who really love you, and you never know what tomorrow will bring. If you have $$ saved, buy gold!! Peace Out!!

 

[itcantgetworse]

On 10 days now ,last night sucked new years eve tried to enjoy myself ,i cant get her out of my head its pathetic confidence is shattered ,trying to look forward be positive but shes bloody stuck in my head all the time non stop

 

[Kawai]

Sandra is absolutely correct...unless you're just evil and are patient. Example: There was a girl I dated in 2005. Long story short I kicked her out of my apartment one night after not giving up sex (we had an unspoken agreement...I guess). This is probably one of the most ruthless things you can do. To add insult to injury, I slammed the door just as she crossed the threshold (this is really not right..."snicker").

After 7 years I received an email from her. Of course I apologized because now we are both big boys and girls. She wanted closure...and she also wanted another shot at the relationship. I won't lie, out of all the NCs I've done, I actually never expected this to happen.

So it goes to show, if you NC, get on with your life, withhold closure there is actually a very high probability she will contact you again...just don't sit around waiting for it. The obvious key is that there had to have been some sort of high interest to begin with. The other key is to serve it swiftly, cleanly, and do not go back on it, do not second guess it.

That said, these days if I use NC, it's mostly for me and my sanity then anything else, but if you have an evil streak in you, it's best served as a surprise and without words because most women want closure so they know they weren't the broken ones. This also won't work if you've been abusive...they'll be leaving as fast as possible.

 

[bigdrov1x]

Just decided to go the NC route. Background: dating a girl have know for years. We got along well good chemistry etc. I have to be away 4 work all the time. Nyways was out of town for New Years. But I am always the one initiating stuff. Texts, calls, etc. they have dropped off huge. She professes her love 4 me, but I just read something from Roosh " believe what women do, not what they say". Anyways last night new years I sent my final text:"Happy New Years..Be Safe!!"..She sent one back that goes "Happy New Years Babe! xoxoxo". Same with Christmas, all I rate is a Text Message.."Merry Christmas!! Love Ya!! xoxoxo". Try to call a few days ago, get voicemail, then text saying at a friends grandmas funeral for like the whole day cant talk. **** that Noise!!!! I think talking to me about nothing should be more important than that. I remember being at a friend who died early wake, and taking phone calls in the middle of it. If shes not alone, will not talk or call back, just get a text saying what shes doing..with family or later sorry was out with friends. And then today posts on Facebook her New Years pics of her partying with friends. She has a lot of guy friends as well. Put up some pics with them, but nothing like NYE kisses etc. I dont know why, but I hate to see who I think as my girl taking pics with other guys who I dont know and trust. Im a guy, we **** anything for any reason if we think we can get away with it. She says..as long as I come home to you it shouldnt matter. I consider it an issue of respect. I dont take pictures with women, I dont have any girl "friends". Am I wrong? Nyways I am done, had to send NYE text to be polite and the bigger person. I have to be out of town until I can get out of my house in Cali that I bought at the very wrong time. Was gonna go back to see her 4 Valentines, but am going No Contact. It sucks because I thought that this bird was different, but as Snoop Dogg says "*****es aint **** but hoes and tricks". Those rappers sure know their hoes. I have No contacted before because I learned it from the movie " Swingers". Ill be OK, its just I would rather be told to "**** off" dont contact me, than feeling strung along. Also this bird, not 3 months ago, I was giving her some $$ to help her out with some bills( I know stupid me). She calls me crying about stress and pressure etc. I ask about family or friends, nope, comes to me for help. What a chump I am right. You would think that she would drop everything to chit chat with me. Nope. Well no more Mr.Niceguy, I thought that all of the game playing was over, played things straight up. Obviously you cannot do that. The funny thing is that I was dating below my average. I know that I am better looking than she is pretty. Usually I just go for the hottest bird, but this time I went lower because of personality, less *****y etc. let me tell you that it doesnt work. I am 40 yrs old now, and have had a pretty good resume with women. I am just gonna take my balls and pride and walk away without saying a word. Also they say to delete FB, i am not because when I see pics of her, it just reinforces my decision because she is on the wrong side of the wall, and she gets worse as I get better. kind of like shadenfreude. Spoke with my sis about this and she said NC was the best. She also said that if it doesnt feel right, it probably isnt. Gonna spend a lot of time with my family in the next year. Sorry about the rant, but it feels better to write about it rather than stew over the disrespect. Peace

 

[bigdrov1x]

srry, thought that my first post didnt go thru.

 

[Desdinova]

I'll tell you guys what the most difficult part for me is, at least right now. My ex was diagnosed with a thyroid problem (don't worry, she's not a porker!) She puts in quite a bit of effort to take care of her body. Unfortunately, she got some questionable medical advice from some guy on the internet, advising her to start ingesting iodine and to slowly increase her intake over time. She keeps the iodine in a glass jar with a metal clasp. The clasp has started to corrode and deteriorate. I told her once, "if it's doing that, I can't imagine what the iodine is doing to your stomach".

Only after we broke up, I looked into the idea of ingesting iodine. Basically, it's just like ingesting poison. The correct way to take in iodine is to put it on your skin, not down your throat. When we broke up, she was having bad stomach problems. I've been tempted to tell her that she's destroying her body by ingesting the stuff, but I can't do that. I can't break NC.

 

[Purefilth]

I'll tell you guys what the most difficult part for me is, at least right now. My ex was diagnosed with a thyroid problem (don't worry, she's not a porker!) She puts in quite a bit of effort to take care of her body. Unfortunately, she got some questionable medical advice from some guy on the internet, advising her to start ingesting iodine and to slowly increase her intake over time. She keeps the iodine in a glass jar with a metal clasp. The clasp has started to corrode and deteriorate. I told her once, "if it's doing that, I can't imagine what the iodine is doing to your stomach".

Only after we broke up, I looked into the idea of ingesting iodine. Basically, it's just like ingesting poison. The correct way to take in iodine is to put it on your skin, not down your throat. When we broke up, she was having bad stomach problems. I've been tempted to tell her that she's destroying her body by ingesting the stuff, but I can't do that. I can't break NC.

That is a toughie. If it becomes a problem, I'd hope she has the good sense to see a doctor.

Who takes medical advice from randoms on the internet?

in fact - who takes ANY advice from randoms on the internet?

 

[itcantgetworse]

day 12 didnt contact thats good ,starting to think she has deleted my phone number doing no contact to me or occupied with her ex who is around there more regular than before ,really trying to up my self but feel im walking into walls getting no where

 

[j0504s]

Back to a week on N/C after her selfishly, blowing up my phone with texts and phone call, which i stupidly caved to and called her back on christmas (telling me i should be with her)....Shes f**king datin another guy wtf, BPD women SUCK! I hope with her nuumber blocked now i can get through this. I hate that i will run into her at an event in two weeks and her parents will be there who used to praise me and were more upset about the break up then she was. Not sure how to handle it and its all I can think of....

 

[Scootietrue]

Crazy

I'm really crazy right now. I dated a girl almost eight years and she broke up with me a month ago. Our situation was kinda of messed up from the beginning. We were both married and then hooked up while working together. The affair was found out of course. She got a divorce about a year or so later, but my wife was pyscho, and it took years for mine to go through. My girl and I continued to work at the same place. We stayed together through it all, but she left to go full time on a job she had been part time for several years. And guess what? She is now seeing someone at the new workplace. The owner of the business in fact.

I guess what comes around goes around, but I really was (and still am) in love with this girl. I'm trying no contact, but it is killing me because I see her occasionally at work. She will be leaving permanently within a month. She seems fully involved with this other guy, who is separated from his wife. And his wife worked there with my ex also. In other words the three of them worked together for awhile. Common sense is telling me I need to leave the whole situation alone. But I don't know why it is so hard to do. I guess we invested alot of time in each other and she just got fed up waiting on my divorce. But I don't understand why she jumped in a relationship with another married (though separated) man. His wife doesn't have a clue of what's going on and his divorce will probably go through without a hitch. I'm jealous of that.

I know I need to move on, but it's only been a month and I'm just having a hard time dealing with it.

I guess this would be a new thread.