The *No Contact* Challenge! ( Read this if you just got dumped)

[itcantgetworse]

Alright, I take the challenge. Got officially dumped on Tuesday, said she was unsure of what she wanted.

I decided NC right after I spoke to her, didn't make it official just thanked her for being honest and told her I appreciated it.

Next day she messages me if I am okay. I did not respond.

So today would be day 5. Today probably was the worst. I didn't sleep last night and wanted to talk to her. Instead I texted my brother who said " I am doing the right thing and this is like jujitsu, the best offense is to use the other persons weight against them.

Wish me luck guys.

good luck atleast you seen sense to do it straight away

 

[itcantgetworse]

this site is great ,dont get me wrong i done the dumping stuff myself and been hurt before and got over it ,but because i gave up so much for this one i aint even got any friends left to pick up the pieces and i really cant say if i will get through this all my mind is doing is thinking of ways of ending it thats so wrong i aint a young person im 44 ,i remember her saying dont put me on a pedistall like the others ,but she did to me sorry but im not handling this well

 

[pinkfl]

this site is great ,dont get me wrong i done the dumping stuff myself and been hurt before and got over it ,but because i gave up so much for this one i aint even got any friends left to pick up the pieces and i really cant say if i will get through this all my mind is doing is thinking of ways of ending it thats so wrong i aint a young person im 44 ,i remember her saying dont put me on a pedistall like the others ,but she did to me sorry but im not handling this well

What you are suffering through is similar to an addicts...you are literally addicted to the other person and you are going through a withdrawl.

You need to take care of yourself. That is the best advice I can give. Even if it means going to a therapy session, or calling an old friend or family member you haven't been in touch with. Find some method of support that doesn't involve her. She's not going to comfort you...she is the one that hurt you.

There are a lot of other people in the world. You owe it to the person in the future that you haven't met yet to be the healthiest person possible. Go to the gym, or just go for a walk around your neighborhood. Put stuff that reminds you of her in a box and put it away.

Go look for a class or something in your town on groupon that you can get involved in. It's never too late to learn something new.

 

[dans]

No Contact during Christmas

My girl left me 4 months ago (because I became AFC). I've been keeping no contact for 2 months and now I am not sure what to do during Christmas.

1. Should I send her sms for Christmas?
2. What to do if she sends me one?

I would like to point out that I still have hopes for this relationship (don't ask me why - stupid heart) but I am not going back by begging or ever again being AFC.

I am really struggling what to do? I am affraid that if I don't send her sms, but if she started to miss me due to no contact that I will lose my window of opportunity.

What do you think?

 

[popsickle]

My girl left me 4 months ago (because I became AFC). I've been keeping no contact for 2 months and now I am not sure what to do during Christmas.

1. Should I send her sms for Christmas?
2. What to do if she sends me one?

I would like to point out that I still have hopes for this relationship (don't ask me why - stupid heart) but I am not going back by begging or ever again being AFC.

I am really struggling what to do? I am affraid that if I don't send her sms, but if she started to miss me due to no contact that I will lose my window of opportunity.

What do you think?

Don't contact her under any circumstance. 4 months is a pretty damn long time, most likely she's been having fun, which is what you should be doing too. Exes are like prison. If you go back, it means you didn't learn your lesson the first time. Enjoy some family time for the holidays. Then go out there and meet new women.

 

[dans]

Don't contact her under any circumstance. 4 months is a pretty damn long time, most likely she's been having fun, which is what you should be doing too. Exes are like prison. If you go back, it means you didn't learn your lesson the first time. Enjoy some family time for the holidays. Then go out there and meet new women.

Thank you for your response. I also think that i shouldn't, but what if she contacts me? Would that mean there is a chance, or is she just beeing polite? How should I interpret that and how to respond?

 

[popsickle]

I wouldn't reply if I were you. Most likely she would flake again the second you would show interest. If she is genuinely interested again, then not replying will only work on your favor.

 

[ricodragos]

She`s just checking if your alive, do what you feel.
If you want to invite her out, do it.. but dont expect anything different this time, its over, you will keep hurting as much as you allow it.

 

[dans]

I wouldn't reply if I were you. Most likely she would flake again the second you would show interest. If she is genuinely interested again, then not replying will only work on your favor.

What about simple "thank you, merry christmas to you too"? I guess that wouldn't mean I am desperate? Or am I wrong?

F... can you see how messed up I am thinking so much on what to respond? Four months have passed and I still think of her

 

[itcantgetworse]

What you are suffering through is similar to an addicts...you are literally addicted to the other person and you are going through a withdrawl.

You need to take care of yourself. That is the best advice I can give. Even if it means going to a therapy session, or calling an old friend or family member you haven't been in touch with. Find some method of support that doesn't involve her. She's not going to comfort you...she is the one that hurt you.

There are a lot of other people in the world. You owe it to the person in the future that you haven't met yet to be the healthiest person possible. Go to the gym, or just go for a walk around your neighborhood. Put stuff that reminds you of her in a box and put it away.

Go look for a class or something in your town on groupon that you can get involved in. It's never too late to learn something new.

yeah i have i booked some hypnotherapy
might work might not this site is keeping me goingand determined to do this thank you im having good days bad days been speaking to people they believe its a xmas thing with kids and ex knowing i would go mad over him spending time with her doing the family thing ,thats fine where do u draw the line when your at home and they are playing happy familys for the kids drinking etc is it so wrong if that was the truth thanks for listening im doing my best

 

[itcantgetworse]

this is helping me today,i just went back to page 1 and clicked the first link and read it again ,what im feeling is why im doing this it reminds me of why ,if anyone is like me my mind is going else where so if u have it bad like me read it again its made me feel better today reminding myself why i aint contacting her good luck people thank you

 

[Purefilth]

What about simple "thank you, merry christmas to you too"? I guess that wouldn't mean I am desperate? Or am I wrong?

F... can you see how messed up I am thinking so much on what to respond? Four months have passed and I still think of her

No. Ignore, block, delete. - Anything you need just dont respond. Have you read the rest of the thread?

No Contact.

Just ignore it if it happens - you are waay overthinking something that hasn't happened.

scroll to the bottom of this page and click the link to the DJ bible, start to read.

Ive been through this, its time and banging a few new chicks that heals.
Get some hobbies, keep yourself busy and that should take your mind off her.

 

[Reptile]

My girl left me 4 months ago (because I became AFC). I've been keeping no contact for 2 months and now I am not sure what to do during Christmas.

1. Should I send her sms for Christmas?
2. What to do if she sends me one?

I would like to point out that I still have hopes for this relationship (don't ask me why - stupid heart) but I am not going back by begging or ever again being AFC.

I am really struggling what to do? I am affraid that if I don't send her sms, but if she started to miss me due to no contact that I will lose my window of opportunity.

What do you think?

Same situation except I've been in NC for a longer time. All I can say is...

How did you celebrate Christmas before her? Didn't you feel good about Christmas before you met your ex? Ofc you did.

I felt really good about this Christmas even without her, and I definitely don't need her to be happy.
Don't contact her. If she contacts you, don't answer, it won't do any good.

 

[itcantgetworse]

its been 3 days and i aint sent a tx ,doing better today .
i deleted stuff of her a fbook account i had etc now im wondering i have some xmas stuff of her and aftershaves she has bought me rather than put them away is it ok just to sell them ? happy xmas everyone and good luck

 

[dap]

What about simple "thank you, merry christmas to you too"? I guess that wouldn't mean I am desperate? Or am I wrong?

F... can you see how messed up I am thinking so much on what to respond? Four months have passed and I still think of her

Fûck no! No response is the only response. You are correct, you are not thinking right.

 

[itcantgetworse]

any one on and hurting

 

[sadonomspa]

Day 7 or 8..Xmas..

Was starting to feel better until she messages me "Hope you and the family are having a good Christmas with lots of fun".. This girl broke up w me last week. She knew exactly what time we celebrate too. What sucks is I am reminded of all the crap we did this time last year...My ex is long distance and didnt contact me or respond for a month! Now after the break up she contacts me more than she ever has since she left in July. First time her mom didnt text me either. I must be a "bad guy".. Seriously? Anyway I was torn as to respond or not. I will not.

 

[Purefilth]

Day 7 or 8..Xmas..

Was starting to feel better until she messages me "Hope you and the family are having a good Christmas with lots of fun".. This girl broke up w me last week. She knew exactly what time we celebrate too. What sucks is I am reminded of all the crap we did this time last year...My ex is long distance and didnt contact me or respond for a month! Now after the break up she contacts me more than she ever has since she left in July. First time her mom didnt text me either. I must be a "bad guy".. Seriously? Anyway I was torn as to respond or not. I will not.

good lad - ignore

 

[itcantgetworse]

day 4 no tx .handling this much better now,went and got my exs kids not the latest ex, from some years ago took them out .while out who did i bump into yes the one who dumped me she looked at me i looked at her but i didnt acknowledge her ,i did notice she didnt look great or happy and believe me she loves shopping ,so im chuffed i handled it well ,well i think i have ?

 

[Purefilth]

day 4 no tx .handling this much better now,went and got my exs kids not the latest ex, from some years ago took them out .while out who did i bump into yes the one who dumped me she looked at me i looked at her but i didnt acknowledge her ,i did notice she didnt look great or happy and believe me she loves shopping ,so im chuffed i handled it well ,well i think i have ?

Makes me proud buddy.

Well handled - Block, Delete, Ignore them