The *No Contact* Challenge! ( Read this if you just got dumped)

[Yachtie]

Challenge Accepted. Day 1.

Effff. Read this thread a few times and hoped I'd never have to post.

After enjoying a lot of good sex, good dinners together, and awesome weekends away since August, I accidentally let her find out that i renamed her a Flake in my phone. She stopped responding to everything despite me trying to get a chance to explain and tell her this is silly. She finally got back to me when I deleted her from my BBM (it removes me from her list too). She said I seemed overbearing (giving myself a reminder that she's a flake), and that my attempts to explain (i said it was funny) were driving her crazy. So, NC it is.

No Contact started Midnight Jan 19, 2011. Cried for a bit. Watched porn--didn't jo. browsed okcupid to remind myself she's not the only one out there.

Day 1: woke up from a xanax/Tylenol PM-induced solid night's sleep. 45 minutes on the treadmill, lifted a little, jumped on fitday.com, healthy breakfast, CNBC, positive and minimal facebook bs with friends, and moving on. Already making a big career change and major residential move. I'm keeping the facebook connection with her but hiding her from my g-chat so i don't see her name all the time. In spinning plates, she was the piece of china, so I'll focus on some plastic for a bit.

 

[prince of darkness]

Thanks guys of all your replies u guys awesome I am trying to man up and gain control of my self she was my every thing treating her like a princess and then she dumped me for ex who look like the family guy WTF!!!!
Thanks again
it's day 17 of NC i miss her like crazy pray 4 me guys!!

 

[prince of darkness]

Ok what if she text me or call me ignore her!!?
What if I meet her some where in town what do!! ? Say hi or act like she don't even exist !!?

 

[SamTheHobit]

Ffs was deppresed over the ex today. 11 days of absolutley no contact. One day women will all become monsters.

 

[prince of darkness]

ok it's day 19 i feel like S*** sleeping all day crying & so down!!!

 

[Swift Shadow]

I guess it's destiny, this thread creeps to the top again and i'm in a crap situation with another girl.

I won't go into details becuase i've learned not to dwell on the past but i'm posting in here to help me keep on track

 

[Swift Shadow]

ok it's day 19 i feel like S*** sleeping all day crying & so down!!!

Mate it's ok. i know it hurts now and it really will if there was a genuine connection between you both but believe me when i tell you that time heals wounds.

I was like you during the early stages, it's ok to hurt for a while but you have to pick yourself up and get on with life, the reason you hurt is because you are letting yourself act that way, you are making that concious decision.

I literally broke up with my girlfriend last night but i'm over it, sure the sex was great and she was a decent girl but you live and learn and you grow from the experience

 

[prince of darkness]

Thanks swift for ur words I am trying to do my best she was my every thing and my best friend I love her to death but I can't believe how she treated me and how she acted she said I will call the police if u won't leave me alone after all I did for her she said that for no reason !!! And I was only talking to her didn't even touch her or say any bad words to her I am shocked !!!!

 

[HBK]

Day 14

Well its been 2 weeks now since my Ex dumped me. I havent contacted her or thought of contacting her. I havent heard from her either. Been busy in work so its a welcome distraction. Few days last week i felt lonely and thinking over things, but i find going for a walk, hit the gym is much more productive then being on your own in your bedroom. Going out tonight with a few mates from work and was invited to abirthday party tomorrow night.

Keep busy, head up and dont look back.

 

[SamTheHobit]

On the two week mark of no contact. Been depressed for the past few days. Just been gyming alot my mucles are completly stiff. Still marching on.

 

[bankshot56]

I've done this twice before

Once to get back with an ex, and once to get over an ex.

So I just want to let everyone posting here to have faith, this works if you give it enough time.

Remember that the key component is your own self-improvement, how much can you learn and grow from this?

If you can't stop thinking about your relationship you may as well be productive, so identify all the things that went wrong, were you too needy? Not adventurous enough? Figure out what went wrong, and fix it.

Look at everything you wish you could change about yourself AND DO IT. You're not doing it for the ex, your doing it for yourself.

I ran into my ex after 2 years of no contact, and all I could think was "Wow I can't believe how boring you are, how did I date you for so long?" So if you do the NC right, you will also probably develop a very indifferent attitude to your ex.

 

[bankshot56]

On the two week mark of no contact. Been depressed for the past few days. Just been gyming alot my mucles are completly stiff. Still marching on.

March on! Starting your day off with stand-up comedy might improve your mood.

I don't know how experienced you are at working out, but don't overwork your body, you gotta give it time to rest and repair so your muscles can get big.

 

[bankshot56]

Ok what if she text me or call me ignore her!!?
What if I meet her some where in town what do!! ? Say hi or act like she don't even exist !!?

Always say "Hi" don't ignore her, you wave and be normal happy (not too happy though), if she tries to go into small talk, just tell her you got to go, and get on with your life.

If she calls, don't pick up, if she leaves a voicemail, then call her back in a day or two.

If she texts you, text back again in a day or two, remember you're so busy with your awesome life that you don't have time to respond right away.

 

[piday314]

Ok what if she text me or call me ignore her!!?
What if I meet her some where in town what do!! ? Say hi or act like she don't even exist !!?

It really depends on the circumstances of the breakup. If she wronged you, don't be afraid to ignore her texts and calls 100%. If she really wronged you, ignore her in person until you're really over it.

On the other hand if it was a pretty innocuous breakup, you can toy with the idea of waiting a long while before replying.

 

[prince of darkness]

It really depends on the circumstances of the breakup. If she wronged you, don't be afraid to ignore her texts and calls 100%. If she really wronged you, ignore her in person until you're really over it.

On the other hand if it was a pretty innocuous breakup, you can toy with the idea of waiting a long while before replying.

Yeah bro she Wronged me big time!!! she said leave me alone or i will call the police!!!! and i didn't even say any bad word to her, disrespected here or even tried to be mean!!!

 

[Don Juanabbe]

****in' hell. Glad I'm older now and don't give a sh*t about relationships with women.

Been cheated on once. She wanted me back, so I kept her on the side, told her what she needed/wanted to hear, and then started cheating on her like crazy.

**** 'em if they cheat on you, play with their heads after that.

If they dump you, no amount of 'No Contact' is going to work unless she's playing games to begin with.

If they cheat - it's over. You may try to get back with her, but it'll drive you nuts as you'll always think of the other guy boning her.

 

[SamTheHobit]

17 days N/C I have my up days and my down days.. This break up has really broken me. I dont think ill be with any girl for a long time.

 

[EastWind]

Day 18

The **** hits the fan. I'm on my way to my friend's room and before I even knock on the door I hear my ex's voice and laughing. Before long I hear soft moaning. I stood there for a while, listening, I wanted to be 100% sure of what I had on my hands before I passed judgement.

He had given me his word - his word as a man, as a friend - not one week before that there was nothing going on and that there wouldn't be "in the foreseeable future".

Then I left, called my one true friend, we chilled, he said if this is true - and I believe you - then he's dead to me. A friend who can't keep his word is no friend.

This morning I felt devious. I call him and tell him to come over, we need to talk. I stand in front of his door and as he exits, I get a full picture of her, still in bed, him in the door. I'm just smiling. I say nothing. He tells me to hit him already and I say that's not what I do. You get one shot at explaining, and it better ****ing wow me.

But he's got nothing. "It just happened, I was lonely... something something." I tell him I have no use for friends whom I can't trust to keep their word, and that I hope this is at least going somewhere for him because else he's got nothing, as our other close friends have passed their judgement. But he says it's not going anywhere, that it was a mistake, that there's nothing he can say. Then he shakes me hand, tells me it was nice knowing me and that he understands if I never want to see him again.

I leave for her room. This is breaking the no contact but I'm feeling.. I don't know. I knock, and tell her maybe she's got something to tell me. We end up talking for an hour and I realise:

- we have differences that cannot, ever, be bridged
- she's a lying, manipulative *****
- she's just a bad person

She says she doesn't see what the big deal is about, that me throwing him out of my life is unfair and immature. Etc. blabla. I stayed for too long but I got closure. It won't ever work out. Attraction is gone.

They deserve each other.

I go to work, call the people I trust (father, sister) because I need to talk. I get a mutual friend at work and tell him the story, he's appalled. I spend the evening playing cards with a few - good - friends/acquaintances, then go home. Play some RPG with my sister. Now I'm going to bed.

They're both blocked and deleted from everything. I don't think there's any going back. I just need to recall those moans from through the door along with the mental image and I'm filled with disdain and rage.

 

[HBK]

Day 20

Well its now nearly 3 weeks since she broke up with me. Still upholding no contact. I havent heard from her either.

Im not thinking about contacting her, however if she does in contact, which is usally by text, i would like to get some closure on the breakup. Besides telling me "she loves me but she doesnt....." i never got any real answers into why she broke up with me. I have accepted the breakup, and if she contacts or not its irrelvant now. But i would like to learn from it.

Otherwise im ok, been back playing sports and spending time with the lads. It does help being around people.

 

[SamTheHobit]

3 weeks no contact 1/3 of the no contact challenge complete.